Forbidden
by destielshipper
Summary: AU: With a past behind him, seventeen year old Castiel has escaped and is starting afresh in a new high school. He meets, Dean Winchester, his older and more mature teacher who knows right from wrong but sometimes temptation is just too much to overlook.
1. Chapter 1

**No beta – you've been warned. All mistakes are my own. **

Staring out of the bedroom window, Castiel Milton sighed pressing a hand to the cold pane of glass. He watched the wind blow the dead trees outside of his window around and felt a lonely sadness inside him. Three days ago, he and his brother, Gabriel, and sister, Anna, had moved here to Washington D.C from Colorado after the "incident".

Castiel shuddered rubbing on his chest and swallowed hard.

"Cassy!" Gabriel shouted up to him and waited patiently but got nothing in return. Anna stood in the door way drying her hands on a towel with a sad frown.

"He's been cooped up in that room for three days now! He starts school tomorrow"

"He's been through a lot, Gabriel" Anna said softly.

Gabriel sighed running a hand across his face and nodded. "I know"

Castiel was seventeen now and in his 12th grade in high school; they had enrolled him at Cardozo High School a few days ago to start in the beginning of the semester. With the move, both Gabriel and Anna, had lost both their jobs and were currently looking.

"I'm 25 years old, no girlfriend, no job, living with my sister and kid brother" Gabriel moaned throwing his phone on the couch.

"You decided this, Gabriel!" Anna said in a hushed tone. "We needed to get out there not only for our sakes but most of all, Castiel's, and you can leave if you want too! There is nothing stopping you"

Gabriel turned to glare at her and picked up his car keys in the process. "I'm going to go look for a job in this stupid city, there has to be something"

"Find me one?" she joked turning back into the kitchen and starting the dishes.

Castiel sighed turning away from the window and dropping down onto the bed curling into a small ball. By leaving Colorado, he had left his home, his friends, his school, and his life behind and with that overwhelming loneliness building up inside him. He wondered if anything tomorrow would change, would he make friends, finally find that first love everyone boasts about. He closed his eyes wishing up to the stars for a bit of luck.

~0~

"You look cute" Anna said that next morning look over at his black t-shirt, blue jeans and smart shoes.

"I look normal" he commented munching on his dry toast and throwing it down. "What's the point in this, Anna? It's 12th grade, who cares?"

"I care" Anna said sitting down on the seat opposite him. "I want you to finish high school, go to college, and complete that dream of becoming a doctor. You're going to be amazing, you're going to go on to bigger and better things and be better than me and our stupid brother"

Castiel sniffed looking up at her and rolled his eyes. "You have high expectations"

"No, I just believe in you"

"Anna…"

"This is a fresh start and I know that the fear and the memories… they will never fade but…maybe a distraction will do you good"

Castiel looked away from her and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I just want to forget…"

"It'll never fade but time's a great healer"

Castiel nodded swallowing down his juice and grimacing at the bitter taste. "I better go"

"I'll give you a lift"

"I'm not twelve, Anna"

"Nope, you are seventeen and your big sister can still give you a lift to a school which is over twenty minutes away"

Castiel rolled his eyes at her pulling on his black hoodie and slinging his side bag over his shoulder. Anna grinned at him walking out into the fresh air and looking up at the blue sky.

"It's a beautiful day already" Anna said turning to look at him. "Smile, Cas, what's the worst that can happen?"

Castiel grimaced climbing into the Volvo 4x4 and settling into the seat. He watched the passing houses and streets feeling sicker than ever. He didn't want to go; he hated the thought of being the "new kid" on the first day of a new year. Everyone would have friends already and he would be the sad loner.

"Here we are" Anna said pulling up on the sidewalk. Castiel swallowed turning pleading eyes on Anna who smirked at him.

"Go! Just go up to reception, say your name, sign a few forms and enjoy yourself, make friends"

"You make it sound so easy" he muttered climbing out and glaring at her. "When is high school easy?"

He slammed the door keeping his head down as he marched towards the entrance. He passed students who didn't take any notice of him as he barged inside to see a friendly looking woman with soft brown hair and blue eyes look up to him.

"May I help you?"

"Hello, I'm Castiel Milton" he said stepping forward seeing the recognition in her eyes.

"Ah, the new student, yes" she said typing on her computer with a soft smile. "If you will just sign these for me"

He took the pen signing the documents and looked up when she handed him his timetable and his locker key.

"I hope you enjoy your last semester with us" she said with a smile. "If you get lost, ask one of the students or a teacher"

"Thank you" he said pocketing it and walking out into the corridor, he looked down to see it was 22b and hunted it down.

"Excuse me" he said to a blonde girl talking to a boy with longish brown hair and another girl with curly black hair. "I can't find my locker"

"Are you new?" she said looking him up and down.

He nodded nervously and let out a little sigh of relief when she smiled warmly.

"Hi! I'm Joanna, but call me Jo, this is Ash Smith and Pamela Barnes" she said gesturing at him. "Welcome to the 12th grade"

"Oh, so you…"

"Yeah, so who are you?"

"Castiel Milton" he said looking bashful, Jo smiled at him and nodded.

"Wow, what an unusual name" Pamela said looking him up and down. "Cute but shy, you're in for a ride, kid"

"A ride?" he whispered and blinked when she laughed.

"Ignore them" Ash said rolling his eyes and hitting his shoulder. "I'm Ash, I'm into computers, are you into computers"

"Yes" he said confused and smiled when Ash grinned.

"Awesome, me and you will get along great!"

Jo shook her head at him and tilted her head at him. "I know where 22b is, follow us"

Castiel could feel his stomach turning, his heart pounding against his rib cage and his vision blue a little as he followed them. He was so nervous but the worst was over, he had found friends for the mean time.

"Here it is" Jo said gesturing and he smiled looking over the red door and opened it up shoving his bag inside but keeping his timetable.

"Hey, who do you have first?" Pamela wondered snatching it off him and nodding. "Oh yeah, you're in history with us"

"We have history first?" Jo exclaimed taking out her timetable and whooping.

"Why…why are you so excited about history?" Castiel said looking between the two girls getting all excited, Ash plugging his ear phones in his ear with a sigh.

"It's not the lesson! It's the teacher" Pamela answered with a seductive smirk.

"Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear" Jo whispered nudging her. Castiel turned his head and his heart stopped at the sight of a very attractive man heading down the hallway greeting students, mostly girls. He was wearing tight fitting black pants, a white t-shirt covered with an expensive looking waistcoat, he had short honey brown hair and the most startling green eyes he had ever saw.

"Hello, Mr Winchester!" Pamela called thrusting her breasts forward and batting her eyelids at him.

"Pamela, I thought I told you to call me, Dean"

"But that's naughty" she purred at him.

Dean snorted shaking his head at her. "You are a nuisance, Miss Barnes"

"I learn well" she flirted tossing back her black curls. Dean smiled looking to Jo who grinned at him.

"Jo, nice to see you back in school, I hope we get the B grade you want so much" he said when she flushed looking down. His eyes looked up to Ash who gave him the thumbs up.

"Dude"

"Hello, Ash" he said with a small chuckle before looking to Castiel and blinking surprised.

"I don't know you…"

"This is Castiel!" Jo said moving him forward towards him. Castiel stumbled over his own feet as he looked up at him and swallowed.

"I'm Castiel Milton, I-I'm new" he said breathlessly staring up into the green eyes, this close he could count his freckles.

"Castiel" Dean murmured letting it roll off his tongue and smiled at him. "Strange name, I see you are in my class in a few minutes, I hope you are a hard worker"

"I am named after an angel and yes sir" he murmured feeling heat flood his cheeks. Dean smiled again at him and nodded at them all as he moved on.

"Fuck me" Pamela said throwing an arm around Castiel's shoulders. "I would fuck him so hard over that wooden desk of his"

Castiel didn't say anything but couldn't help but privately agree.

Jo scoffed pulling her bag onto her shoulder. "You wish, I think the entire school wishes"

"I don't" Ash said rolling his eyes as they headed to the classroom. Castiel could hear his heartbeat in his ears and an attraction already building in his heart for this man, his teacher. Castiel stopped in the middle of his hall shaking his head and buried it down.

"No" he whispered inhaling deeply and moving forward with them.

The bell rang shrill across the school signalling first lesson. Castiel walked in glancing at the other student's taking their seats and moved towards Dean.

"I don't have a seat, sir" he whispered. Dean looked up and nodded.

"You can take the seat at the back if you don't mind"

Castiel nodded moving towards the back and ignoring the stares directed at him. He sat down noticing Ash was two seats down from him, Pamela at the front, and Jo far across the room. He pulled out his pen feeling a little disgruntled but let it pass as Dean clapped his hands together.

"Final year! 12th grade, this is it, guys, one more year with me and then you are out of here. You are free to do what you like, when you like, but this year you all need to work your asses off because I am not going to fail a single one of you" Dean said looking at the students in turn, his gaze lingering on Castiel for a second longer. "I want you to knuckle down, give me the best homework you can give, and get those grades"

Castiel sighed looking out of the window towards the nice sunny day and longed to be outside with a book, his music, or something.

"As you can all see we have a new student with us, Castiel Milton" he said loudly getting his attention as he turned his eyes back towards him. Dean indicated his head at him with a small smile.

"Anything to say?"

Bodies of the students turned around to face him and he gulped shaking his head.

"No, no, I have nothing to say"

"Okay, welcome to the class" he said standing up. Castiel sighed pressing the pen into his mouth watching him introduce U.S history to the class. Dean was confident, instructive, and most of all the most gorgeous man he had ever laid eyes on. Castiel bit the pen clenching his eyes together feeling a wave of shame inside him. Why couldn't he learn from his actions?

"Pages, 72, 73, 74, I want you to write down your notes, answer the questions there and prepare because I am setting you your first assignment"

An audible groan sounded around the room in horror and he laughed.

"12th grade, folks, you're not juniors anymore" Dean said sitting down at his desk looking over his students who chatted quietly amongst themselves. His eyes roaming across them all till he reached Castiel in the back working away quietly, Dean noticed the tousled black hair, pale skin which flushed beautifully and the biggest ocean blue eyes he had ever seen. Dean hated to admit it but his weakness had always been blue eyes, something so innocent and beautiful about them. He looked away and down to his work feeling something stir down inside him, something uncomfortable and wrong.

The lesson ended quickly and the bell rang for second lesson, he handed out the sheets for the deadline promising more lessons on this topic.

"Castiel, can I speak to you for a moment?" he called to him as he walked down the row of seats. Castiel nodded standing in front of his desk waiting patiently.

"How was your first lesson?"

"Interesting, you teach very well" Castiel said with a shrug.

Dean raised an eyebrow leaning back into the chair and folding his hands in his lap.

"How was history in your last school?"

"Boring, I…was failing, I'm not very good" he admitted.

Dean leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you sure you can handle the class?"

"Yes, I'll try my best" he muttered with a small sweet smile.

Dean fought back a smile and nodded at him. "I'm pleased to hear that, now, you better get to English Literature before Miss Bennett has a fit"

"I will do, sir"

"Oh, Castiel?" he called to him when he reached the door.

"Yes?"

"You can call me, Dean" he said watching him flush and nod quickly darting out of the room and down the corridor. Dean blinked sniffing deeply and tapped his pen on the desk wondering what this year of school would bring him, last year was dull as always, but maybe this year would be a lot different.

**A/N: I love student fics! I wanted to write one so here it is! **

**You know the drill, guys, reviews would be really helpful! **


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel came home dumping his bag on the kitchen table and sitting in front of a confused Anna who circled her hands around her coffee.

"Good day at school?"

"I guess"

"Make any friends?"

"Yes"

"How were your lessons?"

"Good"

"Are you going to have a normal conversation with me?" Anna said frustrated.

"No" he said with a smirk getting up and moving out of the kitchen. Anna looked after him and sighed placing her head into her hands.

"I just want to know how your first day of school was!" she shouted after him following him upstairs.

"It was fine!"

"Who are your friends?"

"Pamela, Joanna, and Ash" Castiel said kicking back on his bed.

"What's your favourite lesson?"

"History" he said without thinking and blinked startled to his answer.

Anna frowned at him folding her arms across her chest contemplating that answer.

"History? You hate history, Cas, you were failing in your last school"

"Thanks for reminding me"

"I am being truthful, why do you like it all of a sudden?"

"It's different" he murmured picking at his jeans. "Different subject, different teacher"

"Oh really?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"I like it, Anna, it's no big deal. Where is Gabriel?"

"Settling into his new job" she said with a smile.

Castiel nodded looking up at the new ceiling. "He got one then?"

"Yes, working in a supermarket"

Castiel snorted pushing himself to a sitting position and rolling his eyes. "That's great"

"He's trying, Castiel, be grateful"

"I am!" he said with a sigh getting up and grabbing his coat.

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk!" he shouted slamming the bedroom door behind him and storming out of the house. Anna sighed dropping her arms and looking out of his bedroom window to see him cross the street and head towards somewhere.

Castiel was buzzing with held in anger and frustration as he stormed down the street not noticing as he turned the corner and ran smack into a figure. He groaned hitting the floor and hissed feeling spasms of pain running up and down his back.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry" a voice said loudly above him. Castiel opened his eyes to see a scruffy looking man with a beard clutching a notepad staring down at him frightened.

"Are you okay? Oh god, I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, no, I'm okay" he murmured pushing himself up and groaning when the back of his head protested.

"I am so sorry, I just wasn't concentrating and you came out of nowhere like a ghost!" the man said throwing his hands up. "It's been a really stressful day"

"I know the feeling"

"I'm Chuck Shurley" he said holding out his hand to him.

"Castiel" he said shaking it and letting his fall quickly.

Chuck eyed him up and down and nodded. "I am sure you'll be fine, enjoy your day"

Castiel blinked when he raced away from him and frowned rubbing the back of his head as he walked down the street. He found a little park unoccupied and sat down on the swing looking up at the setting sun, he felt a little buzz in his heart as he pulled out his timetable to see he had history tomorrow second period. Castiel bit his lip thinking of green eyes, waistcoats, and a smile he swore would kill him one day.

"Crushing on the teacher on your first day, well done Castiel" he muttered to himself stashing the paper in his pocket. He kicked back his feet and swung gently on the swing willing the day to go faster, the sooner he was back in that lesson the better.

**~0~**

"So, how are you liking it?" Jo said as they walked up the corridor towards science.

"It's okay, nice students, nice teachers, friendly atmosphere" he said gently looking towards her. Jo nodded wrinkling her nose a little and shrugged.

"The school is nice but I would do anything to get out of here, my mom runs the local bar in town and she wants me to join her" she said clutching her book to her chest. "I don't want to be a barmaid all my life, I hate it already, I want to do something exciting!"

"Then do it" he said nudging her. "Don't let other people lead your life, Jo, it's your life, your career and only you can decide it"

Jo smiled at him and they stopped when a classroom door opened.

"Mr Winchester" Jo said smiling warmly at him.

"Jo, Castiel, the person I was looking for" he said with a nod.

Castiel felt his heart skip a beat and swallowed hard. "Me?"

"Yes, you, I was hoping I could take a moment of your time before lessons begin"

"Sure" he murmured glancing at Jo who shrugged at him and skipped away happily. Castiel stared up at the green eyes and thought of summer leaves, apples, and anything delightfully green. He cringed at the thoughts and shook his head gently.

Dean opened the door wider letting him in and shut it behind him.

"Sit down" he said indicating at the chair. Castiel sat down staring up at him and inhaled shakily when he sat down in front of him, hands on the desk, a small smile on his face.

"I was thinking I know every one of my students since they were in the 7th grade and they were all new learners. You are the newest, I don't you, I don't your technique, your writing skills, your knowledge on history and I really would like to" Dean said gently.

"Okay?"

"I want to know what grade you are at; I want to know if you can achieve a grade A, B or even a C so I want you to write me an essay"

"You want me to what?" Castiel said startled.

"I want an essay off you. It can be of anything you like, World War 1, World War 2, Hitler, The Cold War, Kennedy, and whatever you wish. I just want a 2000 word essay on anything" Dean said leaning back in his chair. "Think you can do that for me by tomorrow, I will give you the entire next lesson to research"

Castiel stared at him and bit his lip softly with a nod. Dean followed the action and coughed looking away feeling an overwhelming urge to do something very inappropriate.

"Okay, I will let you go now, Castiel, just explain to Miss Mills that I was talking to you about an essay" he said pulling papers towards him. Castiel nodded getting up and walking over to the door before turning around and smirking amused.

"Dean?"

"Yes?"

"You can call me, Cas, you know…Castiel is a bit of a mouthful"

Dean stared up at him bemused and nodded slowly watching him grin and walk out of the room. Dean closed his eyes shaking his head and grabbing his pen jotting down notes for the next lesson feeling and hearing his heartbeat in his ears.

"Oh god" he muttered pressing two fingers squeezing his bridge. "Bloody good start, Dean"

Castiel ran into the classroom breathless and stopped staring at Miss Mills who glared at him.

"I was with Mr Winchester" he said with a smile. "We were talking about an essay"

Miss Mills sighed gesturing him over to a seat beginning her lesson again. Castiel sat down next to Jo who pounced on him immediately.

"What did he say?"

"Gave me an essay on anything so he can find out what grade I am working at"

"Seriously?" Jo said in awe and sighed. "I wish he'd do that with me, I would write a whole essay on the things I do with him"

Castiel stared at her and looked away flushing. He looked at Miss Mills who was talking about plants and moved to lay his head on his hands and closed his eyes just waiting for that bell.

"Oh this is dragging" Jo said letting her head fall on the desk. "I hate science; I mean who even cares about plants?"

"Gardeners"

"Oh hilarious, smart ass" Jo muttered shoving his shoulder roughly.

"It's a fact, we have ten more minutes"

"Finally! I hear about pollen one more time I'll find a way to destroy all plants!"

Castiel laughed into his hand and stopped when he felt a twinge at the back of his head.

"Oh hey, do you know who Chuck Shurley is?" he questioned.

"Chuck Shurley? Yeah, he's the psychic"

"Psychic?"

"Yes, he predicts shit and they come true. He's a bit of a loner, writes all the time, predicts things and they happen so he freaks people out and they leave him alone"

"Oh" he said with a frown not quite understanding why he needed to know about this man who knocked him over but his gut instinct was telling him to find out. The school bell rang and Jo whooped grabbing his arm and dragging him along.

"Hey, how old is Dean?"

"Why do you ask?" Jo said as they walked to the classroom.

"Curiosity" he said softly.

"Twenty six, last week" she said smugly before looking over to him. "My mom knows him! He always comes into the bar for a drink on his own, I've known Dean for a long time but no one knows that because if they did, I would be prime target number one for stalking him"

"I won't say a word" he said walking into the classroom and staring at Dean who had his back turned writing on the chalkboard. His eyes roamed down the back to the ass and he raised an eyebrow.

"Perfect ass" Jo mouthed at him with a silent chuckle. Castiel sat down and leaned back in his chair grabbing books from behind him to find a perfect subject to tackle. Throughout the lesson, Dean made his mission to not look once in the direction of the back but could feel the heat of those blue eyes watching him. He set the class their task and sat down at his desk with a sigh pulling his phone towards him.

**Sam**

You know I'm right, Dean. Give it a shot.

He clicked off the message and closed his eyes feeling a headache coming on.

"Are you okay, Dean?" he heard and looked up to see Chastity leaning forward, breasts on display and a concerned look on her pretty face.

"Yes, Chastity, get back to your studies" he said in the calmest voice he could muster before flickering a glance over to Castiel for the first time in the hour lesson to see him hard at work.

Dean didn't notice the stares of a young woman in the back watching him closely and smirked flicking her brown curls back and waiting the opportune moment.

**~0~**

Castiel was walking down the corridor during lunch period listening to his music when suddenly he felt his back hit the lockers and a groan escape his mouth.

"What the hell?" he whispered looking at the girl pinning him against the lockers.

She was a little shorter with curly brown hair and an evil little smirk.

"So you are the new kid?"

"My name is Castiel" he hissed shoving at her and watching her fall back a little shocked.

"I'm Meg Masters" she said holding out her hand.

Castiel eyed it suspiciously shaking it once before he felt the metal of the locker again when she shoved him against it.

"Don't you ever shove me like that again, you hear me?" she hissed gripping his hand a little too tightly.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said with a glare looking up and down the corridor to see some juniors staring and whispering.

"Giving you a little bit of friendly advice, watch your back" she said wrenching his hand away from hers and stepping back. "There's just something about you I don't like"

"You don't even know me"

"I don't want to know you" Meg said with a sneer. "But already you have an effect on people"

"What are you talking about" he said angrily at her. He didn't understand at all why this girl had randomly started hating him.

"You know exactly what I am talking about" she said with a laugh pushing him against the locker till he slid down it staring up at her in shock. "Just watch your back; I'm not the only one who's taken a certain dislike for the new boy"

Castiel watched as she walked away and gaped wordlessly.

"Cas?" Dean said as he came out of the stairs door and seen him on the floor. "Are you okay?"

Castiel nodded pulling himself up and rubbed his chest wincing a little. Dean stepped forward looking towards the now distant figure of Meg walking down the corridor.

"Was Meg Masters bothering you?"

"I think I have a new enemy" he murmured with a frown.

"Meg? She likes to think she is the big misses around here, no one messes with her, no messes with her little gang, but really she's just a classic school bully" Dean said with a shake of the head. "Ignore her, it's your second day and she likes fresh meat but one more warning and the headmaster will deal with her"

"I'll keep that in mind" he murmured looking over to him and sighing audibly.

"Picked a topic?"

"World War 2" he said with a little shrug. "Nothing fancy"

"Nothing fancy? The second biggest world war is just "nothing fancy" in your eyes" Dean joked with a little puff of laughter.

"Something like that, I was never a big fan"

"Well maybe I can get you to change your mind, Castiel" he said with a small smile that made his heart flutter.

"Maybe you will"

Dean nodded looking back down the corridor and tilting his head. "I have another lesson, so I expect to see that essay on my desk, 9am, understand?"

"Yes, sir"

Dean stopped tilting his head at him. "Have you forgotten what I told you?"

"You called me Castiel" Castiel teased gently feeling a smile rise up inside him.

"Ah, so I did, well maybe I can get you to change your mind… Cas"

"Yes, Dean" Castiel said correcting himself and flushing a bright pink colour. Dean laughed gently shaking his head.

"See you tomorrow, Cas"

"Goodbye, Dean"

The both of them turned the opposite way going down both ends of the corridor, Castiel grinning as he fought down the heat rising in his cheeks feeling the back pain lessen and his heart beat just a little faster while Dean closed his eyes feeling like the biggest fool in the world, what was that kid doing to him?

"I am so fucked" they both whispered to themselves as Castiel pushed the door open entering the yard, Dean hitting his head against the wall of his classroom. If they thought this was bad, they had seen nothing yet.

**A/N: Ah! Your response to my first chapter was amazing. Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**I do rather like this; I hope you all do as well. **

**Feedback would be amazing.**


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel opened his eyes that next morning and looked towards the window to see a sliver of sunlight coming through the window. He slid up against the headboard pulling his history essay towards him with a sigh glancing over it. His chest ached a little and he sighed tossing it to the side understanding why he hated history, why he was failing, and why Dean was going to hate this essay.

"Castiel? We have to leave in ten minutes!" Anna shouted up to him.

Castiel pushed himself out of the bed dressing into a light blue t-shirt and jeans knowing it set off his eyes. He ran a hand into his hair as he stared into the bathroom mirror rubbing at his chest, his eyes stung as a flash of a memory hit him.

"_You are nothing to me now, I see you for what you really are, and you are dead to me"_

Castiel brushed the tear away and straightened up brushing his teeth feeling an ache inside him flame up.

"Come on, Castiel" Anna shouted jingling her keys.

Castiel came down the stairs and Anna smiled up at him.

"That shirt sets off your eyes so well, I am a little jealous; you did get mom's eyes"

"How would I know?" he muttered when he stepped off the last step.

Anna swallowed looking away from him feeling her own pang of sadness. Twenty four hours after Castiel was born, Hope Milton, passed away in the early hours after severe blood loss. From then on, Anna took on "mother figure" from five years of age.

"You've seen pictures, she was beautiful just like you" she said with a small quirk of the lips moving out of the house. Castiel glanced over to the fireplace looking at the woman supporting a huge baby bump and looked away with a sniff following after her.

"Enjoy school" she said dropping him off at the school gates.

"Anna, stop it" he said slamming the door while she gaped at him baffled. "Seriously"

He turned on his heel heading straight into the building and towards the history classroom hoping and praying he was inside. He peered in the little slit of a window and smiled seeing him perched on the end of his desk deep in thought.

Castiel knocked and pushed open the door greeting him.

"Ah, good morning" Dean said sitting up straighter and nodding at him.

"Your essay" he said handing it over and stepping back.

Dean glanced over it and nodded. "I have a free lesson so I'll read it and then I'll find you for the result"

"Okay" he whispered looking up at him.

Castiel noticed the bob of his adam's apple as he looked away and coughed nervously. "So you better be going so I can read this in peace"

"Sure" he murmured turning his back and heading back towards the door. Castiel looked over his shoulder to see Dean watching him leave before turning his back on him; he smiled softly before leaving the room.

He strolled up the corridor in a bit of a daze while Dean sat at his desk looking over it and sighed rubbing his forehead. He read over it and frowned deeply turning over to the second page and groaned.

"Oh Cas" he whispered closing his eyes.

"Hey!" Jo said when she seen him walk over to her.

"Hello"

"You do the essay?"

"Yes, Dean is looking over it as we speak"

"Mr Winchester?" Pamela said leaning against her locker. "I would write an essay on just his ass, perfect, round, biteable"

Jo slapped her on the arm and turned to face him again with a shake of her head.

"Sorry she's such a whore"

"Fuck you" Pamela said with a glare.

Castiel laughed at the both of them and sobered up when he caught sight of a certain girl walking down now surrounded by a girl and a boy.

"Who's the girl and the boy with Meg?"

"You've met Meg?" Jo whispered.

"Briefly and unkindly" he murmured pulling his jacket tighter around himself.

"Ruby and Alistair" Jo said looking over to them with a look of disgust. "Think they are something special, untouchable, but they're really not. They are also on their last warning, one more and there out! I am waiting for this mistake"

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Ruby said loudly interrupting them.

"Just curious as to why dogs are allowed around the school" Jo replied coolly.

"Want to say that again, bitch!" Meg said interrupting and moving towards her.

"Whoa, whoa, what the hell is going on here!" a loud voice said as Jo advanced on Meg yanking her hair. They all turned to see their R.E teacher, Bobby Singer, come along and interrupt them.

"Nothing, sir" Jo said letting her go. Meg glared at all of them and allowed herself to be tugged away by Ruby who hissed at her from under her breath.

"One more warning, Meg, and we're out. I don't need that shit" she hissed as they walked away.

Bobby eyed the lot of them and shook his head.

"Third day and already causing trouble?"

"She fucking started it!" Pamela raged. "I swear to god I am going to rip that ugly little head off one day and see it fucking roll!"

"You will not, now off to class" he ordered pointing down the corridor.

"Come on, guys" Ash muttered who had remained silent throughout the whole confrontation. Pamela seethed kicking at the locker as she walked by.

Castiel glanced at Jo who was breathing out heavily.

"Nice move"

"Pulling her hair is a weakness, she loves her hair too much" Jo said smugly as they stopped outside math.

"I am glad I've met you all" he said after a moment surprising Jo.

"Me too" she said with a kind smile.

Castiel looked down at the floor feeling the slow ebb of sadness inside him die away and be replaced with what he hoped was happiness.

~0~

It was noon when Dean found him and dragged him to his classroom.

"Take a seat, Cas" he instructed dropping down into his chair and sighed sadly.

"What is it?" Castiel murmured dropping his bag on the floor with a soft thump.

"I read over your essay on World War 2, Cas, and…well" he said handing it back to him. Castiel looked down to see a massive E on the top and swallowed back the lump forming in his throat, a dead weight dropped in his stomach, and he nodded letting the paper fall back down.

"I see"

"None of it was your own work; you copied everything from a textbook and the internet, Cas. It's not good enough, not for my class, not for my work. You are not a junior or even in lower school anymore were they take this" Dean said holding it up. "You are a senior now; I expect work in the highest grades"

Castiel looked away from him feeling belittled and talked down upon like he was incapable.

"I want to help…"

"Don't bother" Castiel snapped looking up to him. "I quit. I'm not coming to the lesson anymore, you have clearly told me in some words that I am clearly incapable to even achieve a higher grade than an E so no thank you, I'm quitting"

"Castiel!" Dean said when he moved to walk off. "Sit back down"

Castiel hovered standing in the middle of the room inhaling and exhaling shakily turning to face him.

"I told you I was failing history in my other school and here is your proof. You are just going to fail me, sir, I will get the lowest mark in the class, I know it, you know it, so let's just drop it and I'll leave the class"

Dean pressed his lips together standing up and moving towards him glaring into his eyes.

"You will do no such thing" Dean said in a sharp tone. "You are not quitting my class, not now, not ever, because this here" Dean looked back to the paper. "You were clearly unappreciated and not taught as well as I thought you would be in your last school, I am going to make you into an A student in history even if it kills me"

"Sir…"

"I told you to call me Dean" Dean said placing a hand on his shoulder. "I want to help you, Cas, let me help you"

"How?" he said quietly after a long moment of silence.

"Extra lessons" Dean said removing his hand slowly. "You will meet with me every day after school in the library for one hour"

Dean, I…"

"No buts, one hour after school will be dedicated to your history" Dean said staring into the blue orbs filled with frustration but also an underlining of sadness that confused him.

"I'm not going to fail you, Cas"

"I know you won't, Dean, I am sorry for that essay and you are right. I copied everything"

"I know you did, I'm a teacher remember"

Castiel smirked eyes moving down to stare at the rosy pink of his bottom lip and felt a hunger gnawing at the bottom of his stomach. Dean coughed startling him and he looked up into uneasy green eyes.

"Right, well these lessons will start Monday" Dean said stepping back shoving his hands into his pockets. Castiel looked over him appraising the soft cashmere dark blue jumper and the tight fitting jeans, he sighed at how beautiful he was.

"That's fine with me" he murmured thinking of the one hour a day he got to spend with this man. He didn't care about history at all; he got Dean for one hour a day, who the hell cared about the history of the United States?

"Brilliant" Dean said with his small smile. "I will see you Monday since we have no more lessons till then"

"I am looking forward to it, Dean"

Dean looked over him and ignored the tightening in his lower regions; he had met this boy three days ago, what the hell was happening to him?

"Right, well I'll see you on Monday" he said nodding his head towards the door. Castiel blushed and nodded ducking his head and walking out of the room quickly. Dean sighed falling back a little hitting a desk and perching on it pulling out his phone texting Sam.

**Drink tonight? I seriously need one. Dean.**

**~0~**

Dean arrived at the tavern to see it pretty busy for a Wednesday night and pushed open the door seeing Ellen hurrying up and down the bar taking drink orders. He seen the moose of his brother sitting at the bar and nudged his shoulder as he sat down.

"There you are! I got you a whiskey" Sam said with a smile when he sat down next to him.

"School held me up" Dean said downing it in one and grimacing a little at the taste before letting out a gasp.

"So how is Jessica and little baby Daniel?"

Sam brightened at the mention of his wife and two month old baby.

"Very good actually, but I don't want to talk about my family, I want to talk about you"

"Why me?" Dean said with a groan.

"Maybe because you haven't dated anyone at all since Cassie Robinson two years ago" Sam said in a matter of fact tone. "It's seriously starting to bug me; you need a woman in your life"

"I have women"

"One night stands with girls who don't know your name or you theirs is not a relationship, its sex"

"Sex is good with them" he murmured not wanting to divulge that sex with men was even better. His one night stands were rarely women but men who wanted a quick fuck like him to release pent up frustration.

"Jess agrees with me, Dean, your whole life is that goddam school, essays, grades, and you need a good, stable, and honest woman who won't screw you over"

"Oh fuck off, Sammy, with this lecture! Listen to me, family man, I am perfectly happy with my life right now" Dean ranted gesturing over to the barmaid for another.

"Oh yeah, stuck at home in your lonely apartment, drinking all by yourself, and going to sleep in a cold lonely bed"

"Fuck off, Sam" Dean growled downing his third whiskey feeling the burn as it slid down his throat and enjoyed the dizziness at the corner of his eyes already.

"Hey, boys" Ellen said walking over and frowning at the both of them. "Why the long face?"

"My idiot brother giving me love advice because his sperm turned into a baby" Dean said smiling at Sam who flashed number 34 of his best bitch faces.

"I am trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help!" he shouted over at him. "I am fine!"

Sam looked up at Ellen for help but she shrugged.

"His life, sweetheart, let him live it"

"Thank you, Ellen, here fill this up for me. I'll walk home"

At 9.30pm Sam got up and patted Dean on the shoulder.

"Okay, big brother, I am off home"

"What? No, no, Sammy, its 9.30, dude" Dean protested slurring his words.

"I promised, Jess, I would come home sober and be back before 10, it takes half an hour to get home"

"You're…you're on a leash, dude" Dean said with a chuckle.

Sam rolled his eyes giving him a brief hug before taking off and signalling to Ellen.

"Take care of him" he mouthed edging through people and out of the door.

"So come on, Dean, why are you here on a Wednesday night drinking?" Ellen said leaning against the bar.

Dean scratched his hair and shrugged. "School problems"

"What problems"

Dean ripped up a bar mat between his fingers not looking up at her.

"_Stupid blue eyed boy with an angel name, hardly know him, don't know if I want too, but there is something about him…blue eyes"_

"Students being dicks" he finally answered.

Ellen laughed gently patting his hand and straightening her back up. "You chose the career, boy; you deal with it and all the students"

"Hey, where is Joanna?"

"My Jo is upstairs doing her math homework" she said fondly. "Wait, she isn't one of the students is she?"

"Jo? God no" he murmured shaking his head and feeling dizzy. "Oh shit, I better go now before I drink more"

"You can't drive, Dean" Ellen said sternly.

"It's fine! I'll walk" Dean said stumbling out into the cold air and inhaling deeply. "I live like…ten, no, twenty minutes away"

He strolled down the street humming an incoherent song loudly not caring who looked at him concerned as he stumbled towards the block of apartments. He pushed open the door and stopped looking at the stairs.

"I live on like the top floor" he whispered in shock heading towards the elevator. "No way, I am not climbing, no way"

Dean struggled with his key for a long minute before opening it up and slamming the door behind him, shuffling to the couch and dropping down onto it with a groan. He sighed rolling onto his side and listened intently hearing no sound apart from the hum of the heating.

"Stupid school, stupid history, and stupid…Cas" he murmured pressing his fists over his eyes. "Why!"

"Why, Why, Why!" he whispered into the empty space knowing no one could hear him and sighed miserably. "Sam was right; I am alone, all alone"

"Going to ignore him starting now" he murmured pressing his face into his couch. "I will not do this anymore, no more"

Dean mumbled nonsense till he drifted off into a deep drunken sleep dreaming of alcohol, his lessons, and a certain pair of blue eyes.

**~0~**

Castiel leaned against his headboard staring across to his window looking at the bright moon hanging high in the sky. Down below he could hear the shouting and the screaming of his brother and sister arguing like there was no tomorrow. A phone call came today, involving Castiel and the family which had caused tension, reassurance, and an exploding row started by Gabriel.

Castiel sighed plugging in his earphones leaning back on his pillow feeling the ray of the moon flood over his face. He couldn't wait for this week to be over and Monday to begin, Dean brought something out in him, he didn't know what and how but he did.

Castiel longed to feel happiness again, a lighter weight in his heart, and that little something which made him want to fall asleep and wake up to knowing it was there for him. At the moment his little bit of happiness were his new friends and a certain teacher he knew his harbouring crush for would kill him, Castiel just hoped it wouldn't disappear. He was going to need this more than he ever realised.

**A/N: I love the response to this! You guys keep me updating. **

**Thank you for all the reviews, keep them coming!**


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of his first week in school passed in a blur and before he knew it he was waking up to a brand new Monday morning. He had no more lessons with Dean till this day and up to now, Dean had been ignoring him. He was ignoring him, briefly speaking to him, and going in a different direction when he saw him.

Castiel walked into the classroom that early Monday morning to see Dean rubbing his forehead nursing a headache looking down at his desk. Castiel frowned sliding into his desk and staring at the man who was deliberately not looking into his direction.

All in all, his first week at Cardozo had been a nice experience, he was enjoying his time, he only wished he could enjoy a lot better.

"So, let's begin!" Dean said brightly to his class and turned his back to the blackboard. Castiel sighed slumping in his seat and turned his gaze to outside, it was a cold and miserable day matching his mood. Home was not a pleasant time at all with Gabriel constantly snapping at Anna who retaliated back with her own comments.

"Castiel, is there something outside more interesting than my lesson?" Dean said startling him out of his daydream.

"No…sir" he said with a raised eyebrow indicated only for him. Dean's eyes narrowed slightly before he started up his lesson again. Castiel sighed picking up his pen and lounging back rolling it across the edge of his lip and into his mouth; he barely noticed that Dean had set them to a task. He sucked on the end gently watching the rain fall slowly from the window till he felt green eyes watching him and turned to meet them.

Dean watched as the pen slid into his mouth and ran across the bottom lip slowly feeling dizziness and a weight in his stomach.

Castiel noticed and his brow furrowed confused to the nervous look in his eyes as he watched the pen.

Dean watched as he smirked and drew it out tilting his head to the side in question. He sniffed deeply looking down at the sheet and drew in a shaky breath.

"Get a grip" he muttered under his breath scribbling down furiously on a piece of paper.

Castiel chuckled under his breath; he was very confused but amused by this little turn of events.

He looked over the class to see Jo looking at him questionably. He shrugged at her and looked down at his work flipping open the text book and beginning.

Fifty minutes flew by and before he knew it the bell was ringing for next lesson. He sighed collecting his things together very slowly waiting till every person left before sliding up to him at his desk.

"Cas, how can I help you?" Dean said in a polite, formal, tone that made Castiel want to punch him hard.

"I was wondering if those extra lessons were still happening tonight."

"Yes of course, but only if you want too. I wouldn't want to take away your free time"

"No, no, I want this"

"Good, then I will see you again at the library" he said softly.

"I look forward to it" Castiel replied with a small smirk that made Dean's heart give a little jolt as he watched him walk out. The door clicked shut behind him and Dean pressed a hand over his eyes taking in deep calming breaths.

"What is happening to me?" he whispered opening his drawer and popping two pills into his mouth to numb the headache and hangover from last night. He hadn't meant to drink but the thought of coming in and having to look into those alluring blue eyes for a whole hour drove him to the beer.

Castiel ran down the corridor till he reached his locker and opened it up throwing his bag inside.

"It's a Monday morning, calm the fuck down" Pamela said noticing him.

"I am calm" he said taking in the sunglasses she was wearing indoors. "It's raining, Pamela"

"These lights kill my eyes!" she hissed glancing up and sighing. "Anyway, why are you so fucking happy?"

"I'm not, I just liked the lesson"

"History? The only good thing about that history lesson is when Mr Winchester bends over and I get a good look at that ass" she said with a sigh pulling out her bottle of water sipping it. "But apart from that"

Castiel hummed slamming his locker when a hand moved out to stop him.

"Wait, I was talking with Jo about you and we have one little question for our new friend…"

"Okay?"

"Are you gay?"

"What?"

"Only because you agree with us when we say that Dean Winchester is gorgeous, has a perfect ass, and it's totally fine with us if you are because…being gay is normal, I guess" Pamela said awkwardly shaking her curls. "Just…are you?"

Castiel scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. "Maybe…look I don't really want to discuss it"

"That maybe is a yes, well thank you for clearing that up" Pamela said with a relieved sigh. "I'll go tell Jo"

"No! Wait, Pamela…" he said trailing off when she walked away and swallowing nervously. Sudden anxiety picked at him and he turned his back rushing into the toilets feeling a wave of sickness. He hadn't felt this bad since _it _happened. Waves of pain, sickness, and the desire to block it all out just washed over him as he stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes had become wet and watery, and he let out a pathetic sound as he turned his back knowing he was now very late for lesson.

Castiel walked out of the toilets looking at the history door and wandered over to see if Dean was still there. He glanced inside to see him alone in an empty classroom reading something in his hand; he looked over at him to see he was wearing normal fitted jeans and a shirt over a t-shirt. Castiel sighed looking over the tanned skin and wondered just for one moment what it would taste like. Dean turned abruptly and caught sight of him and frowned.

"Shit!"

Castiel moved away hurrying down the corridor.

"Cas!" Dean called after him. Castiel ignored him as he turned to corner opening a door and hiding inside it to closing his eyes; he waited with baited breath listening intently for the sound of footsteps. He breathed out when there was nothing and glanced around to see he was in the janitor's closet.

"Typical" he murmured opening the door carefully and sliding out only to stop and stare at Dean. Dean was leaning against the lockers, arms folded, and waiting for him to come out.

"Coming out of the closet?" Dean said innocently but there was a flare of amusement in his eyes.

"Hilarious" Castiel said shutting the door.

"Why are out of class?"

"I couldn't stomach it, literally, I feel ill"

"Then why have you not gone to the nurse?"

"I was going too!" he snapped and felt guilty straight after when Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Sorry, I was going too"

"But instead chose to look into my window?"

Castiel flushed pink looking down at his shoes, Dean licked his bottom lip staring at the rosiness of his cheeks and felt a shame of disgust at how it made him feel.

"Go to class or go to the nurse, Cas"

"Class" Castiel said hurrying away without a backward glance for him. Dean watched him walk away as usual and sighed unclenching his tight fist and inhaled letting it out in a big puff of air. This was going to really test him.

**~0~**

The final bell rang and he sighed in relief when he realised he would be spending the entire hour with Dean doing history. Jo looked over at him as they walked out of art together.

"You have been a ball of sunshine all day" she commented.

"So?" he murmured with a smirk pulling his jacket around him tighter. "I rarely find something happy but when I do, I cling onto it"

"Okay" Jo said with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, enjoy history all over again"

Castiel nodded at her walking up the stairs towards the library, he glanced inside and looked around with wide eyes. It was huge with tables and chairs all around surrounded by computers and books.

"Cas" Dean said and he looked over to him in the corner. Castiel smiled at him before walking over and grimacing at the books on the table.

"You see this is why I hate history, all this reading" Castiel murmured picking up a book and throwing it down.

"I want to ask you a few basic questions" Dean said turning to face him. Castiel eyed the distance between them and nodded.

"World War 1?"

"1914 to 1918"

"World War 2?"

"1939 till 1945"

"Well done" Dean muttered. "When was Kennedy shot?"

"I don't know, do you know?"

"You are supposed to be answering the question"

Castiel smirked leaning on his hand looking up at him. "Was it you?"

"Was what me?"

"Did you kill Kennedy?"

Dean rolled his eyes pushing the book towards him. "It was in 1963 and no…it wasn't me, I'm 26 years old and was not even born"

Castiel smirked softly at him. "I have to say this, Dean, you are quite nervous around me"

"Oh really?" Dean questioned flicking through a book.

"Want me to suck my pen again?" he whispered into his ear and pulled back with a playful grin when he spluttered glaring at him.

"Are you just going to mess around teasing or am I just wasting my time being here"

"No, I'm sorry" Castiel said pulling the book towards him. "I just love history so much"

Dean raised his eyes to the heavens hearing his sarcastic tone and ignored the warm feeling flooding inside him, he liked Castiel, he was different, nothing like the other students and it unnevered Dean very much. Dean couldn't deny for one second that Castiel wasn't gorgeous, soft black hair, pale skin that flushed beautifully pink when he was embarrassed and the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. So it was no surprise to Dean as he watched him closely that he wished he was older, he wished more than anything he was in his late twenties like he was and he could take full advantage of him.

Dean bit his lip not thinking of the consequences if he did otherwise. Castiel sighed flicking through it and looked over to Dean resting his cheek in his palm.

"What?" he murmured gently.

"Nothing, anyway, why are reading the Gulf War?"

"It's interesting actually and it's a recent war"

"If you are interested about the wars, read the world wars instead"

"I have, they are so boring, why don't you make it more fun" he purred in a teasing voice.

Dean gritted his teeth moving away and fixing him with a hard look. "Stop that"

"Stop what?"

"You know what!" Dean hissed at him pinching his bridge wishing he had taken some more headache tablets.

"I am doing nothing, Dean" Castiel said with a puzzled look.

"Flirting" Dean whispered under his breath.

Castiel blinked looking up and away from him amazed.

"You think I am flirting with you?" he whispered when Dean glanced at him.

"You're not?"

"If I was, would it be so bad?"

"Cas, stop it, okay?" Dean said feeling tired all of the sudden. "Now can we focus and stop playing these silly little games, I would remind you that you gave me an E essay and I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart"

Castiel nodded slowly leaning back in his seat listening to Dean as he cleared his throat and began talking about the First World War.

"I thought we were doing U.S history?"

"We are, well the class is, you are not"

"What? Demeaning me already!" Castiel said horrified sitting up a little straighter.

"The students in my class are working towards, A's and B's, Cas, I can't settle you on that just yet but we will get there" Dean reassured. "We have a good few months"

"You are sticking with me for a good few months?"

"Of course, Cas, I am here to help you no matter what. I will help you; I will get you that grade you want so much"

Castiel stared into the green abyss of his eyes feeling his breath against his cheek and bit his lip, Dean's eyes flew down towards it and back up to his shocked at what he had just done. Castiel could hear his heartbeat in his ears and swallowed hard forcing the nerves and the lump in his throat back down.

"_Is he going to kiss me? Am I going to kiss him? Oh no, what am I doing?" _Castiel thought when his own eyes looked down the full bottom lip and fought the urge to drag his teeth across it and kiss him hard. His stomach lurched at the thought and before he even thought what he was doing, who was looking, and the consequences, Castiel leaned over pressing his lips against Dean's.

Dean drew back immediately with a gasp staring at him with horrified and appalled eyes.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Dean whispered outraged looking around the library thankful to see it empty and they were hidden in the corner. "Are you…Cas, what the hell was that? I am your teacher!"

Castiel touched his lips and recoiled back knocking over his chair.

"I am so sorry, oh my…I am so sorry, Dean, I don't know why I did that" he lied grabbing his stuff and sprinting out of the library, down the stairs and out of the front doors not looking back till he hit the path and collapsed against an oak tree trembling. His heart raced, his lungs burned, and his lips tingled under his fingertips. Castiel closed his eyes in horror, he had just kissed his teacher, his older teacher, his mature, supposedly straight teacher who he liked the thought of and enjoyed teasing.

Castiel covered his face slumping to the ground and burying his head in his hands in shame and disgust.

"I'm disgusting" he whispered shamefully burying his face into his knees letting out a small whimper.

**~0~**

Dean returned back to his classroom dumping the books and running a hand over his eyes and stubble feeling like the biggest fool to walk the planet. A week into this school he was already thinking inappropriate thoughts that would get him sent to jail about a student, leading said student to extra lessons and now letting him kiss him. Dean rubbed his lips together and dropped down on the seat fearing a big mess in front of him.

"Ignore him, ignore "it", and ignore everything. Nothing happened and everything is fine, life is just normal" Dean said out loud to no one and nodded. He could live with that, he could live with the fact that only after a week he was breaking the boundaries plus the rules.

A text message alerted him and he pulled it out to see one new message from Sam.

**Sam.**

**Hospital now! It's urgent, I think this is it, Dean.**

Dean dropped the phone, grabbing his car keys, and hurtling out of the door towards the hospital forgetting Castiel for that one moment. It was a tiny bit of relief. This school year was set to be the biggest mess of his life or maybe the greatest. Who knew?

**A/N: Two updates in one day! Aren't I nice to you all! **

**Anyone work out any of the secrets in the fic yet? Hehe!**

**Anyway, review please? They make me happy!**


	5. Chapter 5

The rush towards the hospital ended in disappointment and frustration when Sam met him in the entrance.

"False alarm, his fingers twitched but…nothing" Sam said with a sigh.

"Damn" Dean said rubbing a hand into his hair and moving up into his ward.

Two months ago, John Winchester was involved in a serious car accident leaving him in a coma. There was no sign of waking up and each day, Dean tried to visit but it was getting harder and harder. The doctors said he was brain dead and his chances of surviving this were decreasing.

Dean stepped in the room reaching his bed and sighing taking his hand in his.

"Why are not awake?" he whispered to his lifeless form breathing in and out of a tube.

"Maybe it's hopeless, Dean"

"Don't say that, Sam"

"Dean…"

"No! Listen to me, he'll make it, you know he will" Dean shouted turning to face him. "We give up on him; he'll give up on himself"

Sam opened his mouth to speak but kept it shut when Dean brushed past him and out of the door. He walked out of the hospital and slid into his car gripping the wheel with two tight fists staring forward. Dean closed his eyes moving his hand up to touch his lips and sighed deeply knowing how awkward and complicated this would now be.

It was nothing, a simple mistake, and that was something Dean would stick to.

**~0~**

That next morning, Castiel curled under the covers ignoring his alarm, ignoring Anna's constant threats that she will hurt him if he doesn't come down now. Anna threw open the door and stormed over to him.

"You're late! I am late, get up right now!"

"Anna, I am not going in today, I am ill" he said muffled under the covers.

Anna frowned pressing a cool hand to his forehead and neck. "Well…you are a little feverish but that could be from sleep and the covers"

"Anna! I am not going in!" he shouted up to her watching her flinch back and stare at him shocked.

"Okay, okay, I get it, Castiel, there is no need to shout at me. I'm going to work" she said turning her back when Castiel lifted his head up confused.

"When did you get a job?"

"I told you at the weekend! I am working in Wal-Mart"

"Classy" Castiel said with a snort.

"If you need me or Gabe, call us on our cells" Anna said ruffling his hair and walking out. Castiel sighed turning over and listening as she headed downstairs and out of the door, his stomach churned and he knew he couldn't possibly face Dean today. The embarrassment was still there.

Castiel couldn't doubt that Dean would want to talk about it, how wrong it was, how they couldn't do that again, but Castiel knew that and he couldn't quite grasp what made him lean in and kiss him. Castiel closed his eyes thinking about it and in those brief seconds he could feel the soft dryness of Dean's lips and he wondered what a deeper kiss would be like, to taste him, feel and taste his moans.

Castiel gasped opening his eyes and with a weak moan shook his head clambering out of the bed.

"No, no, no, I can't think that" he whispered clutching his hair. "He's my teacher…my gorgeous, desirable, and ass of a teacher but still"

Kicking the bathroom door open he stared hard at himself in the mirror. The tiredness he felt was clearly shown in his bags underneath his eyes and he groaned staring down at the sink before moving over to the bath and running the water. Sitting on the edge he watched and swirled the warm water with his fingers and sighed removing his shirt. Catching sight of himself in the mirror, his heart and stomach clenched at the sight of his chest. In the centre of his chest, pink, raw, lines symbolising a demon warding symbol had been carved into him with a sharp knife. He stared down at the marks and swallowed hard not wanting to think back to that day.

Sliding into the hot water he closed his eyes feeling the tears slip down his cheeks in hot streaks, how could he tell anyone about what happened to him? The only people who knew were his brother and sister, the police, and the doctor who treated him. It's one thing to wake up screaming in the middle of the night, sweating, crying, but also hearing the sounds of someone hovering outside the door afraid to come in was just too hard.

Castiel brushed away the tears staring up at the white ceiling and wondered if he could ever truly get over it. Time passed quickly and before he realised, the water had now gone lukewarm, his fingers wrinkled and his eyes sore from his tears.

Climbing out he wrapped himself in a big fluffy towel padding back to his bedroom and pulling his laptop onto his lap intending to spend the whole day doing nothing. His phone lay next to him and flashed with an unknown number, Castiel swallowed hard glancing at the time to see it was now 10.30am meaning it was break time in the school. The school didn't have his number, they had Gabriel's and Jo, Pamela and Ash had his number and he had there's.

With a resigned sigh he answered the phone and stilled hearing his voice.

"How did you get this number?"

**~0~**

Dean tapped impatiently staring at the big hand edging towards 10am for his history class with the 12th grade. He was desperate to see Cas, he needed to see he was okay and to sort this horrible mistake out. The bell rang and he waited with baited breath as his class filled up and he straightened up when everyone was seated apart from one.

"Does anyone know where Castiel is?" he called to the rest of the class.

"No idea! I keep calling him" Pamela said pulling out her phone and dialling his number in front of Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow at her and was about to let it slide when an idea came to him, a horrible idea.

His head screamed in protest to him but he ignored it. "Give that to me"

"What why?" Pamela said astonished as he snatched it off her.

"You know the rules, Pam, no phones" he said placing it on his desk.

"When the hell was that rule given?"

"Now" he snapped and stood up clapping his hands together. "Silence, let's begin"

Pamela glared at him crossing her arms and kicking back in her seat refusing to participate. Dean's eyes couldn't help but look towards the back to the one empty seat at the back and he never felt guiltier in his life. Castiel was off because of him and the guilt and shame ate away from him, but what Dean could not get his head was the fact a teenage boy who he had known less than a week had gotten underneath his skin.

When class finished and the students dismissed, Dean refused Pamela telling her to come back at the end of the day.

"You…dick!" she shouted before leaving the classroom. Dean scoffed and shook his head.

"Detention for Miss Barnes I think" he murmured shutting the door and pulling out her phone scrolling through the contacts. He saw Castiel's number and bit his lip taking out his own phone and dialling it. He waited for a few bells until he got what he wanted.

"Castiel, its Dean" he said gently.

"How did you get this number?" Castiel breathed in horror.

"I took Pamela's phone off her as she waved it around in class. Why are you not in school?"

"Why the hell are you calling me?" he snapped back pushing the laptop off and pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

"I am calling in concern, why are you not in?"

"I am ill" he muttered sheepishly sitting down and curling up against his headboard. "Why do you care, Dean?"

"Because we need to talk about what happened yesterday, Cas, I would rather do this face to face"

"About our kiss? Dean, there is no need to tell me it's wrong, it was a mistake, it was immoral of me because I already know that"

"I say this again, I would rather you come and see me so we can discuss it like adults. I want you to come into school"

"Can't, I'm sick" he murmured.

"Are you lying to me?" Dean murmured sternly sitting in his chair.

"Please stop trying to be the pushy teacher. I don't want to see you, Dean, I will come into school when I am fit and well" Castiel hissed down the phone.

"Castiel, you are acting like a child!"

"Fuck you" Castiel murmured hanging up and closing his eyes in horror.

Dean blanched and looked at his phone in equal horror before slamming it down annoyed and slightly angry. Biting down on his lip, Dean stood up and walked over to his window looking across the scenery and sighing. When did life get so complicated?

Castiel launched his phone across the room watching it smack the wall and fall to the ground, the back off and a scratch in the middle. He rolled his eyes moving downstairs and glancing at Gabriel's secret stash of booze. He wandered over picking up a bottle of vodka and opened it sniffing the contents; Castiel wrinkled his nose in disgust before sipping it and gagging at the taste. He had always hated vodka. Grabbing a beer he headed back upstairs and cracked it open drinking it back wondering if he could get drunk on a Tuesday morning.

Back in the school, Dean walked into the classroom to see Bobby sipping something in a silver flash.

"Bobby Singer, I am ashamed" Dean teased him sitting down opposite him.

"When you have to deal with juniors who think my math class is a class to piss around in, you try and not sip the black devil"

Dean smirked amused at the older man; he had known Bobby a long time and he looked at the man as a role model and a good friend.

"How's the missus?"

"Karen is doing great" he said with a small smile. "Keeps baking me pies"

"Really? Well send them my way, Bobby, I love pie"

Bobby snorted straightening his tie and jacket suit. "I have a class in ten, but I'll bare that in mind"

Dean grinned getting up and switching on the coffee machine feeling a headache coming on. He frowned at the fact they were so frequent these days and blamed the stress of this school. His mind flew back to Castiel and he groaned banging his fist on the counter hating his own mind.

"_Why can't I stop thinking about him for one minute?" _Dean thought miserably spooning sugar in his cup and pressing his fingertips against his eyes.

"Careful there, son, you'll poke those babies out and you need those to see these damn kids" Bobby said patting his shoulder as he walked out of the door. Dean snorted and nodded briefly to himself understanding what he meant. He dialled Sam's number and waited till he heard the click.

"Hey, Dean, just the guy I was looking to speak too"

"You have my undivided attention here, Sammy" Dean said sipping his coffee and sitting down on one of the chairs.

"I have done something quite stupid and you are going to hate me!" Sam said regret and worry in his tone.

"What have you done, Sam?"

"I kinda…set you up on a date with…Becky"

"Becky? Becky, who is obsessed with you and won't leave you alone, please tell me you are joking"

"She's changed, Dean, she's prettier, smarter, not creepy anymore and I got her to agree, Dean, she said she always liked you and she wants to get to know you better"

"What?" he shouted.

"Just…just think about it, Dean, please, for me?" he begged down the phone to him.

"I hate you so much" Dean hissed pinching his bridge hard enough to break a blood vessel.

"Thank you! Look, you won't regret it"

"I highly doubt that" Dean murmured feeling dread swamp over him and he nearly wept down the phone at the thought of dating Becky of all people.

**~0~**

That night when Dean was driving back home with pie and burgers in the passenger seat did he notice a familiar figure sitting in a park. The park was under a street light and he knew that figure and hint of a face.

"Cas?" Dean called parking up and stepping out to see him sitting on the swing swinging back and forth clutching a bottle in between his legs. "Cas, what the hell are you doing?"

Castiel squinted at him in the darkness and gasped stumbling forward. "Dean? Dean Winchester?"

"Cas, holy shit, are you drunk?" he whispered looking him up and down noticing the bottle of whiskey, the unstableness, the bleary eyes and the hum of whiskey surrounding him. "What the hell…"

"I thought…I thought it would be a really, really, really, great idea while my brother and sister are working late tonight and today that I would get drunk" Castiel said holding up the bottle. "Ding ding! I won"

Dean shook his head rubbing a hand over his stubble. "You are a mess, Cas, it's a school night"

"I don't care" Castiel said with a shrug. "Why…why are you even here?"

"I thought I could talk to you but I guess not, I refuse to speak like this" Dean said holding him steady. "You need to go home and sober up right now"

"Oh go away!" Castiel moaned attempting to shove him back only to fall in his arms and grin up at him. "Hey, green eyes, you are so pretty"

Dean frowned pushing him back and holding him steady. "Where do you live, Castiel?"

Castiel smirked amused and wavered holding up a finger at him. "Did you enjoy our kiss, Dean?"

"Cas, stop it" Dean warned when he fisted his t-shirt bringing him closer.

Despite Castiel's current state he could see the way Dean's breath hitched up and his pupils blow as he stared at him. Castiel traced a finger across his neck and let out a longing sigh.

"I need sleep" he murmured softly.

"Where do you live?"

"We've only known each other a week right?" Castiel said suddenly interrupting him and frustrating Dean.

"Technically yes"

"I bet you can't stop thinking about me" Castiel purred at him staring into his eyes. "Am I in your thoughts, sir?"

Dean ignored the shiver running down his spine as he took in their close proximity, the waves of heat coming off Castiel, and the lure of those blue eyes.

"You are very drunk, Cas, I need to get you home"

"I know where I live!" Castiel protested letting go of his t-shirt and moving around him. "I am fine getting home, I'll see you around…Dean"

"You will see me in school where we are going to talk about this behaviour!" Dean said astonished watching him walk away. Castiel stopped tipping the last of the whiskey in his mouth and throwing the bottle away stalking back to Dean. Dean stepped back when he entered his personal space.

"Good things do happen, Dean, and I know, I know that I am in that head of yours" Castiel slurred poking his forehead hard. "I was meant to come here, because everything happens for a reason and I was meant to be hurt"

Dean's brow furrowed and he shook his head confused. "Cas, what…"

"Night, night, Dean" Castiel murmured softly brushing his fingertips across his cheek. Dean stilled feeling a shiver of heat run through him and he could only watch under the lamp of the park as Castiel stumbled down the park and out heading towards his home.

Exhaling shakily he gripped the top of his hair and walked up and down the park in a pace ignoring the pooling heat in his traitorous cock and heart.

"What the hell am I going to do!" he hissed looking up at the starry sky which blinked at him and he sighed knowing there was no hope now. It was just a matter of time.

**A/N: Thank you for reviewing!**

**Keep them coming. **


	6. Chapter 6

His hands are bound behind his back and he can feel the wood of the chair digging into his back and arms, the tape around his wrists bounding his wrist tightly together is uncomfortable and Castiel has never been more terrified in his life.

"Please, please, don't do this" he whispered into the dark. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but you can't do this!"

Black tape is suddenly slapped across his mouth and he lets out a pained sob restricted from speech and movement. The air stirs around him as he breathes quickly, his watery eyes searching around for _him_ and he shouts muffled when he sees the kitchen knife.

"No, no, please!" he screams under the tape only to hear a dark chuckle and a blinding pain as he holds him down cutting into his chest.

"_You deserve this, we'll get it out, don't worry"_

Castiel opened his eyes in a panic screaming at the top of his voice as he kicked off his covers and fell to the floor in a sweaty mess. He sobbed into his hands feeling the cover fall on top of him and the door open to reveal Gabriel who rushed in.

"Cas?" he whispered staring down at him, tears in his own hazel eyes as he knelt down taking his little brother into his arms and holding him close as he sobbed hard into his shoulder.

Gabriel held Castiel till he slumped exhausted into his arms and pressed his lips to his forehead with a sigh.

"I'm so sorry, little bro" he whispered looking down at his tear streaked face and the too raw scars of the symbol. His stomach lurched in disgust and he held him closer never being so thankful to be out of Colorado. Placing him gently in the bed he brushed back his sweaty hair and sighed walking out of the bedroom and downstairs.

Anna was sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes red rimmed and her hands shaking.

"How is he?"

"Asleep now, why are you awake?"

"He woke up screaming and I panicked running downstairs" Anna whispered scrubbing away the falling tears. "If it's not his memories, it's now his dreams, Gabe, how are we supposed to cope with this?"

"The only way we can by supporting him, Anna, yesterday he was a hungover mess and didn't go to school again. He's broken, sis, and he needs us more than ever now because we are now all he has"

Anna nodded clasping her fragile hands together looking down at the table as Gabriel sighed getting up and running the water. It had been two months since the attack on Castiel and he still punished himself every day for not knowing, not getting there in time and not seeing _him _for who he really was deep down inside.

**~0~**

Castiel pulled on a black t-shirt and his hoodie feeling like death. With lack of sleep and the effects of his yesterday hangover still in affect he couldn't believe he was going into school. His stomach lurched at the thought of seeing Dean again and he could remember every little detail of his emotional drunken outburst.

Anna met him at the bottom of the stairs, her face tinged in worry and concern.

"Are you okay?"

Castiel nodded looking away from her and sighing. "I see you have hid away the alcohol"

"Reckless behaviour, Cas, drinking yourself to stupidity was a bad move" Anna warned pushing her bag strap up further onto her shoulder. "Come on"

Castiel followed after her closing his tired eyes as they drove to school and before he knew it he was there. It was a beautiful day for September, the morning sun high in the air creating a happy atmosphere for the students. Castiel found it disgusting.

"Try and have a good day" she said stroking a hand on his shoulder. Castiel flinched away and headed inside without a backward look heading towards his locker. He opened it up and shoved his bag inside closing his eyes longing for some asleep.

A loud cough disturbed him and he turned around to see the faces of his friends glaring at him.

"Jo, Pam, Ash, hello" he said nodding at them all closing his locker.

"I called you! Where the hell have you been?" Pamela shouted slapping his arm. He winced rubbing it and stepped back hitting the locker seeing no friendliness in all of their faces.

"You could have let us know, dude" Ash said with a knowing look in his eyes.

"I am so sorry, I was ill and I couldn't possibly come to school"

"Are you okay now?" Jo murmured eyes raking up and down his body.

"Yes, I'm quite well" he said with a smile. The three of them took it and immediately started updating him on what he had missed and Castiel was stunned. A simple "I'm quite well" and a fake smile solved everything, they didn't question it. A fake smile can hide so much.

With a free lesson in front of him due to a tutor being off ill as well, Castiel took off to the library tucking himself in the corner on a warm chair with a book. He sighed flicking through it feeling his eyes grow heavy slipping closed.

Dean collected the books in his arms with a smile at the student who batted her eyelashes at him with her own adoring smile for him. He took off and glanced around catching sight of Castiel asleep in the corner. His heart lurched and he stepped towards him and watched him curiously. Castiel was sleeping deeply, his cheeks faintly flushed and a curl of a hair falling on his forehead, Dean longed to brush it away.

He bit his lip dropping the books on the opposite chair and crouched down shaking his shoulder.

"Cas?" he murmured softly watching him stir to life and look straight at him confused. Dean smiled gently at him when he whined stretching out and looking around.

"I fell asleep"

"I know but I see you are in school again"

Castiel blinked at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry"

Dean sighed standing up and collecting his books. "I think we should talk properly, classroom in ten minutes?"

Castiel nodded quickly watching him leave and bit his lip hard. He grabbed his stuff and headed down there ducking his head so no one would look at him, he entered the room seeing Dean's back and swallowed hard shutting the door.

"I've wanted to speak to you for two days now"

"We have spoken…twice"

Dean rolled his eyes racing him, arms crossed against his chest in a defensive manner and a stoic face to match.

"Look, Dean, I am sorry for what I did in the library" he said not meeting his eyes. "It was foolish and I wasn't thinking properly, it was just the heat of the moment"

"It can never happen again, do you understand me?" Dean said in a serious tone. "I'm your teacher and we are just getting to know each other"

"I understand" Castiel murmured refusing to meet his eyes.

"I still want to help you, Cas"

"You can't help me" he whispered biting down on his lip and turning towards the door. "I don't think it's a good idea now…do you? I mean, I kissed you and things are awkward now, I…"

Castiel shrugged and opened the door. "I'll be alright, sir, I'll study hard"

"Before you go, the park"

"I was drunk, very drunk, everything I said was just babble and don't take it to heart, sir"

Dean nodded a little relief in his eyes that Castiel caught and he ignored the flicker of pain.

"But what was with the drinking? I never imagined you to do that, Cas"

Castiel snorted and shook his head. "Because you don't know me, sir, that's why"

Dean watched him leave and darted forward remembering a certain detail he mentioned to him in the park.

"You said to me that you were hurt so you could come here, what did you mean?"

"Nothing, I meant nothing, it was babble"

"You sounded genuine"

"So? I was drunk, sir…"

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that, Cas, I don't like it"

"You're my teacher!"

"You're my student but that doesn't stop me calling you by the name you want" Dean retaliated back.

Castiel fought back a smile and nodded. "Fine"

Dean moved his head to look into his eyes and captured the blue eyes with his own.

"I still want to help you with history, Cas, I don't want to sit back and watch you struggle when we can just move from this…mistake, and I can help you achieve the grade you want"

Castiel swallowed flicking his eyes away from him and shrugging. "I guess"

"Well, since our last one didn't end very well…I thought we could start over, in my classroom this time and we'll start tonight"

Castiel looked back at him sharply and nodded. "Okay"

Dean nodded feeling a sense of accomplishment and clapped his hands together.

"Perfect, well I will see you here at 3.15 for our lesson and this time there'll be no screw ups"

Castiel nodded and smiled weakly at him before taking his leave grinning to himself despite the situation, he didn't care, Dean did something to him and when he found that little bit of happiness, he clung to it.

**~0~**

"History!" Dean said throwing open the front cover when Castiel walked in at 3.15. Castiel frowned shutting the door and dropping his bag down.

"Tell me something I don't know"

"That's my intention is it not?" Dean murmured buzzing with happiness. Castiel rolled his eyes dropping down into the chair looking across at him.

"First things first, I hate history, Dean. I hated it in my last school, I hate it now but I guess I do like the person who teaches it" Castiel said straightening up.

Dean smiled weakly down at his neck not caring that he didn't but caring he used his name instead of dreary "sir" and nodded.

"Not a lot of people do but sometimes there can be something so fascinating about learning about the past, what shaped us today"

"I prefer to live in the present, who wants to live in the past?"

"Sometimes the past is good"

"Sometimes it's bad. What about Hitler?"

"He was an awful, cruel, malicious, murderer, he is the bad part of history but it does good to remember what he did to all those Jews"

"Why would you want to remember that? Wouldn't you want to remember the good parts of a past?"

Dean frowned looking him up and down before leaning forward and observing him. "Are we talking about our whole past or something else entirely that's a little close to home?"

"Our whole past" Castiel lied sending up his defensive stance.

Dean didn't believe him for one second as he placed both of his hands on the desk watching him and sighed.

"Sometimes it's good to remember your own past because it can't be changed and it's always there, but you can remember the good part and the bad parts and try to redeem yourself."

Castiel smirked amused shaking his head at him, Dean's eyes lit up in confusion.

"Dean, if I asked you right now to tell me everything from your past, the good and the bad, would you?"

Dean stared at him for a long second before nodding once. Castiel laughed clutching his chest very amused by this and shook a hand.

"You wouldn't! You'd lie or you would make something up but there is no way you would tell me everything to last detail like in these books about your past" Castiel said pulling it towards him. "How did you know that these people here wanted everyone in the world to know about their past…Hitler, JFK, soldiers in the war who died for nothing, surrogates who gave everything for a vote and freedom"

Dean swallowed watching him entranced and couldn't help but listen to him speak so softly.

"They wouldn't want everyone to know…because no one in this school would or anyone out there to spill their guts and say, "This is my history!" because who wants to live in a world like that"

"Do you have a history?"

"Doesn't everyone?" he whispered looking up at him. "There is no point in me learning all this stuff! I'm in 12th grade and I won't need this"

"How do you know?"

"Does a doctor need to learn about Hitler?" Castiel questioned with a tilt to his head watching Dean's eyes lighten up.

"You want to be a doctor?"

"I want to help people, I want to save people's lives and repair them"

"That takes 11 years, so I guess you're going to medical school?"

"Yes, I am doing very well in biology and chemistry, I am doing in good in math and English as well but this…this I don't need" he whispered shoving the book back.

"But wouldn't you want to go to medical school with amazing grades? Imagine that little fail, Cas, that little fail next to history because you were so determined not to let me help and learn"

Castiel smiled at him and lifted his head up to look at the ceiling.

"You are a very persistent, Dean Winchester"

Dean shuddered at the mention of his full name and shrugged.

"I know when I am needed and I am here 24/7"

"I am glad to hear that, Dean" Castiel murmured with a small smile looking in his eyes. They remained like that just staring at each other till a sound of someone running down the corridor startled them and they turned to the door.

Dean laughed shakily and nodded. "Shall we begin?"

"I guess so"

They managed to last a whole hour with Dean talking and explaining to him about the cold war while Castiel jotted down notes the best he could.

"When should we meet again?" Dean asked him hand folded on the desk.

"I get to choose?"

"Of course" Dean replied up to him.

"Tomorrow, I would like to do this as much as possible, Dean, you would be glad to know that I enjoy your company"

"I think I know that" Dean joked with a jerk of head. Castiel smirked going to collect his bag and turning back to him.

"I also like getting to know you as well; it's nice having someone to talk too"

"I know the feeling" Dean said slowly looking over to him and giving Castiel the favourite smile. Castiel's heart fluttered and he nodded blushing at the floor.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dean, maybe we can bring the past up again? If you show me yours, I'll show you mine"

"I thought we already looked into the past" Dean said trying to act innocent.

"Sometimes you have to look deeper, harder, and I think you have a past"

"So do you" Dean snapped back at him.

Castiel gave a half smile in his direction shrugging his shoulders up and down.

"Maybe…or maybe not, but I know one thing, one thing for certain"

"Yes?" Dean murmured curiously.

"I was right about what I said in the park, I'm in that head… and I'm not coming out" Castiel said with a wicked grin opening the door and walking out. Dean exhaled shakily slamming the front cover down with a smack staring into nothing.

If there was one thing Dean needed right now, it was a stiff drink, headache tablets, sleep, and most of all, sex. He needed that release and to forgot for one moment of that damn student. Dean mentally cursed the day; Castiel walked through the door into his classroom and wondered how good his self-control was really? Dean _knew _how he felt now, there was no stopping it, but how could you resist a meal if it was presented to you when you were starving hungry. It would take a lot of self-control he didn't know he had but throughout that whole lesson, their talk, their arguing, their stares, he knew he was falling under fast.

Grabbing his car keys, bag, and jacket, Dean headed out of the school and towards his precious Impala heading towards a cold beer in a bar in town, hopefully a hot guy or woman to satisfy that need. He opened the car door and looked up when something caught his vision and met blue eyes staring at him in the distance.

Castiel still held that self-satisfying smile but there was something hidden in those eyes, something Dean knew he was hiding and knew it wasn't good. There was a reason why Castiel had got drunk in that park, talked about his past like it was the most terrible thing in the world and he was damn curious.

He slid into his baby and started her up ignoring him now and driving into town. Castiel watched after him and sighed looking down at the muddy ground not quite knowing what he was doing but it felt right, it felt good, and there was no way in hell he was stopping now.

**A/N: Your response for this has been awesome! You guys seem to really like it, and I love that! **

**I will let you know what happened to Castiel but not now…**

**Enjoy! Feedback would be really helpful.**


	7. Chapter 7

Dean drove back home dressing into comfortable, smarter, clothes and set off to find a bar, a person, and booze. His mind wouldn't stop whirring as he entered a local bar in town already filled with people at 8pm. He ordered a whiskey on the rocks feeling miserable as he sipped it glancing up at the barkeeper and blinking in surprise. Dean looked him up and down seeing darkish brown hair, big brown eyes, and a cheeky grin.

"Enjoying your drink?" the bartender said leaning across the bar grinning at him. Dean hummed tipping it back and swallowing it down feeling his eyes watching him.

"Yeah, one more" he murmured pushing it towards him.

"I'm Jake" he said pushing it over towards him with a grin. Dean took it raising it in a salute and drinking it down.

"Dean"

"So what are you doing here on a fine Wednesday evening?"

"Looking for a stiff drink, alone time for now and maybe a little company" Dean hinted with a raised eyebrow. Jake nodded slowly undressing him with his eyes.

"That could be arranged" he said with a wink walking away to serve another customer. Dean smirked downing the last of his drink and watched him from the corner of the bar. Dean admired his ass in his blue jeans and bit his lip. He was nice looking, clearly experienced, and now giving a hint of a promise.

But that didn't stop his mind drifting away to Castiel and comparing the difference. He shook his head mentally hating himself for imagining for one moment what Castiel would look like in his arms, flushed, moaning his name ardently, legs spread wide just for him, desperate moans and the feeling of being filled. Dean ground his teeth together slamming a fist on the bar feeling more than disgusted in himself for thinking those vulgar thoughts about his own student.

Jake noticed his distress and wandered over nodding to his friend and other barmaid, Claire, to sort the customers out.

"Whoa there cowboy, you are looking like you are ten seconds from killing someone or hurting yourself" Jake said sliding him another drink.

"Something like that" Dean said dryly.

"Listen, if you are still here at 11, that's when I get off and maybe I can put a smile on that gorgeous face"

"I have work tomorrow"

"So do I! But when has that stopped anyone from having a little fun?" Jake purred eyes raking across his face again.

Dean smiled weakly nodding once and scanning around the bar with a sigh. Dean got his wish hours later; he was drunk, horny, and visibly eyeing Jake up as he sauntered up and down the bar.

"It's 11" Dean said poking his finger at him. Jake took into his mouth sucking along the digit gently and smiling when Dean hummed tilting his head at him.

"I can do that in a more intimate place if you want" he whispered hovering his mouth over his and smiling. Dean smirked bringing him into a heated kiss pushing his tongue into his mouth, Jake responding immediately as he kissed him back more than experienced. Dean knew he probably did this every single night, preying on the men in the bar desperate for a bit of action.

"Let's go out back" Jake whispered gripping his jacket and dragging him outside into the cold air. Dean stumbled after him following him into the alleyway letting him claim his mouth all over again and he moaned when Jake's hands slip into his jeans, unzipping his fly open and wrapping a cold hand around his cock. Dean gasped bucking into his mouth and moaned letting his head fall back against the brick wall.

"You are gorgeous" Jake whispered into his throat rubbing a thumb over the slit looking up when Dean groaned letting his head fall. Jake dropped down to his knees taking it out of jeans and closing his mouth over the head. Dean gasped fisting his hand into his hair and looking down with bleary eyes, in the light his hair looked black and he squeezed his eyes shut letting his memory flood through him.

Dean knew he didn't want this, he would rather have someone with blue eyes that drove him crazy to the point he was asking strangers to blow him in back alleys. Dean shook his head and shoved him away with a moan.

Jake stumbled back with a gasp exposing his cock to the cold air, Dean tucked it away turning against the wall banging his head against it and hissing at the pain exploding there.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

Jake stood up glaring at him when Dean moaned weakly whacking his head on the wall grazing it.

"Stop it, you crazy fool" he muttered pulling him back. "What's up with you?"

"It's this…guy" he whispered with a swallow. "I can't get him out of my head; I was imaging him instead of you"

"Ouch, well that's one way to damage a guy's self-esteem"

"I'm sorry" he whispered. "It's just…I've only known him a short time and he's got underneath my skin but it's wrong, it's so wrong"

"Sounds like lust" Jake said folding his arms over. "I say go for it, go get him"

"I can't" Dean moaned weakly touching his forehead and seeing blood. "He's gorgeous, he's sexy, he's funny but he's also really troubled and I can't…"

"Out of your league?"

"No, no, no, it's not like that" Dean said leaning against the wall looking pained. "I physically can't…you have no idea how fucked up I am"

"Well…you have just shoved a willing man and missed your chance to have an orgasm"

Dean snorted running a hand through his hair. "I'm going home"

"You can't drive, man"

"I can do whatever I want"

"Dean, I know I don't know you and you don't know me but in all seriousness here, you cannot drive like this" Jake warned pulling out his phone. "I'll call you cab"

"No! I can't, I have work tomorrow which I need to drive too" he whispered clutching his hair. "I didn't think this through"

"Book into a motel across the road and wake up early to drive there" Jake suggested pointing over to it. "I'll help you"

Dean sighed letting him lead as Jake booked him into a motel room and gently lay him down on the bed shaking his head.

"I seriously did not expect this to happen at all"

"Me neither, I blame me, I blame him, I blame my stupid cock, my stupid heart and my stupid self"

Jake laughed delicately and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You keep saying you can't…but you only live once right? I live by that because there's no point questioning something…just do it!"

"You make it sound so easy" Dean muttered climbing under the covers hiding from him.

"Because it is, you want him, Dean, you get him. Damn the consequences, if he makes you feel this way then you have to try" Jake said opening the door. "Try not and choke on your own vomit and it was nice meeting you"

Dean heard the slam of the door and moaned laying his head on the cushion inhaling the stale smell of cigarettes and fabric softener. He moaned weakly feeling nausea and reached out across the bed seeking comfort that wasn't there and whined pitifully.

Jake's words whirled around his head and he moaned knowing he was right, you only live once, you should live every day like it's your last but when you are two weeks into September and only knowing the student for that long it was a little troubling.

~0~

Castiel woke up tear free and relief that he had no dream last night, a first in a while. He moaned looking out of the window to see it dull and windy blowing the autumn leaves around the yard.

"Cas! Breakfast is on the table" Anna shouted up the stairs.

"Not hungry!" he shouted back quickly dressing in a warm jumper and tight jeans knowing it showed off his ass pretty well. He bounded down the stairs catching the eye of a stunned Anna.

"Why are you in such a good mood?"

"I had no nightmares"

Anna sighed in relief pulling him into a tight hug inhaling deeply.

"Oh that is so good!" she said squeezing the breath out of him.

"Yeah" he murmured letting go of her and stepping back.

"But you should eat, Castiel, you are so thin"

"I think the word is lean, Anna, and I like my size…I can do bendy things" he said with an innocent smile. Anna stared at him before letting out a loud laugh covering her mouth.

"I have such a dirty mind" she murmured shoving him away while he grimaced.

"I'm your brother, be ashamed"

"I am! But it was the way you said it, I shall take that bendy quote and use it for…you can pick up stuff other people can't"

Castiel frowned flicking tap water at her as he got a drink. "You are so weird"

"Takes one to know one, darling"

"I keep missing, Gabriel"

"He leaves about seven in the morning" Anna said with a sigh. "He's struggling but coping"

"Why?"

"Come on, Cas, you know why"

Castiel swallowed and ran a hand into his hair making it stand up. "I know, I feel like I'm to…"

"No, don't you dare blame yourself!" Anna warned standing in front of him. "We do not blame you, we will never blame you, what he did is…unspeakable and I am ashamed to know him"

"Anna…" he whispered starting to protest when she held up a hand.

"No, go get your bag" she ordered watching him walk out of the room with a resigned sigh and stomp up the stairs. Anna rubbed her own forehead feeling a little queasy and grabbed Castiel's remaining water drinking it down and sighing.

"Come on, we're going to be late!" she shouted walking out and climbing into the 4x4. Castiel closed and locked the front door before hopping in and giving her a small smile.

"I am glad you are happy" Anna said as they drove to school. "I miss my happy little brother, you know, you should start writing again"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because you loved it"

"No, he loved it, he wanted me to write, and I don't anymore" he said stiffly climbing out of the car and walking away from her concerned expression as she drove away from the school for another meaningless day at work.

"Hey!" Jo said running over and greeting him. "I need you to do me the biggest favour ever!"

"What?"

"Well next month is October and we are planning to have a massive Halloween party! We have a committee and I am joint leader but I need helpers" she said putting her hands together begging him.

"Sure" he murmured with a soft smile jumping back a little when she squealed and clapped her hands.

"Brilliant! Well I shall inform you of the meetings" she said hugging him briefly and running off.

Castiel watched after her bemused as he headed to history and peered inside to see Dean leaning onto his desk looking truly awful. He knocked timidly and walked in gazing over to him in concern.

"Dean?"

Dean simply groaned standing up and drinking back the water. "Yes, Cas?"

"You look awful" Castiel murmured giving him the once over and shaking his head. "Hangover?

"Yes" Dean murmured looking out of the window. "Drunk too much, kissed a guy I barely know, and spent the night in a disgusting motel room"

"You kissed a guy?" Castiel whispered horrified stepping towards him and peering up at him. "You cut your head"

Dean could only watch as he reached up touching the cut and stroking it softly, Castiel stared into his eyes and swallowed. Dean grabbed his wrist removing it from his face and nodded.

"I smacked it on the wall" he murmured staring into his eyes.

"It looks sore" he whispered reaching up again stroking it soothingly. Dean bit his lip closing his eyes against the shiver running down his spine and he nodded clinging to his bony wrist.

"I smashed it quite hard when I was in conflict"

"Over what?"

"It doesn't matter" Dean whispered looking away towards the window.

Castiel inhaled the sharp smell of his aftershave, soap and fresh clothes feeling his stomach flip as Dean turned back to look at him. The close proximity was overwhelming for Dean who stepped back and shook his head.

"What do you want?"

"To see you" he murmured softly with a shrug.

"Cas…you have to stop this" he whispered.

"Stop what?"

"This" Dean hissed stepping forward. "This…thing between us you are amplifying with your teasing and flirting"

"How is this teasing and flirting? I came to see you" Castiel said confused.

"Yes! It's bad, Cas, you know it is, you know what is happening here…you kissed me"

"It was a mistake"

"I know it was but…" Dean trailed off biting his lip softly, Castiel following the action. "Am I imaging it?"

"I don't know"

Dean turned his back on him raking his hands into his hair agonised.

"I have no fucking idea what is going on here! Not one clue! I have barely known you two weeks, Cas, and I am going insane. You've done something to me and I don't know what the fuck it is, it scares me to death" Dean ranted staring at the chalk board. "Last night confirmed that…it needs to stop, it all needs to stop"

"What are you trying to say?" Castiel murmured.

"That you're right, Cas, you hate this lesson and I have had a massive change of heart" Dean said turning around to face him. "I think you should drop out and move into a new class"

"What?" Castiel said breathlessly. "I might now want to do that now"

"Exactly! That's why you have to, Cas, because this is so wrong!"

Castiel gritted his teeth clenching his fist into a tight ball and nodded. "Giving up on me and chucking me out of the class is all because of a weird connection between us?"

"Yes" Dean said with a stiff nod. "It's the right thing to do"

Castiel stepped towards him staring up at the stubborn green eyes and tilted his head in a questioning way that made Dean think of a quizzical puppy.

"Fine, I'll quit, I'll leave the lesson and you'll hardly see me again" Castiel said slowly. "But can you really stay away? Because I understand what you mean, Dean, there is some strange connection between us…a bond, I have only known you for about two weeks and already I am imagining stuff"

An inappropriate image Dean imagined of Castiel flew to his mind and he stepped back feeling the back of his knees hit the desk with a loud thump.

"I'm not coming out of that head and I must say it disappoints me I won't get to see and spend time with you, you are good company, a voice to listen to and hear me as well" Castiel said fidgeting nervously. "It sucks to let that go"

"It's for the best"

"The best for who?" Castiel hissed at the ground.

"For us!"

"We have no idea what's going on here, Dean, it could be amazing" Castiel said walking into his personal space knocking Dean into sitting down on the desk. He looked behind him and stifled a moan in the back of his throat holding his hands up shaking his head quickly.

"No, stop this right now" he warned.

Castiel's eyes looked over his face touching his scared and slightly apprehensive eyes down to the plump rosy lips to the freckles dusting his face. A nerve twitched in Dean's jaw but he couldn't tear his eyes away from him and hesitated when Castiel traced a finger across his bottom lip.

"Do you think about it, Dean? I do, I can't stop thinking about you" Castiel whispered with a small smile ghosting his lips over his cheek feeling his own heart thunder in his chest at alarming speed. His mind went into overdrive at what he was doing and the protests were loud and screaming in his mind.

Dean panicked pulling his face away from him looking towards the window. "Cas, stop it right now. Anyone can walk in and if someone does, I'll be fired, arrested, thrown in a mental hospital"

"I'll just tell them I like your cologne" Castiel teased moving his fingertips off him and smirking at him. "You can't resist"

"Want to bet?" Dean said in a warning tone.

Castiel chuckled and shrugged at him. "Try it"

"This is wrong" Dean whispered pained to himself covering his eyes.

"What's wrong? I mean what is the definition of "wrong" these days because I think when two people who are still getting to know each other feel like this…well it's hardly wrong"

Dean exhaled stubbornly shaking his head and stared him in the eye. "I'll contact the head office and tell them you have quit my lesson and rather take something else"

"You do that…while I'll count the days to see how long you can resist me for?"

Dean gritted his teeth glaring at him with cold green eyes. "You are going to have a very long wait"

"I don't think I will, Dean, I mean look at us" Castiel murmured watching Dean look between them and the close touch of their bodies. "You know what this is…"

"Yeah, it's wrong on so many levels, Cas, you know it is"

Castiel grinned fighting back a chuckle feeling lighter, whole, and his cheeky side coming to life as stuck his hands on Dean's shoulders. Dean drew back startled and watched him with wary eyes.

"Are you a good boy, Dean?" he whispered.

Dean inhaled setting his jaw and pointed towards the door. "Leave my classroom, Cas, I'll speak to you for further updates on a new class"

"I take that as a…no" he whispered and stood back. "I'll count the days, Dean, you know I will"

Castiel walked to the door and opened it up to see no one on the corridor still and looked back to Dean who was still sitting on his desk looking flushed and pissed off.

"11 days it has took to get underneath your skin, Dean, how much further did you get reckon I get before you snap?" he said with his tilted head and raised eyebrow.

"Get out"

"I reckon deeper" Castiel murmured with sly smirk walking out and shutting the door leaving Dean alone in his room wanton and supporting a traitorous hard on.

"Fuck!" Dean shouted to no one in particular and kicked at the table. Was this for the best?

**A/N: Enjoy!**


	8. Chapter 8

It hit the weekend and Castiel was more than relieved. He grabbed his phone when a text came through and smiled at the words.

**Jo.**

**Mine tonight? I think we all need a drink.**

Castiel sent back a quick reply and smiled getting dressed. The past two weeks for Castiel had been dreadful but also a lot of fun. They moved him out of history and into extra chemistry and biology lessons at his request. Since then he had seen Dean less and the only time he did see him was when he was helping Coach Gallagher in fitness lessons. During those, Dean couldn't take his eyes off him no matter how much he tried and Castiel relished it. When walking down the hall he would see him and Dean would look away, turn back, or stare blankly ahead like Castiel didn't exist.

But, Castiel was having his fun with it, brushing past him so they touched, fixing him with hard stares and seeing how he just couldn't look away. It was October now, a whole month since Castiel had joined Cardozo High School and the sooner it got even better, the better it would be able to deal with it all.

He bid Anna goodbye as she shouted out to him to not be too late. Castiel rolled his eyes heading down his street towards Jo's listening to his music and knocking on her front door.

Pamela opened the door with a big grin. "It's about time!"

"Missing the fun?" he said stepping inside and taking the beer she handed to him. "Ash is showing us his new game, I may die"

"One you play on a TV?"

"Yes, oh kill me now" she murmured wandering into the living room.

"Hey, you made it!" Jo said with a small smile.

"Brilliant! You're here, here you can be player two" he said with a wink throwing him the controller. "I am always player one"

Castiel blinked and nodded sitting down on the cushion facing the television and seeing army men, zombies, and a lot of blood.

"Why are we best friends with guys" Pamela said to Jo as they sat on the loveseat. Castiel started at the word, "best friends" he had never really had a best friend before and now he had three?

"Because you would be dead by now" Jo said with a playful smirk when Pamela shoved her.

"Thanks!"

The games ended quickly when Pamela demanded they play spin the bottle.

"You two are so childish" Ash said with a shake of his head when Jo set her empty bottle on the floor.

"My mom is working late and you two are boring us with that game"

"Because you don't know how to play" he teased her.

"Shut up, Ash" Jo replied kicking him and spinning it and it automatically landed on Castiel.

"Truth or dare?" she whispered with a cunning look in her eye.

"Truth"

"Do you like anyone in our school?"

Castiel snorted and bit his lip looking at the floor before nodding. "Yes"

Pamela gasped leaning forward. "Who? Is it a boy? Oh my god!"

Castiel narrowed his eyes leaning forward and spinning the bottle till it landed on Ash who grimaced.

"Truth or dare?"

"Let's be wild, dare" he murmured stretching out his legs.

"I'll let Pamela choose this one" he said looking over to her.

Pamela grinned clapping her hands and pointed them at Ash. "I saw this on YouTube; I dare you to do the cinnamon challenge"

"Whoa! I've seen those as well, they can't do it" Ash protested when Jo got up running to her kitchen.

"Don't be such a little girl, Ash, see if you can beat them" Pamela said dragging them up and towards the kitchen. Castiel followed feeling a brush of amusement as he watched from the door to see Jo handing him a teaspoon of cinnamon.

"Three, two, one" Jo said and stepped back when he swallowed it. Castiel covered his mouth hiding his laughter watching when a spray of ginger dust flew out of a gagging Ash as he stumbled hitting the counter desperate for water.

Pamela screamed with laughter being held up by a giggling Jo as they watched Ash retch and spit into the sink.

"Oh my mouth!" Ash said gargling water and bowing his head. "It feels like it's been burned"

"Oh my god!" Pamela wheezed wiping a tear away and standing next to him. "You won, that was hilarious"

"Bitch" he snarled at her drinking back the water and spitting it out with a gasp.

"I need more alcohol" Pamela said grabbing the vodka and returning to the living room.

Castiel looked over to Jo who came up to him looking him up and down quizzical. "This person you like, do we know him?"

"Yes" he said with a simple nod and she could see he wasn't about to divulge any further. Jo sighed with a shrug following Pamela back into the living room who decided to play music. Castiel leaned against the wall, arms crossed; head tilted back wondering where Dean could be right now.

**~0~**

Dean smiled when Jess sat next to him handing him a drink. "Tell me again why you refused to go out with Becky?"

"Oh I don't know, you tell me" he said with a raised eyebrow when she laughed and nodded.

"Okay, I understand that! But she's quite sweet"

"She's obsessed with my brother and your husband" Dean murmured. "Anyway, I can't"

"Why not? Sam is worried about you, so am I!"

"You don't have to be! Since Daniel was born you two have been on my case to find someone, maybe I don't want anyone"

"Everyone needs someone"

Dean looked away and down to his drink sipping it gently and hating that she was right. Dean hated the cold space in his bed, the warmth of a body; he missed sex more than anything and hated the fact he couldn't because when he attempted, he thought of him.

Now that Castiel was out of his lessons, it made it a lot easier to concentrate but it pained him to admit it but he missed his presence. But it was filled by the fact he seen him on the field, in the corridor and with his little gang. The stares were overwhelming and his desire to shove him hard up against a wall and taste him was becoming too much.

"I'm okay" he murmured. "Where's Sam?"

"Upstairs with Daniel, he's restless" she said with a sigh. "He's giving me a break"

"Just like his dad then"

"No, more like me" she with a tired laugh. "Are you sure you are going to be okay? I can set you up again"

"Oh god no, please, I'm okay" he reassured setting down his drink and standing up. "I think I need a shower, food, and sleep"

"Okay, well come around tomorrow if you want"

"Sure" Dean said with a tight smile walking out and getting into his car. The drive home was quiet as he reached his apartment and opened the door. He stepped inside his silent apartment and sighed dropping his keys in the bowl and shrugging out of his jacket. Dean pulled open his fridge pulling out another beer intending to get very drunk when his phone beeped loudly and demanding in his jeans pocket. He pulled it out with a frown.

**C.**

**I saved this number, I bet you have too. Giving in yet?**

Dean felt his mouth drop open as he stared at the message. Dean did save the number, of course he saved it, but he never expected to use it.

He texted back a quick, "No", and threw his phone down in horror. It seemed like seconds later his phone beeped again and he picked it up eagerly.

**C.**

**Liar. 2 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, Dean. How long do we have to wait?**

**Reply.**

**Forever, leave me alone, Cas.**

Back in Jo's living room ignoring his friends in favour of his phone and a whim text he grinned sending one back.

**C.**

**No, I'm counting every day. I know you will give in and I am guessing soon…maybe Halloween? I know you are going to the school party, Dean.**

**Reply.**

**You are wrong, Cas! Stop this, delete my number, and leave me alone with your childish games.**

Dean exhaled sitting down on his couch and swallowed hard staring down at his phone waiting for the reply. It seemed like forever and disappointment settled in that Castiel had actually listened to him for once when it buzzed again ten minutes later.

**C.**

**Halloween. Let's see how good your self-control is, Dean. You overcome it, I'll leave this all alone but aren't you curious? I am.**

**Reply.**

**Stop this. Please.**

**C.**

**Are you a good boy, Dean? Or a bad boy? Let's see you lose control.**

Dean moaned into his hand throwing his phone away and buried his face into the pillow feeling his cock twitch in interest. If Castiel carried on like this he knew he was well and truly fucked for good, he would take over completely and Dean didn't know if he could control it. He was starving and it was like a meal of burgers, fries, and pie with a whiskey was being held out to him eagerly. Who could resist that?

**~0~**

October 31st. Dean woke up that morning and swallowed hard hating this day more than anything. It was a Friday and the high school party was being planned all day so no lessons for the students who were decorating the hall for the party they had been planning since September. Dean sat up in bed and gritted his teeth determined. Since that day two weeks ago when Castiel randomly started texting him, he didn't stop. Castiel texted him every day, every night, in school hours and Dean tried his very, very, best to ignore him the best he could. It didn't help in the slightest that Dean was roped into helping with the party, Castiel in the committee with Jo where he saw him all the time. The snide comments, the looks, the caresses down his back, his arm, and hand were unbelievable and he pushed him away the best he could.

But the problem was for Dean, the more he pushed away at Castiel, the more he seemed to get the hint and back off a little. Dean wasn't sure if he wanted that.

Today was the day Castiel said he would test him to his limits but Dean's limits were fried. Dean had found comfort in the internet searching for porn; his right hand came into a lot of use now he had given up completely on finding anyone that met his needs. Sam was now even more concerned about his oldest brother and the fact that even after a month their father was no better was concern for his wellbeing.

Dean brushed a toothbrush through his teeth and stared hard at himself in the mirror.

"You do this, he leaves you alone" he said to no one and spit in the sink straightening up.

He dressed quickly and sighed running a hand into his hair and nodded walking out.

Castiel walked down the stairs rubbing at his chest and wincing at the dull pain there. Gabriel looked up at him and frowned noticing the pain laced into his features.

"How are you feeling?"

"I have had like four hours sleep, Gabriel"

"Maybe we should get you to doctors"

"Anna already suggested that and I am not going on pills, Gabriel, this is my own nightmare and I have to overcome it"

"It's been months, Cas, I wake up every night hearing you scream into the night knowing what he did to you…how am I supposed to stand back and watch you deal with it?"

"Because you're my big brother, Gabe, and you've been amazing throughout this all and I will never, ever, forget what you did for me. You saved me and I love you but this is my war, my battle and I am just thankful you and Anna are still here"

"We'd never leave, Cas" he murmured stepping towards him and hugging him tight.

"I know" Castiel whispered hugging him back and letting go. "It's Halloween, what are you doing tonight?"

"Going out with friends from work, eating candy, and getting so drunk" Gabriel said with a grin standing back. "Anna will be out as well, you going to that lame school party?"

"It might not be lame" Castiel said with a smirk.

"What are you going as?"

"Devil" Castiel murmured with a soft amused smile. Gabriel laughed shoving his shoulder.

"Real cute, Cas, hoping to pull someone with that act?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Only suggesting" Gabriel protested holding up his hands and moving into the kitchen.

Castiel pulled on his jacket and picked up his bag moving out of the front door and walking towards school. Castiel thought of everything as he strolled down the street, his nightmares were getting worse and worse and he was so tired of waking up screaming for help, and he was also sick of wanting Dean. He had never wanted someone so bad in his life and a whole month had flown by waiting, provoking, flirting, teasing, and nothing. Dean was stubborn.

Castiel kicked a stone wondering if his actions were futile and he was clinging on to false hope. Dean was his teacher, it was wrong, it was against the law, and the age gap was quite large but who cared? Castiel certainly didn't.

He arrived at the school and headed inside to see Jo strolling around the hall ordering students with banners; lighting, drinks, food and she look so stressed.

"Jo?" he called to her and smiled when she turned towards him frustrated.

"Oh it's you! Thank god, Cas, I need help. I feel like my head is about to explode and Lilith is nowhere to be seen!"

"I'll help" he murmured looking up and immediately seeing him talking to Bobby Singer in the corner of the room. He watched as Dean laughed at something Bobby said and nod in confirmation to whatever he said. Castiel bit his lip glancing to Jo who was ordering him to stick balloons in the corridor.

"Yes, ma'am" he whispered with a salute looking up to see Dean watching him and smirked turning his back on him and out into the corridor.

He stuck them up and down the corridor leading to the main hall and turned when he seen someone step behind him.

"Dean" he said in greeting turning out. "You ignored my text last night"

"I told you over and over again to stop"

"I know" Castiel said sticking one to a locker and shrugging. "I am sorry"

"No you're not, not in the slightest" Dean said with a scoff. "I want you to leave me alone tonight"

"Why are you trying so hard, Dean?"

"Because it is the right to do"

"Who cares about the rules, Dean? You know rules are meant to be broken" Castiel purred turning and moving into his personal space.

"Personal space, Cas" he warned moving him back. Castiel took his hand and moved it away moving into it again looking into the green abyss of his eyes.

"Rules are made to be broken, we set the rules, not them" he whispered his mouth inches away from Dean's. Castiel could feel every warm puff on his lips while Dean breathed heavily turning his cheek to look towards the doors.

"No one is coming" he whispered grazing his mouth across the warm skin feeling Dean jump and step back.

"No" he growled moving backwards and almost running out of the corridor. Castiel sighed leaning against the locker and kicking the back of it hard with his foot. But if Dean was stubborn, so was Castiel, he wouldn't give up without a proper fight.

**~0~**

8pm arrived and Halloween night kicked off. Castiel had returned home and came back wearing his best black jeans, tight fitting black t-shirt covered with a borrowed red cape and little devil horns on his head.

"You sexy devil, Castiel" Pamela cried hitting him on the shoulder as he appraised her naughty nurse outfit.

"I am a sadistic nurse" she commented spinning around. "I added blood for a scary effect"

"Oh"

"Ash is a werewolf and Jo is a classic witch, but sexier" she said pulling him into the party blaring music and the other students all dressed up. Castiel scanned a look around when they entered the hall but seen no sign of Dean and his stomach churned with fear. What if he pulled out? He found Jo in the corner sipping her drink in a cup looking nervous but very pretty in her costume.

"Everything is amazing, Jo!" he whispered into her ear and she gasped in relief hugging him.

"So far and the DJ is good and people are actually dancing already, Lilith pulled out from being too ill"

Castiel nodded scanning the ground again and sighing when he couldn't locate him. he moved over to the table picking up a drink and inhaled sharply when he seen him near the speaker looking over the crowd in the dance floor.

Being cunning, Castiel slipped through the crowd and came up behind him hidden from view when he poked him in his lower back. Dean jumped out of his skin turning around startled and inhaled looking him up and down.

"Oh hell" he whispered taking him in and Castiel chuckled low.

"Hello, Dean"

"Oh…shit" he moaned looking away feeling his stomach tighten in desire. Castiel had never looked so good and even dressed up in silly costume.

Castiel hummed sipping his drink and shrugging. "This is a success, we should be proud"

"Yeah" he murmured looking away towards the other students having a good time ignoring them completely. Castiel glanced over to see Pamela currently chatting up a boy dressed as a vampire.

"So, how are you feeling, Dean?"

"Leave me alone" he hissed.

"You say that a lot, Dean, but your eyes say another story and right now…they are speaking a novel of how much you want me" he cooed tilting his head, his eyes flaring blue.

Dean gasped needing air, space, time to breathe, and anything to get away from him. Dean moved away from him running out of the hall and down the corridor towards his classroom. He hastily unlocked it and stepped into the cold air of the classroom breathing hard and deep looking around in the darkness. A little light came in from the light outside and in the corridor.

Castiel followed after him and peered inside to see the outline of his back facing the window. Castiel stepped inside closing the door behind him and waited.

"A whole month Dean, 31 days and is it any easier?"

"Cas…"

"No, I think it hasn't and I know because I speak from my own experience and I think…" Castiel whispered moving up to him and standing behind him. "I'm right about everything"

"There is something there, Dean; it's been there since the beginning. The texts, the lessons, that kiss, all those longing looks and you know I'm right, Dean, you even told me that you couldn't date"

Dean stared outside into the black night and swallowed hard. "I never meant to tell you that"

"But it's still true and you know…" Castiel said smugly and gasped when Dean turned suddenly gripping his t-shirt in tight fists and shoving him hard against the wall. Castiel gasped at the roughness and stared into the darkness of Dean's eyes feeling a thrill race inside him.

"I can't get you out of my fucking head!" Dean hissed at him.

"This hair" Dean said removing his hand and running a hand into the softness. "These eyes, those lips"

Castiel watched breathing heavily when his eyes dropped down to his lips and stared at them.

"You are in my thoughts, dreams, everything! You have become a nightmare that I crave and despise all the same, Cas, and I am so sick of wanting you"

"I know the feeling" Castiel whispered pressing against him and gasping when he felt his hardness against his thigh. "Do something about it"

Dean growled low in his throat hands moving to the back of his neck and giving in to his desire and kissing him roughly. Dean felt his will completely shatter into dust when he tasted that mouth pushing his tongue into Castiel's willing warm space. Castiel groaned fisting his hands into Dean's hair arching into his chest as their tongues swirled together in a messy, heated, fight for dominance. Dean won nipping his bottom lip and shoved him back hard into the wall getting a low guttural moan escaping Castiel.

"Dean" Castiel moaned breathlessly against his lips breathing hard and fast seeing the lust blown in Dean's eyes as he stared at him. Castiel's blood sang inside him and his heart beat fast at how fast he got this. Temptation overrules all.

The kiss grew heated again when Dean slid his leg into Castiel's parting them, Castiel groaning when Dean swung him around sitting him on the desk and smoothed his hands down his t-shirt.

"Dirty little devil" Dean hissed at him looking up at the red horns. Castiel smirked biting down on Dean's bottom lip and licking into his mouth as he held him close.

A noise outside of talking students startled them and they both turned to the noise.

"Fuck!" Dean hissed staring at the door in a panic looking towards Castiel who nibbled across his jaw and smiled.

"They'll go soon" Castiel whispered trailing his own hands down Dean's jumper and up onto the warm skin. Dean threw his head back with a moan biting down on his bottom lip.

"I want to taste you, Dean, I want to taste every inch of your skin" Castiel purred softly seeing him groan and stare at him eyes filled with lust and desire.

"You are a bad influence"

"You are a bad boy" Castiel murmured when Dean captured his lips.

"You need to go back before people get suspicious"

Castiel narrowed his eyes at him and pulled back. "You're not pulling back on me are you?"

"I couldn't if I wanted to, Cas, but if people notice we're both missing then this will be over before it's started"

Castiel nodded standing up and feeling more than smug. "I'll text"

Dean nodded once and giving in when Castiel pulled him into a soft kiss. Dean melted when he smiled pulling back.

"42 days" Castiel said with a small smirk. "I told you, Dean"

Dean simply stared at him when he chuckled walking out of the room. Dean covered his face in disbelief to what he had just done. He had given in, it didn't take much, a well thought outfit, a few words, and Dean gave into temptation.

He had roughly manhandled, kissed, and had his seventeen year old student and of course the guilt was there but it was overridden by desire, lust, wanton need, and it was Dean's turn now, if Castiel wanted a bad boy, he was getting a bad boy.

**A/N: I couldn't wait any longer. I need to get into the good stuff before I go insane!**

**Hope you guys like and review? I love feedback. Just one word, one sentence, to tell me how I am doing would be awesome!**


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel woke up on Monday morning feeling a wave of nerves tingle in his stomach. He crawled out of bed pulling on clothing and looking at the time. It was nearly 8am and if he walked now he had time with Dean in the morning.

Anna looked up from her compact and blinked in surprise to see Castiel ready to go.

"Okay, what is with the rushing? You don't have school for another hour"

"I want to finish this chemistry essay so I am going in early" he lied running a hand into his hair and turning to face her.

Anna eyed him confused and shrugged her shoulders gently. "Right, well I'll see you tonight"

Castiel nodded leaving the house and looking up at the morning sun. It warmed his face and body and he let himself smile for the moment before heading down the road. He noticed out of the corner of his eye a figure watching and turned abruptly towards it and frowned when he or she disappeared. He swallowed scanning the area before heading off towards school.

Dean opened the door and looked around the stuffy classroom feeling the echoes of Friday night affect him and he glanced at the black mark on the wall. A smile flickered on his face and he dumped his bag on the desk pulling out his phone. They had been nonstop texting throughout the weekend learning about each other. Dean felt like a teenager all over again and snorted at the thought.

"Concentrate" he murmured sitting down and opening his journal to write some notes.

He was writing down lesson plans when the door opened and he looked up to see a familiar face.

"You're very early" Dean murmured with a small smile when Castiel shut the door and shrugged leaning against it.

"It means we have half an hour before lessons begin"

"Oh really?"

Castiel nodded walking over to him slowly, gripping the back of his chair and climbing into his lap straddling his lap. Dean raised an eyebrow at him and smiled when he pressed his lips against his.

"That was quite hot, Cas" he whispered breathless

Castiel hummed sliding his fingers into the soft hair at the back of his neck and tilted it back opening his mouth kissing him hard.

"Cas, anyone could walk in" Dean said when they parted and he moved to his neck sucking and kissing it softly. Castiel huffed a laugh into the crease of his neck and moved up pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Tell me to stop" he purred rubbing his nose against his cheek feeling the grains of his stubble and the shudder running through him. "You have no idea how much I have wanted to be with you all weekend"

Dean closed his eyes feeling his cock harden at his words and he bit his lip when Castiel looked down and grinned.

"Someone want to come out and play?" he whispered lifting up and pressing his palm against it.

"Holy shit!" Dean gasped arching into his touch and staring at him with wide eyes. "Cas, are you a…?"

"A what?" he questioned confused.

"You know…" he said gesturing when Castiel caught on and shook his head.

"I'm not a virgin"

"Really?"

"It was taken a few months ago" he said looking away from him and swallowing hard as memories hit him of that night. It was the cause of everything.

"You sound surprised"

"A little, I thought you were still a virgin"

"Because I'm seventeen? Tell me, Dean, when did you lose your virginity?"

Dean narrowed his eyes looking him up and down and smirked. "Fourteen"

Castiel mock gasped rubbing his hand gently on his cock making him moan and toss his head back onto the chalkboard.

"Naughty" he cooed into his ear biting down on it softly.

"Fuck" Dean whispered when he licked into the shell looking towards the classroom door feeling panic rise inside him. "Cas, as much as I would love to continue this…lessons start in fifteen minutes"

"So we have ten minutes" Castiel commented peering into his eyes.

"Yeah, but people are here now, Cas, you have to leave" he said pushing against his chest. Castiel sighed climbing off him straightening his t-shirt with a sigh.

"When can I see you?"

Dean sighed and glanced at the time on the wall. "Four, wait till school closes and come see me"

"Okay" Castiel murmured darting forward and kissing him fiercely. Dean groaned pushing him away and pointed at the door.

"Leave" he whispered watching him saunter away. Castiel walked out lost in his own thought when he bumped into someone and sent them flying onto the floor.

"Oh!" he said looking down at Meg on the floor glaring up at him with such hatred.

"You stupid asshole" she said scrambling up and brushing herself down before gripping the top of his hair with vice like fingers and slamming his head into the locker. An explosion of pain clouded Castiel's vision and he gasped in pain when she threw her knee into his crotch. He gasped bending over and stared up at her when she slammed his head back in the locker.

"So pathetic, so…why were you coming out of Mr Winchesters room?"

"None of your business, Meg" he hissed at her and gasped when she gripped his cheeks with her fingernails.

"You're up to something" she whispered eyeing him up and down.

"You hardly know me, bitch; you took a pointless hatred towards me from the moment I arrived"

"I like my meat fresh" she said with a grin letting him go and throwing him to the floor. A crowd was gathering around them now curiously and he narrowed his eyes in hatred.

"There is something about you, Castiel, I don't like it and I don't like you" she said folding her arms. "You're up to something"

"I'm up to nothing"

Meg went to respond with a jibe when the bell sounded and she turned on her heel marching into class.

"Cas?" Jo cried rushing towards him and helping him up. "Did Meg do this?"

"It doesn't matter"

"It so does matter, that little cow needs to be knocked down before I personally rip that head off her ugly shoulders" Jo seethed looking towards the history class.

"Just go, I'll see you in gym" he said and realised he would also see Dean who helped out and hid a smile.

"Okay" she said with a reassuring smile heading inside. Castiel moved towards the door peering inside to see Dean standing in front of his desk looking at the students, he turned feeling a gaze on from the door and met his eye contact. Dean stared at him for a long moment before drawing away and clapping his hands for attention.

Castiel turned away keeping his head low as he moved to his biology class.

Two hours later, Dean walked out into the yard and over to the field where gym was currently taking place. He greeted the coach and glanced around catching sight of Castiel running up and down the length of the field looking sweaty and pumped. He walked over slowly taking his time when he reached him and nodded in approval.

"Sweaty and out of breath, it's a good look"

"Maybe you'll get to see it later" Castiel teased stopping to a halt in front of him watching Dean's eyes turn dark green with lust.

"Tease" Dean murmured looking around the field and back towards him. "You know exactly what you're doing don't you?"

"Not a clue but I want to find out" Castiel said stretching out his calf muscles. Dean watched him and coughed gently feeling heat pool down to his cock.

"I shouldn't be doing this" Dean whispered up to the sky feeling a wash of guilt crash into him and he looked back to Castiel. He looked at the flushed cheeks, the big wide blue eyes and swallowed back his dread. How could something so right be so wrong at the same time?

"Dean, this isn't wrong…not for me" he whispered standing closer to him. "Please don't back out of this now"

"Cas…" he said shaking his head. "If we get caught doing this…"

Castiel shushed him stepping closer and shaking his head.

"Don't think like that, Dean, if you do we will but for now let's just carry on like we are"

Dean could see the desperation in his eyes and nodded. "It's just a little bit too much to deal with, I fought so hard"

"But you gave in to what you really wanted" Castiel said softly and smiling when he turned to look at him.

"Four?"

"Four" Castiel said feeling a buzz of excitement when he rolled his eyes amused and walked away to shout at students who were messing around.

Pamela walked over to him and frowned watching Dean walk towards the students. "What was that all about?"

"He was just talking to me about my new classes since I quit, I think he misses my essays"

"Sure he does, what was it again? An E?" she said with a snort.

"That is cruel, Pamela"

"I wish he would talk to me, I'd tell him a thing or two about the things I would do to him, things that would make even your toes curl in pleasure" she said with a puff of laughter.

Castiel didn't respond but instead felt a fierce sense of protectiveness and ownership. Dean was his.

"I'm sure" he responded coolly moving away from her as she swooned on her own. Castiel jogged down the field and back again just waiting for 4pm.

**~0~**

Dean waited staring out of the window feeling his heart beat dangerously fast in his chest, his palms sweating, and feeling like his whole world was upside down. The door opened and he closed his eyes feeling a hand on the small of his back. He turned to see Castiel looking at him with a stoic look. Castiel moved forward touching his cheek softly, his lips parting in anticipation as he looked him over.

Dean inhaled deeply carding his hand into the black softness of his hair and gripped it tight bringing him flush against his chest. Dean felt Castiel exhale shakily onto his lips and knew it was the right thing. He never looked more beautiful.

Capturing his mouth in a heated kiss, Dean backed him away from the window and up against the desk. Castiel gasped seating on it fully parting his legs just for him sliding his tongue against his feeling the heat grow between them.

Dean's arousal grew when he felt Castiel lock his legs around him deepening the kiss and groaned when Castiel drew his hands down tugging off his t-shirt and gasping at the tan brown skin.

Castiel kissed down his chest slowly, Dean closing his eyes when shivers ran down his spine and fisted his free hand into Castiel's t-shirt.

"You're trembling" Castiel murmured confused. "What are you so scared of?"

Dean looked down at nothing and swallowed back the lump forming in his throat not knowing how to answer that. Truthfully, Dean didn't know why he felt so nervous but maybe it was he was so frightened at how he truly felt deep down.

"Losing myself"

"I'll fix you back together" Castiel whispered. "Want to know a secret?"

"Yeah"

"I'm scared too" he whispered with a small smile. Dean met his eyes for a brief moment before finally just giving in and pushing him down onto the desk. Castiel hit the wood with a gasp watching Dean crawl over him kissing him hard.

"Lift up" Dean murmured tugging on his t-shirt and yanking it off. Castiel stilled staring at his face when Dean froze staring at the scarring on his chest. Dean brought down a shaky hand trailing his fingers across the scarred skin and looked up to Castiel in horror.

"What's this?"

Castiel let his head fall back hitting the wood with a dull thud. "I don't want to talk about it"

"Cas, who did this to you?" he breathed in horror tracing his fingers across the symbol. Castiel exhaled shivering and shook his head reaching up to cup the back of his neck.

"Please, Dean, not now" he whispered. "I don't want to, I just want you"

"Did someone hurt you?" he whispered not listening to him.

"Yes, but it's not important to me right now, Dean…please" he begged him. Dean gritted his teeth and made a promise to himself that he would find out what happened to him.

Feeling a rush of anger and need inside him drove him forward as he gripped his hands slamming them down on the wood. Castiel gasped when he kissed him nipping his bottom lip and letting him breathe as he moved his mouth down his neck kissing the soft heated skin and moaning at the taste. Castiel tasted like heat, mint, and something sweet that he couldn't put his finger on. Castiel gasped arching his back beautifully when he reached his chest kissing across the scar with gentle lips.

"Dean" he whispered breathless when he popped the button open on his jeans tugging them down. "Will anyone come in?"

"No, no one comes down here since it's just history and science…they've all gone home" he murmured against his skin kissing down his navel listening to little moans and gasps escaping his mouth. Dean's own jeans felt so tight against him and he moaned low in his throat mouthing over his cock through his boxers tasting the saltiness of the pre-cum through the wet patch.

Dean's eyes looked up at him to see the arch of his throat as he writhed on the desk knocking down papers and a book to the floor.

"Messing up my classroom? Naughty boy" Dean whispered biting into the inner thigh gaining a keening cry from Castiel. Dean chuckled licking at the bite mark unbuckling his belt sliding his own pants off watching as Castiel opened his legs for him.

"You have no idea what you do to me, do you?" Dean growled getting back on top of the desk.

"I can guess and I'll tell you what, Mr Winchester…I've always had a little dirty dream of having sex on a desk" he whispered with a smirk when Dean growled biting his neck sucking it hard. Castiel gasped rubbing against it desperate for more friction and moaned hitting the desk craving more.

"Dean, please, I need you" he panted out when he removed his mouth moving down his body again tugging down his underwear revealing him to the cold air. Dean drew in a shaky breath letting out a puff of laughter.

"What?" Castiel said but cut off when Dean bent down swirling his tongue across the head.

"Oh my…_Dean" _he whined pressing a hand over his own mouth when his hands gripped at his hips taking him into his mouth. Castiel bit his hand stifling his moans when the hot heat surrounded his cock; he arched his hips rolling them forward fucking him in the mouth gently whilst fisting a hand into his hair. Dean moaned when he tugged on it gently feeling pleasure shoot up his spine as he hollowed out his cheeks sucking harder. It didn't take long as Castiel climaxed into his waiting mouth, Dean swallowed it down and let the over sensitive dick fall back down gently.

Dean crawled back up brushing a hand through his sweaty hair staring down into his half glazed eyes and smiled.

"Enjoy that?"

Castiel whimpered bringing him down and kissing him gently trailing his tongue across his bottom lip.

"I want more, Dean, I want you inside me" he whispered staring into his eyes. "I'm okay with it"

"I know you are" Dean whispered back trailing his fingers down his cheek and nodded leaning over and opening his drawer.

"You…you have condoms and lube in your classroom?"

"I put them in last week, Cas, no I don't do this with other students"

"I didn't suggest that…"

"No, but your eyes do" Dean said moving down him and spreading his legs. Castiel gasped when he heard the lid click open and a lubed finger slide inside him.

"Okay?"

"Yes, more" he pleaded feeling a second slide inside scissoring and widening the hole to insert a third inside him. Castiel winced at the burning pleasure of it and nodded gripping papers underneath him begging for more.

"More, Dean, fuck me, now" he rambled feeling like he was losing sense of time and everything around him. Dean slid the condom on and angled himself staring down into his eyes mouthing the countdown, "3, 2, 1" before slipping inside him.

Castiel opened his mouth in a silent gasp panting loudly feeling Dean's cock bury itself in his ass and winced at the pain shooting up inside his him also.

"It's okay, I got you" Dean whispered sliding his hands up and gripping Castiel's as he brought them above his head. Castiel moaned wrapping his legs around his waist.

"Move" he whispered staring into the green eyes, dark black in the light, and he shivered moving with him as Dean thrusted inside him slowly at first. Castiel knew it couldn't get any more intimate as he stared into his eyes feeling for one moment in time he was the only thought in Dean's head.

"Harder, Dean" he begged arching his spine meeting Dean's sweaty chest as they moved together perfectly.

"Cas…I can't hold on any longer" Dean gasped pulling him into a heated kiss feeling the burn inside him as he brushed the prostrate and received a shudder and cry.

"Do it, Dean"

Dean obeyed climaxing inside him arching his own back feeling Castiel cling to his hands as he cummed hard inside him. Riding out his orgasm, Dean dropped gently onto Castiel's shoulder breathing heavily. Castiel gasped pulling on Dean's damp hair pulling his head up to look at him.

In the distance they heard a door open and they both sat up startled turning to the door.

"Hell no" Dean whispered jumping off the desk dressing quickly and throwing Castiel his clothes as he also dressed quickly. Dean grimaced tying the wet condom and throwing it in his drawer.

Castiel panted out of breath pressing a finger to his lips as he crept to the door and looked out looking up and down to see the cleaner tugging a hoover with her.

"The cleaner" Castiel said breathless returning to him. Dean covered his eyes before staring at the messy floor and rumpled desk.

"Did we seriously just do that?" he whispered astonished.

"Yes" Castiel said with a nod smiling widely. Dean looked over him seeing his sex ruffled hair, rosy cheeks and the blue brighter than ever and felt a part of him fall completely under.

"No going back now" Castiel whispered pressing a kiss to his lips tasting cum and sweat. "This is it"

"I guess it is" Dean whispered looking down at the floor.

"I better get out of here hadn't I?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow and I'll…text" he said fighting a smile.

Castiel nodded fixing his t-shirt and zipping his jeans up.

"You made a little dirty secret of mine come true there and it was amazing" he whispered up to him touching his cheek. "We worked well for our first time"

"You are inexperienced that's why, you'll find better than me one day"

Castiel frowned at his words and shook his head. "I won't have anyone else when I have you"

"Cas…" he said going to protest but was silenced when Castiel kissed him.

"Hush, do not ruin it, Dean. I'll text you" he muttered determinedly and grabbed his bag walking out of the room. Castiel walked out of the back door in the main hall thankful it was still open and stepped out seeing the sunset on the day. Castiel inhaled smelling autumn leaves but most of all Dean's scent all over him. Only three days ago he got what he wanted, he got Dean, he got his kiss, and now he had just had sex on a desk. He chuckled covering his mouth feeling a burn of happiness radiate inside him, everything felt perfect.

But nothing ever remains perfect does it? When a little bit of happiness comes along, there is always something around the corner threatening and jeopardising everything. Castiel wasn't about to let anything ruin this, not his past, not his present, and certainly not his future because Dean was his, his secret, his desire and be damned if anything was going to stop him.

**A/N: Sex on a desk…that's only the beginning. **

**Enjoy, review, you know the score!**


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel tilted his neck to the side and chuckled stroking over the small red hickey blooming on the side of his neck.

"Dean will not be happy" he murmured softly pulling on blue t-shirt and wincing at the soreness in his muscles. It made him smile a little as he looked down at the bruises on his hip bones and honestly didn't mind those, they were worth it.

"What the hell is that on your neck?" Anna said pointing at it in horror when he walked downstairs.

"That would be a hickey, Anna, created by an eager mouth" he responded with a shrug pouring some juice. Anna slid back her chair walking over to him and gripping his shoulder.

"What the hell, Castiel, since when did you get a boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend"

"So, you've had some random boy sucking on your neck?"

"No! You wouldn't understand, Anna" he protested moving away from her.

Anna frowned shaking her curls and pointed a finger at him. "Gabriel won't like this"

"Then you clearly don't know our brother, he will love this, Anna, you know he will and he'll question me to the point of insanity"

"Point taken" Anna said rolling her eyes. "So is he nice, this mysterious person?"

"Yes"

"Is he in your new school?"

"Anna, stop being nosey" he said slamming the kitchen door shut.

"I am just asking questions, stop being a drama queen"

"Well it is none of your concern" he said in a stern voice moving out and grabbing his bag. "I'll walk to school"

"Cas!" she shouted but he ignored her shutting the front door hard and walking out into the cold air. He walked down the street thinking of yesterday and only just noticed the psychic, Chuck, watching him closely. He stopped and stared back confused only to see the panicked eyes fade to nothing and for Chuck to carry on down the street.

Castiel watched him curiously wanting to call out to him but stopped himself and moved on, it was probably nothing.

Keeping his head low and his neck hidden, Castiel headed straight to the history classroom to see Dean sitting in his chair deep in thought. Castiel knocked lightly sliding inside and watching him perk up and smile.

"Hey"

"Hello, Dean"

"How are you feeling?"

"Good…more than good, you left me a little gift" Castiel said walking over to the other side of the desk. Dean frowned looking over him and gasping when Castiel tilted his neck showing him the bruised mark.

"Shit! What are you going to tell people?"

"That my ex history teacher and now lover took me onto his desk and fucked me" he whispered with a devilish hint in his eye.

"You're hilarious" Dean commented sarcastically before standing up and circling the desk to look over it. He hummed stroking a thumb over the hickey and smiled.

"I like it"

"You what?"

"This, I like it on you" he murmured moving forward pressing his lips against the mark softly. Castiel gasped feeling his heart lurch and he inhaled the sweet scent of his shampoo feeling an overwhelming desire to push him down on the desk. Dean lifted his head kissing him hard cupping the back of his neck; Castiel opened his mouth for him willingly moving back to hit one of the student desks.

"Dean" he whined fisting his hands into his shirt moaning softly when Dean kissed down his jaw.

"Shit…we can't, Cas" he hissed when Castiel rolled his hips against him.

"Dean, please" he moaned gripping him tightly eager for more.

"I have a lesson in five minutes, I'll make it up to you, I promise" he whispered untangling his arms from him pressing his lips against his.

"Lunchtime?" he whispered gripping his wrists.

Dean struggled inwardly but nodded giving in when Castiel kissed him tasting coffee and a morning bagel on his lips.

"Go!" Dean hissed shoving him towards the door taking deep breaths running a hand into his unruly hair and calming his heart. Castiel scanned the filling corridor seeing no one looking horrified or suspicious; he darted out towards his locker opening it up.

"Hello, Mr Hickey" he heard and turned to see Jo and Pamela facing him.

"Hello, Jo, Pamela" he said with a grimace pulling out his books.

"Where the hell did you get that!" Jo demanded poking at it.

"The other day" he said covering it with his hand.

"By who?"

"I can't tell you" he murmured feeling guilty at the offended and hurt look on their faces. "But I will, but not now, its early days"

Relief replaced the guilt as they took the bait and their tense shoulders dropped down in equal relief.

"One more question, is it a boy or girl?"

Castiel couldn't hide a smile as he looked away from them. "Boy"

The girls squealed and Jo came forward shoving his shoulder. "I knew it! Oh wow, is he cute?"

"I am not answering that"

"Fine, one more question, are you coming to my 18th party this weekend?"

"Of course" he said with a nod. "In your mom's bar?"

"Yes! This Saturday" she said linking his arm when the bell went and they set off towards chemistry. Castiel glanced back to the history class down the corridor feeling a pang of longing. Dean had awoken a fire inside him now and all he wanted was him, he didn't need anything else.

**~0~**

Dean was collecting work from the desks when the door opened and closed suddenly, he turned startled and gasped when lips descended on his. Dean drew away with a gasp staring into lust filled blue eyes.

"Whoa" Dean whispered. "A little keen aren't we? Cas, it's lunchtime which means everyone is in the school, outside, and this is not safe enough. We have to be so careful here"

"Don't you think I know that? But I need you, Dean, you've done something to me" he whispered arms locking around him backing him to the back of the classroom. Dean hit the wall and groaned inhaling his smell with a nod.

"I know the feeling"

"I don't care about anything else right now, I want you" he pleaded pressing against him.

"It's too risky, this could end before it can really begin" Dean said turning his face away. Castiel groaned turning into the crook of his neck placing gentle kisses there simply staying still and waiting till he felt Dean respond. Dean's eyes closed moving his hands down to the small of his back pushing up the t-shirt to the warm skin.

Castiel raised his eyes up to his and waited patiently until Dean moved forward kissing him gently. It grew heated with Dean sliding his hands down the soft t-shirt to pull it over his head when he stopped and pulled away with a gasp. Outside in the corridor they heard the raised voices of girls approaching the classroom.

"Fuck!" Dean said staring right at him with "I told you so!" screaming in his eyes.

"Come on" Castiel murmured tugging his hand and dragging him into the little history closet in the back. He shoved Dean against the shelves squeezing into the little space and closing the door so only a sliver of light shone in.

The classroom door opened and two junior girls entered. "He isn't here, Lou, let's just go!"

"I want to hand in my essay"

"It's lunchtime!"

"Why was his door open then? It's always locked!"

Castiel chuckled softly looking around the small cupboard and back up to Dean who was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Stop laughing" he mouthed at him pressing a finger to his lips listening to the young girls.

"Look, let's just wait ten minutes for him"

"Fine! Ten minutes"

They heard the scrape of chairs as the girls sat down and started talking aimlessly. Castiel grinned biting the top of his finger and looking him up and down. The space was small but big enough for what he had in mind.

"What can we do in ten minutes…being very silent…and a lot more intimate than this" Castiel whispered into his ear. Dean shakily drew in a breath and shook his head urgently when Castiel opened up his belt slowly doing the zipper and dropping down to his knees.

"No!" he hissed and gasped covering his mouth when Castiel pulled his cock out, half hard and fully erect. Dean looked down watching him lick the top of the head gently and looking up to see him squirm and reach down fisting a hand into his hair. Castiel obeyed gripping his thighs tightly and swallowing down the head sucking on it gently being careful not to make a sound.

"Lou, I'm bored!" one of the girls said when Dean squeezed his eyes shut and gripping the shelf in front of him feeling Castiel's tongue run up the underside of his cock. Castiel was enjoying this more than he realised as he watched him the whole time seeing him squirm and try not to scream. He drew his tongue back swirling it over the head tasting the pre-cum as Dean rocked his hips fucking his mouth slowly.

"Come on, he's not here, he's not coming back yet, can we go?"

"Fine, I'll write a note" Lou said with a resigned sigh jotting down on a piece paper before leaving the room.

Dean felt something inside him crack and he cried out muffled against his hand spilling down Castiel's throat as he swallowed every drop. Castiel let him go licking his bottom lip and looking up at him with an innocent smile.

"Get here" Dean hissed bringing him up and kissing him hard, he grunted tasting himself on his tongue and pulled back shaking his head.

"I know" Castiel whispered with a grin when he pulled him against his chest. "That was very naughty"

"They could have heard, Cas!"

"They didn't, Dean, and they've gone" he murmured looking around the closet. "Blowjob in a school cupboard"

Dean chuckled leaning against his shoulder and pulled back zipping his fly up and sighing feeling content and warm from his latest orgasm.

"Naughty, naughty, boy" Dean growled into his ear nipping it gently.

"Are you going to punish me?" he whispered with a smile looking up at him. Dean raised an eyebrow considering it and poked him playfully in the nose.

"Maybe"

"We'd better get back out there"

"I'll go first" Dean said gently moving him back and poking his head out looking around the empty classroom. He stepped out quickly followed by Castiel who breathed out slowly.

"I wanted to ask you something"

"Shoot"

"I thought you already did that" Castiel murmured with amused eyes.

"Funny, what do you want?"

"Are you going to Jo's 18th birthday party this Saturday?"

Dean frowned and nodded. "Why?"

"You mean to say I get to see you outside school?"

"Cas, we can't"

"Says the man who just let me do that to him in a school cupboard"

"No, we're going to outside school and this has only just begun and I don't want it to end so soon because we're being reckless" Dean said walking towards him and tilting his chin up. "You've done something to me, Cas, I don't know what it is but I'm not about to let it go"

Castiel felt his mouth flicker to a smile feeling the very same and looked away towards the classroom door.

"You know I will keep it a secret, Dean"

"Good"

"I will see you Saturday though and under the influence of a lot of alcohol" Castiel said with a poker face. "I will want you, Dean"

Dean didn't reply but simply gave him a small smile watching him walk away and out of the classroom. Castiel pulled opened the door feeling a bang of satisfaction flowing through him mixed with fire and lust. It made him feel amazing.

Dean walked towards the cupboard peering inside and laughing softly before closing it and turning his back on it. He would never live that down.

**~0~**

"We have something to tell you" Gabriel said that Saturday morning when Castiel came down the stairs looking sleep deprived and confused.

"What?"

Anna motioned for him to sit down and glanced at the time, 8.05am, and sighed deeply.

"We have to go"

"Go? Go where?" Castiel said sitting on the couch cross-legged.

"Me and Anna, we have to go back Colorado today"

"Why?" he breathed looking between them both.

"We've been called up today, he wants to see us"

"Why?" Castiel repeated feeling more afraid than ever.

"He wants to see us and we are curious as to what, that means we'll be travelling down in an hour and staying with cousin, Michael, for the night. It means you'll be home alone for one day" Gabriel said in a stern "fatherly" voice folding his arms over. "I know you have that 18th tonight so if possible, stay with Jo"

"I understand that…what I don't understand why you are going to see him!"

"Because we have to, Cas, we have our own reasons" Anna said interrupting Gabriel who went to protest. "We'll tell you everything when we come back"

Castiel looked between them and shook his head. "How can even see him?"

"Because despite the jackass he is, Cassy, I am curious what was going through his mind at the time and I really want to know what the dick has to say" Gabriel said slipping into his old self and moving away to get his bags.

"You'll be okay won't you?" Anna said brushing her hand on top of his hair.

"I'm seventeen, Anna"

"I know but we worry about you" she said with a sigh. "Will that mysterious guy be there tonight?"

"Why are you still going on about him?"

"Because it's my duty" Anna replied fixing her hair and make-up.

"To asking questions that have nothing to do with you?"

"Cas…"

"Leave me alone" he muttered stepping up and moving upstairs grabbing his phone.

**I wish I could see you. **

**C.**

He sent the text and dropped down on the bed feeling sick. Why did they have to go back? He turned over and stared out of the window seeing the sun just starting to rise on the horizon and wondered how tonight was going to be. Castiel hoped he didn't stay at Jo's or even this place, he hoped he would be in the company of someone very different. His phone buzzed and he jumped opening the message up.

**It's a very good job I like you. You've just woke me up at 8, C. **

**I wish it too. **

**D. **

Castiel smiled pressing his face into the pillow feeling like a love sick teenager, texting, using code names, and missing him like crazy. An excited buzz started in his stomach and he turned when Gabriel knocked on the door.

"We're setting off, there's $20 on the side for food and booze if you want. We'll be back on Sunday...anything you want to say?"

Castiel sat up and stared at him hard in the eye. "I hope I never see him ever again, I hate him, and I hope he rots away in that place"

Gabriel didn't reply as he nodded closing the door and walking down the stairs.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Anna said when they walked out of the front door.

Gabriel looked up to see Castiel watching out of the bedroom window and nodded. "We're doing this for him"

Anna nodded climbing into the passenger seat and sitting determinedly as Gabriel started her up driving the car out of there and all the way back to Colorado.

Castiel watched the car turn the corner and narrowed his eyes moving away from the window and turned facing his room. It was a long wait till 7pm tonight and he sat down on the bed curling up under the covers bringing his phone towards him. He looked over the text and smiled burying his head under the covers willing time away.

**~0~**

Castiel pushed open the pub door greeted by the smell of cigarettes, alcohol, and the sound of music pumping in the bar. He stepped outside seeing seniors already inside and looked towards Jo who ran towards him looking stunning.

"You look beautiful" he said looking down at her silver dress and black heels.

"Thank you!" she said hugging him tightly. "I think I may be a little tipsy, everyone keeps buying me drinks"

"Does that count me out?"

"No! The more the merrier" she said grasping his hand and tugging him with her. Castiel followed looking straight ahead and feeling his heart skip when he caught sight of Dean in deep conversation with Ellen.

"Mom, you remember Castiel"

Dean straightened up when Castiel stood next to him and smirked before looking to Ellen.

"I see you made it"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss this" he said looking over to Jo who was engaged in another conversation who was greeting her happy birthday.

"One of your students, Dean?" Ellen said drawing his attention away from Castiel. Dean flushed shaking his head and looked up to her.

"He left my class so not anymore" he said with a cough sipping his beer. Ellen hummed and was drawn away as a couple hollered her. Castiel turned to look at him over seeing a black shirt and fitted jeans.

"You look very smart, Mr Winchester" he said with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Why thank you, Castiel" he said sipping his drink.

Castiel stepped closer looking up to meet smouldering green eyes.

"You look too good for your own good" Dean said suddenly making Castiel tilt his head at him surprised. "Get drinking"

Castiel stepped back and nodded once turning back to the bar ordering a shot. "Let's get a head start shall we?"

Dean grinned around his bottle top not noticing the inspecting eyes of Ellen watching from the other end of the bar.

Sometime later, Castiel jumped when he felt an arm come around him and turned his head to see pretty brown curls and a smile.

"Pamela"

"Hey, gorgeous" she murmured dropping down on the bar stool. "Where's Jo?"

"Greeting guests, drinking alcohol, and opening presents, plus Ash is getting jealous over the attention she's getting"

"Oh god he isn't is he" Pamela said glancing in the corner to see him sulking. "Be right back"

"What was that about?" Dean said curiously dropping next to him.

"A childhood crush out of hand" Castiel said knocking back his beer and slamming the empty bottle out. "I feel funny"

"You're probably tipsy" Dean commented beckoning the barman over for another drink. "Don't give me that look, this is an 18th, they're all 18"

Castiel snorted with laughter when the disapproving barman got a beer out and took his money.

"Dick" Dean mumbled under his breath and turned his head when dance music blared out and grimaced. "Oh youth, how tasteless your music is"

"What's your music taste?" Castiel said twisting in his chair to face him.

"Rock" he purred. "You heard of Motorhead, AC/DC, Metallica, those kinds of bands?"

"No" he said with a chuckle.

"You are a deprived young man" Dean scoffed shaking his head.

"Oh really? Maybe you should teach me" he whispered with a smile which widened when Dean poked him in the chest.

Ellen leaned on the bar looking over to them and beckoned to Jo who stumbled over. "They're close don't you think?"

"Who?" Jo said squinting and noticing Dean and Castiel together. "Mr Winchester and Castiel? They get on well together I guess, they are always talking and shit"

"Language" she warned straightening up and watching her walk away dancing with Pamela. She sighed deeply pursing her lips and shrugged, a close teacher/student friendship was not uncommon.

"What time is it?" Castiel murmured looking him up and down.

"Nearly ten…why?"

"Come the bathroom with me?" he whispered.

"Someone will see, Cas"

"I'll go first! You follow in five minutes" Castiel murmured jumping off the bar stool and stumbling through the crowd. Dean rubbed a hand over his chin and dropped his elbows on the bar feeling an urge to follow after him and looked up to see Ellen stand near him.

"You look troubled"

"I'm fine, just a little sick of dance music and teenagers" he murmured with a chuckle.

"Welcome to my world, sweetheart, I live with one 24/7" she said rubbing the glass she was holding.

"I'll need the toilet" Dean said with a fake grimace standing up and walking away from her. He moved towards the toilets and pushed the door open to see it empty and frowned glancing around.

"Cas?" he murmured and jumped when the cubicle door opened up dragging him inside. Warm lips descended on his and he moaned shoving him against the door, Castiel hitting it with a gasp and jumping up wrapping his legs around his waist. Dean grinned holding his weight before deepening their kiss.

"Let's get out of here, go to your place" Castiel murmured kissing down his jaw softly.

"We can't, Cas, they'll notice" he murmured closing the eyes at the warm pressure on his waist and pelvis.

"I can! Gabriel and Anna have gone to Colorado for the day, there is no one home and I am not staying here" Castiel said cupping the back of his neck pressing his forehead against his. "Take me back to yours, Dean, fuck me, mark me, and make me yours, Dean. I need you, I want you so much"

Dean moaned at his words kissing him briefly before pulling back. "You are a very bad influence, Cas"

"I know, take me back to yours, Dean" he whispered trailing his nose up his cheek and back inhaling the scent of his aftershave.

"Okay" Dean said with a shaky breath dropping him down and staring into the wild blue eyes. "You tell Jo you're going home and wait outside near the alley, I'll follow you, and I'll make an excuse"

"I'll go first" Castiel murmured kissing him gently before moving out and out of the bathroom. Dean collapsed against the wall of the cubicle cursing his weakness.

Castiel found Jo and smiled when she laughed hugging him.

"Jo, I'm going to go"

"What? No! Stay!" she pleaded.

"I'm not feeling well, Jo, I need some sleep" he said cupping her hands and kissing her cheek. "Happy birthday, I'll call you"

"Oh" she said with a pout. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Castiel nodded gripping her hand and walking out of the door into the cold air and hurrying towards the alley.

Dean moved to Ellen and waved his hand for her attention. "I'm going to head off, I love my goddaughter but this is too much drama for me"

Ellen laughed and nodded. "I know how you feel, I'll see you tomorrow"

"Tell her to enjoy her present!" he called and walked out into the fresh air inhaling the smell and moving slowly towards the alley pulling out his car keys. He glanced around to see students smoking outside but too high, too drunk, or not bothered to see Dean beckon to Castiel who walked over.

"Get in, our cover story is I am giving you a lift" he warned opening the car door and letting him in. Dean slid into the other side and looking over to him.

"Are you sure?" Castiel questioned.

Dean moved over gripping the back of his neck sliding his tongue against his tasting alcohol and pulling back staring into the wonders of his eyes.

"How can I possibly resist you now? You said to me a while back you've gotten under my skin and you were right…you said you could get deeper and you were right" Dean murmured searching his face. "I'm helpless, Cas, you're like a drug"

Castiel gaped at his words and swallowed hard not wanting to ruin it by speaking and simply gripped him tight pressing his lips against his.

"Let's go"

**A/N: I shall do the next part in my next chapter…**

**I am not evil. I keep you wanting more. **

**Enjoy! **


	11. Chapter 11

"Cas, if you keep kissing me, I can't open the door" Dean muttered holding him back as he opened his apartment door.

"Being a history teacher really pays off" Castiel said looking around the apartment building.

"We live in Washington, everything is stylish here" he murmured shoving open the door and dragging him inside. Castiel whistled low looking around the hall and walking into the stylish and well-built kitchen.

"This place is amazing" Castiel whispered walking out and into the living area.

"It's just…stuff" Dean said with a shrug glancing over the leather sofa, 40in television and sighed. "It's meaningless and for show"

"What's the bedroom like?" Castiel murmured returning to him and kissing him firmly. Dean groaned backing him up and into a small table containing the house phone and a vase which fell off and smashed to the floor.

"Oh" Castiel said spluttering with laughter glancing down at it. "Like it rough now do you, Dean? Breaking furniture is always a plus"

"Oh shut up" Dean growled gripping his wrist and moving him into the bedroom. Castiel gasped swirling his tongue against his and pulled back eyeing the big double bed.

"Fuck me into that mattress" Castiel murmured taking off his t-shirt quickly followed by his jeans as they fell back onto the bed. Dean groaned staring down at him as he moved up to the cushions and settled down into them spreading his legs.

"Shit, you're gorgeous" Dean murmured stripping off his clothing settling in between them and stopping at his chest. Castiel hummed closing his eyes arching his head back when Dean kissed the top of the scarring softly.

"I will tell you, Dean, just not now, I need time" he whispered seeing the questioning look in his eyes. Dean sighed but gave a small nod moving forward pressing his lips to the fading hickey on his neck.

"It means… I'm yours" Castiel murmured with a chuckle turning his head to face him. Dean rolled his eyes at him gripping his wrists and tugging him upwards, Castiel hit his chest with a moan staring into the smouldering green eyes.

"You asked me whether I was a good boy or a bad boy a while back didn't you?" he whispered trailing his mouth up and down his jaw.

"Yes…?" Castiel breathed whimpering when he bit his neck softly and pulled back.

"Exactly" he said confusing Castiel who gasped when Dean spun him around so he was on his hands and knees.

"Let's have a change" Dean murmured opening his little drawer pulling out lube and a condom. Castiel breathed out staring at the dark blue sheet and tossed back his head when he felt Dean spread his legs wider and part his cheeks.

"God, you look amazing spread out like this" he whispered pressing a kiss on his lower back feeling him shudder and moan his name. "You're not going to be sick are you?"

"No" he said with a puff of laughter but then groaning when he felt the cool liquid spreading over the hole. Dean slicked his fingers sliding a digit inside him feeling the raw burn of the heat radiating inside him, Castiel groaned loudly hearing the sound echo in the near silent room as a second was added. Dean scissored him wider shushing him softly.

"I have you" Dean muttered gripping his shoulders and bringing him up against his chest as they knelt on the bed together. Castiel let out a small whimper when he crooked his fingers brushing over the prostrate inside him and releasing bubbles of pleasure pulsating inside him.

"Dean" he whispered and groaned when the fingers were removed.

"You ready?"

"Yes" he whispered and opened his mouth in a silent gasp when he penetrated him with a thrust. Castiel panted leaning his head back against his shoulder when he thrusted in and out of him slowly, Dean slid an arm down gripping his waist and the other in his hair tilting it back.

Waves of pain and pleasure shot up inside of Castiel who moaned rocking back into him begging for more.

"Harder, Dean" he growled in a low voice. Dean narrowed his eyes tugging on his hair and biting down onto his shoulder hard eliciting cries from him as he shuddered violently.

"This is your punishment, you bad boy" he murmured into his ear licking into the shell and smirking when he turned his head kissing him awkwardly.

"No, no" Dean said pushing his face away thrusting inside him harder. "Don't you dare touch yourself; I want to make you cum untouched"

Castiel whimpered glancing down at his painfully hard erect cock already leaking pre-cum begging to be touched.

"Dean, please…it hurts, Dean" he begged tilting his head to lean it on his shoulder rolling his hips backwards meeting Dean's thrusts inside him. Dean hummed looking at his sweaty, pleading, face and smiled nipping his nose. He hit the sweet spot inside him again feeling him shudder and quake against him.

Dean slowly obliged wrapping a hand around his erection and pumping him slowly. With three slow pumps, Castiel came with a shout all over his hand and bed covers. Castiel saw his vision blur and gasped feeling his orgasm radiate inside him and slumped against Dean who moaned into the back of his neck. A quick thrust inside the tight heat sent Dean over the edge as he climaxed warm cum inside him till he was spent.

"Shit" Dean whispered resting onto his back before pulling out with a wince and letting Castiel fall onto the covers with a sleepy sigh. Dean rested back taking off the condom and tossing it in the bin before sliding up and resting on the pillow. He raked his eyes over the exhausted body seeing his red mark on his shoulder and smiled lazily poking him in the back.

"You're amazing" Castiel whispered into the pillow. "Drunken sex is the best! You're amazing, Dean, best sex I've ever had"

Dean raised an eyebrow at the compliments and leaned over his back peering down into his face to see his eyes closed.

"Are you gonna sleep?"

"No, no, just resting my eyes" he murmured waving a floppy hand at him. Dean rolled his eyes grabbing his shoulder and rolling him over so he could hold him while he slept. Castiel snuffled curling around him like a cat and sighed sleepily.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about you" he murmured into his chest.

"What about me?" Dean said confused watching him as Castiel opened his eyes blinking a little and peered up at him.

"Childhood, your parents, stuff like that"

"Don't you think you should be answering some of my questions also? For example, where the hell did this come from and why?" Dean said pointing at the scarring on his chest.

"I told you I would tell you but not now, Dean, I'm not ready"

"My childhood?"

"Yes" he said dropping his head on his chest with a sigh.

"Are you going to stay awake for this or am I wasting my time?"

"I'll stay awake, I'm more sober now" he replied willing himself to stay awake.

Dean looked up to the ceiling biting down on his bottom lip and shrugged once.

"I had any normal childhood, little house with a big red door, a mom, a dad, and a kid brother I felt obligated to take care of. It was okay, I had a good upbringing but my mom…she died when I was quite young and so it was just me, Sam and my dad"

"Sam?"

"My brother, he lives about twenty minutes from here with his wife, Jessica, and little boy, Daniel, he was all I had left. Dad didn't take mom's death well and took to drink, he went travelling a lot and didn't come back for weeks at a time sometimes but we managed and now…my dad's in a coma"

Castiel gasped propping himself up on his elbow gaping in shock. "Why?"

"Car accident gone wrong, he's been in one for about a month now and it's November already and there is no sign he'll wake up yet" Dean murmured smoothing his hand into the fluffy dark hair and bringing him down to kiss him gently. "But I keep hoping"

"What was your mother like?"

"Beautiful, I can't really remember a lot but I know that, she smelled of this fruity perfume she loved, she was kind, funny, and the best mom in the world" he said thoughtfully.

"I never knew my mom, she died giving birth to me" Castiel said tracing circles on his chest. "All I have is this photo of her; she's pregnant with me and...that's all"

Dean frowned sadly resting his cheek against his hair. "What about your dad?"

Castiel stiffened underneath his touch and he tilted his head at him confused. "Cas?"

"He's gone"

"Oh" Dean said still confused but let it drop rubbing a hand down his stiff back. "So your brother and sister are your only family?"

"Yes, Anna has been there since the beginning, a sister and a mother figure while my brother is the joker of the family, he takes cares of me because he's the oldest and I love him no matter what"

"Seems like no matter what differences there are between us, we share a troubled upbringing" Dean murmured. Castiel rose an eyebrow shifting and lifting up to roll onto his chest, Dean coughed at the sudden weight but spread his legs to he could fit into them perfectly.

"We're like a puzzle; I think we're made to fit together, Dean"

Dean chuckled poking him in the side making him splutter with laughter.

"Any more cheesy lines?"

"Dozens" he whispered kissing him softly.

Dean smiled into the kiss pulling back and looking over him carefully. "You look tired"

"I am"

"Come here" Dean said cuddling him close and tucking him under the quilt. "Sleep"

Castiel moaned moving into the crook of his neck and settling their happily. "Thank you"

"For what"

"Everything" Castiel mumbled with a long yawn. "I'm glad you shoved me against a wall and kissed me, Dean"

Dean held back his laughter and simply kissed his forehead inwardly agreeing. They lay together for a long while, Dean staring up at his ceiling while Castiel slept in his arms. It had been a while since Dean had someone in his bed, his one night stands often were in bathrooms, alleyways, or a motel room with a quick fuck, a "thanks", and sleeping there feeling dirty and used. Dean turned his head to see it was nearly midnight and back to Castiel breathing softly into his neck. Pressing his nose against his forehead and hair, Dean inhaled sharply breathing in the smell of sweat, shampoo and Dean's aftershave. It made him smile that Castiel smelled like him.

Reaching out he switched off the desk lamp plunging them into darkness and settled down closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep.

**~0~**

Castiel had no idea where he was, what day it was, and if he even still alive. He moaned lifting his head and looking around to see an unknown bedroom and an empty space beside him, Castiel swallowed back tasting a strange odour and felt it all come back to him.

"Dean" he whispered looking around and patting the empty space beside him, it was cold. Castiel climbed out picking up a t-shirt and his underwear pulling them on and padding out of the bedroom feeling sick and sore.

Dean turned when he saw him come in and couldn't resist smiling at him.

"Well isn't life unfair" he muttered shaking his head at him. "It's nearly 10, you have a hangover, and you still look gorgeous"

Castiel blushed looking down at himself and frowned peering up at him. "You are a liar, Dean Winchester"

Dean shook his head looking at his fluffy bed head which screamed "sex hair", his blue eyes were wide and sleepy and he was wearing Dean's shirt.

"You're my wearing one of my t-shirts"

"Am I?" he whispered peering down at it and shrugged. "It's comfortable"

Dean groaned longingly looking away from him and pointed at the kitchen. "Coffee and food is in there"

"I want coffee, no food, I feel awful" he whispered pouring someone into a mug and turning around to face him. Dean rolled his eyes handing him bottle of aspirin. Castiel took them off him raking his eyes down him and smiled gently, he was wearing nothing but grey sweatpants.

"No one should look so good in the morning" he murmured sipping the hot liquid gently. "Did we waste a whole night sleeping?"

"We did, you were tired from that alcohol in your system" Dean said taking the cup off him and tilting his chin towards him kissing him hard. Castiel hummed into his mouth wrapping his arms around his neck and allowing Dean to back him up and lift him up onto the counter.

"We can make up for it if you want, we have all morning and I love Sundays" Dean said pressing against him when Castiel wrapped his legs around his waist.

"I had no nightmares last night" Castiel said thoughtfully when Dean sucked a path down his neck before pulling away to look into his eyes.

"Nightmares?"

"You think this comes without a price?" Castiel said pointing at the scarring. "I dream about it every night, I hardly ever get sleep, but last night I didn't…I think it was because of you, a warm body to sleep next to and comfort me"

Dean felt a trickle of concern flow through him and reached up cupping his neck stroking over it softly.

"I wish you would tell me"

Castiel looked rubbed his cheek against the top of his head and sighed. "I'm eighteen next month"

"What?" Dean said pulling back looking up at him shocked.

"I'm eighteen next month which means I'll be an adult in the eyes of the law and everyone else"

"Cas, it doesn't matter…you know this between us is still wrong"

"How can something so wrong be so right?"

Dean snorted with laughter at how accurate he was and peered into his eyes. "I think that all the time, Cas, but it's wrong for so many reasons. In the eyes of the law as you would say, this is wrong, this is punishable, and I could go to jail for this if anyone found out. I am taking the biggest risk of my life here, Cas, and I don't want to ruin it"

"When I'm eighteen they can't say a thing!"

"Yes, they can. Your age is only the start, Cas! We are teacher and student, I could go to jail for years for this…because of my weakness for you" he said pulling back from him and stepping away. "It doesn't matter if you're eighteen because they'll call it disgusting, wrong, everything else that marks this for what it isn't"

Castiel sighed jumping down and walking over to him gripping his shoulders and shoving him hard against the wall. Dean gasped staring at him in wonder when he gritted his jaw in defiance.

"Age, status, job, sex, everything, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care what the law will do, say, or even try to attempt because this here" Castiel said bringing a hand to his cheek. "It's only been a week and it's everything! You say I am underneath your skin well it's twice as bad for me, Dean, because the thought of losing this hurts more than you could possibly imagine"

Dean closed his eyes at his words and shook his head.

"This could go terrible, Cas, I could lose everything" he whispered cupping his hands around the back of his neck.

"Am I not worth it?"

It was silent for a long beat before Dean laughed hard and threw back his head against the wall. Castiel stared at him feeling wounded and moved to pull back when Dean gripped him and pulled him back.

"Yes" he said simply. "You're worth it"

Dean moved away this time walking towards the window and peering out onto the street watching people walk on by.

"But you know what the scariest thing is, Cas, you're worth everything. I could lose my job and I wouldn't care, I could lose the respect of my friends and I still couldn't care less but I think if lost my families…that would kill me but I wouldn't regret you, not for a second" he said staring out at the street before spinning around to see him standing near the breakfast bar.

"It scares me to death, Cas, because I fought against it for so long and now look at me?" he said throwing his hands up. "I have no idea how to get out of this"

"No, we don't have to get out of this!" Castiel protested holding against the bar. "We can carry on just as we are, hiding, keeping secrets, being together until school is over and I've left, Dean. Don't end this"

Dean laughed breathlessly and looked up at him hard eye. "I'm not ending it; I'm just telling you how it is"

Dean could go only stand still when a blur hit him and he caught Castiel in his arms as he clung to him.

"I need you more than you know" he whispered into his ear. "We can do this, I don't care about anyone else and neither should you, Dean"

Dean shut his eyes breathing in his warm smell and sighed feeling a quarter of his heart fall under completely. If his whole heart was claimed by Castiel and everything taken away by his lust for him, what would he do when it all went wrong and the consequences of his actions backfired on both of them?

Because despite age, sex, and status nothing can hold back a feeling like lust, temptation and eventually, love.

**A/N: Feedback would be amazing! I'm starting to lose my grip on this and fearing the dreaded…writers block. I'm hoping I can come up with something.**

**Enjoy. **


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel leaned against his locker staring into nothing as Jo, Pamela, and Ash talked about their weekend.

"How was your weekend? I threw up all weekend" Jo said holding her stomach and swallowing weakly.

"It was rather good" Castiel replied with a secret smile thinking back to it. After their little bust up over what was happening, Castiel pushed Dean into the couch where they made up for lost time becoming a sweaty pair of limbs and harsh breathing. Castiel shivered gently at the memory and glanced towards the history room needing to see him.

"I'll be right back" he murmured walking towards the classroom.

"He's gotten really close to, Mr Winchester, don't you think?" Pamela said watching him leave.

"Well he's new, he's going to need someone to talk to and Dean's great…you're just jealous"

"Shut up" she said shoving her gently and sighing. "I wish I was close with him"

Castiel glanced at the time and saw they had ten minutes before it rang for first lesson and opened the door carefully.

"Hello, Dean"

"Hey, Cas" Dean said looking tired as he looked up from his marking.

"You look tired"

Dean hummed picking up an essay. "Spent all night marking these, I had about…four hours"

Castiel glanced over to the door before walking around the desk and stroking under his eyes.

"Cas, anyone could walk in" Dean warned pulling away from him.

"Oh" he murmured moving away from him and moving back to the front of the desk. "Can I see you tonight?"

"No, I have a marking to do and a dad in a coma to see, Cas" he snapped looking up at him with hard green eyes.

Castiel swallowed hard and nodded once shrugging his bag onto his shoulder and heading towards the door. Dean closed his eyes tapping his pen on the desk and looked up in time to call out to him.

"Cas, wait…I'm sorry, I'm just tired" he murmured rubbing a hand over his sore eyes. "Come around at 6"

Castiel gave him a small smile for confirmation and walked out of the classroom heading back towards his friends. Dean leaned back in his chair craving sleep and glancing up at the time; the sooner it hit 4pm, the better.

Castiel walked into his biology classroom bringing out his books and sitting down with a sigh to start his five pages of essay.

"Oh to be a doctor" he murmured scribbling down notes.

While he wrote, his thoughts drifted off elsewhere and he put his pen down contemplating whether telling Dean the truth about what happened to him. He hated seeing the confusion and hurt in Dean's eyes when he refused to tell him about the scar.

Castiel raked a hand into his hair knowing he promised Gabriel he would never tell anyone about what happened, it's family business, he needed to move on, but Dean wasn't just anyone, he was now his whole world.

Castiel tapped his pen on the desk knowing deep down he had to tell him. It was a burden he didn't want to hold all his life.

School ended quickly after that and he opened the front door to see Gabriel arguing with Anna angrily.

"What's going on?" he said closing the door to see them stop and Anna storm upstairs in a flood of tears.

"Anna being a stupid little cow!" he roared upstairs and was rewarded with a slam of the door.

"What's going on, Gabriel?"

"Nothing how was school?" Gabriel murmured pinching his bridge.

"It was okay" he said eyeing him concerned and dropping his bag on the floor.

"And how is the little boyfriend?" Gabriel said with a playful smirk.

"I don't have a boyfriend"

"Fine, lover, friends with benefits, sex partner, how is he?"

Castiel blushed looking away from him and shrugging. "It's early days, we're getting to know each other, I'm leaving at half five to see him"

"Oh are you now?"

"Yes" Castiel snapped brushing past him towards the kitchen. "He's a friend"

Gabriel was silent for a long moment before taking his shoulder and shoving him around.

"You told him?"

"Told him what"

"You know what! Have you told him?"

Castiel scoffed shoving his hand away and pulling his t-shirt up and tilting his head at him.

"What…this? If I have it is none of your concern"

"It is my concern! You're my brother, my family, and when I tell you not to tell anyone about this, Cas, I mean it!"

"It's my scar! It happened to me, not you, Gabriel, if I trust a person enough to tell them what happened to me and what you and no one else could prevent then I will"

Gabriel stared at him as Castiel breathed hard.

"I saved you"

"I will never forget that, I owe you my life, Gabriel, but it is my burden and if I want to share that then I can" Castiel said.

"Just…just make sure you can trust him, this was huge for you, for all of us, and I want you to be safe"

"I will be"

Gabriel watched as Castiel grabbed the juice and walked out of the kitchen heading upstairs. He sighed resting his forehead against the cold fridge door and felt the urgent need for a drink and a candy bar.

**~0~**

Dean as finishing up his tea when the buzzer went and he walked over to the intercom to see Castiel on the screen, he smiled pressing the button to open the main door. Castiel practically ran inside and up the flight of stairs towards his door. He bounded gently and waited till Dean opened it up with his small smile.

"Hey" he murmured and smiling when Castiel jumped at him kissing him firmly on the mouth.

"Hello" he breathed pulling away nipping at his bottom lip. Dean groaned shutting the front door and holding him close as they kissed slowly in greeting.

"What was your excuse?" Dean questioned walking back into the kitchen for his food.

"I am out seeing a friend, they practically shoved me out of the door wanting me to connect and bond with people" Castiel replied sitting down on the bar stool. "How was your dad?"

"Still stuck in a coma" Dean muttered sadly staring down at the meal slowly cooking in the pan and shrugged his shoulders. "They're talking about turning off the machines…he's brain dead apparently and I…I haven't got the heart to tell Sam"

"Dean…" Castiel said reaching up to his shoulder and clutching it tightly.

"I knew it was going to happen, Cas, there was no other way" Dean said turning towards him with a sad smile. "That's life and it's a nasty bitch"

Castiel knew exactly what he meant and came up behind him wrapping his arms around his chest. Dean smiled again turning around and rubbing his nose against his in an Eskimo kiss. Castiel grinned at the cute gesture and tightened his arms moving them around the back of his neck.

"Food…or the bedroom?" he growled.

Castiel hummed glancing towards it and nodded. "Let's work up an appetite"

"Excellent idea" Dean whispered backing him up towards the bedroom. Their mouths met in a passionate embrace as they kissed shredding clothing and fell into the mattress panting and needing more skin.

"Dean, I need you now" Castiel moaned breathlessly when he kissed a trail down his inner thigh nipping at the soft skin.

"Horny son of a bitch" Dean whispered grabbing the lube and spreading it over his fingers before penetrating him and watching him squirm and pant out his name.

"Dean!" he practically screamed as a third finger was added and he removed them quickly feeling his cock twitch and swell at his words. Dean felt the urge drive him forward as he positioned himself against the hole and slid slowly inside the tight heat. Castiel gasped and gripped his forearms when he felt Dean thrust inside him till he bottomed out.

"Oh please! Please, Dean, more, I need you to move" Castiel moaned rocking his hips towards him enjoying the burn and pleasure of it as Dean thrusted hard inside him releasing that sexual frustration.

"So…damn…tight" Dean hissed wrapping a hand around Castiel's neglected cock and pumping him hard, Castiel gasped and moaned feeling everything inside him scream in delight.

A burn rose up inside him and before he could warn Dean, Castiel climaxed and came hard shooting onto his stomach and hand. Dean smirked down at him as Castiel collapsed against the bed breathing hard and whimpering when Dean thrusted inside him banging him against the headboard.

"So gorgeous, Cas" Dean moaned closing his eyes tilting his head upwards as his cock filled and he cried out feeling his orgasm rip through him. Castiel felt the warm cum trickle inside his hole and gasped dropping his tired legs from his waist. Dean groaned low in his throat pulling out and ripping the condom off dropping down next to Castiel.

"We are amazing" Castiel whispered turning his head towards him.

"I know" Dean said closing his eyes with a small satisfied smile.

Castiel hummed rolling onto his chest listening to his erratic heartbeat when it hit him; he had to tell him now.

"Dean?" he said after a long minute of silence.

"Yeah?"

Castiel rose up and stared down at his closed eyes till they opened and stared at him curiously.

"I'm ready to tell you now" he whispered trailing a hand over his scar. "But you must promise me that you won't interrupt me when I tell the story"

Dean nodded slowly watching him rest against his chest gently and intertwine their hands together over his heart.

"Back in Colorado, I went to a nice school and I had a friend, my only friend, his name was Luke and he was the best friend I had ever had. I adored him, I liked him more than I ever realised and it was only when I hit puberty that I realised I liked him more than a friend, I wanted him in ways that were sins" Castiel said staring off into the distance. "Luke liked me too, I never knew until when we were recently seventeen and he kissed me, I kissed him back and it all came flooding out"

Dean listened and swallowed just waiting with baited breath.

"I come from a religious family, my father is a religious man, but me, Gabriel, and Anna, don't listen to him and it frustrates him a lot. He didn't know I felt that way about men but my brother and sister did…I swore them to secrecy. One day, Luke and I skipped school to come back to mine and get rid of our virginities…we went upstairs to my room in my empty house and we did it"

"What I didn't know at the time was my father was in the house, he heard everything, and I never knew. He didn't act any different with me…he just wouldn't look me in the eye. So my relationship with Luke continued secretly and I was happy, I was so happy, but that all was going to change"

Dean felt Castiel tremble as he remembered and clung to him tucking his head underneath his chin and soothing him softly.

"One night after leaving Luke's, I was walking home quietly when I heard a screech of a car behind me, I turned and could only watch as two men came at me knocking me to the ground and a blinding pain knocking me out. I came to in an old warehouse, I was tied to a chair…I had tape over my mouth and it was all dark. I screamed and I screamed for help until I noticed someone come towards me"

"It was my father's friend and close confidant, Ralph; he stood in front of me and called me an abomination. He told me that my father knew about my sin, about my sexual fantasies, and intercourse with a man. Ralph told me I had a demon inside him, I was possessed, and that Charles's son could never, ever, be one of those homosexuals so it was his duty to expel the demon inside me"

Dean drew in a shaky breath not knowing now if he wanted to truly hear this.

"In the shadows of this warehouse, my father was waiting, hearing everything, biding his time, till Ralph called him over…"

~0~

**June 2011**

Castiel squirmed against the seat panting under the tape and watching as Ralph circled him like a predator over his own prey. Charles stepped out of the shadows and moved towards the light so his son could see him.

Castiel froze finding him and protested under the tape for him to help him.

"Ralph told me you were possessed and I know you are, my little Castiel would never do what you have done, demon"

Castiel stared at him with wide shiny eyes and screamed shaking his head.

"I'm not a demon!" he shouted muffled by the tape.

"You are, you are, and we are going to drag you out!" he hissed down to him ignoring the blue eyes that were so frightened, so scared of him.

Castiel panted terrified when Ralph stepped forward with a knife cutting off his t-shirt to reveal his naked chest.

"This has to be done" Charles whispered stepping back with a shuddering swallow.

Castiel felt tears streaming down his face shaking his head and protesting when Ralph stepped forward pressing the tip of the knife into his neck.

"A little symbol should hold you down before we torture you and then drown you in some holy water…get rid of you" Ralph whispered.

Castiel sobbed looking over to his father shaking his head.

"I'm not!" he screamed hard so it echoed around. Ralph beckoned Charles to hold his head back and Castiel shouted muffled when Charles did so with dead eyes. Castiel panted and screamed wringing his bound hands and screamed in agony when Ralph carved into the flesh drawing the blood out in streams as he worked his way. Castiel screamed and screamed looking up as his own father stared away from him tears collecting in his own eyes.

Castiel's vision blurred and he closed his eyes breathing hard exhausted flinching and whimpering loudly when Ralph finished up and moved away coated in Castiel's blood.

"Done" he whispered with a grin. "Let's get him into the bath and get the bible"

Charles let go of him with a gasp watching Castiel's head roll forward half unconscious from pain and loss of blood.

Before anything else could be done, the doors of the warehouse burst open and in roared the siren of the police and a very, very, panicked Gabriel and Anna. Castiel could only watch through blurry eyes as his father and Ralph where tackled to the floor and a crying Anna and a horrified Gabriel caught him before he passed out.

**~0~**

"I came around in hospital three days later" Castiel whispered feeling his tears run down his cheeks and the shaking form of Dean underneath him. Dean stared out with wide eyes feeling anger he had never felt in his life build up inside him.

"Gabriel found notes in fathers office about what was going to happen; he wrote it all down, he planned for weeks what he was going to do to me. He was going to kill me" Castiel said pressing his face into his chest. "While I was in the hospital, father and Ralph were arrested and sent down…the trial went down while I was in therapy and he was sent down for 15 years"

"Good" Dean hissed clinging to him and closed his eyes feeling tears squeeze out. "God, Cas"

"Gabriel moved us here when the therapy and trial ended…he disowned father and told him he was dead to all of us…I haven't seen or spoken to him since that night"

Dean buried his nose into his hair breathing hard and staring at his wall until Castiel pulled back to look at him.

"I trust you enough to tell you, Dean, Gabriel told me to tell anyone but…I trust you and I need you in my life" Castiel murmured and gasping when Dean kissed him bringing him up so they were sitting.

"That evil, sick, son of a bitch!" he growled. "I hope I never, ever, see him because I will kill him"

"Dean…"

"No!" Dean said angrily. "How could he…how could he just stand by and let that man hurt you like that! You are his flesh and blood, his family, his son, Cas, I can't…"

Dean clung to him feeling Castiel cling back.

"I don't know what I was imagining…but that? Oh hell no" he hissed pressing kisses to his shoulder. "You could have died!"

"I didn't, I'm still here, I'm still fighting on like I am supposed to be, Dean, because if I live in the past…it will destroy me. I have a new home, a new school, and I have you" Castiel muttered clutching to him. "I have you, Dean"

"I'll never leave, I promise" Dean whispered pulling back and staring into the watering pain ridden eyes and nodding. "I'll help you get through this, the nightmares, everything"

Castiel smiled and climbed into his lap hugging him close feeling Dean clutch to him again knowing he shouldn't have promised that at all. Promises can be broken as easily as they can be made and if he broke this one, there would be no going back.

**A/N: I have direction! I also gave you the truth as bad as it is! **

**Enjoy and feedback please! It is always appreciated. **


	13. Chapter 13

Dean stared across the pillow towards a sleeping Castiel and sighed moving forward to press his lips against his forehead.

"Cas" he whispered shaking his shoulder gently. "It's nearly 10, you have to get home"

"No" Castiel moaned inching towards him and cuddling him close. Dean sighed not wanting to let him go either, not after what he had told him, Dean wanted him in his arms and to never let him go.

"You have to, Cas, it's school tomorrow and your brother and sister will be wandering where you are" Dean whispered into his ear nuzzling it gently.

"No, they'll understand, I have clean clothes on the floor there…I changed before coming here and I can leave early" Castiel begged. "I'll call them and tell them I'm staying the night"

"Your bags at home"

"I don't need my bag! All my stuff is in my locker for tomorrow"

"Cas, I don't know…"

"Please?" he whispered knowing he was pushing his luck but he couldn't stand the thought of sleeping alone tonight.

Dean swallowed looking away from him and bobbed his head once in confirmation.

"It'll be okay" Castiel whispered trailing his lips up his cheek and holding their breathing in his scent gently. Dean closed his eyes moving his head and capturing his lips in a gentle kiss.

"Call them now, I'm going to get food" he said passing Castiel's phone over and climbing out of bed. Dean wandered into the kitchen and gripped the counter top feeling sick. Anger, hatred, and pain drove through him and he just couldn't get a grip on the rush of feeling inside him. He despised and hated men he had never met for hurting Castiel.

He turned around when Castiel padded into the kitchen looking a little tired and pissed.

"Gabriel isn't very happy but I told him I'm staying no matter what"

"He's your big brother and big brothers look out for their little brothers no matter what"

"I am not judging his actions, Dean, I know he means well but he treats me like I am seven and not seventeen"

Dean smiled weakly pouring a drink and sighed looking towards him. "Bed"

"Now you're treating me like a child" Castiel said folding his arms.

"No, I am going to bed, I'm tired, do you want to join me?" he teased and smiled when Castiel softened taking his hand. Dean tugged him along to the bedroom and climbed into the soft warm bed and bringing him into his arms.

Castiel sighed peacefully when his arms circled him and he tucked him underneath his chin.

"I feel so safe here" Castiel whispered inhaling the smell of his warm musky skin. "I want to stay here forever…just you and me, no one else"

Dean chuckled gently amused and tilted his chin up to face him. "You'd get bored of me, Cas, I am not as special as you make me out to be. I am a normal, boring, stuffy history teacher, who has happened to catch the attention of a gorgeous but troubled young man"

Castiel narrowed his eyes at him and pushed up straddling his hips pressing two palms to his chest.

"A normal, boring, stuffy history teacher? Dean, you do not take yourself seriously do you? Every girl in the 12th grade is lusting after you; they want you more than anything. Pamela is always talking about how much she wants you"

"She can't have me"

"No, because I have you" Castiel said with a devilish smirk. "Tell me this, how many valentines cards did you receive this year?"

"I don't know"

"Yes you do, tell me"

"45 cards, all anonymous, and all from students" Dean said rolling his eyes. "I threw them away"

"So, are you a normal, boring, stuffy history teacher or a beautiful, smart, funny, and brilliant history teacher who everyone adores?"

"Shut up" Dean said gripping his wrists and kissing him. Castiel swirls his tongue into his mouth and moans when Dean ruts against him.

"Shit" Castiel murmurs arching his neck when Dean bites down over his fading hickey sucking and claiming him all over again.

"Come on, sleep time" Dean said drawing away from him licking his tongue over the sore mark. Castiel rolled his eyes but obeyed rolling off him and curling up against him. Dean gave a small smile burying his nose into his hair and stroking a warm hand up his soft back.

Castiel dropped off to sleep rather quickly while Dean felt his mind ticking over and over fighting back sleep so he could think. No matter what he did, how many times he breathed in Castiel's warm smell or even moved away from him, Dean couldn't sleep.

Hours passed and Dean sighed pressing his eyes close breathing in and out firmly seeing images his mind had conjured up. Images of Castiel screaming in agony, covered in blood, and begging to be saved, Dean opened his eyes with a shuddering breath turning to look at Castiel.

Castiel slept on obliviously and Dean reached trailing his fingers into the softness of his hair and pressing his lips to his temple. A surge of affection and protectiveness lit up inside him and he swore to protect him from anything that would ever harm him again. Dean sighed deeply pulling back to see the faint lines of the scar on his chest dimly there in the light shining in from outside.

Dean lifted his head to see it was nearly 2am and blinked not even realising at how much time had passed. He sighed nuzzling against Castiel's temple before climbing out of the bed pulling on underwear and a t-shirt before moving out into his living area.

Dean grabbed the whiskey bottle on the side pouring a stiff drink and sitting down on the couch hoping it would help. He had wanted to know the truth and he got it, Dean just didn't realise how horrific it would be.

Castiel groaned rolling over and falling into the empty space surprised.

"Dean?" he whispered patting the cold space beside him and looking towards the alarm. He sighed looking over to the bedroom door and the sliver of light shining through.

Castiel sighed wrapping the big duvet around him and walking out and into the living area.

Dean looked up to see Castiel walking in swamped by the double duvet and stopping near the edge of the couch.

"Dean, its 2am, why are you awake?" he whispered.

"I can't sleep" Dean said swirling the orange brown liquid in his glass.

"Is this about what I told you?" Castiel murmured dropping down next to him. "Dean, don't let it trouble you"

"He hurt you, Cas, your own dad" he said shaking his head. "I keep seeing it, you screaming for help, and I don't…"

Castiel looked him up and down shaking his head before reaching for the glass and placing it down. Dean watched as he tucked the blanket around them both tightly before climbing into his lap.

"Dean, listen to me, this is me" he said gesturing down to his scar. "We can't change the past and if we could, I would change this. But if I keep remembering it and punishing myself with all the memories I am never going to move on from it" Castiel said placing his hands on either side of his neck. "I wanted to tell you this because I know I can trust you, I know you won't use it against me or even judge. I just want to forget, Dean, and I don't want you getting…angry over this"

"I can't help it, it's in my nature, Cas" he said tilting his head back with a sigh. "But you're right, I shouldn't be this angry and I know you don't want to think about it and starting from now let's just continue as we were"

Castiel smiled weakly at him and nodded pressing his lips against his in a gentle kiss. Dean stroked a hand up his cheek and pulled away.

"I'm exhausted"

"Then let's sleep" Castiel said tugging them down so they were lying in a cocoon. Dean narrowed his eyes but allowed it as he settled on the couch humming like a cat when Castiel stroked his hair.

"You sleep first" Castiel whispered stroking his hand in and out of his hair softly. Dean looked up at the innocent blue eyes and felt his heart expand inside him.

"_Shit" _he thought staring at him and closed his eyes leaning into his touch as they twined hands together and mentally cursed his self. He knew this was probably the worst and best mistake of his life but it was just lust, temptation, and an overwhelming desire for him that drove him forward. But it scared Dean the most that it could be something more developing inside him and that thought scared him to death.

Castiel watched as he drifted off breathing heavily against his cheek and smiled pressing his lips against his before settling down and closing his eyes. A weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he was seriously happy.

**~0~**

Dean groaned opening his eyes feeling hot and cramped up as he peered around the dark room. Castiel moaned at the sudden movement and sighed rolling away from him and falling on to the floor with a gasp.

"Ah" he said shaking his head and glancing up to Dean who snorted with laughter. "Ass"

"Poor baby" Dean teased with a yawn sitting up and blinking repeatedly. "What time is it?"

Castiel sat down and looked over to the clock and inhaled sharply.

"Dean, we're in big trouble"

"Why?"

"It's nearly 10" he whispered eyes wide.

Dean swore loudly darting up and wrenched open the curtains and stared in surprise.

"Oh my god" Dean breathed turning to Castiel who walked over and blinked. Overnight, Washington had been struck with the first snow of the season and it was deep already. Castiel smiled softly staring at the snow falling gently to the ground and shrugged.

"Work or a snow day?" he murmured with a grin.

Dean rolled his eyes picking up his phone to see one missed call from the school. Dean listened to the voice message and dropped his phone with a resigned sigh.

"School is closed, pipes frozen over" Dean said with a sigh.

"Seriously?" Castiel said darting into the bedroom for his phone to see three missed calls from school, Gabriel, and Jo who all left messages to at school was closed, where the hell was he, and Jo screaming, "SNOW DAY!" down the phone.

Castiel walked over to him and kissed his shoulder. "I do not know about you, but I want to go out there"

"You can, I'm not, we can't be reckless, Cas. This is reckless! I knew I shouldn't have let you stay" Dean said walking away from him.

"If I didn't stay, you wouldn't have learnt the truth about what happened to me"

Dean rolled his eyes at no one in particular and nodded looking back to him. "I know"

"Let's just drive somewhere, the park?"

"People are there, Cas, it's a snow day which mean everyone will be out and they will see us"

"The countryside?"

"Cas…I don't know" he said and held still when Castiel rushed up to him.

"One day, we have one day to just spend time together without school, rules, everything, Dean. Please?" he pleaded biting down on his bottom lip. Dean groaned pressing his forehead into his shoulder blade and pulled back shaking his head.

"Fine! Let's just drive somewhere" Dean muttered furious at his self for giving in so easily to him. Castiel grinned kissing him roughly.

"I'll make it worth your while" he whispered against his lips before running to the bedroom to get changed. Dean leaned back against the counter and drew a hand into his hair forcing it to stick up feeling foolish and like a teenager all over again. Dean felt a smile tug at his lips and knew Castiel did that to him, he brought out the fun side of him he hadn't seen in a while. Castiel didn't know it yet but he was slowly changing Dean for the better.

Dean's eyes flashed to the blanket and he knew deep down he loved waking up to a warm body lying next to him instead of a cold space he had come to loathe. He didn't have the heart to tell him yet, maybe one day.

Castiel came back dressed, hair sticking up, and eyes bright with dimmed excitement. Dean chuckled walking over and kissing him firmly.

"Two minutes" he murmured pushing him back and poking his pouty bottom lip. Castiel walked back to the window and felt a brimming excitement. In a few weeks it would be December, Christmas break, and Christmas itself and he knew it would be the best Christmas he could ever want if he could spend it with Dean.

Dean pulled out his phone to see a message from Sam.

**Sam.**

**We need a talk soon. We can't keep dragging this out anymore, dad is suffering, Dean. Call me back. **

Dean sighed throwing the phone down on the bed hard pulling on his warmest clothes and picked it back up pocketing it. Denial was the best way forward right now.

Returning to him, Castiel turned expectantly waiting.

"Come on; let's go be Thelma and Louise"

"Who?"

Dean pursued his lips fighting back the urge to scream and instead gestured to the door.

"We're having a movie night sometime"

**~0~**

Castiel stared out of the Impala window as they drove into the countryside in awe. Dean was thankful for snow blowers and that the ride was easy enough.

"Where are we?"

"Rock Creek Park, my mom took me here when I was a little kid" Dean said with a fond smile. "Hopefully no one we know will be here"

Castiel smiled settling back into the seat. "What's your favourite color?"

"What?"

"I want to know more about you, Dean"

"I don't have one" he said honestly. "What's yours?"

"White"

Dean snorted glancing over to him amused. "White? How original, Cas"

"Food?"

"Pie" he said turning the corner into the car park and parking up. "You?"

"Burgers"

Dean grinned with a nod getting out and looking up at the opaque white sky feeling the cold chill in the air as he pulled on his gloves. "Let's go for a walk, I remember a route"

Castiel hurried towards him and followed after him as they headed towards the woods.

"How was your school life?" Castiel said as they crunched through the snow.

"Typical school, I was a bit of a whore" Dean said thoughtfully. "I messed around a lot at the beginning but soon settled down when history took my fancy; Sam was always the brain box from the beginning"

"You were a whore?"

"A little, I was a teenager, Cas, my hormones were everywhere but they were nothing" he said with a shrug and looked down when Castiel twined their gloved hands together.

"What about relationships?"

"Oh on that topic are we?" Dean said with a snort helping him over a fallen log on the ground.

"I told you about Luke" Castiel said breathless dropping down next to him.

"So you did…I had little relationships with girls in school, nothing serious, but then I met Cassie in college" he said looking into the woods eyeing the snow around them. "We didn't work, we constantly fought, but there was something about her. I fell stupidly in love"

Castiel swallowed hard regretting asking now feeling a jealously tickle inside him.

"She was my first girlfriend, the first girl I loved, but then it all went wrong"

"How?"

"Different reasons, our arguing, my failure to fully commit to her…I drove her into another man's arms" he said kicking a flurry of snow. "I broke her heart and my own in the process; it was nearly three years ago"

"So has there been anyone else since her?"

Dean shook his head before flashing a look over to him. "Well…I guess you've changed that"

Castiel flushed looking down at the snow and away from his heated gaze.

"I admit there was a fair few one night stands…"

"You're only human, Dean"

"I guess" Dean admitted bitterly.

They stepped out into a clearing, a dozen of picnic tables dusted in snow dotted around empty. Castiel let go of Dean wading through the snow when an idea came to him and he turned to face Dean who was watching him curiously.

"Snow angel!"

"No" Dean said and covered his eyes when Castiel sat on the freezing snow spreading his arms and legs out. "You're going to catch a cold!"

"It's worth it, Dean, think back to last September…could you imagine for one moment doing this on a school day in November?"

"Not in a million years"

"I'm a miracle from heaven" Castiel said with a smirk. Dean rolled his eyes dropping down next to him as they lay back in the snow.

"You're one hell of a miracle" Dean murmured ignoring the seeping cold in his back.

Castiel laughed gently holding still before collecting snow and rolling over quickly throwing it in his face. Dean spluttered as the ice cold water hit him and struggled up staring down at him; Castiel chuckled moving away from him.

"You're dead" he hissed collecting snow watching as he scrambled up and backed away from him. "Throwing snow at me, Cas? Bad move"

"Please don't" he panted breathless from laughing and ducked when a snowball was launched at him. Castiel turned running towards the trees and hid behind one breathing hard listening for Dean. He frowned when he couldn't hear him and peered out seeing him nowhere in sight, he inhaled sharply feeling fear and excitement creep up. He moved back scanning the area wondering where he could be when he felt someone cough behind him. Castiel turned slowly to see Dean standing behind him and snow hit his face as he hit the tree with a gasp.

Icy cold water trickled down his face and he gasped loudly when Dean threw back his head and laughed hard.

"Your face" he wheezed.

"You're evil!"

Dean snickered pressing him against the trees kissing him roughly. Castiel kissed him back moaning at the warmth of his mouth and fisted his hands into his jacket.

"Favourite film?" Castiel whispered.

"The Untouchables" Dean murmured and shook his head when he frowned confused.

"Seriously, we are having a film night, Cas"

"Film nights usually end in sex"

"That's the plan, what's your favourite film?" Dean said with a grin.

"Toy Story"

Dean pressed his lips together fighting back his laughter and simply nodded. "Talking toys"

"It was the first film I ever watched, Dean"

"I'm not judging, Cas"

Castiel hummed pushing him back and shaking his wet hair. "I'm now cold"

"Shouldn't have threw snow at me" Dean argued back like it was the most reasonable excuse he had. Castiel narrowed his eyes at him but it faltered when Dean held out his hand.

"Let's go get coffee, warm up, and we'll go exploring some more" Dean said pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I know a little place that should be open"

Castiel clung to his hand moving in step with him and knew he was done for.

"_Am I in love?" _Castiel thought when he walked in step with him; he turned his head to watch him when Dean hummed a song underneath his breath oblivious to his inner conflict. Castiel knew what love felt like that, he had his family, his friends, but this was different. Castiel also knew what lust felt like and while he still felt that, it was overshadowed by something so much deeper.

"Hey, you okay?" Dean questioned stopping in his tracks concerned. Castiel looked at him and nodded quickly stepping closer to him; he pressed his gloved fingers to his cheek staring into the confused but awestruck green eyes for a long moment before kissing him. Dean's hand slid down to his hips gripping them when Castiel's gripped the back of his neck.

They kissed heated in the middle of the park woods under the slowly falling snow drifting around them like something out of a cheesy romantic film, but he didn't care, this for Castiel was his confirmation to his question, yes.

**A/N: I was listening to, Boyce Avenue - We Found Love, while typing this out. I love this chapter; I kept smiling when I was writing it. Listen to it, I love him. **

**Enjoy! Feedback as well! It is always appreciated.**


	14. Chapter 14

Since Castiel's self-discovery that day in the park, he couldn't get enough of Dean. He relished the feeling inside him and chose to stay with him at break time, lunchtime, and after school in his apartment. No one knew, no one suspected too much, and it was in Castiel's eyes just perfect.

But on top of all that, Castiel knew Dean was struggling with deciding on the fate of his comatose father. With Sam constantly calling and texting for answers it was taking its toll on Dean.

So, on the 1st December, Dean came to a decision. Castiel waited in the apartment for him secretly as they both went to the hospital to say their goodbyes. The doctors confirmed that John Winchester was brain dead and he would never wake up, it broke Dean's heart when the machine was finally turned off. Dean watched as the heart monitor flat lined and could only hold back his own grief as he hugged Sam.

"At least he wasn't in any pain" Sam whispered pulling back and sighing deeply.

Dean didn't say a word as he took his dad's still hand and squeezed it gently. Dean had never been good with words for feelings and that simple gesture was enough as he walked out of the room ignoring Sam's calls for him and headed back to the apartment.

Castiel paced the apartment and turned when the door opened to reveal Dean. Dean flicked a glance up to him and swallowed hard slamming the door behind him.

"Cas, I'm not in the mood for anything right now" he said sharply dropping his keys and avoiding his eye contact. "Leave"

Castiel sniffed moving towards him and stopping in front of him meeting his eye line and shook his head.

"You need me" he whispered touching his cheek. Dean flinched at the contact but held still when Castiel looked over with him concerned eyes stroking a thumb across his cheeks.

"I can't believe he's gone" Dean whispered in a cracked voice. Castiel's heart broke when tears filled the green eyes and Dean looked away from breathing hard.

"No, Dean, it's good to cry…if you bottle it up then eventually it'll explode out of you in a rage or something worse" Castiel murmured pulling him close pressing his forehead against his.

"How would you know?" Dean whispered in a hard voice.

"I've lost parents, one to death, one to jail" he whispered back. "They are both gone and I knew not to bottle my grief"

Dean closed his eyes when Castiel wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere; it's my turn to take care of you now"

Dean gave a small sad smile opening his eyes and turning his head towards him.

"How are you so mature?"

"I'm eighteen in four days" he murmured with a shrug. "I have to start somewhere"

Dean stared at him and shook his head in disbelief. "You are too good for me"

"You're a bad liar"

Castiel took his hand and took him into the bedroom where he laid him down on the bed holding him close. Dean closed his eyes feeling a bitter tear leak out of the corner when Castiel held him against his chest stroking a hand into his hair.

"Tell me about him"

"You already know most of it" Dean murmured. "When I was young, my dad was the best daddy in the whole entire world. We kicked a ball around, he read me bedtime stories, he cuddled me when I fell over, and he was…the best. But it all changed when my mom died, he couldn't handle it. Dad had two children to look after and the woman he loved was dead, so he did the only thing that numbed the pain and drank"

Castiel held still when Dean shifted up looking towards the dark window.

"He'd drink, he'd come home and crash on the sofa, or he would go out to different states avoiding his duties. I stayed at home and I cared for Sammy, I became the father figure, the one he first walked to when he was a toddler, the one he cried for at night, it was only when he was taken to hospital with alcohol poisoning did he truly snap out of it"

"He stopped drinking, he stayed at home and he became our dad again in a way. It didn't work though and the lull of drink brought him back…drink is what ended him. He was drunk when he crashed into the truck" Dean said with a sniff. "I can't even remember the last thing I said to him when he was awake…I said goodbye to him in a coma, he never knew"

Castiel buried his face into his soft brown hair inhaling the musky smell of his shampoo.

"He knew…they always know, Dean" he whispered.

Dean chuckled sadly and peered up at him. "Thanks for this"

"I will never leave you, Dean"

Castiel stayed till he felt Dean snoring gently into his chest and sighed looking towards the alarm clock knowing he had to leave and now. Castiel moved him gently off him and onto the pillow; Dean snorted stretching out and cuddling the pillow hard.

Castiel smiled pressing a kiss to his temple and moved out to the kitchen scribbling down a note and leaving it on the pillow. Castiel pressed his lips together wondering whether to say it and blushed at the thought before giving in; he leaned in pressing his lips into his hair.

"I love you" he breathed softly before pulling away and leaving out of the room. Dean slept on oblivious to his words and dreamed off a warm chest and comforting words instead of the nightmare of losing another parent.

**~0~**

Castiel opened his eyes and moaned realising it was a new day, but the realisation hit him when he straightened up and realised what day it was. Castiel breathed out realising that a whole month had passed already, a whole month since he was perched on that kitchen counter telling Dean he was eighteen today.

The bonus of it being a Saturday brightened his day and he pushed off the covers pulling on warm clothes and walked downstairs carefully. Castiel looked around the empty living area suspiciously before confirming to his self that no one was in and they would be back later. Castiel pushed open the kitchen door and jumped in shock when a bellow of "Happy Birthday!" was screamed at him.

Castiel drew in a shaky breath clutching over his heart.

"Thank you, a fatal heart attack from my own brother and sister was just what I wanted" he hissed at Gabriel and Anna who laughed.

"My baby bro is the big eighteen!" Gabriel said pulling him into a rough hug. "Oh I feel emotional"

"You cry… I disown you" Castiel warned when he let go laughing loudly.

"Oh come here" Anna said opening her arms and hugging him tightly. Castiel welcomed this hug and smiled gently letting go of her.

"Do I have a present?"

"We saved for this" Anna said gesturing to the blue bag on the table. Castiel pulled it towards him and gasped pulling out the fancy new laptop.

"Top of the range, kiddo" Gabriel said munching on his toast.

"This is too much" he whispered looking between them.

"Don't be stupid" Anna said hitting him on the arm. "It's your 18th birthday and it's more than generous"

Castiel bit his lip and flushed looking away from them.

"Here, you have cards" Gabriel said rolling his eyes poking his side. Castiel chuckled shying away from him and opened them up seeing one from cousins across the county, one hand delivered from Jo, Ash, and Pamela, and one unknown. He smiled at his card from the three friends and placed it down on the table knowing they would pounce on him later. He picked up the unknown card and narrowed his eyes wondering if it was Dean but he knew Dean wouldn't be that reckless.

Castiel opened it up to see a teddy bear holding a, "Happy Birthday" sign and opened it up.

_**Castiel, **_

_**Happy eighteenth birthday, I am sorry.**_

_**Father.**_

Castiel threw the card on the table backing away and pointing a shaky hand at the card.

"How…how does he know where we live?" he whispered.

Anna frowned confused picking it up and paling a little showing it to Gabriel.

"That bastard" he hissed tossing it away from him. "They must have took our address down, those dicks"

Castiel grabbed it ripping in two and tossing the bits in the bin. "He's not my father; he's dead to me now"

"Cas, we know…"

"No! If he knows where we live, he can send cards to me despite what he did…what else can he do?" Castiel said with a sigh. "I just want to forget"

"We know…here" Anna said passing him the blue bag. "Go bond with it"

Castiel smirked clutching it. "Thank you"

"You're very welcome" Anna said watching him take off before getting the two pieces out of the bin. "How the hell did he send this?"

Gabriel looked down at them and shrugged. "I have no idea"

Castiel grabbed his phone shutting his door firmly shut and dialling his number.

"Birthday boy" Dean greeted him.

Castiel grinned sitting on the bed curling up on his side. "It feels strange"

"You're eighteen now, Cas, you are officially an adult" Dean said stretching out in the lonely bed. "You should be here so I can give you your present"

"You didn't…" he whispered sitting up.

"What if I did?" he teased.

"Dean" he hissed down the phone. "I told you not to get me anything"

"Tough shit, Cas, I did and you're going to accept it" Dean said running a hand into his hair.

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh no, no, no, today is your day. No funeral business, calls from people I don't know wishing their best wishes, just you" Dean protested thumping his fist down. Castiel sighed swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"I want to spend it with you"

"I'd like that, Cas, but you also have family and friends who also want to spend it with you too"

"My father sent me a card" Castiel murmured picking at a thread on the bed. The silence on the other end was deafening.

"Dean?"

"That son of a bitch!" Dean shouted loudly.

"I threw it away, I don't want anything to do with him" Castiel said with a sad sigh. "Can I come around?"

"What about Gabriel and Anna?"

"They are getting me a takeaway dinner tonight and afterwards, I am going to Ellen's pub for drinks with Jo, Pamela, and Ash" Castiel replied. "I want to spend the morning and the afternoon with you"

"Okay, come round when you want"

Castiel smiled like a lovesick puppy and hung up stroking a hand over the bag. Quickly dressing in a tight blue t-shirt which brought out his eyes and his black jeans, he headed downstairs to see Gabriel and Anna in a heated debate.

"I'm going out"

"Lover boy?" Gabriel teased.

"No" he said flushing a deep red.

"Leave him alone, Gabe; just remember to be back for six!" Anna cried out to him when he moved to the door heading out.

"Promise" Castiel called back wrapping his coat around him tightly and heading out into the snow.

**~0~**

Dean opened the apartment door suddenly when he knocked and pulled him into a rough kiss. Castiel squeaked surprised and moaned when he dragged him inside and pushed him against the door.

"That was a nice hello" Castiel murmured with a smirk when he pulled away.

"Happy birthday" Dean whispered against his lips.

"Thank you" Castiel whispered back when Dean kissed him again pinning his hands against the wall. "What's my present?"

"Should I give you the first half?" Dean growled against his throat. "It involves us being a lot sweatier and closer than this"

"Fuck yes" Castiel swore pushing him back and shredding off his clothing as Dean dragged towards the couch. Dean pulled at Castiel's t-shirt throwing it over his shoulder and pulling down his own sweatpants.

"Lie down and spread your legs" Dean ordered shoving him down on the couch. Castiel panted staring up at him with wide eyes when he shuffled up on the leather couch spreading his legs wide inviting him in. Dean moaned low dropping down on his knees on the soft couch and slipping his hands down Castiel's cold thighs. Castiel moaned ardently when he dragged his nails down the pale skin leaving pink marks before moving up and slowly sliding his underwear down.

Dean drew in a breath when his cock bobbed up red, achingly hard, glistening with pre-cum. Castiel gasped throwing his head back when he swirled his tongue across the head collecting the pre-cum on his tongue and swallowing down the bitter taste. Hollowing out his cheeks, Dean took him in fully sucking hard on the sensitive cock. Castiel moaned rolling his hips upwards fucking into his mouth and wrapping two fists into short brown hair urging him on.

"Yes, Dean, yes, that's it" he panted out when Dean licked and swallowed him down. Castiel moaned long and hard when his orgasm erupted inside him and he spilled hot cum down Dean's throat. Dean swallowed every drop and pulled off him licking his bottom lip and casting his eyes up to see him panting breathless.

Dean smirked feeling a sense of pride and grabbed the lube off the table and held it up. Castiel whimpered and grunted when Dean gripped his waist pulling him towards him. Dean slicked his fingers rubbing against the entrance gently watching him writhe and grip the leather with sharp nails.

"Dean, please!" he pleaded thrusting his hips desperate for anything. Dean hummed amused sliding a finger into the tight heat widening and scissoring him open slowly, Castiel panted breathless and moaned pressing his hands over his eyes.

"You bastard" Castiel growled struggling up and climbing into his lap. Dean blinked surprised and aroused when he stared at him flushed and sweaty.

"Ride me" Dean muttered with a smirk. Castiel stared at him for a long moment before kissing him suddenly pressing his tongue into the warm heat rising up and angling himself before sinking onto him. Dean pulled away with a gasp gripping the side of his ribs.

"You're so hot" Dean muttered spreading his legs wider looking up at him when he adjusted to him and let out a keening cry.

"Move, Cas" he ordered with a gasp when Castiel slammed back down on him. Castiel closed his eyes at the sensations flooding inside him as he rode Dean slamming down hard on his cock inside him feeling a wave of warmth and pleasure pulsate inside him.

A drop of sweat slid down Dean's collarbone catching Castiel's attention when he arched against his chest, he slid his mouth down sucking on the bone hard. Dean gasped gripping the back of his hair yanking him back claiming the swollen lips and devouring his mouth.

"Cas" Dean moaned breathless when he felt an ache inside him.

"Come for me, Dean, I want to feel it" Castiel whispered riding him harder so Dean's moans increased and he gripped the back of hair coming inside him with a sharp cry. Castiel groaned pressing his forehead against Dean's heated shoulder feeling the warm rush inside him and slumped against him.

"Shit" Dean whispered stunned and turned his face pressing a kiss to his nose. Castiel smiled pulling back and lifting off him feeling cum trickle down his legs and settled down on the sofa next to him.

"Happy birthday to me" he murmured feeling exhausted, sated, but very happy.

Dean swallowed with a small smile before holding up a finger and getting up. Castiel looked at his ass as he walked out and raised an eyebrow amused.

Dean came back with a wrapped present and handed it to him with a small smile. Castiel sat up wrapping the fluffy couch cover around him while Dean pulled back on his sweatpants.

Castiel opened it up and blinked surprised to see a Toy Story trilogy of all three movies of DVD in front of him. Dean watched him carefully and held still when he reached over for him kissing him deeply.

"I love it! Dean, this is…" he said losing words and instead kissed him. Dean smiled pulling him into his lap so Castiel could wrap his legs around him.

"It's your favourite film and we should all keep a little bit of our childhood when we turn eighteen"

"What did you get?"

"A pendant off Sam, I keep it in my drawer" Dean said when Castiel frowned rubbing his bare neck.

"It's weird you being twenty six"

"Thanks for reminding me of my age, Cas" Dean said rolling his eyes.

Castiel looked back to the DVD and turned back to him. "I want to watch them all, Dean, with you"

"You want to spend all afternoon, watching Toy Story, drinking and eating, whilst being in each other's company?"

"Is that a problem?" Castiel questioned concerned.

Dean shook his head slowly with a slow spreading smile. "It's your birthday, so I'll be a big soppy girl for one day"

Castiel gasped when he tickled his sides and fell back on the couch chuckling.

"Go get a shower" Dean ordered slapping his bare ass hard. Castiel squeaked scrambling up and darting off to the shower leaving Dean on his own with his thoughts.

A wave of pain hit him as he thought of his dad and his own grieving brother currently at home with his child and wife. The funeral was being planned by Sam who knew Dean couldn't handle it personally. So close to Christmas, it hurt like a bitch, but that ache was soothed by Castiel.

But Dean couldn't help feeling guilty. What would his dad say if he knew what he was doing with a guy 9 years younger than him, a student, and a teenager?

Dean decided to not dwell on it as he sat back on the couch inhaling the smell of sex and sweat and knowing he was happy.

**~0~**

So that was how they ended up, curled up with a blanket wrapped around them with Castiel in between Dean's legs resting against his back watching Toy Story 2.

Dean smiled pressing a gentle kiss to the back of his neck when Castiel twined their fingers together.

"I want to spend Christmas with you" Castiel muttered softly. "I want to greet 2012 with you as well"

Dean didn't reply as he leaned his cheek against the back of his hair desperately wanting the same but when were things that perfect? He had what he wanted now but who knew what was around the corner. Neither of them wanted to think about the future yet but with Dean falling further and further under this spell, he knew one or both of them were going to hurt; it was just a matter of when.

**A/N: A little angst, cuteness, smut, and a hint that this not going to be happiness forever. Love triangle anyone? Muahaha! I am saying nothing. I am just so good to you all.**

**Enjoy, feedback, you know the drill. **


	15. Chapter 15

Castiel picked up the picture frame on the little table and smiled softly, it was a picture of a younger Dean and what appeared to be his father next to him. Today was the funeral so Castiel had snuck into the apartment waiting for him to get back.

Dean sighed rubbing his tired eyes. The ceremony was quick with few guests and Dean had refused to go back to Sam's. Small talk and friendly words were not on his to do list right now. Sliding the key in the door, all Dean wanted was sleep and food.

Castiel looked towards the door and held still when Dean entered throwing his keys on the table, he looked up and blinked startled.

"Cas? What are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be alone after the funeral so I snuck in"

"How?"

"Someone was coming out as I was coming in…and I stole the spare key" Castiel murmured holding up the silver key. Dean chuckled walking over to him and grabbed it off him.

"Sneaky little devil"

"Maybe" Castiel murmured reaching up and combing his fingers through his hair. "How was it?"

"A funeral, boring, sad, and a typical Sunday morning" Dean murmured welcoming his embrace as he held him close.

Castiel smiled when he nuzzled his neck gently.

"That's why I'm here; I didn't want you to be alone. Why didn't you go to the wake?"

"Small talk with people I hardly know didn't sound appealing, anyway, Sam has Jess to take care of him" Dean murmured pressing his nose into his hair and inhaling. "You smell nice"

"Recently showered" he said pulling back. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to eat and sleep" Dean murmured rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"We can do both…or I can leave" he murmured seeing the look in his eyes when he looked up at him.

"No, you can stay" Dean said with a smirk glancing at the kitchen. "Go make me food"

"Ordering me around?"

"Well if you want to take care of me, it's a good start" he said turning him around and shoving him towards the kitchen. Castiel turned to glare at him but he was already gone retreating to the bedroom to take off his funeral clothes and into more comfortable clothing. Castiel stood at the oven cooking the burger he had demanded drifting off into thought. Next week would be the start of the Christmas holidays and Castiel wanted nothing more to spend it with him and not have to worry about anyone finding out.

Gabriel and Anna were not suspicious yet but their questions about his "mystery person" were constant, Jo and Pamela knew he was hiding a secret, and Castiel would never tell Dean this but he wanted them to know. He wanted the people he cared about to know what he was doing, who he was secretly seeing and not feeling like he was a dirty little secret.

Castiel passed the plate to Dean who groaned in relief taking it off him and sat down watching him tuck into the burger. It hurt even more for Castiel that Dean didn't even know how he truly felt about him now.

"Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to spend Christmas with you"

Dean choked a little on his burger and coughed putting it down before facing him.

"Do you think that's wise? Cas, we can't spend Christmas day together, my family come here for Christmas because I have bigger space"

Castiel narrowed his eyes at him and looked away. "Wise? We sleep together every weekend; we've had sex on your desk, in a cupboard, on this couch. We were nearly caught together by juniors, we've gone to a park on a snow day to bond with each other and now when I ask to spend time with you on Christmas…you question it?"

Dean swallowed back the lump in his throat and bit down on his lip knowing he was right.

"The 26th then"

"What?"

"The day after Christmas? It's still Christmas in a way, we can celebrate it" Dean said with a shrug. "It's the best I can offer, my family comes around, Cas, you have your family who will want to spend it with you"

"I don't want to spend it with them"

Dean sighed covering his eyes taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"Well, I don't care. You are not coming around here for Christmas and that's that" Dean said holding a hand up and avoiding his eye contact.

Castiel bit his tongue and struggled inwardly as his emotions twisted and turned inside him.

"Fine" he whispered getting up and heading towards the door.

"Oh storming out because Castiel can't have his own way? Very mature!" Dean shouted at him. Castiel turned around to face him brewing with anger.

"No, I'm getting out of here because if I stay I'll do something I'll regret"

Dean snorted with laughter with a malicious look in his eye. "You're acting like a child who has been told no; I am doing this for a reason! I can't spend Christmas with you, Cas, because it would be wrong"

"Oh yes, very wrong, it must be as wrong as fucking on your desk, Dean. It must also be as wrong as also fucking in your bed! So maybe we should stop that too?" he shouted back at him.

Dean sobered up and blanked out for a second before shaking his head to clear it.

"What? No, I didn't mean that, Cas!" he protested.

"It's reckless, Dean, it's always reckless behaviour. I asked for one thing"

"Yeah, well you know what, Cas, you always ask and I always give! I give into you…but not this time"

Castiel looked down at his shoes and nodded. "I'll see you around, Dean"

"What?" Dean said standing up when he moved to the door. "Are you seriously leaving like this?"

"Like what?" Castiel questioned opening the door. "I am being careful now, no more reckless behaviour, Dean"

"Stop acting like a baby, Cas"

"Fuck you, Dean" Castiel muttered slamming the door as he walked out and down the stairs. Dean stared at the white front door feeling a slam of déjà vu from the very beginning when he spoke to Castiel on the phone. Dean couldn't quite get a grip on what happened just there and stepped back exhaling a shaky breath.

Castiel stopped at the end of the street and hit his forehead hard. "You're so stupid"

He knew he had just acted like a spoilt brat who couldn't get their own way and had a temper tantrum. But with a whir of emotions inside him, Castiel had the right to explode with them all. He sighed kicking a stone and headed off home.

**~0~**

"Last day of term!" Pamela sang as they stepped outside in the freezing snow. "Come on, guys, smile"

Pamela glanced at Jo who smiled at her and to Castiel who was lost in his own thoughts.

"Okay, Casanova, what the hell is going on? It's the last day and you look like you are two seconds from crying, sweetheart" Pamela said poking him in the chest.

"I'm okay, where's Ash?"

"At home, he never comes in on the last day" Jo said rolling her eyes.

Castiel nodded kicking at the frozen snow feeling a sore spot inside him spread. He hadn't spoken to Dean in two days since their little fight; he had ignored the calls, the texts, and purposely avoided him in school because he felt wounded and ashamed of himself.

"I'm going back inside" he said to the both of them and headed back ignoring their concerned looks.

"There is something going on with him" Pamela murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"That our little Casanova is hiding something big!" Pamela hissed. "I sure do want to find out"

"He'll tell us in his own time, Pam, Cas is a shy one…always has been since the beginning of school"

Pamela hummed looking at the doors tapping her foot and linking her arms into Jo's. "Let's go spy on fit guys"

Castiel wandered towards the history room and hovered outside the door wondering if he would be inside and would he want to speak. Seizing the day, Castiel knocked and waited till Dean called out for whoever it was to come on in. Dean looked up when the door opened and sat back when Castiel walked in and stood near the door.

"Hello, Dean"

"Hey, Cas"

Castiel moved forward slowly till he reached the desk and bit his lip looking down at the lino.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I acted like a big child and I shouldn't have said that stuff to you or ignored you. I was just upset and I know I have no right because of our situation" Castiel said quickly. "Can you forgive me?"

Dean stared at him for a long moment before getting up off his seat and moving to the door. Castiel held in a breath just waiting for him to open it and order him out but Dean did the opposite to what he thought and locked it before heading around to face him.

"Come here"

Castiel put his bag on the desk before walking over to him confused but elated as he reached him. Dean looked him up and down for a long second appraising him before tilting his chin up peering into his eyes.

"Do you realise how pathetically lonely I've been for two days?"

"Yes" Castiel whispered parting his lips when he rubbed a thumb over his bottom lip.

"It's pathetic really" Dean murmured before pushing him towards the wall next to the door and kissing him hard. Castiel groaned hands reaching up and gripping his hair as it deepened, Dean ground his hips against his and pulled back breathless watching him closely. Castiel whimpered clinging to him and whispered his apologies against his cheek.

"I'm sorry" "I missed you" "I don't want to lose this, lose us"

"You're a dick" Dean murmured but with an affectionate tint to his voice looking him once over. "But you're my dick"

Castiel smiled at the insulting but possessive insult and nodded eagerly.

"I think we need to have amazing makeup sex" Dean murmured nipping at his bottom lip.

"Now?"

"No, I have a class in ten minutes but…come to mine after school ends, we end early today"

"Okay" Castiel whispered with a grin feeling happiness for the first time in two days. "I'll see you later"

Dean smirked watching him leave and closed his eyes feeling a wave of relief course inside him. The last two days had been hell. Grieving for your dad whilst worrying about a forbidden affair ending wasn't the best way to feel at the moment, Dean hated the way it made him feel.

It still amazed him how quickly he responded to Castiel and like a lustful disease it had spread through him. Dean was a very co-dependant person and Castiel wasn't going anywhere.

**~0~**

2pm came and went quickly and before he knew it, Castiel was stood outside his front door curiously eager to see him. He knocked quickly and smiled innocently when Dean opened it dragging him inside him.

"You took your time"

"Sorry, dropped my bag off" Castiel murmured hitting the wall and groaning when Dean pressed his body weight against him devouring his mouth. Dean tasted like apple and berry which made Castiel's mouth water and his insides scream for more as they stripped off their clothing in the hallway.

"Shit" Dean whispered shoving him onto the floor desperate for more skin. Castiel moaned spreading his legs wide for him as Dean kissed down his chest, over his scar, and down to his cock.

"I have no lube, no condoms" Dean hissed sitting up. Castiel groaned glaring at him before grabbing his jean and shoving a small blue tube at him.

"You carry lube around?"

"You like to fuck me anywhere, Dean, I need to be prepared"

Dean chuckled lightly moving down and kissing him roughly, Castiel groaned dragging his nails down his arms and pulling back with a gasp when Dean breached him with his fingers.

"More!" Castiel ordered rolling his hips panting wantonly.

"You're a dirty boy aren't you, Cas?" Dean hissed down at him. "Say it"

Castiel cried out when the fingers twisted and scissored him wider. "Yes, yes"

"Say it!"

"I'm a dirty boy, Dean, please" he pleaded feeling sweat cover his back and forehead as he writhed on the floor feeling carpet burn already. Dean grinned removing them slowly liking the power off him.

"Slut" Dean murmured pulling his hips towards him and sliding inside the wet hole. Castiel gasped gripping his shoulders and tightening his thighs around him, the burn a delicious sensation as Dean slammed hard inside him.

Dean pinned his arms down slamming and thrusting inside his tight hole feeling the hot white heat burst inside him. The air was filled with the sounds of skin on skin slapping against each other as Dean bottomed out inside him feeling his balls slap against his ass cheeks.

Castiel murmured his name over and over again with harsh pants sliding his hands down to cup his ass pressing him even deeper inside him. Dean exhaled sharply in his ear feeling Castiel's erection digging into his stomach and pulled back wrapping a hand around the red cock pumping him hard. Castiel near enough screamed when his orgasm came and he climaxed hard shooting onto his stomach and hand.

The orgasm pushed Dean over as he immediately followed with a quick thrust inside him shooting his own cum deep inside him. Castiel moaned weakly when Dean faltered leaning on his elbows breathing hard as not to crush him.

Dean breathed out feeling sweat on his top brow and winced at the carpet burn on his knees and legs. He gripped his wrists pulling him up and out of him as Castiel sat on his lap straddling him trembling.

Dean shushed him pressing kisses down his neck lovingly and so gentle. Castiel moaned pressing his forehead against his shoulder feeling lightheaded and delirious.

"I love you" he whispered into the crook of his neck. "I love you"

Dean opened his eyes startled and pulled back slowly to look at him. Castiel stilled biting down on his swollen bottom lip horrified at his own words.

"What did you say?" Dean whispered gripping his wrists so he couldn't move away.

"Nothing"

"No, what did you say?" Dean said gripping them tightly.

Castiel winced shaking his head. "I'm sorry"

Dean blanched shocked and shook his head letting go of one wrist cupping the side of his neck.

"Say it, Cas"

"I-I said…I love you" he whispered desperately afraid of his reaction.

Dean blinked clearly hearing it right and let go of his wrist and neck startled. "Okay"

"Dean?"

"I wasn't expecting that" he whispered looking away.

Castiel covered his face moaning in agony. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"Cas?"

"I should have never told you! It just came out, you were being so gentle with me and I just…I'm so sorry" Castiel said moving off him and dressing quickly. "I…I now feel stupid because…"

"Because?" Dean said still shocked and staring up at him from the floor.

"Because you didn't say it back"

Dean's eyes went wide and he looked away equally horrified. Castiel swallowed covering his eyes feeling like the world's biggest fool. He didn't understand how he could have said it.

"Dean?"

"I think you should go" Dean whispered still staring at his carpet.

Castiel gaped at him shocked pulling his askew jacket closer around him.

"Dean…"

"Go, Cas" Dean said getting up startling him and moving towards his bedroom slamming the door behind him. Castiel breathed out shakily and covered his mouth fighting back the tears, because for the first time he felt used.

Dean sat down on the bed suddenly and dropped his head into his hands feeling the whole situation erupt into a world that terrified him. Castiel's words had scared him, he wasn't meant to feel that way about him. Not now, not ever.

Dean heard the front door click closed and felt a stab of pain for leaving him like that. They had sex, he said the three little words that were so fitting for the moment and once again, Dean panicked and threw his walls up.

"Shit" he whispered closing his eyes feeling like a jackass. No one deserved that and certainly not him and certainly not when Dean felt that same feelings hidden deep in that heart.

Castiel sat on the bench in the little park feeling the tears slide down his cheeks and knew it was going to be the worst Christmas ever. Who knew that three little words would kill something down like it was nothing? Castiel swallowed wiping away his tears and catching sight of something and looked up to see a moving truck moving a family inside to a house, he caught sight of a very well taken care couple who looked mildly rich and a young boy around his age staring at him from across the road.

He noticed the brown hair, hint of a beard on his chin, and quizzical eyes watching him, Castiel straightened up confused and blinked when he heard the woman call out to him.

"Balthazar!"

**A/N: Oh drama, drama, drama. I think this is going to be a long fic, guys; I have a lot of ideas for this story. I hope you don't mind. **

**Enjoy! **


	16. Chapter 16

"Okay, spit it out right now! You have been miserable since you left school on Tuesday, it's Friday now and you are still miserable" Gabriel said pushing Castiel down on the couch.

"I'm fine!" he protested. "Just a few things going on"

"To do with lover boy"

"Leave me alone" Castiel murmured struggling up.

"No, no, stay where you are and tell me what's going on" Gabriel ordered shoving him down.

"No! Leave me alone, Gabriel" he snapped pushing him back and storming towards the door.

"You better snap out of this before Christmas Day, Castiel, or I swear to god I'll stick you in a room full of Disney songs" Gabriel warned. Castiel glared at him before walking out of the house and heading across the street. He sighed pulling out his phone and staring down at the empty screen, no messages and no phone calls. Castiel refused to call him or message him and it seemed Dean felt the same way.

Castiel sighed walking into his own little park. No one was ever in there so Castiel claimed it as his own. He sat down on the little bench looking around the icy park, little snow was left after recent rainfall and it was scarily icy.

Castiel mused hovering over Dean's number knowing it was a bad idea but he missed him, he didn't want to spend this particular Christmas without him, he loved the ass.

He was about to press the call button when a cough interrupted him and he looked up to see a familiar face.

"Well I guess this is fate"

"I recognise you…you've just moved in" Castiel said putting his phone away.

"May I?" he said gesturing to the seat next to him. Castiel nodded watching him closely as he dropped down next to him casual and carefree.

"Who are you again?"

"Balthazar" he said with a smile.

"Castiel" he murmured shifting away from him.

Balthazar tilted his head back and nodded once. "Name suits you"

Castiel eyed him and looked away back to the ground.

"So where do you move from?"

"New York"

"The Big Apple? Why would you move to Washington?"

"Dad pissed off his old boss, we had to get out. So here we are, we have a brand new house and I have a brand new school"

"What school?"

"Cardozo"

"That's where I am! What grade?" Castiel said brightening up automatically.

"12th" Balthazar murmured with a wrinkle of his nose. "Finishing my finals in another school"

"I'm new as well, me and my family moved here in September from Colorado"

Balthazar smiled raking his eyes up and down him. "It's just meant to be"

Castiel flushed kicking his foot on the ground feeling shy and awkward.

"So why are you here talking to me?"

"Well I recognised you from Tuesday…you were crying" Balthazar replied looking up at greyish blue sky. "I usually buy a guy a drink before I see him that vulnerable"

Castiel swallowed shrugging his shoulders and playing with the cusp of his jacket.

"I have a problem; it hit me hard that day"

"Anything I can help you with?"

Castiel shook his head giving him a small smile in return and leaned back on the bench.

"Just a guy…he was unusually harsh with me"

"Relationship problems?" Balthazar questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Why do you suspect that?"

"I don't mean to offend! But it seemed like a relationship problem…" Balthazar said raising his hands in surrender.

"You don't even know me" Castiel snapped and then sobered feeling bad. "I'm sorry"

"It's fine" Balthazar murmured amused.

"I'm not the best company in the world" Castiel said after a minute of silence. "I'm sorry again"

"You apologise a lot, Castiel, and for nothing, you have nothing to be sorry for. This relationship problem… is it your fault?"

"I said something I shouldn't have"

"Was it bad?" Balthazar said turning to face him dead on.

Castiel was silent for a moment looking at his warm eyes and shook his head.

"No, it was actually…nice, something everyone wants to hear"

"So what did he do?"

"He chucked me out and now he's ignoring me" Castiel whispered.

"So…you've done nothing wrong at all and he's the one in the wrong"

"Yes" Castiel said feeling almost relieved and pulled back to appraise him. Balthazar was so laid back with spiked blonde brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a cheeky smile. Castiel instantly liked him.

"You're wise"

"You're cute"

Castiel blinked and flushed looking away from him. "You barely know me"

Balthazar grinned at his flushed pink cheeks and sighed deeply peering up at the sky.

"I'd like to know you, I'm new, you're new, so let's be friends"

"That simple?"

"Why must life be so complicated?"

Castiel chuckled shrugging once and picked at his jacket. "I don't know"

"Friends?"

"Friends" Castiel said looking over to him. They stared at each for a long moment before Castiel's phone rang startling him. Castiel pulled it out and gasped a little seeing, "D" flash up on the screen.

"I-I have to take this" he said moving away and answering the call. "Hello?"

"Cas" Dean said sitting up on the couch and closing his eyes in relief. "Hey"

"Finally calling me? It's only been three days"

"Cas, listen…just come round, please?"

"Why should I?"

"Just! Please?" Dean cried down the phone frustrated.

Castiel let out a sigh glancing back to Balthazar who was thumbing through his own phone. He knew he had to go and looked across to the snowy park.

"Fine" he said quickly and hung up pocketing his phone and spinning around to face Balthazar.

"I have to go"

Balthazar nodded standing up moving towards him slowly, Castiel inhaled slowly watching as he reached into his pocket pulling out his phone and typing in a number.

"My number" Balthazar murmured flicking his eyes up to the blue and smirking. "Anytime, I'll be there"

"Okay" he breathed looking down at his screen and back up to see his retreating back walking out of the park. Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat feeling nervous and waited until he couldn't see him before setting off to Dean's. It was time to sort this out.

**~0~**

Castiel stormed towards the door and pounded on the door till Dean opened it up alarmed.

"Cas" he murmured watching him storm in and face him.

"Three days! I didn't bother calling _you_ or messaging _you_, Dean, because _you _chucked me out right after I told you I loved you. Why did you do that?" Castiel said gritting his teeth and clenching his hands into tight balls.

"I freaked out, Cas, it's not every day you hear that!"

"What? I love you? Dean, when someone you are supposed to care about tells you something as important and as personal as that you do not throw them out!" he shouted watching Dean flinch and sit down heavily on his bar stool.

"I'm sorry"

"What am I to you, Dean, a casual fuck every day?"

"No! Cas, how can you think that?" Dean said outraged slamming his palms on the table. "You know you are much more to me than a casual fuck, Cas"

"Then tell me what I am, Dean, because one moment I'm with you and I am telling you that I love you and the next I'm sat alone in a park wondering what I've done wrong"

"Cas…" Dean said standing up and reaching out for him. Castiel shook his head stepping back refusing to let him touch him.

"Tell me!"

"You're everything, Cas! You are fucking everything to me and that scares me to death!" Dean shouted back at him. "I didn't expect you to say that to me, not now, not ever, because we're wrong, Cas, we can't have a future!"

"Why not?" Castiel murmured in shock falling back to lean on the couch arm.

"Why not? Cas, we're teacher and student. It doesn't matter what we feel for each other because no matter what…this will end. Do you really think we can carry on like this forever?"

"Yes" he murmured feeling uncertain but knowing he had to keep this no matter what.

Dean shook his head and looked away from him opening and closing his mouth like he was choking on his own words. Castiel panicked moving forward and cupping the sides of his neck forcing him to look at him.

"I leave school in a few months' time, I do my finals and I leave. By leaving, I no longer will be your student so we can be together"

"Cas, that's wishful thinking" Dean whispered reaching out and touching his cheek softly. "No one will accept us even if you do leave school and be with me. No one will believe that a student is now with a teacher without something going on before"

"To hell with them! This about us, Dean, not them"

"It has everything to do with them" Dean replied stroking his cheek. "Our families, our friends, even now we are playing a risky game here"

"So, we end and go our separate ways?"

"You're going to become a doctor, Cas" Dean said removing his hand from his cheek with a sigh.

"Yeah, of course…spend ten years of my life becoming a doctor and end up all alone with a highly paid job"

"Don't be daft" Dean said moving away from him towards the kitchen.

Castiel could feel the burn of tears rise up in his throat and eyes, he clutched his hands tightly together not knowing what to do or say to him.

"Maybe I should just get with the guy I met instead" Castiel said casually pulling out his phone. He looked up to see Dean looking over to him confused.

"I was with a guy called Balthazar before you called…"

"What?" Dean said immediately moving towards him.

"Yeah, just came over to me all carefree, casual, and happy enough to sit with me" Castiel said smiling satisfied. "Gave me his number and told me to call him whenever and he'll be there…he's nice and he's just moved in as well. He is also joining school after Christmas"

Castiel gasped when Dean snatched the phone off him and stared at the number.

"You're joking right"

"I don't joke" he whispered.

Dean flexed his jaw seeing the number and tossed the phone on the couch.

"Real cute, Cas"

"Well why not? You keep saying that we have no future, we can't be together, so why not be with someone who I can love" he hissed at him. Dean breathed out deeply feeling a surge of possessiveness when he turned slowly to see Castiel stood standing tall and determined like a solider.

"Because you're not allowed" he murmured.

"I'm not allowed" Castiel muttered astonished and pointed a finger at him. "You do not control me, Dean"

"No, I don't but all I know is that three days ago you said you loved me and that must mean something"

"It does"

Dean held out his hand for him waiting for Castiel to make the first move, he eyed it wearily before inching forward and linking their hands together.

"I freaked, Cas, because it's the only thing I know to do. I'm not good at confessing feelings like you are and you scared me" Dean murmured softly pressing his forehead against his. "I'm so sorry for chucking you out, Cas, I regret it more than anything but I can't take it back now. I don't want this to end"

"I don't want it either" he injected quickly.

"It terrifies me, Castiel, because if someone finds out then we are over for good…you do know that don't you?"

Castiel nodded closing his eyes moaning softly when Dean kissed under his ear.

"This Balthazar…is he really real?" he whispered.

"Yes"

Dean gritted his teeth moving his hand to the small of his back keeping him close to him and pulled back to look into his eyes.

"You like him?"

"I barely know him, Dean, we spoke for fifteen minutes before you called" Castiel replied glancing over to his nose. "But he's nice enough; he wants to be my friend"

"Oh I'm sure he does" Dean murmured bitterly.

"What I said…"

"Just give me time, Cas, and let me get to grips with my own feelings first" Dean said interrupting him. Castiel nodded quickly kissing the corner of his mouth and groaning when Dean slipped his hands down cupping his ass bringing him flush against his chest.

"I've missed you"

"Don't think you're getting off that easily" Castiel warned reaching down and removing his hands. "I've missed you too but tonight, we're going to talk about everything"

"Everything?"

"Where we stand, Dean, because I will be honest with you…I know our own future hangs in an uncertain balance and I know we'll never be able to fully be together without judgement" Castiel said in a stern tone. "But I refuse to give this up"

"I could go to jail, Cas"

"That won't happen" Castiel whispered eyes full of determined devotion just for him, Dean felt a general unease when he cupped his cheek.

"You can't know that, Cas, no one knows what the future will bring and there' no such thing as happily ever after"

"We make our own futures, Dean, free will"

Dean snorted looking down at the joined hands and felt a shadow of disbelief.

"You want a future with me?"

"Yes" Castiel said bluntly. Dean stared at him for a second before moving in and capturing his lips with his own, Castiel removed his hands and wrapped them around his neck slowly matching his heated kiss.

"You're going to be the death of me" Dean murmured pulling away avoiding his eye contact.

"You'll get me killed" he whispered back with an amused glint to his eyes.

Dean looked up to him once again narrowing his eyes. "You turning this into some fucked up, Romeo & Romeo?"

"No, but if we are going down then we are going down together, Dean. This is our mess and no man, woman, or even law is going to stop me from doing this"

"You're crazy" Dean murmured amused wrapping his arms around him rubbing his nose against his.

"I am about you"

"You cheesy sonofabitch" Dean murmured with a chuckle.

Castiel sighed knowing he lost his determination and watched him as he pulled away to make two cups of coffee. Dean didn't notice him when he moved down to pick up his mobile phone and brought up Balthazar's number. Balthazar helped him and he deserved a thank you.

**What you said at the park really helped. Thank you.**

**Cas. **

Castiel sent the message with a small smile looking back to Dean who obliviously hummed into the fridge now. Moments later a reply came and he glanced down to read it.

**Balthazar.**

**Helping out cute strange boys is just a day's work, darling. **

**I would like to see you again; I need showing around this stupid neighbourhood.**

**Call?**

Castiel' smile faltered at what he read and he gasped when Dean's arms wound around his waist dropping his head to his shoulder. Dean's eyes narrowed as he took in the text and felt his chest constrict. Castiel quickly closed the message and pocketed it.

"I think I've made a new friend" he murmured softly.

"Hmm" Dean replied indifferently letting him go and walk to the couch to sit down. Dean breathed out of his sore chest and stared at Castiel fitting perfectly into his couch. Dean was clever in his own way; he knew this guy was going to be no friend for Castiel but a new love rival for Dean. Dean sat down carefully and watched as Castiel put his cup down and moved into his side curling up against it like a little cat.

How are you supposed to fight for something that is meant to be forbidden and off limits to you with a perfect rival, the same age, happy, carefree, and possibly perfect for the one you actually loved?

Dean had no clue and with the future uncertain for the both of them, this was going to be a hard fight for him to maintain. Dean trailed his fingers into the black soft hair clinging to the knowledge that Castiel did love him but how long did he have before a new affection pushed its way in?

**A/N: I hate this chapter. I don't know what's wrong with me…**

**Also, a person commented on whether Castiel will sleep with Balthazar! No, he won't! There won't be any of that…he's going to stir a lot of things but none of that…**

**Feedback would be nice and I give you hugs for 7.17 if you are watching it. **


	17. Chapter 17

Dean blinks out of his sleep that next morning and smiles softly seeing Castiel tucked into his side, their arms and legs intertwined together and snoring softly. Dean raises his hand stroking his hand into the soft hair massaging the scalp just watching him sleep. Dean marvels over how beautiful he really is with eye lashes just shy of brushing his cheeks, a rosy pink tint to his cheeks and hint of stubble that Dean adored.

He was beautiful, lean, and of an age where he can have anything or anyone that takes his fancy. That little fact terrified Dean.

Dean brought his lips down kissing softly under his ear and smiling on the skin when Castiel moaned and moved his head away.

"Sleeping" he whispered pushing his face away.

"You're too desirable for your own good" Dean whispered stroking his fingers down his face.

Castiel smiled sleepily for a moment before sighing and untangling himself to roll away.

Dean regarded him before rolling towards him and pressing his chest against his warm back.

"I have an idea" he whispered into his ear.

"What?"

"Let's stay in bed all day" Dean murmured pressing his nose into the crease of his neck and inhaling the musky sweet smell. "I want to make it up to you"

Castiel snorted softly opening his sore sleepy eyes and turned his head to meet his gaze.

"Having sex all day? That's a lot of soreness"

"I'll make it better" Dean whispered kissing him fiercely. Castiel groaned as their lips met and their tongues slid together in a hot wet kiss. Dean moaned when he pulled away and sighed nestling in the pillow.

"I'm tired"

"We have all day to sleep!" Dean protested nibbling on his ear.

"Dean, I will hurt you"

Dean gave a dry laugh poking him in the sides making him squirm and laugh rolling towards him.

"You're evil" he murmured with a chuckle and a smile when Dean slotted himself in between his thighs.

"Yeah…but that's because I like you" Dean murmured kissing down his chest taking his time over his scar. Castiel moaned feeling the warm heat on the sensitive scarring and moved his hands up gripping the short brown hair.

"I'm sure…sure you like me more than that" Castiel stuttered when he sucked on his nipple hard taking the little bud into his mouth.

"Yeah" Dean said thoughtfully mapping out his hands over the sides of his ribs. Castiel's breathe hitched when he pressed a kiss over his belly button and Dean smiled when Castiel moaned his name. He never, ever, wanted to give hearing that, Dean felt sick at the thought of anyone else doing this to him and that's when a certain name flew to his mind.

"Hey, you know that…guy you met in that park who texted you…you're not gonna meet him are you?" Dean questioned peering up at him. Castiel looked back down with confused dazed eyes and shrugged one shoulder.

"I haven't decided yet…" he murmured raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Dean hummed in distaste resuming kissing downwards and to his thighs kissing the soft skin. Castiel moaned low feeling the blood rush down hardening his cock and hissed when Dean bit into the soft skin with a growl.

"You're an animal" Castiel breathed watching him as wrapped a hand around the shaft of his cock and sucked on the end like a lollipop.

"Shit!" Castiel breathed arching his back off the bed bucking his hips into the warm canvas of his mouth aching for more. Dean obliged sucking hard hollowing out his cheeks as he sucked him down hitting the back of his throat; he ignored the gag reflex and moved his tongue up the underside of the sensitive skin.

Castiel moaned loudly throwing back his head and gripping the short hair as he climaxed into his waiting mouth. Dean milked him till he was spent and boneless on the bed.

"Oh god" Castiel breathed shutting his eyes and smiling when a warm weight appeared on his chest and kissed him softly.

Dean tittered amused rolling off him and dropping down on the bed. Castiel breathed in and out waiting to regain his breath and jumped started when his phone rang. He rolled over to his front and answered it confused.

"Oh he is still alive then" Gabriel said in a cold voice.

Castiel closed his eyes biting his lip and felt a wave of guilt knowing he should have told Gabriel but he fell asleep on Dean's chest.

"I'm sorry; I totally forgot to call you"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm with…well, a friend" Castiel said glancing over to Dean who was watching him closely. Castiel gave him a weak smile before looking away.

"God, Castiel, you could have called us! Anna was freaking out"

"I know I am so sorry" he murmured palming a hand over his eyes.

Dean raked his eyes down his naked body and hummed softly moving towards him and trailing a finger over his ass cheek. Castiel paid no attention as he spoke to his brother on the phone, Dean raised an eyebrow bending down towards it and biting into the plump flesh. Castiel yelped loudly looking around to face him shocked. Dean winked at him pressing a soothing kiss over it.

"What the hell was that?"

"Nothing, nothing I just…nearly fell" he lied swatting at Dean and pointing a warning finger at him. "I'll try and be home soon"

"Good, I don't know what's going on with you lately but I swear I'll find out"

Castiel heard the click and glanced at his phone before dropping it and launching himself at Dean who laughed.

"You weak little thing" Dean joked pinning him on the bed as he squirmed glaring at him.

"I was on the phone to my brother"

"So? He wouldn't know any different"

Castiel rolled his eyes at him and held still when Dean kissed the tip of his nose.

"You're adorable when you're pissed"

Castiel scowled shoving him up and turning when his phone buzzed again.

"Someone's popular" Dean murmured watching him move off to get it and read the message.

**Balthazar.**

**Call?**

Castiel glanced up at Dean and swallowed hard not knowing what to do.

"I'll be right back"

Dean frowned watching him pull on his pants and walk out of the bedroom. Castiel pushed the green button standing near the window and it answered on the first dial.

"For being a person who I met only a day ago, you are pushy"

"You're my only friend" Balthazar said smoothly looking at his clothing in the mirror before turning a full circle. "I'm curious about this little town and since you are the only person I have spoken too, I want you"

Castiel flushed pressing his lips into a tight line.

"Fine, where do you want to meet?"

"Our park in half an hour?"

Castiel sighed deeply and nodded. "Yes"

"Fantastic" Balthazar murmured with a smile hanging up and chuckling walking downstairs.

Castiel dropped the phone from his ear surprised and turned to see Dean leaning on the door frame watching him closely.

"I'm going out" Castiel said feeling strangely awkward.

"With that guy?" Dean said following him as they walked into the bedroom again. Castiel frowned picking up his t-shirt and shoving it on.

"He's seeking me out…I mean, he's new, Dean, and I guess…he just wants a friend" Castiel said standing in front of the mirror. "He's going to the school in January, Dean, and I would think he'd like to have someone he knew"

Dean clucked his tongue shoving his hands into his jean pockets dancing back and forward on the balls of his feet.

"Oh yeah! Sure…he just wants a friend! Calling you up, messaging you and calling you "cute" and "darling" because he wants a friend" Dean snapped addressing him coldly.

Castiel turned to face him with confused eyes and shook his head quickly coming up to him.

"Yes, Dean, he sought me out after moving in across the road from me. He's a…friend I guess, like Jo, Ash, and Pamela are as well" Castiel said shrugging on his jacket and looking up at him. Dean breathed out in a hard puff feeling possessive and jealous; he didn't like this new guy one little bit.

Castiel gasped when Dean surged forward kissing him hard and roughly, he moaned opening his mouth as Dean worked his magic on him. Dean pulled away breathing hard staring at Castiel who breathed out shakily opening his eyes slowly.

"Wow" he breathed looking up at him.

Dean smirked trailing his hand into the back of his hair gripping it tight and tilting his neck to the side to kiss his recurring hickey.

"You'll remember that for hours" Dean murmured when he chuckled breathlessly.

"I'll be back later" Castiel murmured kissing him briefly before departing the room. Dean looked over his shoulder watching him with a general unease. He couldn't exactly ban and stop this from happening but Dean really wanted to. The thought of losing him to another hurt Dean more than he could possibly imagine and that's when he knew he was fucked.

**~0~ **

Castiel arrived at the park looking around and spotting him on the swings.

"Ah there's my knight in shining armour!" Balthazar called to him when he walked over.

"You are very strange, Balthazar"

Balthazar winked at him and jumped up. "So where to?"

"Well the surrounding neighbourhood isn't what it lives up to be, apart from this park and a little shop, there is nothing but houses" Castiel said gesturing around breathing out a white puff. "I could show you the school"

"Oh I found that all by my little old self" Balthazar said with a grin. "Town?"

"Okay" Castiel said with a small smile leading the way as they went to get the bus into town.

"Well this is exciting" Balthazar said when they were seated.

Castiel looked over to him and sighed facing him dead on. "I hardly know you, why me? Why have you sought me out to do this?"

Balthazar rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers on the window. "No idea, but you were the day I moved in and again in the park and I'd like to get to know you. I see no quarrel in this or am I wrong?"

"No, I was just curious why me of all people out there"

"There's something about you, Cassy, that I like and do you blame me for seeking out a friend?"

"No" Castiel murmured amused. "So tell me about yourself so you are no longer a stranger"

"Balthazar Grayson, eighteen years old last month, recently moved to Washington D.C with parents who don't give a damn about me"

"Anything else?"

"I have good taste in women…and men, I always get my own way, I want to finish school and hopefully move on to become successful. I love a good action film, wine is my speciality…the older the better, and I enjoy the company of interesting people"

Castiel stared at him amazed and looked out of the window to see the passing buildings.

"Am I interesting?"

"So far, yes, but come on…your turn"

"Castiel Milton, I'm recently eighteen, I moved here from Colorado after…something bad happened and I now live with my brother and sister. I go to Cardozo High School and I have three friends, Joanna, Pamela, and Ash"

"Anything else?" Balthazar teased.

"Thanks to someone very special to me I am the happiest I have ever been" Castiel said looking away from him smiling softly. "I am hoping to become a doctor one day and I hate action films"

Balthazar was staring at the side of his face for a long minute before smirking and smacking a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll be changing that!"

"What?"

"Action films" he said with a cheeky wink.

Castiel smiled at him and from that moment on he knew he had found a friend in this strange boy from New York.

They arrived in town twenty minutes later to find it busy and thriving with Christmas shoppers. Balthazar wrinkled his nose rubbing his cold hands together and spotted a little café across the road.

"Coffee?"

"Yes" Castiel said following after him. They walked into the warm heat smelling the strong aroma of coffee and ordered two mochas.

"So this someone special? Boyfriend? Girlfriend?"

Castiel gave a half smile taking off his gloves not saying a word.

"Oh being secretive now are we?"

"Yes, _he_ is my little secret"

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at him amused and looked up flashing the waitress a charming smile as she gave them their drinks. She flushed and wandered off with a little stumble.

"Secrets are being deadly things, Cassy, one way or the other they always come out" Balthazar murmured sipping his drink and putting it down carefully.

Castiel swallowed and shrugged one shoulder. "Hopefully it will stay a secret long enough"

Balthazar narrowed his eyes at him more suspicious than confused.

"Who is he?"

"He's…he's everything and more"

**~0~**

"How are you feeling?" Sam said as they talked on the phone.

"I'm fine, Sam, I'm always fine" Dean said kicking back with a sigh. "Still coming around Christmas Day?"

"Of course, Jess said she'll be round on Christmas Eve to deliver the food" Sam said gently.

"Brilliant, I can't wait" he murmured picking at his top. "Next weekend"

"It should be good, Dean, cheer up a little" Sam said and said his goodbyes. Dean threw the phone to the side and then picked it up again feeling like a teenager needing to know where there boyfriend or girlfriend was.

"Fuck" Dean said tossing it to the sofa and standing up to get a drink. Castiel left over two hours ago and he hadn't heard a word since. The need to see him grew inside him and he sighed pouring a whiskey in a glass.

Dean sat down switching on the television finding his soap opera and smiled softly.

"Ah middle age" he murmured bitterly knocking back the whiskey.

Castiel smiled at Balthazar as they stood outside their park.

"Washington D.C…strange city" Balthazar murmured looking off into the distance and grinned when Castiel chuckled.

"I'm glad I was helpful"

"You've been helpful, Cassy, we're doing this more often"

"I'll introduce you to Jo, Pamela, and Ash, they are good friends" Castiel said warmly and turned to leave. "I'll see you around"

"I'll text" Balthazar said watching him leave and pursued his lips together with a small smile.

Castiel pulled out his phone texting Dean immediately.

**Can I see you? I miss you. C.**

Dean received the text and sat up texting him back straight away.

**Yes.**

Castiel smiled running towards the apartment forgetting the fact he had told Gabriel he would be home soon. He used the spare key and opened the front door darting inside and up the stairs.

Castiel opened his front door and smiled cheerfully when Dean greeted him. Dean tugged him forward so he crashed against his chest and kissed him hard. Castiel wrinkled his nose when they parted for air and looked him up and down.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Yes" Dean said with a nod shutting the door behind him. "What happened?"

"What are you talking about?" Castiel muttered taking off his jacket.

"The Lost finale" Dean said sarcastically. "Balthazar!"

"We went to town and I took him around the place, we had coffee and food" Castiel said nonchalant peering at the television screen.

"Is that all that happened?"

"Yes! Where is this coming from, Dean? He's a friend"

"You don't know him" Dean muttered sitting down heavily.

"I know him well enough to know he needs a friend right now" Castiel replied dryly sitting down next to him. "He's a friend, Dean, that's all"

"Does he want to be friends?"

"Of course he does" Castiel said narrowing his eyes at Dean who flexed his jaw clenching his fists together in defiance. "What did you do all day?"

"Met a man in a bar, I got to know him and he wants to be my friend" Dean said staring at the television.

Castiel stiffened eyeing the side of his face.

"That's not funny, Dean"

"No, it really isn't it?" he snapped looking back to him.

"Why-why are you being like this?" Castiel murmured feeling a bubble of fear erupt inside him and pulled his hand away.

The silence grew between them till Dean sighed looking down at the floor knowing he was behaving like a dick but he couldn't help it.

"The drink talking" he murmured giving him a sidelong glance.

"Well I don't like it…" Castiel replied softly. "He's just a friend, Dean; I just spent time with a _friend_"

"I know I'm sorry" he whispered turning towards him and pulling him into his arms. Castiel sighed climbing into his lap and straddling his thighs so they were more comfortable. Dean didn't say a word and just held still when Castiel wrapped his arms around him nestling into his shoulder and neck.

"You know how I feel about you, Dean, and next weekend it's Christmas…I don't want to fight over something silly" he muttered into his ear.

Dean peered at him and nodded giving him a gentle, soothing, kiss and rested his head against the top of Castiel's. But that was Dean's biggest fear now. His original fear was simply falling in love all over again but that fear was taken away by Castiel. Dean's biggest fear now was losing that said person to an unknown source. Dean was not good with feelings but when it comes down to it, he loves fiercely and protectively.

Their situation was wrong and if they were found out, they could lose everything. One simple mistake and it ends with a bang. The problem they now had, was how long did they have before the cat is let out of the bag?

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! I am far from done, seriously, these ideas keep flowing and it will all come to head soon. I am excited to write it!**

**Feedback would be amazing**.


	18. Chapter 18

Christmas Day arrived quickly than they all anticipated which meant Castiel woke up in his own empty bed hearing Gabriel scream Christmas songs. He groaned pressing his face into the pillow when his door was flung open.

"Santa's been!" he shouted shoving him hard.

"I hate you so much" Castiel hissed looking up at him.

"Oi! It's Christmas, Castiel, don't you dare start these moods" Gabriel warned.

"I know I'm sorry" he murmured pushing himself up and glancing out of the window to see a thin sheet of snow from last night's fall still lingering.

"Come on little bro, we're celebrating Christmas if it's the last thing we do!" Gabriel said clutching his hand and dragging him out. "I am also thankful you are wearing pants because this could be a lot more awkward"

Castiel smirked shoving his shoulder and followed him out to see Anna sitting cross legged on the couch.

"I remember when you were about seven and you still believed in Santa, you came running into my room at 6am all happy and excited screaming "presents!" and we all had to get up" Anna said amused when he sat down next to her.

"Times change" he said with a sad smile.

"Presents!" Gabriel said throwing one at Anna who giggled catching it. Castiel watched with open affection as they opened the few gifts they had. Gabriel delighted with the amount of chocolate he had been bought, his state of the art IPhone he bought for himself and clothes from Anna and Castiel. Anna was also happy with her perfume, necklace, and scarf from Castiel which she wrapped around her neck.

Castiel looked down at the Disney DVD's he now owned with an expensive aftershave he liked and hoped Dean would like if he wore it. Castiel glanced around and frowned noticing a brown package underneath the tree.

"What's that?"

Anna turned her head so her red curls shone in the light and shrugged picking it up.

"It's for you though, must be from one of your friends" Anna said looking over to him. Gabriel looked up and watched him as he opened the strange present. Castiel tore the paper away slowly to reveal a heavy black bible. Castiel inhaled sharply opening the front cover to see sharp black writing.

_**Release your demons, my son.**_

_**With love and Christmas wishes**_

_**Father.**_

Castiel looked up to Gabriel with wide frightened eyes.

"What is it?" Gabriel said taking it off him and gaping in horror.

"That's sick!" Anna whispered peering over his shoulder. Castiel gritted his teeth standing up and snatching it off them.

"Cas, what are you doing?"

Along with the brown paper, Castiel stuffed in the bin throwing the lid down and turning away from it breathing shakily.

"It is a present from a dead man" he said looking over to Gabriel and Anna stood in the doorway. "I'm going upstairs to change"

Gabriel gave him a weak smile squeezing his shoulder when he walked out and upstairs. Anna glanced to Gabriel who frowned leaning against the wall.

"If that was a Christmas present, where was ours?"

"Exactly" Anna murmured raking a hand into her hair. "He's never going to stop is he?"

"Anna, not today…"

"Not today? Gabe, our own father is not going to stop till Cas is dead or exorcized!"

"Anna!" Gabriel warned gripping her shoulders. "Stop it, he does not need this. He's in prison and unless he somehow magically escapes then he's going to be okay, we'll never let that happen to him again"

"He can send him bibles and cards, Gabe"

"Then we burn them" Gabriel said with a shrug. "It's Christmas, so let's get ourselves together and cook dinner"

Castiel who was sat in the hallway listening to every word swallowed and closed his eyes. He was never going to escape his past and the fact it was his own father made it ten times worse.

Dean opened the door greeting Jess who he hugged and kissed her cheek in greeting letting her pass and looked to Sam and Daniel in his arms.

"He's not happy" Sam said with a chuckle closing the door behind him.

"On Christmas? Come here, little dude" Dean said taking Daniel off him and smiled pressing a kiss to his soft pink cheek. "Moodiness on Christmas Day?"

Jess rolled her eyes shrugging off her coat. "He kicked off when Sam strapped him in the car seat and still hasn't forgiven daddy"

Sam rolled his eyes with a shrug and frowned. "Dude, where's your tree?"

"There" he said pointing to the little one in the corner with a shrug. "I'm one man, Sam; I don't need a big tree"

Jess smiled handing him a present. "From us all"

Dean smiled handing her Daniel and tore it open to reveal an ornate picture frame containing a picture of all of them, his father, Sam, Jess, Daniel and himself. Dean smiled looking over at it and up to the both of them.

"I thought the camera didn't work?"

"We lied" Jess said with a grin.

Dean felt a warm glow in his heart and put it on display proudly. "Here"

He walked over to small tree picking up the two presents handing them over. Sam chuckled opening the wine bottle shaped present.

"Damn, I could have sworn it was a book!" Sam said sarcastically looking over the expensive bottle of wine.

"It's Christmas, put the baby to bed and knock yourself out" Dean said with a grin looking down at Jess who was helping Daniel open his musical piano.

"Oh brilliant, more noise" Jess said looking over to Dean who grinned at her. Daniel laughed smacking his hands down on the piano looking up at them.

"Your son is happy now" he said smugly. "When's dinner"

Jess walked over slapping his arm and pointed at him. "For that, you can help me"

"Brilliant" he said honestly watching her walk into the kitchen, Sam sat on the floor with Daniel who was laughing at his dad delighted.

Dean smiled at the picture but felt a painful ache at the missing figure of his father who should be there. He sighed sadly before realising something and pulling out his phone dialling Castiel's number and stepping into his bedroom.

"Merry Christmas" he said as he answered.

"Merry Christmas, Dean" he said with a smile shutting his own bedroom door behind him.

"How's it been?"

"Good" Castiel murmured. "Apart from an importune present from my father"

"Seriously?" Dean said shocked.

"Yes, but I disposed of the hideous gift. It was a bible instructing me to get rid of my inner demons"

"That sick sonofabitch" Dean hissed feeling an anger surge up inside him.

"It's okay, Dean, I don't want to think about it"

Dean exhaled and nodded once. "Are you coming here tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't it miss it for the world"

"Good" Dean murmured with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Okay" Castiel replied hearing the click and felt a bubble of happiness spark to life inside him. It was going to be the best Christmas ever.

**~0~**

Christmas Day ended for both families happy and lively with food, alcohol, and it turned out to be a very good Christmas for all.

So the next morning was a blessing for Castiel as he awoke with a smile on his face. Castiel rolled over onto his stomach pulling his phone towards him to see several messages.

**Jo.**

**Hope you had an amazing Christmas! New Year's Eve party in the pub, you will be there. See you soon!**

**Pamela.**

**Christmas love and shit…**

**Are you coming to the party?**

**Balthazar.**

**Call?**

Castiel rolled his eyes sending back "Yes" to Jo and Pamela and to Balthazar "No"

He smirked jumping out of bed and dressing into new clothes and smelling his new aftershave before spraying a little on himself and felt giddy. His phone buzzed and he picked up to see one new message from Balthazar.

**Call…soon?**

Castiel rolled his eyes pocketing it, grabbing Dean's present, and ran downstairs to see Anna singing softly to herself while fixing her makeup.

"Going out"

"Lover boy?" she said turning with a small smile.

"Maybe"

"I really wish you would tell us who he is! I'm your big sister, Cas"

Castiel sighed walking over to her and kissing her cheek. "One day, I promise"

Anna smiled gently pushing him forward. "Go enjoy yourself and…be careful"

Castiel headed out into the cold air and straight to Dean.

Dean rolled over and moaned in protest when his head ached from too much whiskey. He groaned hearing a buzzing sound and looked over to his door confused.

"Fuck" he muttered pushing himself up to the side and rubbing his temples. "Alright!"

He wandered over seeing Castiel on the screen and rolled his eyes buzzing him in.

"Impatient dick" he murmured rubbing his sore eyes walking into the kitchen for much needed coffee and pie. Dean turned when the front door opened and couldn't help but smile when he saw him.

"Cas, it's not even 10am"

"I don't care" he murmured wandering over to him and pulling him into a kiss. Dean kissed him back and inhaled pulling away.

"You smell amazing"

"New aftershave from Gabriel" he murmured linking his arms around his neck and smiling when Dean nuzzled the crook inhaling the smell.

"How was Christmas?"

"Good, Sam, Jess, and Daniel were very happy" Dean murmured kissing slowly up and down his jaw. "Wasn't the same without my dad but…we made do"

Castiel hummed trailing his fingers into the short brown hairs enjoying his warm smell of sleep and something sweet.

"Want your present?" Dean murmured after a long minute of silence.

"You got me something?"

"Of course I did, Cas" he said leading him over to the couch and sat him down handing him a small wrapped gift. Castiel looked over to him quizzical and ripped it open to reveal a small bracelet held together with blue, black, and white string.

"I know it's nothing big but the…the blue reminded me of your eyes" Dean said flushing pink in embarrassment. Castiel smiled sliding it onto his wrist and admiring it from an angle.

"Dean, I love it" he whispered staring up at the openly honest green eyes reflecting fear and embarrassment. "It's not small"

Dean coughed rolling his eyes and gestured at him. "Where's mine?"

Castiel moved away collecting the bag with the present inside and handed it to him.

Dean peered inside and pulled back laughing. "Cowboy movies?"

"You're a hard man to buy for, Dean"

Dean chuckled pulling out a DVD box set out and grinned. "Awesome"

"You like it?"

Dean nodded casting it aside and gripping him tight pulling him into his lap.

"You're amazing"

Castiel chuckled sitting down comfortably and shrugging one shoulder. "Can I be blamed for my efforts?"

"Nope" Dean murmured with his small smile.

Castiel pressed his lips over his stubble relishing and enjoying the feeling of it against his lips when he remembered.

"Are you going to Jo's New Year party?" he questioned stroking the back of his neck with his nails. Dean shivered and bobbed his head once.

"She's invited everyone, well Ellen has, and I'm guessing you're going?"

"Yes" he said happily. "I'm glad you're going"

"You know we can't…do this, Cas, not in public"

Castiel frowned and nodded choosing to not reply and stroke the back of his neck. "Bedroom?"

Dean looked up to him and nodded letting him lead as Castiel gripped his hand leading him into the bedroom and pushing him on the bed.

"Let's spend all day in bed" Castiel murmured pulling down his cotton pants and smiled in satisfaction to find Dean completely naked. Dean watched him with a low moan when Castiel stripped off his clothing and parted Dean's legs wide.

Dean fisted a hand into the sheet when Castiel licked his tongue across the head taking the pre-cum and swallowing it down. Castiel smiled looking up at him before sliding the cock into his mouth and sucking hard. Dean gasped out his name and moaned rolling his hips upwards fucking slowly into his hot mouth. Castiel gagged a little when it his reflex but didn't let it stop him as he deep throated him more listening to Dean's soft moans and pants above him.

"Cas!" Dean warned letting out a loud gasp spilling inside his mouth and feeling boneless when Castiel sucked and swallowed every last drop. Castiel let his mouth slide off the now over sensitive cock and smiled climbing back up to him gripping the top of his hair.

"Merry Christmas, Dean"

"Bastard" Dean whispered kissing him. Castiel smiled flicking his tongue into his mouth and giving him a taste of the good stuff.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Dean?" he cooed into his ear and smirked when Dean nodded gripping his hips.

"Fuck me" Dean ordered looking up at him with glazed eyes. Castiel obeyed the order moving across the open the small bottle of lube spreading the sticky fluid over his fingers. Dean gasped when his long fingers penetrated him scissoring the hole open gently, the burning pain erupted inside him and Dean grounded his hips moaning restlessly.

"Cas, please" he begged looking up at him with glazed green eyes.

Castiel hummed pulling him into a filthy kiss biting down on the plump bottom lip. Dean fought back gripping his ass bringing him forward causing him to gasp removing his fingers and position himself.

"Feeling desperate, Dean?" he teased stroking his fingers across his stomach muscles.

Dean exhaled shakily gripping his ass cheeks hard and spreading his legs wider.

"Cas"

Castiel smiled pressing the head inside him watching him moan and throw his head back. Dean felt the full slide inside him and gasped pushing him in deeper keeping his hands on the hot ass cheeks. Castiel thrusted slowly inside him gasping and moaning at the tight heat surrounding his cock and threw back his own head.

Dean bit his lip hard tasting blood when Castiel's thrusts inside him picked up faster and he moaned when Castiel moved down to kiss him deeply tasting the blood. They rocked together in a perfect rhythm not breaking eye contact.

The need to come rose up inside Castiel and he breathed hard staring down at Dean's sweaty chest gripping his shoulders.

"Dean…I'm not…" he said shaking his head thrusting his hips deeper inside him. Dean nodded urging him on as he kneaded and squeezed his ass.

"Come for me" he whispered staring into his blue eyes. Castiel nodded closing his eyes snapping his hips forward and with a sharp harsh moan he came inside him seeing a white hot flash underneath his eyelids. Dean hissed feeling the warm cum coat his insides and caught him when Castiel collapsed on his chest.

"Fuck" Dean murmured pressing a kiss to his temple. "Merry Christmas to me"

Castiel chuckled feeling tired and pulled out rolling over to him curling into his side.

"I missed you, I hate not sleeping in the same bed" he whispered closing his eyes. "My nightmares…"

"They're coming back?" Dean said concerned stroking a hand into his hair.

Castiel nodded once slipping off into a comfortable sleep smiling weakly when strong arms wrapped around him. Dean frowned feeling worried for him and brushed back his sweaty hair pressing a kiss onto his forehead. He couldn't wait for New Year, a new year and a new start.

**~0~**

The days after Christmas moved quickly for the both of them as they spent time together, sleeping, eating, and acting like any other normal couple. Castiel now thought of Dean as his boyfriend, just a very secret boyfriend, and he liked it that way.

But while they still spent time together, Castiel still went out with Balthazar whose friendship had picked off. Dean hated it, he hated him and he hadn't even met him yet.

It was the 31st December and Dean was getting ready to go out. They had sworn to each other they wouldn't go near each other unless it was necessary and nothing at all must happen. No reckless behaviour.

Dean glanced down at his watch with a sigh and pulled on his jacket heading out of the apartment building and down the street to the pub. The party was in full mode when he entered inside the warm pub to see Sam and Jess at the bar.

"Dean!" Sam said gesturing him over.

"What you two doing here?" he said squeezing in next to Jess who was sipping a green drink.

"Daniel is with my mom and dad!" she shouted over the music.

Dean gave her the thumbs up and looked up to see the barman, Andy, smiling at him.

"Hey! You're back?"

"Yes, two week trip to Barcelona did me the world of good! Now I'm back to this" he said with an eye roll handing him a beer.

"Thanks man" he said tipping it towards him and scanning the surrounding bar to see the regulars, new people, and a group in particular. Dean found Castiel straight away in the corner with Ash, Jo, Pamela, and a new person. Dean locked onto the cheeky grin, hair, and hint of a beard and instantly knew who it was, it was Balthazar.

Dean wrapped his hand around the cold beer bottle tipping it back and looked over to see Jess whispering something in Sam's ear. He knew now that this was going to be a hard night.

His attention was caught by a young woman nursing a wine looking sombre and annoyed.

"Someone spill there drink on you?" he said walking over and leaning against the bar. Black eyes looked up to him confused and she looked him up and down.

"Not interested"

"Hey, I wasn't making a move" Dean said holding his hands up and moving away.

"Wait…I'm sorry, just had a shit day" she said sipping her wine. "Boyfriend turns out to be one of those cheating scumbags"

Dean grimaced and inwardly screamed in pain, he was doomed.

"He sounds like a jerk" Dean murmured dryly.

"I won't bore you with the details" she murmured amused. "I'm Tessa by the way"

"Dean" he said with a small smile looking over to the group to see them knocking back shots now and sighed.

"I know the feeling about having a crap day and I guess now night" he muttered.

Tessa smiled sadly raising her drink.

"To a shit start"

Dean laughed and raised his glass in salute. He drank it back finding his eyes moving off to Castiel again and felt a pang of pain.

Castiel grimaced slamming his drink down when the others choked and laughed.

"Shit, I hate tequila" Ash murmured with a splutter. Balthazar hit his back amused looking over to Jo and Pamela's curious eyes.

"So, Casanova, tells us you are coming to Cardozo?"

"Indeed I am" Balthazar said flashing a look over to Castiel currently engrossed in a conversation with Jo.

"Good" Pamela said raking her eyes over him. He was wearing a tight fitting purple shirt and casual jeans, Pamela had never wanted someone more.

Castiel smiled at Jo who finished off Christmas story and looked around the bar catching sight of Dean exhaling in relief. It turned into confusion when he stopped him talking to a woman with short black hair; he also noticed Dean's brother and his wife next to him laughing animatedly.

"Hey, you okay?" Balthazar said nudging him.

"Yeah…yeah" he murmured scratching behind his neck. "I need another drink"

"My round" Balthazar said getting up and going up to get them. Instantly, Jo and Pamela surrounded him.

"Where did he come?" "How did you meet him?" "He's gorgeous!"

Castiel looked between them baffled and shrugged. "We met in a park, he sought me out, and we've made friends"

"He has a fantastic ass" Pamela murmured with a longing look.

"You like anything with two legs don't you?"

"No" Pamela replied rolling her eyes and smirking mischievously.

Jo frowned at her and looked over to Castiel who was chewing on his nail looking worried.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes" he lied faking a smile and looked back over to Dean who was smiling at the woman and laughing at something she said. Castiel looked up when Balthazar came over with the drinks taking one off the tray and sipping it down.

"Who's betting Castiel here will be drunk before ten?" Ash said with a nod towards him and laughed grabbing his cider. Castiel rolled his eyes looking over to Balthazar who grinned at him and drank his own drink without a care in the world.

**~0~**

It hit 11.30pm and it was an half an hour before midnight where they would welcome in 2012. Dean was feeling tipsy and Tessa was now gone. She had broken down in tears and fled after too much wine, Dean now took to watching the little group. Dean knew Castiel was drunk as he talked animatedly with his other drunk friends, he watched as Balthazar talked nonstop to Castiel.

"Dude, you seriously look like someone has pissed in your beer bottle" Sam said holding up his now drunk wife who giggled.

"He's right, Dean"

Dean glared at the pair of them and sighed feeling a pounding in his head.

"I need fresh air!" he called over the music and headed towards the door.

Across the room, Castiel saw Dean walk out of the doors and panicked.

"I need…I need fresh air" he murmured climbing off the seat. Balthazar reached out catching his wrist holding him still.

"Why? What's so important about outside? You don't smoke" Balthazar said confused. Castiel looked over to Jo, Ash, and Pamela dancing and shrugged.

"Need air" he muttered wrenching free and stumbling a little.

"Whoa, let me come with you" he murmured moving to stand up.

"No!" Castiel warned shoving him down. "I need air by myself"

Balthazar sat back down watching him wade through the crowd concerned and tapped his fingers wondering what to do, follow or stay?

Castiel pushed the door open and breathed in the smell of alcohol and ash in the air from fireworks. He looked around and saw a figure looking like Dean leaning against the wall of the alleyway.

"Mr Winchester" he called strolling up with a grin. Dean looked at him in a panic and looked towards the drunken people outside the pub ignoring them. Dean gripped his arm shoving them further down the alley and glared at him.

"Cas, what the hell are you doing?"

Castiel ignored him wrapping his arms around his neck.

"I love you" he said softly. "I am so in love with you, Dean"

Dean exhaled shakily looking around and to the side of them and gave him a pointed stare.

"Not here, Cas, my brother and your friends are in there!" he hissed and gasped when Castiel pulled him into a messy kiss.

"Tell me you love me, Dean"

"Cas…" he whined pressing a palm to the cobbled wall and looking into his blue eyes.

"I love you!" he insisted.

"Shut up!" Dean muttered covering his mouth feeling afraid. Castiel huffed removing his hand and looking around as well.

"Dean, no one is here. no one is going to come around here because it smells and it's cold" he whispered pressing a kiss to his cold lips. Dean closed his eyes shaking his head.

"What about our rules?"

"Screw the rules!"

"Cas" Dean warned but allowed him when he moved him into the wall feeling his warmth and sighing in relief. "You're so drunk"

"I know" Castiel said with a giggle. "Oh, who…who was that woman before?"

"Tessa? She's a girl I met, she had relationship problems" Dean said with a shrug. "She took off crying in the night"

Castiel laughed into his shoulder and pulled back amused. "That's funny"

"Oh you're mean" Dean said with a mock gasp.

A firework exploded around them making Castiel look up at the colours and smile at Dean who was watching him with open affection.

"Kiss me"

Dean narrowed his eyes flicking his eyes around before pressing his lips against Castiel's who moaned instantly cupping the back of his neck deepening their kiss.

Behind the wall where he was hidden from view, Balthazar peeked at them and drew back shocked. He didn't expect to see that at all and all Balthazar knew now was that he was an older man, what would he do when he eventually went to school and discovered the real truth?

**A/N: Very long chapter! Hehe! **

**Feedback would be appreciated. **


	19. Chapter 19

The alarm beeped loudly startling Dean out of his sleep and he groaned looking at the time. 7:15am stared at him smugly and he batted out a hand knocking the clock to the floor. Today was the first day of term for everyone and he was half apprehensive and half scared at what the day would bring.

He climbed out of the warmth of his bed and hit the shower enjoying the warmth of the water as it beat down on him. Dean was also looking forward to seeing Castiel who he hadn't seen all weekend due to the fact that they wanted to see if they could last a weekend without seeing, talking, or messaging each other.

He sighed thinking off the history lesson he had planned and wondered what would happen if he called in sick. Dean dressed in a casual blue jumper and black jeans liking the way it kept him warm and he knew Castiel loved it.

Dean grabbed his keys with a sigh wandering downstairs and hissing as the cold air hit him and groaned hating winter.

"Where ever you are, spring, hurry the fuck up" he muttered climbing into the Impala and starting her up. Dean drove her out and arrived at the school twenty minutes later to see some juniors already there and smirked.

"Dean!" he heard and looked up to see Bobby waving at him.

"Singer, how was Christmas?"

"Not bad, the old girl can cook a mean Christmas turkey" Bobby said gruffly heading inside with him and smiled faintly at Dean who chuckled.

"Yeah, it was nice, I had Sam and his family around for Christmas and a friend the next day" Dean said avoiding his eye contact and inhaling the smell of "high school" it was old furniture polish, books, and the smell of teenagers.

"I'll see you at break, Bobby" Dean said clapping him on the back and heading to his classroom opening the door. He smiled walking inside and dropped his books, bag, and jacket on the old chair.

In a way he hated he was back but a small part of him loved it, it was why Dean chose to be a teacher. Dean glanced up at the time to see it was nearly 8am and sat down opening up his planner to jot down everything up to midterm in spring.

A knock startled him and he looked up to see Castiel and smiled when he darted in and kissed him quickly.

"Hello" he whispered with a small smile.

Dean grinned pulling him towards him kissing him back and parted from him briefly. "Hello"

Castiel smiled when he pulled him into his lap and he straddled him so they were comfortable in the chair.

"How did the week alone fair out then?" Castiel questioned stroking his hands over the soft jumper on his shoulders.

"Badly" Dean said and smiled when Castiel nodded kissing him gently.

"I hate not talking and seeing you, it's like we've broken up"

Dean chuckled nuzzling the side of his neck breathing in his warm scent and sighed deeply wanting nothing more than to take him home.

"Broken up? Are we official?" Dean said lightly picking at his light blue t-shirt noticing the way it made his blue eyes stand out and appear even more beautiful.

"Not yet, six more months" Castiel murmured softly. "I leave school and I'm yours"

Dean licked his bottom lip narrowing his eyes at him but didn't reply. Castiel sighed pressing his lips to his forehead, over his closed eyes and finally down to his lips. Dean frowned confused and peered up at him baffled while Castiel simply smiled at him.

"You're a bad influence on me, Castiel Milton" Dean muttered gripping his waist and nipping his bottom lip.

"I'm all yours that's why" Castiel moaned when he moved to kiss his mark.

Dean smiled gently against his skin and pulled back pushing against his chest. "I have work to do, Cas, you better get going"

"Can I come over tonight?"

Dean hummed tilting his head to the side and nodded. "Of course"

Castiel felt his heart skip and moved down to kiss him tenderly.

"Go" Dean whispered pushing him back and watching him leave out of the classroom.

Dean smiled to himself despite everything and couldn't even deny the fact that he was well and truly underneath his skin like a tattoo.

Castiel walked down the hall feeling smug and loved up when he saw a familiar looking face and bounced over.

"Balthazar"

"I'm scared" he said and chuckled when Castiel smiled gently at him.

"It's fine, you have me"

Balthazar nodded once and gave him a warm smile. Balthazar had not told Castiel he had saw him with his older man yet, he was waiting for the right moment to ask him about it. Balthazar didn't want to lose Castiel; he didn't mean to see it.

"Have you got your timetable?" Castiel asked and took it off him when he handed it over. "Ah, you're with Dean who teaches history"

"Don't you have history?"

Castiel shook his head with a grimace. "I left; I choose to sit in the science blocks to do biology and chemistry instead"

Balthazar raised an eyebrow surprised and looked down and around the corridor. "I can't find my locker"

"Where is it?"

"27K"

Castiel indicated his head to follow him and pointed him at the green door waiting for him to throw his stuff in and walked him over to the history.

"Is he a good teacher?"

"Dean? He's the best" Castiel murmured. "Just a shame I don't like it otherwise I'd still be in there"

Balthazar nodded leaning against the wall and looked over to see the trio walk down the hall.

"Castiel!" Pamela sang dropping in next to him and smiling. "Balthazar, it is good to see you"

"Know the feeling, sweetheart" he said with a wink which made her heart flutter and she sighed blissfully.

Jo groaned leaning against Castiel. "How many months till we leave?"

"Six months, but those include our final exams and a lot of revision" he murmured with a sigh. The school bell rang making them all jump and Castiel waved them off as they stepped inside. Balthazar glanced towards Dean who had his back turned to them all so he couldn't see and moved to one empty seat at the back and sat down.

"Your final year, ladies and gentlemen, let's make it count" Dean said turning around to face them.

Balthazar's mouth dropped open and he swore loudly causing heads to turn towards him shocked and laughter to erupt.

Dean looked towards him startled but frowned with realisation.

"Balthazar Grayson?" he questioned him. Balthazar snapped his jaw shut and nodded once staring at the history teacher in horror and confusion. Castiel had a lot to answer for.

"I would remind you that swearing is not tolerant in my classes" Dean said perching on the end of his desk. "Nor is bad behaviour and slacking off"

"Bad behaviour? Like breaking the rules?" Balthazar said coolly staring into the green eyes which were confused and self-righteous.

"Yes"

"Well I wouldn't know about breaking any school rules, sir, what about you? Are you breaking any rules?" Balthazar said with a grin ignoring the students baffled and confused looks directed at Dean and Balthazar.

Dean frowned eyeing him up and down before standing quickly.

"Be silent" he ordered in a harsh tone flipping open his planner and addressing the rest of the class. Balthazar leaned back in his chair folding his arms still reeling from the fact that Castiel's older man was in face his history teacher, that Castiel was no longer in his class and he guessed this was the secret. The situation in his head grew even more complicated as he contemplated how he was going to address it with the man himself.

Dean's fear exploded in his chest and he couldn't stop flicking a glance over to the amused and shocked eyes of Balthazar leaning back in his chair without a care in the world. Did he know? Dean wondered when he sat down leaving the class to their essays due in two weeks. Dean wanted nothing more than to ask him outright or go find Castiel right now and demand whether or not he told his beloved best friend.

Balthazar was unbelievably smug about this and loved the fact that on his first day he had gained and learnt the juiciest bit of gossip the school had ever had.

**~0~**

Lunchtime came fast and Castiel was glad to get out of English Literature and find Dean. Knocking lightly on the door he walked in and was startled when Dean reached out gripping his wrist and threw him up against the wall. Castiel let out a gasp of pain and surprise.

"Dean?"

"Did you tell him!" he hissed angrily when Castiel squirmed panicked underneath his grip.

"Tell who? Dean, I have no idea what you're talking about!" he protested.

"Balthazar knows!"

Castiel halted staring into the furious green eyes and shook his head.

"He-he doesn't, I haven't said a word, Dean and you know I wouldn't"

"Then how he does he know, Cas! He keeps staring at me like he know, asking me questions about "breaking rules" and…he knows, Cas, I don't know how but he does"

"Dean, you're hurting me" Castiel whimpered when his fist tightened. Dean let go and grimaced at the red welt on his skin. Dean moved it up kissing it softly and looking up at him in apology.

"Go speak to him"

"I will" he murmured rubbing his wrist and staring up at him. "You believe me don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah of course I do" Dean said stepping back running a hand into his ruffled hair. "I know you wouldn't tell him, you haven't even told your own family"

Castiel nodded fixing his bag over his shoulder. "I'll be back"

Dean watched him dart out of the room and sighed resting against one of the desks wondering what would happen if Balthazar did find out and would he have to end it.

Castiel ran out into the yard and caught sight of Balthazar chatting up a group of ladies.

"I need to speak to you" Castiel said breathless when he ran up to him tugging on his sleeve.

"Excuse me ladies" Balthazar purred following after Castiel who led him to one of the benches and sat down waiting for him.

"Well?"

Castiel sniffed in the cold air and turned to look at him with a frown.

"You know don't you?"

"Know what?"

"Don't be coy with me, Balthazar, you know exactly what I mean" Castiel snapped staring into the curious brown eyes. Balthazar sighed and nodded.

"I followed you on New Year's Eve" Balthazar said placing his hands into his own lap. "I spotted you in the alleyway with an older man; I didn't know how to tell you. It was only when I arrived in history did I realise the truth. You are currently having a rather forbidden love affair with a history teacher"

Castiel shushed him looking around panicked and gripped the hands in his lap tight.

"It is not like it sounds or appears"

"Well enlighten me then"

Castiel was silent for a moment before he pulled his hands away and shrugged one shoulder.

"I came to the school in September and first saw Dean walking down the corridor, he was gorgeous, professional, and I instantly liked him. It didn't matter he was teaching the worst subject ever and I was failing it, he wanted to help me no matter what. Dean instructed me to complete a history paper which I did gaining an E in return. He then decided to offer his help in private tutorial lessons which I accepted despite what I felt for him" Castiel said looking across the yard in thought.

"I made the first move in our first lesson, he was helping me out like a good teacher should and I made a move and kissed him. Dean shoved me back and was horrified of course and I ran quickly out of there because I couldn't stand how it made me feel and I wanted more. it excelled from there and I knew despite our positions, our ages, our status, that I wanted Dean Winchester so I chased him. Dean fought hard, he pushed me away, he ignored me, but I carried on till Halloween where I met him in the classroom and…"

Balthazar was listening closely and nudged him. "And…?"

"He kissed me and that was the start of everything. The next day I stayed after school to see him and…we had sex on his desk"

Balthazar gaped at him before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. "You kinky devil"

"It kicked off from there! I went over to his apartment; I've slept there, ate there, had sex there, and spent Christmas with him. There is a nine year age difference, we are technically student and teacher, and in the eyes of the law and everyone else this is wrong. It is not in my eyes, I fell for him like any other normal person would and strangely enough he felt the same way too" Castiel said looking towards him with pleading eyes. "I don't expect you to understand but I'm in love with him and he's not some…paedophile or pervert because he would never look at anyone else or feel for anyone else like this and he fought me off for so long"

Balthazar inhaled deeply and nodded over and over again.

"I believe you, Cassy, I have seen that happiness for myself every day since I've known you but you must realise how dangerous this is"

"I understand that and we are being careful…"

"Not careful enough, Castiel, I've found out" he pointed out.

"You spied on us"

"Rather me than someone else"

Castiel cocked his head in approval and sighed pressing his hands over his face.

"It is so complicated and he is so scared of someone finding out. In six months' time I leave school and we can finally be together"

Balthazar frowned at that and folded his arms over carefully.

"You know if you out yourselves after you leave school, people will still doubt and cause a fuss unimaginable"

"I know" he said in a small voice.

"I need you to promise me, Balthazar, that you will not tell a living soul" Castiel said sternly. "As my friend and the only person to know this, I am begging you to keep my secret"

Balthazar watched him and sighed deeply agreeing.

"I promise you, Cassy, I will not utter a word to any living soul" he promised seeing the hope in Castiel's eyes and his rewarding smile.

"Thank you" he said earnestly. "I can't help but love him"

"Does he love you?"

Castiel looked away from him and nodded once. "He had yet to say it but I think he does, I better go"

Balthazar watched him pick up his bag and thank him again before running away. Balthazar bit his lip leaning back on the bench and would keep his promise but he was protectively concerned for Castiel's wellbeing. Balthazar knew that when this did come out, it would be explosive causing unwanted hurt and he feared Castiel would receive the backfire.

**~0~**

Castiel didn't manage to catch Dean at the rest of dinner and decided to go to his apartment at 4pm instead. He remembered his key this time and let himself in and up to the apartment door and knocked loudly.

Dean opened it and smiled letting him in.

"Well?"

Castiel sighed moving past him and perched on the bar stool. "Balthazar does know, and only because he spied on us at New Year's Eve"

Dean stared at him for a long second before swearing loudly and kicking the wall. Castiel flinched at the unwanted anger and lurched over to him cupping his face.

"I told him everything and he swore to me he would not tell a living soul" Castiel continued looking into Dean's angry frightened eyes.

"You trust him!" Dean hissed gripping his forearms.

"He's my friend, Dean, and he knew so he would have told someone by now".

Dean glared at him shoving him away and paced to window. "I knew it was reckless and stupid behaviour! Jesus, Cas, we've been fucking caught and by that stupid fucking, Balthazar of all people who is holding a crush on you"

"No he isn't"

"He is!" Dean shouted back to him. "We have been so stupid!"

"Dean, listen to me!" Castiel shouted back marching up to him and seizing his hands. "This changes nothing; this doesn't change how I feel or even how you feel"

"Oh you think?" Dean hissed attempting to be cruel.

"Yes, I do" Castiel murmured pressing his palm against the side of his face and giving him an open mouthed kiss. Dean made a small needy sound at the back of his throat and kissed him back pressing into his warmth.

"Damn you" Dean whispered shutting his eyes.

"This changes nothing between us and Balthazar will keep his word" Castiel whispered staring into the green embers of his eyes. "I promise you"

Dean couldn't help but severely doubt him and sighed when Castiel hugged him closer burying his face into the crook of his neck.

"I love you" he breathed almost bashful. Dean blinked surprised and pulled back to peer into his innocent blue eyes and rolled his eyes.

"I..." he said and trailed off feeling like a sore loser.

"Go on" Castiel urged him biting his lip in anticipation.

"I love you" Dean whispered gently and flushing hard. Castiel smiled inwardly cheering in delight and kissed him hard and fiercely.

"Bedroom?"

"Bedroom" Dean murmured pushing him towards him and onto the bed covering his mouth with his and for one moment decided to forget their troubles, they could wait a little while.

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! You keep this story going!**

**So feedback would be really nice. **


	20. Chapter 20

Dean opened his eyes and blinked into the darkness of his room and moaned at the fact he was awake. His bed was warm, surprisingly warm, and he turned to see Castiel fast asleep on the pillow next to him. Dean stared at him shocked despite the early hour and looked down at the floor to see it was nearly 5am.

"Cas" he whispered rolling back over to him and pressing his lips to his warm shoulder. Castiel moaned sleepily and opened one eye to look at him.

"What?" he hissed.

"You slept over, again, and it's a Tuesday" he whispered.

Castiel moaned pushing at his face and rolled away. "Sleeping"

"It's a Tuesday!"

"I'm not a morning person!" Castiel hissed kicking his foot back hitting his shin. Dean grunted in pain and glared at the back of his head, he sighed feeling the tug of sleep and settled his head down. Castiel felt bad hitting him and turned over with a moan rolling into his arms; Dean frowned looking down at him.

"Idiot" Dean murmured but cuddled him closer enjoying the warmth radiating off him. Castiel smiled weakly into his chest for a moment before giving in and falling into a deep sleep.

It felt like Dean had only just closed his eyes when the alarm went off and he sighed pulling away from Castiel and switching it off. Dean fell back onto the soft pillow with a groan and glanced towards Castiel still asleep.

"Come on, up you get" he murmured shaking him and kicking the covers off.

"No" he protested burrowing under with a huff. Dean eyed him as he climbed out of the bed and shivered at the cold in his bedroom.

"Cas, come on, you have to leave first" he muttered shoving him hard on the shoulder.

"I just won't go in" he murmured.

"Cas, just get up" Dean said with a sigh opening his wardrobe.

"Why? All I have today is literature, biology, and chemistry. I have completed my essays for science and the book we are reading in literature I have already read" Castiel protested. "I'll stay here"

"Oh will you now?"

"Yes, you can imagine me lying naked in your bed all day" he said poking his head up with a cheeky grin. Dean rolled his eyes dressing into his professional clothes and sighed wrapping a tie around his neck.

"Cas, you are in your final year…"

"I know, I will pass all my exams and you know I will, Dean"

Dean slammed the door closed and turned to face him. "I know, but what are you going to say when they call you up?"

"I'm throwing up everywhere"

"Gabriel?"

"Gabriel won't care" Castiel said with a shrug leaning back into the pillows.

Dean pushed a hand into his hair and knelt on the bed pointing a warning finger at him. "If you leave, you lock up and hide the key under the mat"

"Yes sir" he murmured with a small smile. Dean sighed bending towards him and kissing him gently.

"It's like we're a couple and you're going to work" Castiel murmured when he pulled away. "Have a good day dear"

"Shut up" Dean muttered poking him in the chest and pulling back.

"You told me you loved me last night" Castiel muttered staring up at him. Dean hummed softly and nodded once before moving out and walking into the bathroom. Castiel bit his lip burying his face into Dean's pillow and sighing at the smell and warmth. He listened to Dean singing softly despite the early morning rise.

"I'm leaving, Cas"

"Come here!"

Dean rolled his eyes walking back into the bedroom to see Castiel sitting up holding out his arms for him.

"What?"

"I want a kiss"

Dean couldn't resist a smile and gave in leaning into him and kissing him softly. Castiel wrapped his arms around his neck tasting his toothpaste and smiled pulling back when he groaned.

"You're a horrible tease" he murmured pushing him down back on the mattress. Castiel smiled lazily stretching out like a cat and waved him off. He waited till he heard the click of the door and the soft purr of the Impala outside before burrowing under and sighing. No matter how many times he tried he couldn't sleep and gave up rolling onto his back and checking his phone to see one new message.

**Gabe.**

**I am seriously hoping you are with your boyf. Otherwise I'll cut your dick off. Love and kisses bro. **

Castiel bit his lip feeling bad and hopped out of bed pulling on one of Dean's t-shirts and looking around the apartment. It was horribly quiet without Dean and a funny feeling flooded through him that he was missing school and he was there now.

Castiel glanced down at his wrist and smirked stroking his fingers over his bracelet feeling a tug of affection in his heart. It hadn't moved off his wrist since Christmas and it made it insanely happy. Moving over to the window and looking out, he was pleased to see it was nearly snow free and was looking forward to spring.

Castiel didn't want a lot of things, he wanted a good job, and he wanted Dean. It was the matter of how he got it, their affair would be the story of a gossip when it eventually came out and that scared him more than anything else.

Wrapping a blanket around him, he settled down on the couch with a warm coffee choosing to watch pointless television till he grew bored.

It was lunchtime and the last person Dean was expecting to walk through that door was Balthazar. He glanced up when he knocked and walked in with a poker face set in place but was betrayed by the amusement.

"I was curious as to where my Cassy was?"

"Your Cassy?" Dean replied coolly.

"Yes" he murmured stepping in front of the desk. "Or is he yours?"

"He is his own person, Balthazar" he muttered slamming his pen down frustrated.

"You dislike me don't you?"

Dean narrowed his eyes at his cockiness. "No"

"Liar!" he gasped pointing at him. "I'm a threat to your forbidden affair"

"Go away" Dean muttered shaking his head.

Balthazar smirked triumphant and pulled back crossing his arms and grinning at him.

"I'm a threat to a relationship that shouldn't even exist! You do know that don't you?" Balthazar said raising an eyebrow at him. "He's eighteen and you're twenty six…major age difference there, Mr Winchester, and you know when this comes out you're going to break my little Castiel's heart"

"Get out of my classroom this instant!" Dean snarled at him furiously.

Balthazar laughed holding his hands up and cocked his head at him curiously.

"Hitting an already sore spot, sir? You know I'm right"

"I said…leave" he hissed watching him move towards the door.

"I swore to him I would never tell and I won't, I keep my promises…sometimes, but I will keep this one" he said opening the door and turning around to face him. "But you will break his heart, I can see it but don't worry, Mr Winchester…I'll be there to pick up the pieces"

Dean gritted his teeth watching him smile and walk out of the room. He breathed out covering his face and swallowing back the lump in his throat. Hate was a strong word and Dean didn't hate the guy but he disliked the dick a lot right now. Dean drew back his hands and pulled out his phone punching in a text for Castiel to see how he was, Dean made a decision to ignore Balthazar's words. If he dwelled on them then he would be screwed.

**~0~**

Castiel was walking down his own street walking away from home when he received Dean's text asking how he was and he text back with a smile. He wasn't watching where he was walking whilst texting and crashed into a figure sending them sprawling on the ground. He gasped pocketing his phone and stared down at the figure and blinked startled.

"I think we've been in this situation before" he murmured holding out his hand for the figure to take. "Chuck? The psychic of the street?"

Chuck brushed himself down and picked up his fallen bag and nodded. "Castiel"

"You know me?"

"I know everyone" he said with a sigh looking away from him.

"I'm sorry for knocking you down"

"It's fine" Chuck murmured moving quickly away only to be stopped by Castiel who turned and held him still.

"You're really psychic?"

"Yes" he said simply. "Why?"

"I was hoping…maybe…you could help me out"

Chuck blinked startled and looked around as if someone was going to jump out and shout, "Gotcha!"

"Why would you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Seek me out? Doesn't it scare you like everyone else in this street?" Chuck wondered looking him over.

"No? Why would it scare me?"

Chuck stared at him in wonder and shrugged his shoulders once. "Everyone here is frightened me because I have visions of every single one of them"

"What?" Castiel whispered shocked.

"See, Mrs Bones, over there?" he said pointing to a little old lady walking her dog. "She killed her cat, cut off its head and put it in the bin of poor old Frank Fitzgerald who she hated"

Castiel's mouth fell open and he looked over the woman who was whispering something to her dog.

"You're serious?"

"I saw it in a vision and it happened, the guy moved a few months ago" he said with a sniff. "I see everyone"

"What like?"

"It comes in flashes and visions, a proposal, an affair, a wrong word, an argument" Chuck said rubbing his head. "I see the future before it happens"

Castiel sucked in a sharp breath glancing around. "Have you seen me?"

Chuck looked back to him and stared for what seemed like forever before nodding.

"Then I need to ask you a few questions"

"What?"

"Not here…"

Chuck sighed rubbing his temples and gestured at him to follow. They arrived outside a brown house, rundown and unkempt, and Castiel frowned following him inside to see a messy hallway that led into a room with a computer surrounded by papers, cans of beer, pens, pencils, and books.

"Wow" he murmured looking over to Chuck who shrugged.

"You try having a thousand visions hit you? I have to write them down" he murmured sitting in his chair and shaking his empty can. Castiel swallowed perching on the sofa looking over to him.

"Do you know about me?"

"Yes" Chuck said pulling a folder of papers towards him. "I have wrote down every detail"

Castiel flushed and looked away from him.

"I know it's wrong"

"I am not here to judge" Chuck commented dryly.

"So you know about me and Dean…have you seen anything about what I going to happen to us in the future?"

Chuck nodded and sighed deeply pulling out five pages full of words out.

"I saw it just after I met you when I knocked you to the ground, I saw the first kiss, the first time you got together, the desk, everything and it wouldn't stop" Chuck said bitterly flicking through the pages. "I saw this was going to happen"

"You knew I would come?"

"Yes, the future can't be changed. Everything happens, no matter what" he said looking him dead in the eye.

"What does happen?"

Chuck looked down and shook his head. "I'm not going to tell you"

"What? No, I need to know"

"No, Castiel, I already know what will happen if I do and you will try your hardest to change what will happen and ruin everything"

Castiel blinked and shook his head like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I know, you're probably thinking I'm insane but if I told you right now I knew how you were going to die and there was no way you could stop no matter what you did…would you want to know?"

Castiel proceeded to twist his hands in his lap and he shook his head. "I would not"

"I already know your story and I wanted to say I was sorry, no one should ever be put through it"

"Can't you tell me anything? I mean, what was the last thing you saw?"

Chuck frowned looking over the last entry and glanced up at him. "I will tell you this, you and Dean…you aren't on the best of terms"

Castiel exhaled feeling his mouth fall open and his eyes widen.

"What does that mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

"Are we together?" he said urgently and the lack of response made his heart squeeze in fear and he looked down at his hands regretting asking. Chuck was right, no one should know there future.

"You can trust Balthazar" Chuck said suddenly making Castiel look at him startled. "He'll keep the secret"

"Oh" he breathed feeling a sense of relief.

"But be careful who you trust, Castiel, because a person who seems to be a friend may not be who you think they are" Chuck said folding the papers up and placing them on his desk. "I know from experience"

"They'll betray me?"

"Or believe what they are doing at the time is right by you" he said cryptically frustrating Castiel who clenched his fists.

"Is there anything you are going to tell me about Dean that is useful?" he said feeling anger seep into his voice.

Chuck turned on his computer staring at the blue screen before looking over to Castiel.

"I know that you love him, I know that Dean loves you back, and I know that there are going to be hard decisions"

"For what?"

"Your future!" Chuck snapped. "Isn't this why you are here pestering me? Castiel, I-I know certain things, things that are unchangeable, and I know that if you thought your past was difficult then this far worse. You'll have to know the sacrifices"

"What are they?" he whispered.

"You have to figure that out for yourself" Chuck said slipping his glasses on. "That is all I am saying"

Castiel opened his mouth to protest but closed it firmly trying to digest what little information he had. All he knew was that Dean and him may or may not be together in upcoming months, he couldn't trust anyone, and he would face his biggest challenge yet facing sacrifices. Castiel made a headline for the door when he stopped and turned to face him.

"My father…should I be worried?"

Chuck glanced up at him and a flicker of a smile formed on his mouth. "No, he's gone for now"

Castiel nodded exhaling in relief. "Thank you"

Chuck nodded watching him leave his house and sighed typing down on the blank screen of yet another vision of another random in town. Chuck hated his life.

**~0~**

Castiel didn't know how long he was walking around for but he was heading home when his stomach growled, his legs ached, and his mind was sore. Gabriel looked up when the door opened and looked over at him feeling relief.

"You are seriously going to give me heart attack with this staying out"

"I'm eighteen and I can do as I please" Castiel replied walking upstairs. "I'm going out in a second"

"Again? Come on, Cas, we've hardly seen you"

"You wouldn't want to anyway!" he shouted down undressing and slipping into new clothes feeling the need to see Dean rise up. Gabriel gritted his teeth moving towards the kitchen and taking out a chocolate bar. Castiel moved down the stairs and looked over to him.

"You don't want to be hanging out with your kid brother, Gabe"

"No, I don't but I would like to know who his boyfriend is, why is he always staying out, and why is he ignoring his brother and sister?"

"I will tell you one day, because I love sharing his bed, and I'm not" he said with a shrug slipping his jacket on. "Just…trust me"

Gabriel swallowed the sweetness down in the back of his throat and threw it in the bin not seeing him when he left quickly and out into the cold.

Dean looked up when the door went and he darted over opening it up and grunting when arms were thrown around him.

"I think you are a little over dependent on me" Dean muttered with a frown shutting the door closed and pulled back looking over him. "Are you okay?"

"Fine" he murmured pulling him into a kiss. "How was school?"

"Students being ignorant and annoying, plus, a hundred essays to mark" he said walking over to the couch and back to his marking. Castiel watched his back and moved off dropping down next to him and just watched as he read over essays.

Dean noticed and gave him a sidelong glance. "You're okay with just watching me?"

"Yes" he said simply.

Dean snorted amused and carried on reading over his essays.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" he said writing down in red pen on an essay and looking up to him.

"Promise me something"

"What?"

"If everything goes to shit, everyone finds out and we become the joke of everything…promise me you won't leave me"

Dean pulled back to sit a little straighter and looked him up and down.

"Are you sure you're okay, Cas?"

"Yes, promise me, Dean"

"I-I promise" he replied shakily and watched as he moved over to him and straddled his lap staring into his green eyes. "Pinkie swear?"

"What?" Dean said with a puff of laughter and looking at his little finger baffled. "You're insane today"

"Dean"

"Fine!" Dean exclaimed and wrapped his little finger around his and pressed his lips over them kissing them together sweetly.

"I promise I won't leave you" he whispered parting his mouth gladly and kissing him back when he pressed his lips against his. Castiel pushed his tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth tasting the sweet taste of sugar and cream from pie and coffee.

Dean pulled back for air and smiled gently. "Can I mark my work now?"

"I love you" Castiel replied serenely.

"Love you too" Dean said brow furrowing confused and blinked when arms surrounded his neck clinging to him.

"Cas? Cas, you're kinda scaring me" Dean murmured muffled his hair and neck. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I've been thinking too much" he lied easily and pulled back to peer into the openly confused green eyes. "It's fine"

"100% sure?"

"Yes"

"Okay…can I mark now?" Dean said gesturing at the work. Castiel nodded slipping off his lap and back into his place next to him staring at the side of his face worried. What if he did lose him like Chuck had hinted at? Chuck said the future can't be changed but if Castiel had anything to do about it, he was going to make it up as he goes along.

**A/N: Hahaha! It's like giving you hints of what is to come…but not. I am not evil in the slightest. **

**Thank you for all the reviews! You've baffled me with your response. I love it all.**


	21. Chapter 21

Castiel sighed feeling bored and restless that Friday evening and picked up his mobile dialling Dean's number.

"I miss you, let me come over?" he said the moment he picked up.

Dean chuckled and hesitated glancing over to the couch. "I have…company"

Castiel straightened up feeling his heart beat a little faster. "What?"

"I'll let him say hi" Dean teased walking over and picking up Daniel from his place on the couch. "Say hi"

Castiel waited with baited breath hearing a snuffle.

"Dada, dada" Daniel said repeatedly making Dean chuckle and shake his head.

"No, dada is in town with mama" Dean said taking the phone away.

Castiel breathed out a sigh of relief and let his head fall back hitting the wall.

"You're babysitting your nephew"

"Yeah, of course I am, why…what were you thinking?" Dean murmured with a smirk.

"Shut up, can I still come over?"

"Sure, but I'm babysitting him all night. Sam and Jess are in town visiting friends and I opted to babysit"

"That's okay" Castiel murmured softly. "I'll be there in ten"

Dean smiled hanging up and looking towards Daniel who looked around looking bored.

"You'll see dada tomorrow"

Castiel knocked on the front door fifteen minutes later and gave him a small smile when he opened the door holding Daniel.

"This is Daniel?" Castiel said staring at the nine month old child in his arms.

"Yeah, this is my nephew" Dean said proudly shutting the door.

Daniel stared at him confused looking up to Dean who smiled back at him.

"Dada"

"No, no, this is Cas" he said waving his little hand at Castiel who gave a faint smile. Daniel smiled kicking his legs and reaching towards him.

"May I?" he said gesturing to Dean who nodded passing over the baby. "He's very cute"

"Looks like Sammy when he was a baby" Dean said walking into the living room.

Castiel hummed looking over Daniel who looked back at him open mouthed.

"I think I may be fascinating" he murmured walking back towards his playpen and dropping him down inside it gently.

"You're one of those things" Dean said tilting his head as he scanned his back checking out his ass. Castiel turned noticing him and straightened up with a knowing look.

"We have a child in the room"

"Really? I thought it was midget" Dean said with mock surprise moving over and kissing him firmly.

Castiel smiled into the kiss pulling back to shake his head.

"Naughty" he murmured pecking his lips and looking down to Daniel who had found his pacifier and sucked on it hard playing with a musical trumpet.

"Missing me already?" Dean questioned titling his chin around to face him.

"I always miss you, Dean, you're a part of me now" he said honestly looking into his eyes. Dean felt his cheeks flush at the statement and he pulled away looking down at Daniel.

"Hungry little man?" he said picking him up with a groan and sitting down with the bottle. Castiel sat next to him watching him feed the baby with a growing feeling of affection, he watched as Dean stared down at him with a small unmoveable smile.

"Would you ever want a family?"

"I don't know" Dean said glancing up to him. "I've never really thought about it"

"You've never thought of having children?"

"No, I'm not interested in that"

Castiel tilted his head leaning back into the warm cushions content to watch Dean feed and burp Daniel. It was a comforting and content feeling watching Dean go by a different part of his life and it comforted him that he was a part of it.

"Okay, tiger, we've had our fun, you've had bottle and have pyjamas on and now we're going to bed" he said holding him tight and walking him into the bedroom. "You're going to be a big man about it and sleep aren't you?"

Castiel followed after him watching him rock Daniel gently singing an old song he had never heard about and sighed gently. Despite the fact it had been four days since he had seen Chuck, his words had not left him. Castiel feared the future more than ever and he feared the outcome. He didn't want to lose Dean at all but if the future is invertible and unchangeable, then he was screwed.

Dean gasped a little placing Daniel in his crib and stepped back holding his hands up.

"I'm a genius" he whispered turning to Castiel with a grin. Castiel nodded watching him move towards him and close the door over softly. "I have these if he cries"

Dean shook the baby monitor and moved away from him and sat down on the couch.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

Castiel took his place next to him bringing his hand up to massage the back of Dean's hair.

"Do you ever think about our future? I mean, we may or may not have one…but do you ever sit down and imagine what it would be like if we were together in three years' time"

Dean regarded him thoughtfully and pursued his lips.

"If we had a future and it's a major if, I guess…I guess I would like to be living in California or Florida were it is nice and sunny with a beach and if I had my way I'd be with you, you would be in medical school, I would be teaching an adult history class instead of here. We'd be somewhere where no one would know us so it wouldn't be a secret anymore" Dean said looking up at the ceiling. "But it's just a silly little fairy tale that will never happen"

"Who says it won't?"

"I do"

Castiel swallowed running his fingers into the soft fine hairs at the back of his neck feeling him shiver underneath his hand.

"Dean, we can have any future we want if we really work for it. There is no one to stop us"

"That's dreams and bullshit, Cas, you're living in a fantasy world if you think we could ever have that" Dean said turning towards him and fixing him with a hard glare. "We're skating on thin ice in a boiling sun and every day it's melting away till the point where we're going to fall in"

"I don't want to lose you" Castiel whispered with a shaky breath.

"I know, Cas, I do but life isn't like that and sacrifices are always made"

Castiel stiffened and straightened feeling Chuck's word echo in his head and looked into the closely guarded green eyes.

"What sacrifices?"

"Our families, our friends, our lifestyles, our jobs, and our own free will" Dean said slipping further down the couch. "Everything will be tested without a doubt"

"I hate that this is so complicated" Castiel murmured removing his hand and slipping down with him.

"Because we're not meant to be together, Cas, a teacher and a student is frowned upon because it breaks every rule" Dean said grinding his teeth together. "I never meant for this to happen, I didn't want it to happen, but you're a temptation I gave into. I lusted for you, Cas, you're gorgeous, you're sexy, and you are everything I have ever wanted. You make me laugh, smile, hurt, you make me jealous, and worst of all you make me feel things I shouldn't"

Castiel listened with wide eyes as Dean opened up his heart and soul without the use of alcohol.

"I've been in love with a woman and it hurt like hell when that ended. I've now fallen in love with a man and I know it'll hurt worse"

"Why?" Castiel whispered.

Dean half smiled amused and shook his head softly. "Because I don't just love you, I'm in love with you and that's why…it will end"

Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat and felt an ache build up inside him that wouldn't fade. Moving his head to Dean's shoulder he simply laid there not speaking a word in reply to him, there were no words.

**~0~**

It was a new week and no matter what he did; Dean couldn't erase what he had said. It was thoughtless and those spoken words had already caused damage. Dean had never, ever, been so open with his feelings and that scared him to death. He had opened up so willingly for Castiel and now he knew things would screw up, they always did.

Dean was marking the last remaining essays on his break when Castiel came in.

"Hey" he murmured softly when he walked in and shut the door.

"I just came to tell you that I won't be around tonight"

"Okay, why?"

"Because I have a lot of revision to do" Castiel said looking back to his heavy bag. "If I want to make medical school then I need to knuckle down with my studies"

"Excellent thinking" Dean commented praising him.

"Will you miss me?" Castiel questioned with a teasing edge to his voice.

"No" Dean muttered with a smirk looking down at his desk.

"Liar"

"I'll see you soon" Castiel murmured giving him a last look before walking out. Dean gave him a sidelong glance and sighed writing in his journal.

Castiel walked into the library and over to his friends in the corner all revising. He stopped down next to Balthazar who grinned at him and slid over his history book.

"History?"

Castiel narrowed his eyes and pushed it back peering into his bag and groaning. "I've forgotten everything"

"Seriously?" Jo piped in looking up to them both.

"Have these" the three of them said in unison. Castiel watched as Jo flung her Literature book at him, Pamela gave him her chemistry book, and Ash gave him his calculus.

"Thank you" he murmured taking the books in surprise and looking over them. Balthazar nudged him gently in the ribs with a question on his mind.

"Don't you ever feel bad for lying to them?" he whispered in a low voice.

"No, they wouldn't understand" Castiel replied flicking open the chemistry book and writing down notes.

"They might…I did" he murmured back.

"That's because I made you swear not to tell and I know you won't"

"You know that for definite?"

"Yes" Castiel said looking up to the warm brown eyes and giving a small smile. Balthazar responded meeting his small smile and glanced down at his books.

"Fancy leaving all this and getting seriously drunk on shit wine?" he whispered with a chuckle.

"Not if I want to become a doctor"

"Spoilsport"

"Alcoholic" Castiel muttered with an amused smile.

Balthazar looked over at him and sighed longingly. If Dean wasn't in the picture he could make a move and it was the fact that he knew Castiel was in love with Dean that stopped him. He wouldn't ruin that, he knew it would ruin itself.

"When did studies ruin our lives?" Pamela said slamming her book down.

"The moment we came back from Christmas" Ash replied looking half asleep. "I hate studying! I forget it all"

"I second that" Jo murmured.

"I third that!" Pamela cried taking out a chocolate bar. "It's going to get me fat"

"You'll get your dream jobs" Castiel injected with a shrug.

"Oh, Casanova, my dream job is to become a chef. How is studying for science going to help me?"

"In lots of ways" he said with a shrug.

Pamela snorted amused and tossed it aside. "Anyway, we seriously need to get lives and relationships"

Balthazar's eyes lit up and he chuckled lightly getting a dark look from Castiel.

"What's so funny?" Jo said eyeing him up.

"Nothing, it's just a good subject" he said innocently. "Any relationship on the cards, Jo?"

"Me? No, not for me" she said looking down at her books.

"Pamela?"

"Oh I don't know… maybe there could be someone" she murmured looking over to him with a smirk.

Balthazar laughed openly and winked at her. "Ash?"

"Nope" he said rolling his eyes.

"Finally…Cas" he said looking over to Castiel who was glaring at him.

"No"

"What happened to that guy?" Pamela said looking over to him confused.

"It didn't work out"

Ash looked over to Jo who shrugged at him and carried on with her own studying.

"So…we're all single…that's so sad" Pamela said placing her head into her hands. "We're going to have no date for prom!"

"Prom?" Castiel said startled.

"Yes? All seniors have a prom before they leave and you will be going" she said pointing a finger at him.

"Oh shit" Balthazar said matching his disapproval over the event.

"I'm excited" Jo said with a small smile. "It's the end of school"

"True" Ash murmured with an approving nod.

Castiel sighed closing his eyes wanting nothing more than to miss that but with everyone going he would have to.

"Great, I can't wait" he lied and they all settled down to study.

**~0~**

The next day was the same as they settled down in one of the corridors in the school once again for revision. Ash and Jo were in the middle of a heated discussion over R.E and wouldn't let up. He hadn't spoken to Dean at all since yesterday morning and it was now the afternoon of the next day. Castiel hated not speaking to him or even seeing him and the craving to go find him rose up inside him. The hard floor beneath him made his thighs and ass hurt and he wondered why they weren't the library.

"Why are we not in the library?"

"It's full of little juniors and no one comes down here" Jo said with a shrug.

Castiel sighed packing his things up and moving out of the corridor. No one noticed or called out to him as he left and headed towards history. He peered through the window thankful for the empty corridor; everyone was either outside or the library.

Dean looked up when Castiel strolled in without knocking and raised an eyebrow.

"Abusing your power?"

"Did you miss me?"

"You've been gone a day, let's try a week" Dean said standing up and circling his desk to face him. "How was studying?"

"Why do you hate us all? I mean all this studying kill brain cells"

"It's good for you and these exams will not pass themselves"

"You could sit them for me?" Castiel hinted and smiled when Dean laughed.

"No way, you need to make a career for yourself"

Castiel hummed trailing his eyes down him and sighed. "I love you in that"

Dean looked down at his black shirt and jeans with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"You look sexy"

Back in the corridor, Pamela looked over to Balthazar with his earphones in and frowned noticing a missing person.

"Hey" she said kicking his foot. "Where is Casanova?"

"No idea" he said with a shrug looking to the empty spot. "Probably gone for a walk"

"Or Narnia, he has my book and I need it"

"Me two" Jo said with a sigh.

"Me three" Ash piped up looking over to them both.

Pamela sighed grabbing her stuff. "Come on; let's go find the wayward boy"

Jo and Ash followed suit leaving Balthazar on his own and he bit his lip praying he had just gone the toilet and wasn't with a certain person right now.

"Let's spilt up like Scooby Doo" Pamela said with a smirk. "If we find him, I'll whistle"

"Oh go away" Jo said shoving her away when she cackled going the other way and Ash sighed going down the stairs.

"Why are you here?" Dean said rolling his eyes at him.

"I miss you"

"You always miss me; you're like an eager puppy wanting attention"

"Should I be offended?" he said with a little gasp.

"No, but you are an eager puppy"

"Puppies are irresistible" Castiel said reaching up to him and biting down on his own lip. Dean looked down and watched the action feeling a flutter in his stomach.

"I have missed you" Dean murmured cupping the back of his neck and they met at the same time as they leaned into kiss.

They kissed slowly and parted when Dean pulled away leaning against his forehead.

"Reckless behaviour" he whispered and pulling back to look at him.

Unaware to both of them a figure had appeared outside of the door and peered into the class watching the scene before them. They watched as Castiel spoke unknown words to Dean who responded with a smile and spoke something back.

"If you've missed me do something about it" Castiel teased. "No one is out there, Dean, no one ever is"

Dean peered into his eyes and moved forward pulling him close capturing his lips. Castiel groaned when he backed him up pushing him onto the desk. Castiel drew back with a wide smirk glancing down to the desk and back to Dean who stared at him with lust blown eyes.

"This brings back a lot of memories" he whispered but was silenced when Dean covered his mouth. Castiel moaned fisting his hands into the short hair losing himself in the wonder of their kiss.

The figure at the door stared open mouthed at the scene in front of them and gasped moving away staring into nothing before running down the corridor alarmed.

Castiel pulled away from Dean with a gasp looking to the door with an expression of alarm. Dean frowned looking over to the door and back to Castiel.

"What?"

"I think I heard something" he whispered moving from the desk and opened the door peering into the empty corridor swallowing hard. "I heard footsteps running away"

"What?" Dean breathed feeling his heart kick into overdrive when Castiel shut the door and leaned against it. "But I could be wrong"

Dean looked away from him and collapsed against the wall taking in a deep breath.

"Fuck" he whispered not looking at Castiel who swallowed closing his eyes. He knew what he heard and someone had seen them but the most terrifying thing was they had no idea who it was and how to stop them from telling.

"Dean, what do we do?"

Dean looked over to him and shrugged. "We'll have to wait…we knew this was going to happen. I told you we'd have to be careful…this was always going to happen, Cas".

"I can't lose you!"

Dean didn't say anything and only watched as he moved towards him tucking his head underneath his chin leaning against his chest. Dean sighed bringing his arms around him and pressing his nose into his hair.

"I'm sorry, this is my fault, I pressed you into it. But we'll be alright as long as we stick together" he whispered listening to his beating heart.

Dean pressed his lips into a straight line and wanted to believe that but he couldn't. They were screwed.

**A/N: Ahaha! Who was it? Cookies for anyone who guesses right, it could be anyone. **

**I'm nearly at 200 reviews. I have no words at all. Thank you!**


	22. Chapter 22

Castiel stood in the yard scanning the area knowing that everyone who stood chatting and laughing was a suspect. Anyone could be holding their secret and it made him feel violently ill. A hand on his shoulder made him jump and he turned startled to see Balthazar looking over to him.

"I called you last night but got answerphone, what's wrong?"

Castiel looked away from him and swallowed hard looking around.

"Remember when I left the corridor?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I went to see Dean and someone saw us…I don't know who" he whispered looking up to Balthazar who gaped and shut his mouth firmly.

"Jo, Pamela, and Ash went looking for you, Cas"

"I haven't seen any of them this morning, I was late" he murmured looking at the ground. "Do you think…?"

"Maybe…I mean they were looking for you, Cassy, and it wouldn't surprise me that they went to history to find you. You're always there"

Castiel covered a hand over his eyes and groaned. "I knew this would happen and whoever it is will tell"

"How do you know that?"

"Inside information" Castiel murmured pulling out his phone texting Jo. "I need to stop, Dean could go to prison for this"

"Oh you think?" Balthazar replied sarcastically.

"Balthazar" Castiel warned stalking away from him looking out for them. He headed towards the library and gasped inwardly when he spotted Pamela and Ash talking in the corner. Castiel took a deep breath heading over and met their eyes as they looked up.

"Where the hell have you been? Narnia?" Pamela said annoyed and held out her hand. "Book"

"What?"

"Our books we lent to you we need them" Ash said handing out his hand also.

"Oh…right" he murmured pulling his bag around and pulling out the lent books. "Here"

"Thank you!" Pamela said with a genuine smile.

"Where's Jo?" he murmured looking around.

"No idea, probably in the corridor"

Castiel nodded and turned his back squeezing his eyes shut. He headed toward the corridor to see her sat on the floor with a book in her lap but was staring across at the wall.

"Jo?" he called to her and she looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Cas" she said simply watching him when he walked over and slid down the wall falling onto his ass and sitting down. Jo slammed the front cover down hard causing Castiel to flinch and look at her.

"You look pissed off"

"I'm not" she murmured looking up to him with hooded eyes. "Just…confused"

"Why?"

"To why my life is suddenly so much more complicated"

"I don't understand" he whispered.

"I think you do"

Castiel averted his eyes looking down to the brown door and back to her.

"I don't…"

Jo sighed running her hands into her curled blonde hair. "I didn't sleep a wink last night. I couldn't. Despite how many times I tried…I couldn't. Do you want to know why, Cas?"

"Yes"

"Because I witnessed something I shouldn't have"

Castiel closed his eyes bringing his knees up to his chest and pressing his face into his knees.

"You know exactly what I mean don't you?"

"Yes" he whispered looking up to her. "Jo…"

"Why, Cas? I don't understand what the hell is going on here!" she hissed at him.

"It just happened"

"Dean? He's our history teacher" she murmured fingering the edge of the book.

"That doesn't matter to me…Jo, I'll explain everything but you have to let me without interruptions"

"Fine" she said looking up to him.

"I never, ever, meant for this to happen. I swear. When I first arrived at the school and I saw Dean, I was attracted to him, he's gorgeous. Everyone likes him, everyone wants him, and I joined in. Dean took me under his wing so to speak when I first joined, he told me to write an essay for him which I did but it was graded at an E. It wasn't good enough for Dean and he told me he would help me" Castiel said twisting his hands.

"I said yes, the lessons went ahead and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Dean didn't feel that way, not at the beginning, and I…kissed him. Dean freaked out and asked me what I was doing and I panicked. I ran away and I hated myself for what I did but it didn't stop, it was the beginning. I stayed off and he called me after taking Pamela's number asking me where I was, I told him to fuck off"

Jo licked her dry bottom lip and listened with a pounding heart.

"I got drunk in a park; I was…tired and fed up. Dean was driving past and he spotted me, I couldn't control myself and I flirted, I teased him, and I wanted him more than ever. I went back to the school the next day, remember? I went to see him and he told me we could forget about it and just continue with the free lessons. We did and it just grew, whatever it was between us grew and grew till the point when we just gave in. On Halloween, at the party in the school I followed him into the classroom and we kissed starting everything off"

Jo inhaled sharply looking away from him and toward the doors completely speechless.

"That's how it all started" he murmured avoiding her eyes.

"It just happened, it was lust and age, status, and job doesn't matter here because he isn't a pervert or a paedophile or any word that makes this into something that it isn't, Jo" he whispered looking over to her with unshed tears in his eyes.

"It was lust but it turned into more as the weeks grew, I've told him about my past, everything. I'm in love with him now and I can't lose him, not over this, not after everything we've been and gone through"

Jo inhaled closing her eyes and shook her head firmly.

"Oh god" she whispered.

"Jo…"

"I need time to think" she said opening her eyes and jumping up. "I need to…I need to think"

"Jo, you can't tell anyone!" he pleaded moving up. "He could go to prison for this! The law won't care about our own feelings"

"I need to think!" she shouted at him and turned on her heel running out of the corridor in a hurry. Castiel exhaled shakily brushing away his falling tears and took off heading towards history. There was a few students lingering around laughing and talking but this would be quick. Castiel glanced into see it empty and Dean at his desk.

He opened the door rushing inside and startling Dean.

"Whoa, what the hell, Cas?"

"We need to talk, I know who it was" he said urgently sitting on the edge of the desk. Dean nodded getting up and shutting the door firmly before facing him.

"Who?"

"Jo"

Dean's eyes bulged and he sat down heavily on the chair. "Shit"

"I tried to explain everything to her but…she ran off needing to think"

"We're screwed, Cas, if she tells anyone they'll believe her and…if she tells Ellen" Dean muttered covering his hands over his face. "We're screwed!"

"Dean, it'll be…"

"You fucking dare say alright and I'll kick you out of here!" Dean hissed angrily removing his hands to glare at him. "We are far from alright! We've been spotted by the worst person possible! Ellen knows me, Cas, she knows me, my family, and she'll do what's right. She won't keep this a secret"

"If Jo doesn't tell her, she'll never find out"

"Ellen can read Jo like a fucking book, Cas, she'll know something is up and it'll come flooding out and…I'll be fucked"

"I won't let them…we'll have to lie"

"What?" Dean said looking at him.

"If the truth comes out, I'll lie and tell them that I came onto you" he murmured softly.

"But you've told Jo everything"

"Not everything, I haven't told her we've slept together…I've just said we've kissed and that's how it all started"

"Cas, they won't believe us"

"Yes they will if I make them" Castiel whispered. "I won't lose you to this and if I have to lie and sacrifice everything to keep you safe then I will"

Dean stared at him in shock and awe as he willingly opted to sacrifice himself and lie to keep him here.

"If she tells" Dean said looking away from him with a tired sigh. "Sam will never forgive me for this"

"Neither will my brother or sister" Castiel replied.

They were silent for a long moment until Dean looked over to Castiel noticing his pink cheeks and red tinted eyes.

"Have you been crying?"

"Too much emotion" he murmured with a shrug looking down at the tiles.

"I don't regret it and I certainly don't regret you" he murmured.

Castiel gave a weak smile looking over to him through his lashes and shook his head.

"Stop talking like we're over, you promised me you would never leave me despite what happens"

"I know"

"I better leave" Castiel murmured looking over to the door and pulling his bag tighter on his shoulder.

"Okay" he replied watching him walk towards the door and sighed watching him walk out of the door without a backward glance.

Castiel found Jo outside on one of the benches braving the cold weather. Biting down on his lip, Castiel sat down beside her not saying a word until she did.

"We all thought you were secretly dating Balthazar" Jo said after a long minute of silence. "Well me and Ash did but Pam was in denial because she like him"

"I'm sorry"

"For what? Dating our history teacher or not telling us?" she said looking towards him.

"Both" he said with a quirk of his lips. "How was I supposed to tell you, Jo? Look at you now, you're freaking out"

"I'm not freaking out" she protested with a tiring sigh. "I'm confused more than anything. I mean, I get what you do see him because I see it too, he's gorgeous, he's sexy, he's older, and he's everything and more"

Castiel eyed her up in wonder and nodded. "You liked him"

Jo flushed and looked away into the fields and nodded. "Once when I was fourteen, I wanted him…but that didn't mean I got him"'

"I can't explain anymore, Jo, I fell in love with him and I do not care about our age difference and the fact we are student and teacher"

Jo flashed a look over to him.

"It's what it is and I am begging you to keep this a secret a while longer"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're one of my best friends, Jo, and if the school board find out then Dean will go to prison" Castiel murmured. "I will do anything in my power to not let that happen, I'm not going to lose him"

"Do you not see how wrong this is, Cas? He's a teacher! He shouldn't be kissing you like that!" she argued turning her full gaze on him.

"Yes!" he hissed frustrated. "I never meant for it! I didn't come to this school intending to date and fall in love with a man who is my teacher but also nine years older than me who can lose so much more than me"

"And as one of your best friends I am telling you that this is wrong" Jo said grabbing his hand and clutching it. "Dean should have never ever allowed this to happen"

"It was all me" Castiel said looking into her eyes. "I started it, I continued it, I just pulled Dean along with me"

"Cas, have you…well you know" she said tilting her head at him.

"Sex?"

"Yes"

"No" he lied with a small swallow. Jo scanned his face and could see no lie and finally believed with a reluctant nod.

"Good"

"Jo, are you…"

"I don't know" she said honestly. "This is huge and I don't know if I can keep it to myself"

"He could go to prison"

"I won't tell a teacher but…maybe, I could tell my mom, my mom might understand this better than me"

"You can't!"

"I can!" she shouted back at him snatching her hand away. "You need to stop seeing him before someone else sees Cas, not me, but a teacher"

"I can't" he whispered shaking his head.

Jo looked at him in pity and scanned the yard. "Then I must do what I must"

Castiel could only watch breathing in sharp cold air feeling numb both inside and out feeling like his whole world was spinning out of control. He didn't know how long he was sat there but the numb feeling wouldn't fade and he closed his eyes feeling tears spill over as the future came true.

**~0~**

Ellen was polishing the bar when Jo walked in looking tired and troubled.

"Hey, sweetheart, why are you not home?"

"I...I came to see you" she murmured sitting down on the bar stool with a small smile. "It's dead in here"

"Always is these days" she murmured getting out a coke and sliding it over to her. "How was school?"

"Fine" she murmured with a shrug.

Ellen eyed her as she opened the bottle and took a sip, her eyes were shadowed and she looked more than troubled.

"Jo, honey, is something bothering you?"

"Mom, if you knew something was wrong, really wrong, and you knew had to tell someone but you felt bad because you were betraying their trust, would you tell anyway?"

"It'd depend on what the thing was, I mean if the person involved was in danger of getting hurt or even killed"

"Or caught something they shouldn't be involved in?"

"Yes, that too"

Jo sighed looking down at her bottle in conflict.

"I know I shouldn't tell because he'll never forgive me but he's my friend and I care about him…I know it's wrong and I want to do for the right reason…"

"Jo, tell me what's going on" Ellen said concerned now and leaning on the bar searching her conflicted eyes.

"It's about Dean…and Castiel"

**~0~**

Dean sighed pouring another whiskey feeling lower than anything right now and looked over to his ringing phone. He picked up seeing the name and answered it with a heavy sigh.

"Hey"

"Hello, Dean, how are you feeling?" Castiel said as he sat on his bed.

Dean smiled faintly tipping the drink down and coughing. "I'm okay"

"I want to see you"

"Not today, not after everything that's gone on" Dean muttered in defeat.

"Okay" he whispered down the phone. "I meant what I said today, Dean, I'll take all the blame, I'll lie and tell them it was all me and all we've done is kiss"

"You'd really lie for me?" Dean said sitting down on the couch. "You're not to blame, Cas"

"No, but if it stops people ripping us to shreds and making this into something that it isn't then I'll protect what we have forever"

"Cas…"

"I mean it, Dean, you know I love you" he whispered.

"I know, baby"

Castiel smiled at the name and chuckled. "Baby?"

"Don't ask" Dean replied amused.

"I like it"

"Good, now go study" Dean said finishing off his glass. "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Okay, I love you"

"Love you too, you stupid ass" he muttered listening to his peals of laughter before he hung up. Dean got up walking over to the bottle of whiskey and pouring another when the phone rang.

He rolled his eyes thinking it was Castiel and picked up.

"What do you want now?"

"Dean? It's Ellen, I think we need a talk" Ellen said on the phone in a stern voice. Dean let the glass slip from his fingers hearing it smash against the floor and the liquid spread across the carpet.

"Ellen"

"The pub, ten minutes" she said and hung up.

Dean let the phone drop from his ear and swallowed hard. "Fuck"

Grabbing his key, Dean left the apartment in a hurry and got into the Impala feeling nervous butterflies flutter in his stomach. He didn't like this one little bit and he knew he was well and truly screwed.

He arrived outside the pub taking deep calming breathes before entering the pub to see an empty bar. Dean walked in and stopped when Ellen appeared looking over to him. She sighed grabbing a glass and pouring vodka into it.

"Sit" she instructed watching him move and sit on the bar stool.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing?" she said shoving the glass at him. Dean drank back the vodka grimacing at the taste and slammed it down.

"Jo told you"

"Yes, after much pushing for details, yes she did. I am glad she did, Dean, because I had my suspicions"

"You did"

"Yeah, at the beginning when I first met Castiel and you were there" Ellen said with a shake of her head. "I shoved it off, you know teachers and students do have close relationships but not quite like these"

"I know" he murmured looking down at the bar.

"I've heard Jo's words from Castiel, I want yours, Dean. I want to know exactly what is going on in that head" she said staring at him.

"It just happened. One second he's just a normal history student, brand new, new to this history, and I liked the challenge of helping him. I noticed he was attractive but nothing more, I didn't even think of…this. He kissed me first, it was so out of blue that I freaked out and panicked scaring him. He freaked as well but he was a tease, a flirt, and he got under my skin" Dean said with a sniff pushing the glass towards her for a refill.

"He's a temptation, I have never, ever, ever, thought of a student in that way and I never will but one second he's a history student and the next he's Cas. It got too much and on Halloween, I kissed him and I didn't stop because I wanted more"

Ellen passed the drink over with a sigh. "So this has been on since October"

"Yeah" he said with a heavy sigh closing his eyes. "I never wanted it to happen and I fought hard…but I-I couldn't stop"

"You had sex?"

Dean looked up at her startled by the intimate question and nodded slowly. Ellen shook her head and pushed herself up by her hands.

"Before he was eighteen or after?"

"Does it matter?"

"No" Ellen said with a snort and looked back to him. "You foolish man"

Dean averted his eyes taking the drink and downing it down quickly.

"I know" he rasped.

"Dean, you are in a relationship with an eighteen year old student, a student in the school's care, and it's wrong! Yes, I know he's attractive, he's young, he's willing and he's head over heels for you, but this can't go on"

Dean gritted his teeth wrapping a hand around his glass.

"This has to end now"

"I promised I wouldn't leave him if shit hit the fan"

"Then you are going to have that promise, Dean, my daughter witnessed you two kissing in your classroom. I thought you were stupid but that is beyond foolish. Anyone could have walked in, Dean, a teacher, the principal, and they certainly wouldn't have understood as me" Ellen said annoyed flashing him a warning look. "

"I know it's wrong, believe me, I do. You hear about this all the time on the news, teachers being thrown in jail for affairs with students but it isn't like that, Ellen, age and status doesn't matter" he said taking Castiel's words.

"I don't give a damn about that!" Ellen cried slamming her palm down on the bar. "This has to stop! You know it does, Dean, you are caught in this little affair because it's exciting and it's a temptation but it'll all slap you in that face when it really hits the fan"

Dean exhaled looking up to the ceiling not knowing what to do and feeling like he was in a cage.

"If you don't stop this, Dean, I will have to stop it for you" she said straightening up. "Think of your career, Dean, think of Sam, Jess, and Daniel. Think of the people who care and love you and how much this will affect if they learn the truth"

Dean felt the pain at the mention of his family and let his head drop into his hands with a moan.

"What do I do?" he whispered pained.

"You end it with him, Dean, before this gets so out of hand it can't be fixed. You tell him it's over and if he fights back, you hurt him enough that'll he believe and stay away"

Dean moaned shaking his head feeling the alcohol affect his system already.

"He's young, he's eighteen, and he can have life, a job, and this…this can be a silly mistake" Ellen said gesturing at nothing.

"You have no idea what he's been though, Ellen, he's told me about his past and it's…well no should ever be put through that"

"Do you love him?"

Dean looked up into her sceptical but concerned tinted eyes and nodded once.

"Then you know what to do"

Dean covered a hand across his eyes buried under doubt, disbelief, and the overwhelming prospect of breaking a promise he badly wanted to keep.

**A/N: Cookies for everyone who guessed, Jo, well done…or I am just predictable. **

**I have over 201 reviews for this fic! I am overwhelmed by the feedback for this story. You are all amazing. **


	23. Chapter 23

Dean returned home feeling a little lightheaded from his talk with Ellen. She had told him if he didn't do it, she would do it for him, it was for his own good. Dean breathed out feeling violently ill and stood over the sink gagging a little and felt his realise when he vomited.

Dean felt his form shaking from the sick and washed it away with a groan, he knew he had to end it. But he wasn't ending it without a proper goodbye.

Dean sniffed wiping his mouth with a cloth taking out his phone and dialling his number.

Castiel was sat in his desk feeling bored and tired from reading about the different valves of a heart and smiled when he saw Dean's name flash up.

"Hello, you" he murmured.

Dean closed his eyes at the roughness of his voice and swallowed hard tasting sick.

"I changed my mind, come over?"

Castiel glanced at the clock to see it was nearly 9pm and blinked surprised.

"Why? It's school tomorrow and you hate it when I stay over on weekdays"

"I don't care, come over now" Dean said with a sniff pouring some water.

"Okay, um, I'll be over in twenty minutes" Castiel said slamming his book down and ending the call. He smiled weakly in surprise and tugged on some clean clothes in case he did stay over and had to rush to school.

"Gabe" he called rushing down the stairs. "You don't mind if…"

"Stay with the boyfriend?" he said looking over to him from the couch. "You in love with the guy or something"

"No" Castiel said with a secret smile pulling on his shoes and looking up to him. "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Use protection!" Gabriel shouted when he walked out of the door and chuckled shoving a chocolate in his mouth. Castiel walked through the dark streets feeling an eerie sense of calm and strolled over to the apartments twenty minutes later.

Dean brushed his teeth and swirled mouthwash in his mouth waiting for the knock. When it came, Dean moved forward opening the door to look at him. Castiel smiled weakly at him looking over to him and Dean sighed feeling an ache rise up inside him, he was so beautiful. Dean reached out grabbing his wrist and pulling him into his chest, Castiel landed against it with a gasp staring into his eyes with confused wonder.

Dean knocked the door close and locked it before looking back to Castiel and into the wonder of his blue eyes taking his time when he skimmed his knuckles down his cheek pressing a small kiss on his nose. Castiel chuckled squishing his nose up confused and went to speak when Dean shook his head pressing a finger to his lips.

"No talking" he whispered.

Castiel's eyes widened and he nodded letting Dean's eyes sweep over him like he was his last meal. Dean moved towards him capturing his lips and tasting the sweet taste of strawberry in his mouth. Castiel moaned opening his mouth wider when Dean's tongue pushed inside swirling and tangling with his own as they kissed slowly.

Heat and arousal boiled and pooled in Dean's groin and he moaned pulling away for a second to tug Castiel's shirt off.

"I know you said no talking but…bedroom?" Castiel murmured feeling heat prickle his skin. Dean nodded taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom where he shut it firmly before turning back to Castiel who kicking his shoes and socks off. Dean's eyes zeroed in on him when he turned his front back to him and could hear Castiel's breathing hitch.

Dean walked over cupping the back of his neck kissing him so gently it caused Castiel to whimper slightly. Castiel pulled away looking up at him confused to why he was being so tender with him.

"Shush" Dean murmured warm hands trailing down his neck tracing every part of his skin as they moved down the softness of his forearms all the way down to his arms and back again.

Castiel moaned closing his eyes when Dean undone his belt tugging down his jeans and boxers till he was naked in front of him.

"Lie down" Dean whispered moving him into the centre of the made bed. Castiel moved up to the centre staring up at him with a heaving chest as he took off his shirt, pants, shoes, underwear, till he was like him. Dean moved up parting his legs and settling in between them as he kissed him once on the lips and the proceeded down his jawline. Castiel had no idea what was going on in the slightest, he was being gentle, slow, and taking his time. It scared the crap out of him in a very scary way.

Dean mapped out every inch of his skin as he kissed slowly down his neck biting into the warm flesh and sucking hard eliciting whimpers and moans from him. Dean didn't care he would leave a mark and moved off sucking and licking to his collarbone and clavicle loving the sweet taste of his skin. He kissed down his chest feeling Castiel arch with a gasp when he latched his mouth over his nipple sucking hard and licking the nub.

"You are so beautiful, Cas" he whispered against the creamy pink skin listening to him moan helplessly and clutching his hair speechless. Dean spread his hands across his ribs watching him gasp shocked and groan tossing his head to the side. Dean simply lowered his head and kissed every rib down his chest; Castiel gasped feeling every cold kiss against his hot skin and didn't think he could be more aroused.

Dean marvelled as he travelled down lower kissing along his hip bone and finding them very sexy. An ache grew inside him at the thought of losing this but pushed it away, he had to do this.

"Dean" Castiel whispered breathless when he pressed a kiss over his belly button and wriggled finding the sensation pleasant but ticklish. Dean sat back on his haunches spreading his legs wider and nipping and kissing the crease between his leg and thigh.

"Shit!" Castiel hissed rolling his hips towards him with a breathless moan. Dean smiled against his skin as he kissed slowly up the tender skin of his inner thigh till they were quivering with need. It was his mission to kiss and taste every part of Castiel's skin.

Castiel grew restless and giggled when he kissed his foot.

"Dean" he moaned covering his eyes spreading his legs wider in invitation. Dean nodded to himself climbing back up to him and kissing him hard, Castiel immediately responded licking into his mouth feeling Dean's erection poke into his stomach. Dean drew away staring into his eyes and gave him a half smile before moving down him and wrapping a hand around his cock and pressing his lips over the head. A cry escaped Castiel's lips when he tongued the slit taking the pre-cum away and taking him into his mouth. Castiel moaned fisting his hand into the bed when his warm hand surrounded his cock and he very nearly sobbed in relief.

Dean hollowed out his cheeks sucking harder as he pushed past his gag reflex and swallowed him down. Castiel didn't last long and grasped his hair hard when he climaxed exploding down Dean's throat and he swallowed greedily. Castiel panted looking a little overwhelmed when Dean sucked him till he was soft and gently let him go looking up at him.

"Oh...wow" Castiel breathed breathing upwards on his sweaty brow. Dean closed his eyes with a chuckle moving back up his chest and kissing him sweetly. Castiel brushed his nose against his stubble with a sigh smelling his aftershave and smiled.

"Dean…"

Dean shushed him pressing his finger against his lips again, Castiel realised his mistake and nodded again.

Dean looked over to his side table and grabbed the lube on top popping open the cap spreading the liquid over his fingers. Castiel stared at him as he moved down lifting his hips up and spreading the lube over his opening, Castiel gasped at the coldness and moaned when Dean pushed a finger inside his tight heat. Dean crooked his finger inside him keeping his other hand on his hips to stop him writhing against the cover.

The cold of the room bit at his back but he didn't care as he stared down at his flushed cheeks and skin, his excited but nervous blue eyes, and couldn't love him anymore than he did now. He was perfect.

Dean slid a second finger inside him scissoring him wider so he could push a third inside him and fucked him very slowly with the fingers.

"Dean, please, god, please" Castiel babbled slowly coming undone. Dean obeyed removing his fingers sadly and readied himself as he positioned and sheathed inside him.

Castiel gasped wordlessly feeling full and the pain of it subsided when Dean moved inside him slowly. Castiel moaned running his hands into Dean's hair, wrapping his legs around his waist and begged him to move faster. Dean didn't obey this time and thrusted inside slow and deep feeling everything all at once and was glad Castiel was lean when he moved forward taking his lips. Castiel groaned when his tongue stroked across his bottom lip tasting into his mouth and Castiel drew away surprised when Dean let out a small mournful sound.

"Dean?"

Dean shook his head thrusting inside hard hitting his prostate sending sparks of pleasure shattering inside in Castiel. Castiel forget everything and cried out gripping his shoulders when his speed increased. Dean grunted when Castiel's walls tightened around his cock and he knew he was seconds away from his own orgasm.

"Cas…I…" he muttered.

"Do it, open your eyes" Castiel whispered breathlessly and meeting the green eyes when he climaxed inside him shooting his seed. Castiel watched his reaction in awe, watching the way his eyes glazed over, his teeth bit into his bottom lip and the way his back arched into him. Castiel found it beautiful.

Dean groaned collapsing gently onto his shoulder careful not to crush him with his bodyweight. Castiel let his legs fall and moaned pressing his lips against his temple. Dean opened his eyes twisting his head back to look at him and pulled out watching him grunt at the loss.

"You tired?"

Castiel mused thoughtfully before shaking his head.

"Good" Dean whispered grabbing his wrists and pulling him so he was against his chest and kissed him fiercely. Castiel had no idea what was happening as he knelt on the bed feeling warm, sated, and fiercely loved. Dean looked into his eyes and saw the question dwelling inside them.

"Fuck me, Cas?"

"What?"

"Or you know…make love" he whispered feeling heat rise in his cheeks. Castiel stared at him shocked at his words and nodded spinning them around. Dean lay on the bed with a huff watching Castiel above him biting his lip fully relishing the control over him. Castiel knew what he wanted first and moved forward towards his neck biting down into the sensitive skin sucking hard. Dean gasped fisting his hand into the unruly black hair feeling him suck and nipple till the skin was red and purple.

"My mark on you, it won't fade for a few weeks" Castiel murmured smugly pulling away. Dean touched it with his fingertips and nodded up at him. Dean closed his eyes soaking up the affection Castiel gave to him as he kissed slowly down his chest biting and nipping startling him but replacing it with a gentle kiss. Castiel moaned inhaling his musky skin and knew this was his favourite smell.

Dean gasped when he spread his legs fitting in between and grabbed the bottle of lube on the bed and spread over Dean's entrance. Dean bit down on his lip at the cold liquid and fisted his hand into the covers when Castiel mimicked his actions from earlier and slid a finger inside him. Castiel slipped a second and a third inside him looking up to Dean through his lashes to see him staring up at the ceiling panting heavily. Castiel smirked positioning himself and slid inside him in one quick thrust.

"Sonofabitch" Dean muttered gripping Castiel's arms when he was bottomed out inside him. Dean moaned at the sparks of pain and pleasure running up and down his spine but it resided when Castiel rolled his hips thrusting inside him. Dean threw back his head and gasped when Castiel pinned his wrists above his head watching him carefully. Dean gasped feeling a wonderful sense of being powered over and claimed.

"Cas" he whispered when he moved down to claim his lips. Dean groaned opening his mouth wider giving him entry. The air around them was scented with the smell of sex, sweat, and cum, and filled with the sounds of sweaty flesh slapping against one another and moans. If anyone heard there would be in doubt about what was going on.

Castiel gripped his wrists tighter pushing harder inside him breathing heavily into Dean's hair.

"Just let go" Dean whispered gripping his ass urging him in deeper. Castiel cried out weakly when he felt his orgasm creep up on him and he arched coming deeply inside in. Dean gasped at the sharp warmth flooding him and caught him when Castiel rested his forehead on his chest. Dean smiled smacking his ass cheek gently and opened his legs wider when he pulled out resting on his chest.

Castiel hummed content when Dean rolled him off till he was on his side and kissed down his arm gently.

"Tired?"

"No" he murmured with his eyes closed.

"Liar"

"M'not" he murmured looking up at him and opening his arms for him. Dean moved into them and carefully stroked his fingers down his cheek.

"Dean, what's going on?" he whispered with a furrowed brow. Dean didn't reply and simply stroked the lines away on his forehead kissing it gently. Castiel shivered at the tender gesture and watched as Dean grabbed his hand linking their hands together.

"Together against the world" Castiel murmured looking over to him with a smile. Dean couldn't return his smile but moved closer kissing him gently. Castiel closed his eyes running his free hand into his sweaty hair moving his lips against his.

"I love you" Castiel said when they parted.

Dean smiled gently resting his forehead against his. "Sleep"

Castiel frowned at him for not saying it back and shook his head.

"I love you too" he whispered kissing over his eyelids "Sleep, Cas"

Despite what he said, Castiel felt scared. He didn't like this one bit and knew something was seriously off. Dean tucked his head underneath his chin wrapping his arms around his body shushing him. Castiel sighed knowing he was probably being stupid and settled closing his eyes.

Dean couldn't sleep. He stared at the window seeing nothing but darkness and feeling Castiel's warm breath on his neck as he slept on obliviously.

Dean knew he was going to destroy Castiel in a few hours but it had to be done. Ellen and Jo had intervened and he did question why it was so wrong. But it was the fact that there was no reasonable explanation. Ellen had told him this was wrong and he understood that but why was it wrong? Dean thought to the news articles he had read about teachers having affairs with students, did they have happy endings? No, they were sent to prison, or fired, disgraced by the public and Dean couldn't deal with that. He loved him, there was no denial in that and he didn't regret him but it had to end.

If Castiel was willing to sacrifice himself then Dean must sacrifice everything.

Dean looked down to Castiel and grabbed his hand gently linking his pinkie with Castiel's staring at them for a moment. Dean broke the link and bit his lip feeling tears shadow his eyes.

"I'm sorry"

**~0~**

Castiel woke up alone in a warm bed. He moaned rubbing his eyes and looked over to see it was nearly 7am.

"Dean?" he whispered pushing off the covers and pulling on his t-shirt and underwear. Castiel padded out of the room to see Dean sat on the couch sipping a drink. Castiel frowned concerned and walked over to him taking away the glass.

"Drinking at 7am, Dean?" he murmured walking over to the sink and throwing it away. "I don't want to see you die at 40 of liver disease"

Dean watched him sullenly and swallowed rubbing his sore eyes.

"How long have you been here?"

"An hour" Dean murmured croakily standing up to look out of the dark window. Castiel shivered looking around and walked over to Dean slowly touching the small of his back. Dean flinched moving away from his touch with a sigh leaving him wounded and confused.

"Dean?"

Dean stared at his kitchen and sighed turning around to face him.

"I've been thinking a lot…about everything, about us, about this whole situation and already three people have found out"

"Three?"

"Ellen, Jo told her" Dean muttered keeping a safe distance away from him. Castiel gaped and bit his lip knowing that meant big trouble.

"Will she tell?"

"I don't know" Dean said shaking his head. "But I know one thing"

Castiel stared at Dean confused as he avoided his eye contact looking down at the floor.

"We have to end"

Castiel blinked startled and shook his head. "What?"

"This…this has to end, we can't carry on"

Castiel opened his mouth and closed it with a snap not quite digesting Dean's words. They made no sense to him at all.

"End? You mean…break things off?"

"End, Cas! You know, no more us, no more of this, over" he ranted gesturing with his hands while Castiel stared at him with wide eyes.

"I don't understand…last night you…" he said trailing off when realisation hit him.

"It was goodbye, Cas" he said still not meeting his eyes.

"I knew something was wrong" Castiel whispered in a croaky voice. "You were being so gentle and so loving with me, and I mean you always are but…it was different"

"It's for the best" Dean murmured.

Castiel looked up at him and stepped towards him raising a finger. "You promised me we would not end if shit hit the fan, Dean, and it has but…Dean, you can't"

"Cas, three people have found out about us now and I can't…Cas, I could go to prison for this!"

"I would protect you!"

"You're eighteen years old, Cas, they won't believe you! They'll think you're covering for me which you are!" Dean yelled at him.

Castiel bit the inside of his cheek and could his form vibrating. "I will lie till I have no breath left if it keeps you from prison"

"I'd still be fired from my job, I'd have my family looking at me in disgrace, and everyone will hate me for what I'm doing with you. Cas, they won't care what we say and what we feel; they'll turn this into something it isn't".

"I don't care!"

"Well I do! I'll be damned if I am letting you take the full responsibility for this, Cas, we are ending this now before we risk anymore damage"

Castiel felt something shatter inside him as Dean's eyes turned towards him meeting his and he saw cold, hard, determination. He stepped forward until he was in his personal space and cupped the sides of his neck quickly.

"Please, please, don't do this" he begged looking into his eyes. "We can find a way around it! There is always a way, Dean"

"Not in this, Cas, we were so caught up in this affair that we forgot reality. We forgot about family, our friends, our lives"

"You're my life"

Dean shook his head looking down at the floor.

"You're just a teenager, Cas, you have a whole life in front of you and you will meet someone"

Castiel gritted his teeth removing his hands and moving back from him.

"This isn't you; you would never say this unless someone made you do this. You love me"

"This is me waking up!" Dean protested. "I am doing this for us, for the right reasons"

"Screw the right reasons!"

"We are wrong!" Dean shouted at him.

"You promised me!" Castiel shouted back furiously and in his anger flung out his hand smashing a vase hard on the floor. Dean flinched closing his eyes and turning his head away from me. Dean could hear Castiel's hitched breathe and the sobs covering his throat.

"Promises are sometimes broken" Dean whispered.

"Not this one, not this one, Dean, I trusted you. I thought you would keep this for me…I need you"

"No you don't, Cas, you need someone your own age who you can kiss in public, hold hands, and do all that PDA crap"

Castiel stared at him with shiny wet eyes. "Like Balthazar"

Pain ripped through his chest and Dean exhaled with a nod. Castiel shook his head letting the tear fall down his cheeks shamelessly.

"I don't want Balthazar, I want you" he sobbed feeling vulnerable and shattered. Dean longed to reach out and take it all back but Ellen's words echoed in his head.

"My decision is final" he said in a cold voice.

Castiel breathed in deeply and stared at him in horror. "Your decision is final? Don't I get a say in this!"

"No"

"I love you! Please don't do this" Castiel begged him. "I don't want to lose you, Dean, I didn't mean for this to happen but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't care about your age or anything to do with that! You promised me you would never leave me…"

Dean moved forward gripping his shoulders startling him.

"Listen to me!" he said through gritted teeth. "We are over, nothing will change my mind. This is a silly little mistake now and we can both move on with our lives, Cas! I need you to forget everything I said, Cas, and I want you to move on and live your life"

Tears coated Castiel's cheeks as he stared at him in disbelief and gasped when he let go of him with a shove. Dean walked away facing his back towards him covering his mouth, his heart pounded and ached screaming in horror.

Castiel's chest heaved with sobs fighting to claw itself out.

"You said…you said I wasn't a mistake, you said you would never regret me"

"Yeah, well it's a little different when reality hits" he murmured.

Castiel crumbled crying freely and squeezing his eyes shut in complete defeat. He was well and truly broken. Dean turned his head to see him staring at the broke vase on the floor and swallowed facing him.

"Don't come see me in school, Cas, no more visiting me. We'll keep out of each other's way and with your studying it should be easier"

Castiel looked up at him and inhaled shakily with a sob. "I-I better get dressed"

Dean bobbed his head not looking at him as he stumbled into the bedroom collecting his jean and pulling them on. Dean covered his hands over his face feeling tears prickle in his eyes and a constant voice replaying in his mind.

"_What have you done!"_

Castiel brought his hand to his mouth and wiped away his tears feeling like a complete fool. He looked to the bed and shook his head in disbelief; he should have known it was goodbye.

Castiel had to know one thing. He walked back in to see Dean still stood in the same position; Dean turned his head to look at him.

"Answer me this one thing…" Castiel said shakily. "Do you love me? Did you really mean it last night?"

Dean pressed his lips together and looked away from him not knowing whether to ruin him completely with a "no" or give him hope with a "yes"

Castiel clung to the side of the door waiting for the reply when Dean turned towards and nodded once.

"But it changes nothing" Dean said coolly.

Castiel felt his heart break and could watch as Dean walked past him and opened the front door. Castiel turned to look at him and the open door.

"I thought you'd be the one who would never hurt me" he murmured looking over to him. "But you just break promises and break hearts don't you, Dean?"

Dean swallowed looking down at the floor still holding the door open. Castiel felt a tear slide out of his eye and crumbled feeling everything breakdown to dust and walked out of the door heading out into the cold early morning. Dean closed his eyes shutting the door behind him and leaned against it breathing out.

Dean cleared his throat moving into the bedroom and dropping down on Castiel's side leaning his head on the side of the pillow. His scent overwhelmed him and nothing or nobody could make him feel any worse than he did now.

Castiel didn't know where he was going till he ended up outside of his house, he didn't want to go home and no one else would understand. He knocked on the door hoping he was awake and getting ready. The door unlocked and Castiel stepped back when the door opened and Balthazar stood there looking tired and confused.

"Cassy?"

"I..." he said trailing off as tears crept out of his eyes. Balthazar moved forward concerned and tilted his chin up.

"What's happened? Are you hurt?" he said looking over him for any sign of injury.

Castiel shook his head and Balthazar instantly clicked on.

"Oh" he breathed bringing him towards him hugging him tight. Castiel clung to him needing that support right now and it didn't matter who it was. Balthazar shushed him softly stroking the back of his hair and knew now he had to mend those broken pieces of a heart.

**A/N: This is, in my opinion, my best chapter. I loved writing this. **

**Thank you for all your reviews! Don't worry! You know I'll make it better again. **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Some of you mentioned Castiel and Balthazar now being together. That is not the case. I have already said that they won't be together like that. He's a shoulder to cry on and a friend, nothing more. Just FYI. **

Castiel drew away from Balthazar breathing hard and shook his head.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry…I shouldn't have come here but…" he said gesturing into thin air. "It's early and I didn't want to face Gabriel and Anna like this"

"It's alright, come in" Balthazar said gripping his wrist and tugging him inside. "My parents are out of town"

"Why?" Castiel murmured when he sat him on a chair in the kitchen.

"Business, well if they call shagging their personal assistants and people in the gym business then who am I to judge them?" Balthazar responded with a snort pouring hot coffee in a cup and pushing it towards him.

Castiel blinked at the new information and sipped the coffee with a sigh of relief.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Dean broke it off" he murmured with a sniff.

The reality of the situation still hadn't sunk in and he looked over to Balthazar who was regarding him thoughtfully.

"You look emotionally destroyed"

"I feel it" he whispered covering a hand over his eyes. "I'm so tired"

"Do you want to sleep for a while?"

"What about school?"

"Skip" Balthazar said with a shrug indicating his head for him to follow him and they moved upstairs. Castiel looked around the spacious house and realised this was the first time he had been here and it was huge, it was posh, and filled with expensive items.

"Here" Balthazar said pushing open a white door to reveal a spare room with an expensive looking king sized bed.

"Balthazar, I can't…" he whispered turning towards him.

"You can, I insist" he murmured shoving him towards it. "You look dead on your feet, emotionally drained, and I can't have you like this when we talk about what's happened"

Castiel sighed kicking off his shoes and crawling on top and turning to face him.

"You seriously don't mind"

Balthazar smiled patting his knee gently. "Sleep"

Castiel felt a painful kick to his insides at that word and sighed rolling onto the pillow and closing his eyes. Dean's words pounded in his head and he bit his lip feeling tears fill behind his closed lids and squirmed feeling sick. Castiel inhaled and frowned confused smelling something familiar and pulled his t-shirt over his nose. He groaned smelling Dean on his t-shirt and pulled the cover over his body wanting to cocoon in the warmth and smell.

It was sinking into his system now that they were over, Dean had meant it. It hurt more than he imagined and he felt the lull of sleep pull him down and drifted off into a deep sleep. But while he prayed for a dreamless sleep, it wasn't granted.

In his dream, Castiel was bound to a chair and surrounded by the familiar sight of the warehouse. Castiel panicked looking over his shoulder to see his hands bound in the same tight rope and panicked looking around.

"Hello?" he called out and swallowed closing his eyes. "It's just a dream, it's just a dream"

"Yes…you keep telling yourself that" a voice said and he opened his eyes to see his father standing in front of him toying with a silver blade.

"You're not real…you're not real!" he shouted struggling against the bonds.

"But I am" Charles said walking over and slicing the blade slowly down his cheek watching the blood pool to the skin and smiling when Castiel screamed. Castiel whimpered struggling away from him in disbelief.

"Oh my poor sweet child, what has that omen done to you?" he mused swiping the blood from his finger and popping into his mouth sucking it away. Castiel stared at him with wide eyes while he grinned maliciously and bent down to look into his eyes.

"I'm going to kill you, my son, I'm going to kill you so you can be rid of this demon inside you" he cooed stroking a hand down his thigh. "It's because I care…but now I have to decide what to do about him"

Castiel sobbed looking over to where he was pointing with the knife and inhaled seeing Dean leaning against the wall watching with a sombre expression.

"D-Dean?" he whispered looking over to him and back to his father. "You don't even know him!"

"But I do, oh but I do, Castiel, and he is the devil" Charles whispered with a sweet smile. "Do you know what we do with the devil?"

"No" he whispered feeling tears run down and sting the cut across his face. The blood trickled down soaking his t-shirt and skin in a slow trickle.

"We kill it!" he shouted so loud it made Castiel flinch and squeeze his eyes shut. He heard a scuffling and a gurgling in front of him and let out a gasp opening his eyes slowly and freezing. Charles was gone and now stood Dean in front of him drenched in his own blood and the silver knife sticking out of his throat. Dean gargled staring directly at Castiel who opened his mouth and screamed till he was hoarse. Castiel sobbed shaking his head and opened his eyes again to see Balthazar shaking him and standing over him scared.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Castiel, you scared the shit out of me!" Balthazar shouted holding him while he trembled clinging to him. "Are you okay?"

"Nightmare, oh my god" he breathed when Balthazar hugged him tight in complete disbelief and confusion.

"You just can't catch a break" Balthazar murmured stroking the back of his hair again while Castiel sobbed in anguish against his shoulder.

"It felt so real" he whispered touching his unscarred cheek and pulling away to look at his hand. "What time is it?"

"Nearly 10, you've been asleep about two hours" Balthazar said pulling back and peering at him. "You okay now?"

"I think so" he murmured drawing his knees up against his chest and wiping his eyes. "I have no idea where that came from"

"What happened?"

Castiel shook his head closing his eyes and placing it against his knees. Balthazar sighed moving onto the bed and sitting cross legged.

"Okay, so are you going to tell me what happened between you and Dean?"`

Castiel remained there for a long moment taking control of his breathing and over erratic heartbeat and nodded looking over to him.

"Last night he called me over, it was random and out of the blue, he took me to bed and we…well you know" Castiel said gesturing and smiling a little when Balthazar wrinkled his nose up.

"It was different, there something was weird and off about it but I just thought with everything going on…well I was wrong. I woke up and Dean wasn't there, he was on the couch drinking and I stopped him. Dean started going on about how he had been thinking a lot recently and three people have found out"

"Three?"

"Jo told her mother, Ellen" Castiel murmured with a deep sniff. Balthazar opened his mouth and scoffed in disgust.

"Interfering cow!"

"She was only doing what she thought was best"

"By nosing in other people's business and ruining relationships? She's a stupid bitch" Balthazar murmured bitterly. Castiel eyed him with pained but amused eyes.

"He said we had to end it and I didn't believe him at first…I made Dean promise me that I shit ever hit the fan and things become so complicated that there was no way out we would not split up. Dean broke the promise and I got so angry I smashed a vase"

Balthazar chuckled for a second and nodded at him to continue.

"He broke my heart but I can't blame him"

"Why not?"

"Because I acted like a child, Balthazar, I know that now" Castiel murmured tilting his head towards the window thoughtfully. "I can understand why he did it, and I hate that he broke his promise to me but…he did it for the right reasons"

Balthazar regarded him thoughtfully. "You could have never truly been together"

Castiel turned to look at him with a hard look. "I never said that"

"Be serious"

"I am being serious, if no one had found out, we'd still be together. I would have waited for however long it was to be with him"

"Well it's over now"

"For now" Castiel murmured picking at the cover. "I know I was foolish to believe certain things…to believe he would keep his promise and to believe we wouldn't be caught"

"There's also the fact you're student and teacher and have a huge age gap"

"They don't matter!"

"They kinda do, Cassy, he's nine years older than you and is a lot more mature and responsible"

Castiel straightened up cocking his head at him with a stony glare.

"What are you trying to say?"

Balthazar sighed rolling his eyes and poked him in the leg. "That there is an age gap between you and Dean and maybe…that's part of the reason he ended it"

"No, he doesn't care about the age gap" Castiel said looking away from him.

"Maybe he does and hasn't told you"

"Why are you saying these things?"

"Because I'm trying to make you see sense"

"You are not helping" Castiel replied bitterly. "I came here because you are the only one who truly understands, Balthazar, you know how I feel about him and now it's over. I don't know what I'm supposed to do"

Castiel sniffed leaning his cheek against his knee huddling further into himself feeling like a big baby but he simply didn't care. He felt hollow, cold, and hurt, and the dream didn't help one little bit.

Balthazar sighed looking over him and moved off the bed walking out of the room leaving him to his thoughts feeling bitter and angry. He just didn't know why.

**~0~**

Dean stared down at the desk looking over the essay pages seeing the words but not reading them. His head felt like it was underwater and he had never felt more shit in his entire life.

His head fell back hitting the chalkboard and he rubbed his eyes wanting nothing more than to sleep but knew it was impossible. Castiel hadn't come in and neither had Balthazar. The thought made his stomach turn and twist in fear but he knew now he had no right.

Dean's perfect beating heart ached and he realised now what heartbreak truly was. He knew that a lot of people if they knew would say he didn't deserve to feel heartbreak but he did. Dean broke it off for the right reasons and he knew that they were better off having the memory of their time together instead of suffering through them.

Dean threw his pen down with a sigh lifting his hand up and stroking the bruised mark on the side of his neck caused by Castiel's lips. Dean didn't care who saw and questioned it, it was the last mark and he loved it.

There was a knock on his door and he glanced over to it startled.

"Come in"

Blonde curls peeked around and he sighed when he noticed Jo looking over to guiltily.

"Can I speak to you?"

"Sure" he said gesturing over to her to sit down. Jo hurried in and sat down biting her lip struggling with what to say.

"Jo, whatever you have to say, just say it" Dean said with a sigh.

"Is it over between you two?" she whispered.

"Yes" he said with a nod looking in her eye. Jo searched them and saw no hint of a lie, only pain and hidden sadness. Jo swallowed running a hand through her hair and breathed out deeply.

"He's not in today and he won't even answer my calls…I only did what I thought was best"

Dean looked away from her shuffling his papers and snorted.

"Yeah…mother like daughter"

Jo blinked shocked and looked up at him. "You know it was wrong"

"Yeah, Jo, yeah I know it was" Dean said loudly looking towards her making her jump in her seat clutching it. "I know it was wrong, I know it was breaking every rule in that fucking book but you know what? I didn't care. I don't regret him, Jo, I can lie to him and tell him I do but I don't"

Dean leaned forward looking into her eyes.

"But why is it wrong? Is it our age, the fact we are student and teacher, or something entirely different? You tell me, Jo, you tell me why I had to stand in front of Cas this morning and break his heart because…it's wrong"

Jo's eyes were wide in fear and she inhaled sharply shaking her head. "It's the law"

"The law" Dean said with a snort. "A man can rape and murder a woman and get five years while a woman or a man attempts fraud or privacy or something different and go away for ten years"

Jo gritted her teeth hiding her trembling hands.

"Now that is wrong" Dean said standing up and filing away the essays.

"It's for the best, Dean" Jo said staring at the chalkboard. "He's my friend and I don't want to see him hurt…"

"Jo?"

Jo looked over to him to see Dean looking back at her with no expression on his face.

"He is now"

**~0~**

Balthazar was cooking in the kitchen when he heard footsteps run down the stairs and into the kitchen. Castiel appeared looking flushed and agitated.

"Whoa, Cas, what's going on?" Balthazar said when he stopped in front of him.

"I have to go see someone"

"Who? Dean?"

"He wouldn't see me even if I wanted to" Castiel said with a sigh pulling on his jacket. "His name is Chuck and he told me this would happen"

"What? Cas, you are making no sense" Balthazar said gripping his shoulders tight holding him still. "Explain"

"Chuck is a psychic, I went to see him a few weeks ago and he told me this would happen! He told me a friend would find out and out us for the right reasons then Dean and I would end on bad terms"

"So why are you going to see him?"

Castiel sighed moving his hands away from him.

"To see if it's truly over between us"

"It's only been a few hours since he ended it!" Balthazar protested moving towards the door.

"I know but do you really think I am going to give up on him?"

Balthazar swallowed looking down at the floor and shook his head. "No, you're a stubborn ass"

Castiel smirked opening the front door and looking back to him. "I love him"

Balthazar nodded watching him close the door and nibbled on his lip wandering back into the kitchen knowing Castiel was just going to cause further heartache.

Castiel headed towards the house and knocked with fierce determination. Chuck sighed deeply opening the door and blinked startled to see Castiel.

"Castiel?" he said backing up when Castiel stormed in and slammed the door.

"It came true, Chuck, everything you hinted at became true!" he shouted watching Chuck hit the wall looking frightened.

"Look, I only see what I am meant to and it…it happened! I can't help what the future brings. Castiel" he said holding up his hands in defence.

Castiel snorted amused flashing his eyes up towards him.

"Have you seen anymore?"

"Bits and pieces" Chuck said moving from the wall and grabbing the vodka bottle on the side. "Why?"

"I need to know if this is truly the end for me and Dean"

"Why you and everyone else can't let it play out, I don't know!"

"Because I tried to stop it from happening" Castiel shouted at him. "I made him promise me he wouldn't leave me and he did, Chuck, but you already knew that…you knew he would break us off as soon as things started getting scary"

"Dean was doing what he was thought was right, just like Jo, and just like Ellen" Chuck said with a helpless shrug.

"I know" Castiel breathed looking down at the brown stained carpet of his house and back up to him. "Please tell me there is a little bit of hope for us"

Chuck sighed scratching behind his back and turned in his chair grabbing a file and flipping it open.

"I don't know what you want me to say to make this all better" Chuck said throwing up his hands. "This is nothing, this is words on a piece of paper, Castiel, and you knowing what is going to happen will only hurt more"

"So…there is no hope?" he whispered staring at him with desperate eyes.

Chuck closed his eyes and reopened them pressing his lips together. "Fate moves in mysterious ways and right now, you're hurting, Dean is hurting, and it feels like your heart has been ripped from your chest while you watch hasn't it?"

"Yes" he whispered twisting his hands together.

"You're so young, Castiel, and half of Dean wants you to move on with a young guy your own age but you're not going to do that are you?"

"I can't" Castiel replied with heat and determination in his voice.

"Neither does he" Chuck said with a small mysterious smile. "Like I said, fate moves in mysterious ways and perhaps something will happen that will bring you together again or just rip you apart even more"

"It's like a puzzle and a riddle wrapped together"

"Only you can solve it"

Castiel eyed him up and down before nodding glancing away from him. "I'm not going to give up or forget what he said to me, I don't want to do that"

"Then don't" Chuck said flipping the file over and leaning back in his chair. "But I have to warn you…be careful"

"Why?" Castiel replied looking up to him now confused.

"That's all I'm saying, be very careful, Castiel, and I'm not talking about Dean" he said in a stern voice. Castiel felt a fear strike him in the heart and he swallowed staring at the concern and worry in his eyes. What did he mean?

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! You made me smile so much. I always doubt my writing and just thank you. **

**Anyway, enjoy.**


	25. Chapter 25

It had been a whole week since the split and Castiel wasn't coping. With his nightmares more than frequent, it was taking a toll on his life. Every night he dreamed of the same thing and each time he watched Dean die in front of him. The death was always the same, a knife in his throat while his cold dead eyes watched him. Castiel had screamed himself hoarse at night till he woke up sweating and crying needing to be held and comforted.

He often woke up at 2am and stayed awake studying instead of sleeping which meant he had a total of four hours' sleep every night. Castiel was exhausted and sick. It meant he wasn't eating food either which worried Anna.

"Castiel?" Anna called up to him that Thursday evening. "Do you want a sandwich?"

"No" he murmured walking down for a glass of water.

Anna eyed him up and down concerned.

"You look awful, Castiel, you have bags underneath your eyes, you're hardly eating, what's going on?" she said looking over to him.

"Nothing is going on"

"You haven't been going out or staying over with your mysterious guy anymore…have you split up?" she questioned carefully. Castiel poured the water and nodded looking over to Anna who grimaced in sympathy.

"I'm sorry, Cas"

"Sorry for what? It's isn't your fault so why should you be apologising?"

"It's what you say when someone is upset or hurt even if it isn't there fault" Anna snapped.

Castiel glared at her before walking back upstairs to return to his studies.

"If you don't eat you're going to get ill!" Anna shouted up to him.

"Yes" Castiel said shutting his door on her and picking up his phone to see one new message. His heart stuttered for a moment in hope only to have it crushed when he saw it was from Jo. Jo had desperately trying to condone her own actions and beg for his forgiveness.

"I was just looking out for you!" she shouted to him when he walked away from her. Balthazar following as he always did while she stayed behind wondering how she could fix it. Castiel hadn't seen Dean all week and it was killing him. He avoided history like it was the plague but the urge to go in and see him was overwhelming.

Castiel sat down on his desk resting his head into his hands and inhaled feeling sicker than ever. He pulled his phone towards him bringing up Dean's number and texting it.

**I don't care if this is breaking the rules. I miss you more than I ever thought. **

Castiel sent the risky text and placed it down wondering if he would reply. Dean never did.

It was midnight when his eyes drooped and he sighed crawling into the bed and resting his head.

"Just one dreamless sleep" he whispered settling down. It wasn't granted and he endured watching his father kill Dean all over again. Castiel woke up with a gasp and scrambled up against his headboard.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes feeling dizzy and sick. Castiel jumped up darting to the toilet and throwing watery sick that smelt funny and wrong. He sat back heavily hearing a creak on the hallway and turned to the door to see Anna knocking and stepping inside.

"I heard you being sick"

"Clever observation" he mumbled with a moan.

Anna dropped down to her knees sweeping her hand over his forehead in a gentle manner.

"You look awful"

"I'm fine"

"You've had nothing to eat, you're studying harder than ever, and now this? Castiel, please…"

"Please what?"

"Start caring for yourself"

"I am"

Anna narrowed her eyes casting them over him and shook her head. "Go get more sleep, Cas, cut down on the studying and start eating"

Castiel swallowed tasting the bitter taste of his sick and looked down at his hands.

"That's not what I need" he whispered.

"What do you need?"

"I need him" he murmured when he was out of earshot and walking to his bedroom. Castiel switched on the lamp pulling his math book towards him and settled down for another few hours of studying. He didn't want to dream so that meant no more sleep.

Hours before, Dean had received the text message when he was sat with Sam and Daniel. His heart gave a horrible squeeze and he could do nothing more than to ignore the message.

"Are you going to explain your behaviour or…" Sam said jiggling Daniel who wailed softly.

"My behaviour?"

"Well, you used to come round all the time and then you stopped, you seemed happier, and Jess and I honestly believed you finally had someone secret and now…" Sam said trailing off with a shrug. "Has something happened?"

"I did have someone but it was early days…it ended" Dean muttered with a shrug.

"How come?"

"Complications" he murmured looking away from him.

Sam frowned looking at Daniel who was sucking on his fist and looking a little disgruntled.

"I want you to settle down, Dean"

"Concentrate on your own life"

"I'm trying to help" he remarked raising an eyebrow at him. Dean scowled rolling his eyes at him and looked around the small living room.

"Where's Jess?"

"Parents, it's just you, me, and Daniel" Sam said with a smile. "Are you going to tell me who this mysterious person was then?"

"No"

"Why? It's over now isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I'm not telling you"

"I thought we told each other everything"

"You waited five months to tell me Jess was pregnant, you also waited to tell me you were getting married!"

"That was one time!"

Dean scoffed amused tilting back his head with a sigh.

"If I told you, Sam, you wouldn't believe me" Dean said in a tired tone. Sam frowned placing Daniel on the floor watching him crawl over to his toy dog on the floor.

"Well who was she?"

Dean smirked shaking his head and turned towards him.

"Remember back in high school when I had that phase? Boys and girls?"

"Yeah?"

"I never left it, Sam"

Sam frowned glancing away from him and opened his mouth in realisation. Dean nodded and looked away from him feeling a warm flush rise on his cheeks at the sudden declaration.

"So…the person was a…guy?" Sam said feeling awkward.

"Yeah" Dean said scratching behind his neck. "Look, I don't want to talk about it, Sam, it's over now"

"He made you happy though?"

"Yeah he did"

Dean fidgeted nervously and let out a sigh standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"Home, I have essays to mark" he murmured picking up Daniel and pressing a brief kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you later, little man, and I'll see you later, big man"

Sam sneered at him and held out his hands for his baby.

"See you tomorrow?"

Dean nodded once feeling a heavy sense of discomfort. He headed out of the door pulling out his phone to look over the message and traced his thumb over it gently.

"I know the feeling" he murmured to the phone before pocketing it and stepping into his car. All he wanted was a good shot of whiskey, good company, and sex. Dean missed that more than anything and it didn't help that his last memory of sex hurt the most.

He entered the empty apartment and sighed loudly throwing his keys into the bowl with a loud clank which echoed. Dean hated the silence more than anything and decided the best idea would be the crawl into bed and sleep away his loneliness. If anybody could see him now, Dean knew they would think of him to be completely pathetic. They would say it was his own fault.

Dean sighed rolling over to the side Castiel used to sleep on and buried his face into the pillow. It smelled faintly of his shampoo and now of Dean as well. It was strangely reassuring and held a small comfort for Dean which he could cling to.

**~0~**

Balthazar looked over Castiel that next morning and could feel his heart quicken a little and his eyes go wide. It wasn't in attraction, it was in concern.

"What the hell" Balthazar breathed tilting his chin up to look into his eyes. "Why…why do you look skinnier, plus look like you've had 30 minutes sleep, and look like death itself"

"Because I'm pretty" he said sarcastically shoving his fingers away. "I'm fine!"

"You're a bad liar"

"Why won't anyone believe me!" he protested and closed his eyes when a wave of vertigo hit him.

"Because you're not" Balthazar said gripping his arm and leading him to the vending machines. "You need chocolate"

"No, I really don't" Castiel protested when a bar felt down.

"Eat it" Balthazar said thrusting it at him with hard eyes. Castiel sighed unravelling it and biting into the stickiness before gagging and thrusting it at him.

"No, no" he murmured shaking his head and grabbing his water bottle. Balthazar threw it away and turned back towards him.

"What are you doing?"

Castiel frowned around his bottle of water and turned towards him. "What are you on about?"

"This past week and last week you've gone so downhill you're crashing, Cassy, and I don't like it"

"I'm fine, Balthazar, really, I am just struggling with my nightmares"

"Which you still won't tell me about!" he said aghast.

"Because it's difficult to explain" Castiel said with a snort. "I'm going to math"

Balthazar watched him walk away and lashed out striking his foot at the vending machine and gritting his teeth at the throb in his foot. It was maddening to see someone falling apart in front of you and not being able to help them in the slightest. Balthazar wanted to help him, he wanted to take care of him and make him happy, but he had no idea how. He knew the only person who could make Castiel truly happy was Dean and with the situation how it was, it was impossible.

Castiel headed down the corridor feeling lightheaded and dizzy and didn't notice when he walked into someone.

"Oh god, I'm sorry" he murmured stepping back and looking up to see Dean staring back at him.

"It's okay" he murmured softly.

Castiel let out a little sigh of relief looking up at him feeling the sickness ebb away at the mere sight of him. Dean raised an eyebrow at him surprised.

"What?"

"Nothing, did you get my message?"

"Yeah"

Castiel frowned deeply now knowing he was being ignored and sidestepped him.

"Whoa" Dean said when he wobbled and looked around the near empty hallway before dragging him inside the classroom.

"Okay, Casper, what's happened?"

"Casper?"

"You look like a ghost, Cas, what's going on?"

"Why do you care?" he snapped shoving his hands away.

Castiel watched the hurt flicker in Dean's eyes and felt bad for snapping at him but didn't mention it.

"You know I care…"

"Well the last time we spoke like this, Dean, you were breaking my heart" Castiel said peering up at him. Dean sighed rubbing a hand over his chin and poked him hard in the chest that he winced flinching away.

"I did that for the right reasons"

"The wrong reasons"

"I still care, Cas!"

"No you don't!"

"What's happening with you?"

"Nothing…I'm okay, Dean" he said attempting to sound reassuring but was met with a hard look. Dean traced his thumb underneath the dark circle under his eyes and shook his head slowly; Castiel closed his eyes at the gentle touch and leaned in resting his forehead against his cheek.

"Cas…"

"Give me a moment" he murmured inhaling his smell and pulling back with a moan. "I hate this"

"I know" he whispered pushing his hands into his jeans and watching him closely. Castiel looked to the door and back to Dean.

"We might get caught, so I better go" he said turning his back on him and walking out of the room. Dean closed his eyes feeling an ache run down his chest and he pressed it down moving to flop on his chair and curse everything and everyone.

Castiel breathed out leaning against the door feeling sweaty and his heart racing.

"Cas?" Jo shouted over to him.

He nodded breathing out deeply and walked across the path towards them underneath an oak tree. Jo looked over to Balthazar who was watching him carefully.

"He's never going to forgive me is he?"

"Maybe one day…Cas is hurting right now and your big nose got in the way"

Jo gawped covering a hand over her nose and narrowed her eyes at him. "Harsh"

Castiel stopped halfway towards them feeling a rush of noise inside his head, it was loud and echoing and he couldn't hear anything. His vision clouded and he could only see white and black like he had been punched very hard until he could see stars.

He could hear dimly voices calling out to him before a wave of unbearable pain, air, and solid ground beneath him and then…nothing.

"Oh my god!" Jo said rushing forward when Castiel collapsed on the ground and winced when she heard a crack. Balthazar skidded next to her in a panic calling his name.

"Can you hear me? Cas, Castiel!" he shouted pulling back his eyelid to see blown pupils. "Go get a teacher"

"What?" Jo said sounding and looking very frightened.

"A teacher! Now!" he shouted watching her jump up and run towards the doors. Jo had no idea where she was going but somehow ended outside of history.

"Dean!" she shouted opening the door and darting in. "It's Cas!"

"What?" he said astounded when she gestured at him.

"Come on!"

Dean ran after her as he headed outside to see a crowd surrounded by a figure on the floor.

"Move!" he ordered watching the students scatter and dropped down to his knees. "Cas? Cas, if you can hear me open your eyes"

Castiel remained immobile on the floor; Dean bent his head and hovered his ear over his mouth feeling gentle puffs of air.

"He's breathing"

"Dean…"Balthazar murmured turning Castiel's head with wide eyes. Dean cupped his hand around the back of his head and came away with a bloody hand. Fear like no other struck him and he swallowed fumbling with his phone.

"Ambulance please" he said when he dialled 911. "Balthazar, go get the principal"

Balthazar nodded darting up and away from the school. Students around whispered and talked loudly. "Cardozo High School, a student has fallen unconscious and may or may not have cracked his skull…there's blood"

Dean nodded when they said they were on their way and hung up stripping off his jacket and placing it under his hair. His fingers strayed into his hair gently and he swallowed pulling back staring down at his pale face.

"Move inside right now!"

Dean turned to his saviour to see Jody Mills ordering the students inside including Jo and he nodded at her when she crouched down staring down at him. Dean pressed the jacket over the head wound.

"Fell unconscious and whacked his head" Dean said when she questioned him.

He turned to see the principal, Martin Roberts, enter the yard followed by Balthazar.

"What's happened?"

"Student, Castiel Milton, fell unconscious and hit his head…am I right?" Dean said looking over to Balthazar who nodded.

"He's been sick" Balthazar said swallowing hard and glancing to Castiel on the floor. Dean wrapped a hand around his wrist taking his pulse and turned in relief when the sirens whirred in the distance.

"I'll go with him" Dean said looking over to Martin who nodded once.

"I'll get Marie to cover" Martin said. "I want a call on his progress, Dean"

"Yes"

Dean watched as Jody led Balthazar back inside as he looked back in fear. Dean stepped back when the paramedics ran on to the scene.

"What happened?"

"Fell unconscious, hit his head, and there's blood…I've tried to stem the blood flow but…" Dean said trailing a hand in his hair watching the man attach a mask to his face and put him on a stretcher.

"Minor head wound, continuing blood flow and no sign of conscious" the paramedic said as he was lifted into the ambulance. Dean heard a small sound escape half a whimper and half a choke of pain when he realised that kind of wound kills people. The brain and skull are fragile part of the human body and the last conversation he had with him wasn't the one he wanted to be the last.

"I'm coming too" Dean said climbing inside and sitting down on the seat watching the woman check over his vitals.

"His name?"

"Cas or Castiel Milton" he murmured pressing his hand over his mouth as they took off to the hospital and she called his name.

"Can you hear me? My name is Mary, Castiel, can you open your eyes for me?" she called shining a light into his eyes. "Nothing"

Dean inhaled shakily and could only watch as she attended to the bandage.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Let's just get him into the hospital first" she said turning to look at him with a gentle smile.

Dean placed his head into his hands feeling waves of his own sickness starting to affect him and he looked up to him knowing he was right about him being sick. He was pale as a ghost, tired and exhausted eyes, and a physique which had thinned down from lack of food he would guess. Dean knew he should have stopped him and demanded the truth but already he had an inkling. Dean knew that he suffered from nightmares which stopped when he came into Castiel's life; the moment he left they must have returned.

They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later to his delight and he could only watch and wait as Castiel was wheeled away and he was sent to the waiting room. Dean sat down heavily feeling like the world and its mother was placed on his shoulders and knew there was no getting out of it.

It seemed like hours had passed before a doctor came to see him and smiled gently.

"You are here with Castiel Milton, am I correct?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm his…teacher, how is he?"

"A minor head wound and a substantial amount of blood loss which wasn't harmful, we've managed to sustain it and cover it up and there seems to be no damage to the brain either" the doctor said. "He's physically and mentally exhausted from what we've discovered and has low blood sugar"

"That would be his studying and lack of eating" Dean murmured rubbing a hand over his face. "Can I see him?"

"Of course" the doctor said leading him into the ward and to a small bed in the corner where he was awake. Dean nodded at the doctor.

"He's still a little woozy from the pain medication so…give him time" the doctor said before taking his leave. Dean swallowed walking around and stopping in front of you.

"You son of a bitch" Dean whispered when Castiel looked up at him with dazed eyes.

"Dean?"

"You scared the crap out of me, Cas!" he hissed bending down so he was closer to him and trailed his fingers into his hair. Castiel closed his eyes leaning into his touch and hissing.

"They gave me stiches" he murmured when Dean stroked the un-bandaged hair.

"You passed out on a concrete floor, you could have died!"

"I'm sorry" he mumbled looking away and around him to see an old woman sleeping in the bed next to him. "It's my entire fault"

"What has been happening? You better tell me the truth because I swear to god…" Dean warned pulling a chair over and sitting down.

Castiel swallowed turning his head to look at him directly. "I've been having nightmares of my father killing you…I'm stuck in my chair and I have to watch as he stabs you in the throat every night. I can't do it, I couldn't do it, so I stayed awake studying in the early hours till the point of exhaustion"

Dean swallowed sliding his hand over and smiling weakly when Castiel twined their fingers together.

"Because I was so tired I didn't want to eat, it was draining me…my body just gave in and I couldn't hear or see before I collapsed"

"You're a stupid dick!" Dean hissed pressing his forehead over their hands. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"It all happened when it ended"

"So you're blaming me?"

"No, I'm telling you why it started"

Dean looked away from him with a set jaw watching the bleep off the machine showing his steady heartbeat.

"I don't blame you, Dean, I've had my nightmares since my father came for me and now…they've returned with a vengeance. I had you to forget about them and now…they're all I have"

"Cas…you can't continue like this"

"No, these people will help me" Castiel said gesturing around the ward. "The nurses and doctors, Dean"

"Oh they will, I'll make them" Dean said with wide eyes.

"I want to sleep"

Dean sighed closing his eyes and nodded reopening them, he reached over trailing his hands down the side of his cheek.

"Sleep"

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

Dean nodded watching and feeling him cling to his hand and close his eyes. Dean's eyes drifted around the ward but no one was paying any attention to them. Castiel could feel the lull of sleep and drifted off without hesitation or pain. Dean pressed a kiss over his knuckles feeling an overwhelming pang of sadness and could only blame himself for this. Nightmares of him dying had scared Castiel away from sleep and he had no idea. Pushing his chair closer to the bed, Dean let his cheek rest on the pillow next to him watching him sleep. Castiel moaned at the pain in his head and reached out for Dean who reassured him and stroked behind his ear, his favourite place.

Castiel could only see darkness and could smell the familiar smell of Dean around him and felt at peace for the first time in weeks. Dean rubbed the tip of his nose up his cheek resting there for a moment before pulling back and removing his hand very gently from his hand. Dean pulled out his phone walking out of the ward and was stopped when two figures burst in staring at him. Dean instantly knew who they were.

"Where's our brother!" Gabriel said in a headstrong and fearful voice.

"Castiel's brother and sister"

"Where is he!" Anna said and raced forward to the bed and inhaled looking at the bandage on his head. "Oh I knew something was wrong!"

"Oh yeah, say it when he's out cold and has a hole in his head" Gabriel muttered joining her.

Anna glanced over to Dean who was hovering unsure what to do.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Dean Winchester, I am the history teacher of Cardozo"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him and looked over Castiel's chart while Anna stared at him with a cocked head so similar to Castiel.

"His history teacher? Dean?" she said questioning him.

"Yes, um, if you'll excuse me I have a school to call" he said waving his mobile and hurrying out.

"Strange guy" Gabriel murmured looking over to Anna. "Anna?"

Anna narrowed her eyes and swallowed turning back to Gabriel. "Sorry, I was just thinking"

Anna moved to sit in the empty chair staring at her brother's peaceful face and wondered if she would ever tell her little brother that she had one night picked up his phone in curiosity and read messages from a guy called D.

Anna frowned looking over to the closed doors and wondered for one second if it could possibly be true. Was the world that crazy or was it about to even crazier?

**A/N: A little angst to show how troubled Castiel really is…**

**Your reviews are like gold dust, each and every one. **


	26. Chapter 26

Castiel moaned restfully and stirred opening his eyes to see the hospital ceiling and turned his head to see Anna staring back at him. He blinked startled and looked around for Dean confused.

"Where…where's Dean?" he murmured feeling lightheaded and sore.

"Dean is getting a cup of coffee, Gabriel was here but he had to leave" Anna said taking his hand and squeezing it. "I was right about you being sick weren't I?"

"Yes" he whispered squeezing her hand back.

"I think I'm right about lots of things these days"

"What do you mean?"

Anna shook her head when he closed his eyes and sighed.

Dean re-entered the room with two coffees and handed one over to Anna and caught sight of Castiel awake.

"Oh"

Anna swallowed grabbing the coffee and placing it down. "Toilet"

Dean watched her leave and turned to Castiel who frowned beckoning him over, Dean dropped down in the seat and smiled when Castiel laced their fingers together.

"Has she said anything?"

"No, is she shy?"

"No why?"

"She hasn't spoken a word to me…only yes when I asked her if she wanted a coffee" Dean said with a shrug.

Castiel frowned looking over the now closed doors and back to Dean.

"You're still here?"

"I called the school and said I would wait till the doctor gave the all clear, Martin didn't mind since it's nearly the end of school"

"What? How long have I been asleep?"

"Six long hours" Dean said with a smile.

Castiel gaped and nodded looking up at him through his lashes and smirked when Dean gave him a knowing look.

"You love me" Castiel murmured.

"Shush" Dean said poking him in the arm. "Public place"

"Where everyone is dying?"

"Cas!"

Castiel chuckled and winced at the wound on his head. Dean noticed his pain and frowned in sympathy.

"Want me to get the nurse?"

"I want you to kiss me"

"You are delirious with the drugs" Dean said with a roll of his eyes. Castiel smirked rolling onto his side watching him closely when Dean sat back in his chair.

"Kiss me"

"We're in a very public place with sick people, nurses, and your sister"

"Then draw the curtain…"

"Cas, I ended it for a reason" Dean said in a soft voice. Castiel watched him with hurt eyes and sighed rolling back over.

"Fine"

Dean bit his lip closing his eyes knowing he was hurting and this just added to his pain. Castiel looked over to the woman dying in the bed next to him and was met with cold emotionless grey eyes that frightened him.

"Everyone is born in the world alone and it turns out that you die alone" Castiel murmured and watched as the grey eyes looked away from him. Dean's brow furrowed and he reached over tugging his arm so he faced him.

"Stop being morbid, Cas"

"I'm not" he whispered with a smile leaning forward and pecking his lips before drawing away. Dean looked around startled but no one noticed, Castiel winked and fell back on the pillow softly.

Outside of the door, Anna watched through the glass and swallowed looking away and down the corridor.

"God" she breathed taking a deep breath and walking back into the ward. Dean was sitting back in his chair watching Castiel closely.

"How are you feeling?" Anna questioned standing near the bed.

"Sick and sore"

Dean coughed and stood up pulling out his phone to check the time. "I better be off"

"Thank you" Anna said nodding at him when Castiel looked up at Dean and smiled. Dean met his gaze and tilted his head at him before nodding at Anna and walking out. Anna watched him leave before turning her gaze back towards him.

"I think we need to talk" Anna said circling the bed and sitting down. Castiel watched her and settled into the cushions when she clasped her hands together.

"Whatever you want to say, say it" Castiel said shifting so he was more comfortable.

"Are you going to explain to me why you are secretly seeing your history teacher?" she said startling him and was met with horrified blue eyes.

"What?" he whispered alarmed.

"I'm sorry, but the other week I grabbed your phone by accident mistaking it for my own cause they are similar and I read texts from a person called D. I mean, I thought I was mistaken when Dean introduced himself but I was curious about the interest he held and why he stayed for you but what I just saw confirmed it"

Castiel swallowed hard looking over to the window and back to Anna with realisation in his eyes.

"You saw me kiss him?"

"Yes, I saw you lean over and kiss him. I'm thankful it wasn't the other way around"

"Oh god" Castiel breathed leaning against his cushions. He had hoped to not have this conversation so soon and cursed himself for not putting a lock on his phone.

"Castiel, what is going on?"

Castiel opened his eyes and looked towards her to see no bitterness or hatred in her eyes just open curiosity and fear.

"You wouldn't believe me"

"Try me"

"Fine. I've been secretly seeing my history teacher since October 31st" he said looking over to her and watching as her eyes widened and she sucked in a shocked breath.

"Why?"

"Lust at first, I hated myself for wanting him but I couldn't help it and neither could he. He isn't a pervert, Anna, if that is what you are thinking because I know so many would and if he is with me, he could be with anyone. That's not the case, he tried so hard but I wouldn't cave and it just…happened".

Anna bit her lip leaning back in her chair and sliding her hands together clasping them hard.

"It's not seedy or disgusting because he isn't like that and he's ended it because it was the right thing to do at the time. I fell in love with him"

Anna looked at him and rubbed her lips together not speaking a word.

"Anna, say something!"

Anna smirked and covered her eyes shaking with laughter. Castiel stared at her shocked as she laughed and breathed in looking at him.

"You fool!" Anna said hitting his arm and sitting back giggling.

"What?"

"How old is he?"

"Dean's twenty six, there is a nine year difference between us" Castiel said with a shrug. Anna shook her head and coughed out her laughter before settling down.

"This is so you, you never listened or even obeyed a rule when you were little and you don't now. You threw away the rulebook and you made your own" Anna said amused.

"Why are you not furious?"

"I don't know, maybe that's Gabriel's job" Anna said with a shrug. "So is it really over?"

Castiel shrugged and looked around the ward. "It was over because my friend, Jo, found out and told her mom about us. Dean ended it when her mom told him to so…"

"He could go to prison, Cas"

"I know! Everyone keeps saying that and he won't, I won't let him. I was going to wait till I left school to be with him probably"

"Does he want that?"

"Yes" Castiel said with a nod. "I know he does"

Anna rolled her eyes at him and moved forward. "I'm not mad and I'm not going to threaten you to never see him again because you will anyway but I am telling you to be careful, Cas, this could so wrong for you and even him. I don't want to see you truly hurt"

"Hurt more than this?" Castiel said gesturing at his head.

"Yes" Anna said taking his hand and squeezing it. "I want you to concentrate on your studies and follow through on this future you want instead of throwing away"

"I am building my future, I want to become a doctor, I want to make money, and most of all I want him" Castiel said turning towards her. "I don't care about his age, his job, or even what everyone will think. I love him, Anna, I'm eighteen but I can still tell when someone has took my heart"

Anna sighed kissing his forehead and moving back. "If the whole world comes crashing down on you and everyone hates you…you will always have me"

Castiel looked up at her speechless and nodded slowly wrapping his arms around her neck and hugging her hard.

"Gabriel won't be the same" Anna warned hugging him back.

Castiel chuckled and let go. "Please don't tell him, not yet"

"He will have to know one day" she warned pointing a finger at him. "An older man? I can't believe it"

"I know, but he's so different"

Anna gave him a sidelong glance. "I had a crush on a teacher once when I was fourteen; I seriously liked him and planned out our marriage"

Castiel bit his lip amused when she laughed into her hand. "It must run in the veins"

"It must do"

"I didn't follow through on my little crush though"

"You are not me" Castiel said with a snort and closed his eyes feeling tired. Anna swallowed reaching out and moving away a stray hair on his forehead and didn't feel all comfortable with her little brother dating an older man plus a teacher but it was his decision. Anna had raised him with their father becoming a mother figure and a sister for him rolled into one. She refused to become the one who turned around and forbid him to ever see Dean; she wouldn't see her brother hating her.

Castiel drifted off peacefully thanks to the drugs in his system and felt a sense of peace.

**~0~**

Castiel woke up that morning and felt more than better when the doctor came to see him.

"I am going to prescribe you with sleeping tablets, Castiel, regular dosage every night and I have entrusted your sister to provide you with regular meals every day. I would also recommend a few days' rest, you don't want this happening again" the doctor said.

"Yes, I will…can I go?"

"You may but you will need to return in a week for us to remove those stiches"

Castiel nodded looking over to Anna who helped him out of the bed and he sighed.

"It's good to get out of here" he said fixing his jacket on and following her out carrying his bag of medicine with him.

"Rest remember"

Castiel snorted and followed her outside to the car and inhaled the smell of fresh air and felt a pang inside him. He wanted and needed to see Dean. Castiel eyed her and climbed in the car when she started it up.

"Gabriel is frantic to see you"

"Why isn't he here?"

"I left when he was still sleeping" Anna murmured and looked over to him. "Night shift, our brother is scrapping all our money together"

"Why?"

"So we're not poor forever"

"I'll get a job?"

"You will not!" Anna protested turning into the main road and settling back into the seat. "You have your finals in a few weeks, Cas, and we want you concentrating on them and nothing else"

"Not even Dean?"

"Not even him" she warned and he rolled his eyes looking out of the window. They were silent throughout the journey until they reached home.

"Get inside and lie down"

"I'm perfectly fine, Anna" he said with a huff when she shoved him inside and onto the couch. Anna laughed delicately and dropped his bag next to him.

"I asked you that the day before you fainted and cracked your head open didn't I? I don't believe you"

"I am!"

"I don't care! Lie down" she said watching him huff and lie down on the cushions with a pout and a mood. Castiel grumbled when she set about making him some real food.

"I am under strict orders to make sure you eat three meals a day, Castiel, and I will stick to it…" she ranted from the kitchen. Castiel watched her for a moment before jumping up and grabbing his keys creeping towards the door. He opened the latch carefully before slipping out and closing it quickly. Castiel didn't look back as he quickly walked away from the house and down the road.

"Gabriel must…still…be…asleep. Oh, Castiel" she said walking back inside the living room and gritting her teeth. "You are dead, sunshine"

Castiel rounded the corner and headed towards the apartments taking out his key that he still had in his possession and opened the main door.

Dean was in the middle of eating a burger when the door went and he turned towards it startled. Castiel smiled softly when he opened the door to reveal Dean who blinked at him.

"I came to stay thank you" Castiel said when he shot him a questioning look.

"Oh" Dean said confused and opened the door to let him in, Castiel accepted and stepped inside eyeing the place and was pleased to say it hadn't changed. Dean wiped his hands on his t-shirt and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge.

"I wasn't going to leave you on the ground, Cas, I'm better than that"

"But it's not just that, Dean, you stayed and you helped me" Castiel said facing him. Dean swallowed nervously and looked at his hair.

"How do you feel?"

Castiel hummed moving closer to him and tilted his head to let him see the stitches.

"I took the bandage off, it irritates me"

"It's there for a reason"

"You know I never listen to reason" he replied with a smirk when Dean looked him up and down. Dean felt nervous and agitated at the fact he was in his flat again and looking very attractive in tight black jeans defining his ass and a jacket he wanted to tear off.

"You should be going" Dean murmured avoiding his eye contact.

"Oh should I?" Castiel murmured eyes on his face. "I don't really want to"

"Cas, don't do this" Dean warned staring at his counter top.

"Do what?"

"This! Stop it" Dean warned when he hovered in his personal space and shrugged.

"I'm not doing anything, Dean, I'm simply standing here…but would it be so wrong?"

"Yes"

"You got your goodbye, where's mine?"

"Stop it"

"You keep telling me to stop it but you're not stopping me" Castiel murmured peering into his eyes and giving him a little smirk. Dean swallowed when licked his bottom lip and he followed the action breathing in and out deeply.

"It's not wrong, it's right. We've done this before, Dean, and I miss you" he murmured looking up at him through his lashes and touching his neck.

"Cas…" Dean whined pressing into him and Castiel gasped feeling a sense of triumph.

"I love you and I miss you, these past two weeks have driven me crazy…not seeing you, touching you, do you know how hard it is to not be able to kiss and hold the one you love?" Castiel murmured against his cheek feeling Dean quake and moan breathlessly into his ear.

"This is over, Cas, you know it's over. Stop this now" he hissed gripping his wrists and gasping when Castiel brushed his lips over his.

"It's not wrong" he whispered. "Screw the rules…don't think about anything, just feel"

Dean exhaled shakily when his hands cupped the sides of his neck and he hovered inches away from his lips.

"Your move, cowboy" Castiel whispered.

Castiel gasped when Dean moved towards him crashing his lips against his in an almost painful way. Dean cupped the back of his neck fully conscious of the fact he was still injured. Castiel whimpered gently when he pulled away backing him into the counter with a smack and reattached his mouth.

Dean was in way over his head as he pushed his tongue into his warm mouth tasting bad coffee and something sweet like cake, he grinded his hips against Castiel who gasped into his mouth pulling away with a moan.

"Bedroom…now!" he hissed gripping the back of Dean's hair. Dean grunted pulling off Castiel's shirt, picking him up so he could wrap his legs around him and carried him into the bedroom. Castiel groaned when he hit the bed and panted for more. It was a frantic race filled with need and passion as they stripped off their clothing. Dean pinned his wrists down when they were free of all clothing and sucked a wet path down his collarbone listening to his needy sounds.

Dean inhaled the sweet scent of his skin and groaned mouthing against it leaving harsh red marks, he hadn't realised how much he had missed this, missed him, and he couldn't get enough. Castiel gasped arching his back when slid his cold hands over his ribs and pressed his mouth over the bud of his nipple.

"Has anyone else touched you?" Dean said leaning over him when he shook his head.

"No…only you"

"Since the last time"

"Y-Yes" he stuttered when he angled his head and kissed under his ear.

"Good boy" he whispered into his ear and smirked when he moaned. Dean snatched the lube of the side table and wasted no time as he prepared him slicking the hole and his fingers. Castiel let out a cry when his fingers penetrated him and nearly wept in relief at how glad he had this again. Dean scissored the hole wide enough to slide in three fingers into the tight heat and crooked them deep inside him listening to him muffle a scream. Dean removed them kissing him hard and sheathed his cock deep inside him. Castiel gasped arching his neck leaving Dean to suck hard on his adam's apple leaving a mark.

Castiel spread his legs wider feeling every sensation inside him erupt and explode when he thrusted his hips harder inside him. Castiel wrapped a hand around his cock pumping hard only to have it slapped away and replaced by Dean's hand.

"Yes, god, yes, I love you!" Castiel rambled before letting out a heartfelt moan when he came and exploded onto Dean's chest. It felt like moments after when Dean rode out his own orgasm and climaxed inside Castiel. Dean faltered and collapsed leaning against Castiel who welcomed the warm weight. Dean pulled out when he was soft and dropped down on the bed with a hefty sigh. Castiel swallowed feeling a dull pain in the back of his head and looked over to Dean staring up at the ceiling.

"Let me guess…you regret it"

"That should have never happened! I ended it for a reason!" Dean hissed covering his hands over his eyes. "You're a tempting dick"

Castiel smirked amused and rolled onto his stomach pressing a tender kiss to his shoulder.

"It was amazing, I can't believe I've missed out on nearly three weeks now of sex. It's like cruel torture"

Dean rolled his eyes at him and watched as he parted his thighs and slid in between them resting on his chest.

"I don't want this end"

"It has too"

"No it doesn't…we can pretend we're not together when we are! Plus, we can pretend to hate each other, you…spineless, waste of air"

Dean gasped poking in the side watching him laugh and smiled at him shaking his head.

"That won't work!"

"It will! We'll make it work, carry on hating each other till after my finals, after my prom, and when I leave…boom! I've actually fell in love with him" Castiel replied nuzzling his nose against his stubble.

"You're insane"

"I am" Castiel said with a nod leaning his head against his chest. Dean kissed the top with a sigh.

"Cas…."

"Shush! No thinking, just feel" he muttered looking up at him. Dean bit his lip and stroked his fingers into his hair and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Castiel smiled underneath them and pulled away.

"So…secretly see each other but pretend to everyone we're not and we hate each other? We can have amazing sex to make up for it…or end it all now?"

Dean contemplated those questions and sighed rolling them over so Castiel was settled into the cushions staring up at him.

"Do you know how many times I have had a wet dream about you? Wanked myself raw over sex memories and watched you with Balthazar?"

"No" Castiel said with a smile.

"Enough times to know you have changed my life forever and if this is what I have to do to keep you then…so be it" Dean said with a shrug. "Screw the rules"

Castiel grinned wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a heated kiss.

"Forever and ever" Castiel murmured and laughed when Dean covered his mouth pushing him down into the covers.

**~0~ **

A man in a black suit and tie stepped forward to the guard who scanned him over and nodded letting him into the room. He looked over the glass where a man in his mid-forties with thinning brown hair and tired dark blue eyes sat waiting.

The man sat down and picked up the phone.

"I see you contacted Brady"

"I needed to get in contact with you, I had no other way…I'm sorry"

"What do you want, Charles?"

Charles swallowed glancing around and moved forward clasping the phone.

"I need you to get me out, Crowley" he whispered in a low voice

Crowley chuckled licking the inside of his mouth. "I don't just get anyone out, darling, you have good enough excuse and money then maybe…we have a deal"

"I have three children out there and one of them is in danger"

"Poor excuse"

"No! Listen…" Charles snarled and breathed out looking calmer. "My youngest son is possessed by a demon"

Crowley turned his eyes onto him and raised an eyebrow. "A demon?"

"This demon is corrupting and changing my son, he's my baby boy, and I need to save him. My other two children stopped the exorcism before it could be complete and it needs to be completed before he ruins himself"

Crowley eyed him and cleared his throat unsure what to think.

"I heard you nearly killed him"

"It's a lie, he was perfectly alright, he can survive…he's strong" Charles murmured and gripped the phone. "I can pay you, I can pay anything"

Crowley clucked his tongue and nodded once. "Okay, it'll take time and patience"

"Just get me out of here!" he hissed.

Crowley chuckled and hung up watching desperate eyes follow him as he walked out of the room and nodded at the guard.

Charles hung up and looked over to the next guard who led him out and back to his cell. Charles sat down staring at the white wall feeling his own insanity creep into his mind as he thought of getting out. He would save his son no matter what and if the consequences meant he had to die to save himself so be it. Charles would not rest until Castiel was exorcized of his "demon" and this time he would do it himself.

**A/N: Sorry for the long update, guys, I had a struggle with my mind. It wouldn't let me type. **

**It's like a mix of emotions in this one and yes, there is going to whump and angst in the upcoming chapters. Be prepared, but you know how to, we all watch Supernatural.**


	27. Chapter 27

Balthazar looked over to Castiel in surprise when he walked over that Monday morning.

"I have tried phoning you!" he said when Castiel opened his locker shoving his bag inside.

"I know, I'm sorry, Balthazar, but with my sister watching over me 24/7 I didn't want my phone calls overheard"

Balthazar eyed him suspiciously and leaned his shoulder onto a locker.

"Have you seen Dean?"

"Briefly at the hospital…we didn't leave it on the best of terms"

"What? Why?"

"We have a rather heated argument" Castiel said with a bitter turn to his mouth. "It gave me a serious wakeup call"

"What are you talking about?"

"That I have had a wakeup call about Dean and I've come to my senses" he said flashing him a winning smile.

Balthazar blinked several times to digest this little bit of information while Castiel turned to face him giving him a half-hearted shrug.

"So…you're over him?"

"In a way, yeah" he said tugging his arm and dragging him with him as they strolled down the hall. Balthazar was in complete disbelief edged on by suspicion; he gave him a sidelong glance noticing the shadowed happiness hidden beneath the surface.

"You're trying to tell me that you're over Dean? You smashed your head open because of him!"

"I did not! My nightmares were the cause of that, not Dean. Just call it a wakeup call" Castiel said with another shrug moving along to find Jo, Pamela, and Ash. Balthazar watched him leave and shook his head slowly in now complete disbelief. He didn't believe him for a second.

"Casanova!" Pamela shouted and wrapped her arms around him. Castiel smiled inhaling her fruity perfume and pulled back to see her grinning at him.

"I'm so glad you're okay! I freaked out when Jo told me and I tried to ring" she said with narrowed eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry" he said with shrugging his strap over his shoulder

Jo stood on the outside of the group looking tired and withdrawn, Castiel bit his lip and edged over peering into her eyes.

"Cas?"

"You look tired"

"Studying" she murmured softly jiggling her bag. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay now since the doctor gave me these sleeping pills and I have a new look on life"

"I'm sorry" she whispered looking up at him with pleading eyes. "I'm so sorry for grassing you up on…well you know and I feel so bad"

"Jo, it's okay" he said with sincerity in his eyes. Jo gaped looking up at him and pushed a curl behind her ear.

"Seriously?"

"Yes"

"Oh" she breathed and let out a puff of relief. "I hated being on bad terms with you"

"It's forgotten, I have a new look on life and that means…no teachers" he whispered in a low voice. Jo frowned confused glancing towards the history door and back up to Castiel.

"You're over him?"

Castiel hummed with a nod. "I've seen the error of my ways, I could never truly be with him and it was a dangerous…but exciting game but all games have an ending"

Jo eyed him curiously and nodded. "Sure"

"New chapter in my life now" Castiel said with an innocent smile. Jo chuckled and glanced up as the bell rang for first lesson.

"I'll see you at break?"

Castiel nodded watching the four of them walk into the history room and peered inside to see Dean at his desk. Dean could feel eyes on him and looked up to see Castiel looking in.

"Yes?" Dean said loudly.

"Nothing, sir"

"Go to lesson then, the bell has rang" Dean replied watching Castiel's eyes narrow as he turned on his heel and walked away. Balthazar looked between them in astonishment and swallowed hard wondering if Castiel was really telling the truth.

Castiel smirked feeling a sense of triumph when he sat down and realised with a shock that his first chemistry exam was on the Friday. Nerves and butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he realised he would have to seriously settle down and concentrate on his exam and not Dean. Castiel nibbled on his bottom lip worrying deep to his core that if he didn't pass this exam then he would never achieve his dream.

**~0~**

Another school day ended successfully with Castiel managing to convince both Jo and Balthazar he now despised Dean. Castiel was strangely proud of himself and after telling Anna he was off to see Balthazar instead of Dean it grew inside him.

Castiel opened the apartment door and strolled inside to see Dean lounging on the couch.

"Hey" Dean said with a small smile when he dumped his bag on the floor and walked over throwing his leg over his and sitting on waist and stomach.

"Hello" Castiel murmured moving down and kissing him gently on the lips. Dean smiled pulling away and shoving his hand up his t-shirt onto the warm skin. Castiel's breath hitched when he trailed his nails down the soft skin and ground his hips into Dean's who moaned throatily.

"So how did it go?" Dean enquired resting his hands on his stomach.

"I managed to convince Jo and Balthazar that I hate you" Castiel said in a smug voice running his hands down the purple shirt and tilting his head. "This isn't your color"

"Oh really?"

"Yes" Castiel said wrinkling his nose in distaste.

Dean sighed rolling his eyes and removed his hands to tuck them behind his head.

"You seem pleased you managed to convince your friends you hate the man you are supposed to love"

"It's all a part of our little game" Castiel murmured leaning down to lie down on his chest and smirked at him. "You know I love you"

"Prove it" Dean muttered sliding his hands down to grip his hips. Castiel cocked an eyebrow pressing his lips over Dean's and sliding his tongue into the warm and wet cavern of his mouth. Castiel tasted the faint taste of coffee and moaned wanting more, more of Dean. Dean gasped when him slim fingers slid down undoing his button and flies. Dean groaned low in the back of his throat when Castiel moved down to settle in between his thighs, Castiel smiled licking his tongue over the head. The taste of salty bitterness exploded onto his tongue and he swallowed back the taste before swallowing him down sucking across the velvety skin. Dean arched his back thrusting his hips into the hot mouth aching for more friction and warmth that Castiel obeyed deep throating him.

Castiel took him down to the hilt avoiding his gag reflex, he bobbed his head sucking harder and using his tongue to stroke down the underside. Dean let out a keening cry gripping the top of his hair as he climaxed exploding silky warmth down his throat. Castiel swallowed it greedily sucking till he soft and over sensitive. Dean blew upwards on his sweaty brow and looked down to see Castiel crawl up to him and kiss him. It was frantic, sloppy, and mixed with the taste of salvia and come.

Dean moaned feeling tired and pulled away closing his eyes when Castiel nuzzled the crook of his neck.

"I've missed you so much and I don't mean just today" he muttered lying down on his chest. Dean's arms circled around him and he pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"I know the feeling" he murmured knowing what it was like to wake up and turn over to see an empty side. The weekends lonelier and replaced by alcohol, wet dreams that made him ache and longing when he woke up.

Castiel sighed when a thought struck him and struggled out of his arms and straddled his waist.

"As much as I would love to cuddle, Dean, I need to revise for my chemistry final. It's on Friday" he said worrying at his bottom lip.

"You'll be fine, Cas, you'll pass it with flying colors"

"You don't know that!" Castiel said sitting up and crossing his arms. "I could fail and that is goodbye to my career!"

"Cas!" Dean said gripping his wrists and pulling him down to his chest. "You are going to pass this, believe in yourself"

Castiel frowned which made Dean smile and kiss his nose gently.

"You're adorable"

"Shut up" he muttered climbing off him and sitting down on the floor pulling his bag towards him. Dean turned on the TV flicking his eyes towards Castiel who opened his chemistry book to begin studying. Castiel stared at the words trying to digest the words feeling an inward panic that caused him to worry even more. The words swirled on the page and his head throbbed from a bad migraine and his head wound. Castiel slammed the book shut making Dean jump and stare as he shoved it away and crawled up and into his side.

"I don't feel good" he murmured nestling into his side. Dean's brow puckered in concern, he wrapped his arms around him pressing his lips to his temple.

"How's your head?"

"Sore, the words made no sense"

"How many hours sleep did you get?"

"Over nine hours"

Dean smiled weakly moving his head to look at him; Castiel looked up at him and grinned.

"I know, those sleeping pills work miracles"

"I'm glad you're sleeping and no longer having dreams of me dying"

Castiel swallowed averting his eyes and settling on his shoulder. "It still scares me; I'm worried he might come back"

"Your father?"

"Yes, he never leaves a job unfinished and I just…I have a bad feeling" Castiel murmured burying his face into the shirt smelling soapy freshness and cologne. Dean pressed his lips together resting his cheek on top of his hair.

"He won't hurt you, I promise"

"Really?" Castiel said moving his head to peer into his eyes. "You'll protect me?"

"Of course I will, Cas, but he's not coming back, not ever, and you're safe here with me and your family. He'll never hurt you again" Dean said tilting his chin up pressing warm lips against his. Castiel whimpered softly when he parted from him and held him close so tight it hurt to breathe.

Castiel chose to believe it; he chose to believe Dean would always protect him and always look after him.

"I believe you"

**~0~**

The week went on as they continued their facade of hating one another and enjoying secret liaisons in school cupboards, the apartment, and in the classroom after hours. It was Friday when Castiel entered the final exam and found it pleasant enough for an exam. He was positive enough that he had passed this one and they entered the second week of March.

"Ignoring nearly three weeks of separation, we've been together 5 months"

"You're sad for knowing that, Cas" Dean teased as he straddled him on the couch. "Three people have found out"

"Four" Castiel said biting his lip.

"What?"

"Anna knows"

Dean gaped at him shocked. "What!"

"She saw us! She read my messages and guessed…she's okay with it"

"How long have you known about this?"

"Since I fainted"

"Cas!" Dean said pulling back shocked.

"It wasn't intentional, Dean, I was just waiting for the right time and we weren't together properly…I didn't want us to end" Castiel admitted wrapping his arms around his neck. "I have something to tell you as well"

"More secrets?"

Castiel frowned at him leaning over and grabbing two brochures and holding them up.

"Medical school" Dean breathed looking at them.

"For Illinois and Wisconsin" Castiel said looking over them and up to Dean. "It means when I finish school in July, I'll be leaving soon after for a school not in Washington"

"Why not?"

"Gabriel wants me in the best and Washington is not one of them" Castiel murmured tossing the books away. "I…had a look at medical schools in California though"

"You did?" Dean said baffled and equally amused when Castiel flushed and nodded.

"It's amazing and I want to go" he murmured looking away from him. "I want you to come with me"

"Cas, I have family here"

"That doesn't mean you'll ever see them again! You can come with me, quit your job, find an evening job like you wanted and I'll be in medical school. Dean, we can have that dream you want" Castiel pleaded cupping the back of his neck.

Dean looked up at him and closed his eyes with a sigh. "I don't know"

"Dean, no matter what happens I am moving away from here and I…I could do a long distance with you"

"No, Cas, I wouldn't let you do that. Long distance relationships never work and you'll find someone else" Dean protested shaking his head.

"I wouldn't"

"You would, Cas, you know you wouldn't resist a sexy nerd who ticked every box" Dean said giving him a look. Castiel swallowed shaking his head and clenching his jaw.

"I would never do that to you" Castiel hissed and climbed out of his lap moving towards the bedroom and slamming the door. Dean covered his eyes letting out a low groan and jumped up opening the door to see a lump under the covers. He moved over sitting down on the covers and pulling it back to see Castiel curled in a ball now in a foul mood.

"Cas, baby, I'm not doubting you or us but you're eighteen and you have your whole life in front of you…"

"My life is now with you! I couldn't even survive three weeks without cracking my head open because my nightmares returned and I was miserable!" Castiel raged turning over to face him. Dean watched as he knelt up on the bed wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Do you want me to move away and be with someone else?"

"No"

"Let this stranger kiss me…hold me…fuck me all night" Castiel whispered peering at the green eyes which reflected uncertainty and pain.

"Should I fall in love with him, Dean, I mean he'll tick all the right…" he ranted and was caught off with a muffled "mph" as Dean kissed him roughly shoving him down on the covers.

"So I quit my job, pack all my things, and just move away with you to California?" Dean cried pinning him down on the bed roughly.

"Yes!"

Dean panted feeling breathless and closed his eyes tight. "That's a big step, Cas"

"Why are you so afraid to take it?"

"Because everything could go wrong, we haven't had the best of luck so far and I just…I could lose you and end up all alone in bloody California of all places"

Pain spread across Castiel's features and he shoved him up feeling anger seep into his veins.

"You don't trust me do you?"

"Of course I do…why would…" Dean said outraged and trailing off not able to find the rest of the words.

"You actually believe I would just run off with someone else or leave you after everything we've been through to be together, to stay together, and I am asking you to come with me when I go to medical school to be a real couple"

"How can we possibly be a real couple?"

"Through a few beautiful words called trust, love, companionship, and that will to fight for what we have"

Dean looked away towards his window not knowing what to say or feel. Castiel straightened up grabbing his chin and turning it towards him.

"I've figured it out…you were never going to accept us were you? I leave school, find a medical school, and you just let me go…you don't fight for me because you're scared what you're family and friends will think of you for secretly sleeping with a student"

"No, Cas no!" Dean protested when Castiel moved away from him. "I hadn't thought that far in the future! It's March and you are just beginning your finals, Cas, and I plan out my future by every day that goes by because tomorrow I could be hit by a fucking bus!"

Dean shoved off the bed and paced towards his window staring out.

"I don't want to lose to you a medical school…I don't want you to move away at all. I hate that we have to sneak around, I hate that you're fucking eighteen, I hate that I could go to prison because I fell in love with you…" Dean said through clenched teeth and slammed his palm against the window feeling it shake and quiver. "I don't want to lose you to some uptight, gorgeous, intelligent, medical student who is perfect for you"

Castiel moved forward slowly till he reached his back and wrapped his arms around his waist pressing his nose into his shoulder blades.

"I don't want that either" he murmured into his shirt.

"I also hate that we can never catch a break" Dean said with an amused snort. Castiel pressed his lips together removing his arms and circling him to look into his eyes.

"Then we take it a day at a time, we plan everything one day at a time" Castiel said lacing both their hands together. "Because I feel everything you do, I hate that I'm only eighteen and I have chosen this lifestyle but I don't want to lose you either. I made my decision the moment I realised I wanted you"

Dean breathed in the stifled air around him feeling a sweat cover his back and forehead, his stomach twisted and turned with sickness and fear that made his heart feel like it was on the verge of a collapse. Castiel leaned in pressing their foreheads together and watched as Dean closed his eyes breathing in their shared air. It was an imitate moment that Castiel wished could continue forever as stood together linked by hands and heart.

**~0~**

Charles was weighed down by dirty blankets, towels, and other items that smelled of urine and sick. He was being jostled around in a large container which made him feel sick and the urge to throw up was imminent.

The van stopped and Charles braced himself poking his head up to see he was in a dark van and gasped when the doors opened to reveal bright sunlight and Crowley.

"Home sweet home" Crowley said when Charles hopped out and climbed out staring up and down the busy road of a well packed street.

"Where are we?"

"Washington" Crowley said with a smile pulling out his phone.

"How did you…" Charles said looking back into the van.

"Better not knowing, sweetheart" Crowley said slamming the door shut and indicting his head. "Follow me"

Charles nodded following him into a Chinese and feeling confused and sick. Crowley led into the back room and up a flight of stairs.

"You live here" Crowley said opening the room to reveal a dark decaying room which held one small single bed covered in a damp white blanket, a kitchen that needed a serious medical clean, and a bathroom in the back.

"Belongs to owner, he owed me a favour" Crowley said when Charles stepped inside and nodded.

"It'll do"

Crowley coughed moving forward. "Money?"

Charles looked towards him and smiled coldly. "Of course"

Crowley watched as he went into his jacket and pulled out a colt gun pointing it at Crowley who narrowed his eyes watching him.

"Oh is this my reward? Shooting me dead after I got you out of prison? Cute" Crowley said edging towards the door.

"I lied…there is no money, I paid Ralph everything and he fucked it up!" Charles screamed cocking the gun and pointing at him. "You can send me back without a second thought…I have to do this"

Crowley eyed him and nodded like he finally understood. "You're going to kill your son"

Charles said nothing as he pointed the gun and didn't blink as he pulled the trigger. Crowley cried out dropping into the hallway with a loud thud. Charles gasped in pain clutching his hand before pocketing the gun and dashing forward where he lay on the floor; Charles patted his pockets and removed his wallet.

"He's my son, you do anything to save them" he whispered looking down at Crowley's closed eyes and moving away running down the stairs and out of the building. Charles looked up and down the street knowing he had to keep his head down if this was going to work. His plan was in motion.

**A/N: Things are in motion that cannot be undone…**

**Ha, quoting LOTR like a boss. **

**Enjoy, my beautiful readers, the end is near. **


	28. Chapter 28

Dean loved the sensation and waves of feelings that coursed through his body during sex. It was a like drug you could never, ever, get rid of and he wanted to do this all the time with one person in particular. Castiel captured his mouth kissing him fiercely fucking him slow and hard, Dean leaned his head back with a gasp when he struck his prostate. The room was stifling with the smell of come, sex, and sweat from two hours of non-stop sex. Dean arched his back when his orgasm flooded through him and exploded wetly onto Castiel's chest. Castiel followed through as he clutched at Dean's shoulders and climaxed shooting his load inside him.

Dean smiled at him pulling him down into a kiss stroking his hands into his damp hair and moaning when Castiel pulled out and rolled onto his side.

"I have an idea" Castiel murmured watching as Dean moved to his chest and licked the come settling on his chest. Dean hummed looking up to him and smirking when Castiel groaned at the sensation of his tongue on his chest. "We-we should stay in bed all day"

"All day? It's a Saturday!" Dean said with a mock gasp swallowing back his own juices and grimacing at the taste.

"You're going to turn a whole day now of fucking me till I'm sore and spent?"

"Never" Dean growled settling in between Castiel's thighs.

Castiel smiled weakly at him when he settled there and kissed along his jaw.

"You suit stubble" Dean murmured tearing his lips away to nuzzle his neck inhaling the smell of sex and cologne.

"What about a beard?"

"No"

"Moustache?"

Dean chuckled shaking his head at him. "No"

"Spoilsport"

"You're adorable" Dean murmured kissing over his throat and licking his tongue into the dips of his collarbone.

"I'm not a child, adorable is just like cute"

Dean pulled back with a frown. "Okay, you're incredibly sexy"

"That's better" Castiel murmured wrapping his legs around his waist. "You're beautiful"

"Am I a woman now?"

"No, you're just beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, and every word that makes you incredible" Castiel muttered and laughed when Dean flushed pink.

"Shut up" Dean growled kissing him and biting down on his bottom lip. Castiel groaned into his mouth gripping the back of his hair as their tongues slid together in a tangle that made Dean's cock twitch in interest.

Castiel drew away with an amused snort looking down to Dean's half hard cock pressing into his inner thigh.

"Looks like someone is up and ready" Castiel murmured and gasped when Dean lifted his hips up and pushed inside the prepped and slick hole. Castiel moaned at feeling so full and egged him on to move.

"You feel so good" Dean moaned gripping his hips in vicelike hands and thrusting hard into the tight writhing body. Castiel moaned in encouragement gripping the pillow underneath his bed rolling his hips up to meet him. Dean looked into his eyes before shutting them and kissing him gently, Castiel kissed back intertwining their tongues and slid his hands down his arms to grip his hands. Their bodies moved together perfectly and it made Dean feel smug and slightly proud that he knew every Castiel inside and out. He knew what he liked and didn't like, he knew the exact taste of his skin, the face he pulled when he was about to climax, the way he arched his back when it became too powerful. Dean loved him like that and it made sex even better.

Dean moaned pressing his face into the crook of his neck when the wave of his orgasm washed over him and he exhaled heavily. Castiel hummed in approval and smiled tilting his head to kiss him.

"Tell me you love me" he whispered.

Dean smirked looking up at him. "Tell _me _you love me"

"I love you" he murmured.

Dean smirked meeting up to kiss him and not responding with his own. Dean gripped his hair widening his mouth as he pushed his tongue deeper into his mouth swirling it around his tongue and stroking the roof. Castiel groaned wriggling underneath him and drawing his nails down his chest. Dean drew away with a half moan when Castiel whimpered at the loss.

"You've scratched me" he whispered pinning his wrists down when he chuckled and nodded.

"You know one of my weak spots is the roof my mouth" Castiel said with narrowed eyes.

"Naughty boy" he growled into his ear licking the shell.

"Punish me" Castiel murmured looking into his eyes.

Dean smirked devilishly moving away from him and grabbing his belt. Castiel watched with baited breath when he gripped his wrists pulling him up and slamming him down on the mattress front first. Castiel let out a shocked gasp when Dean draped his body over his back and wound the belt around his wrists so he couldn't move his hands.

"On your knees" Dean whispered into his ear and waited till he brought his knees up and knelt on the bed exposing his ass. "Good boy"

"Oh god" Castiel breathed looking down at the cover.

Dean pulled back and sucked in a breath at the view of him spread out in front of him, bound and vulnerable.

"You're gorgeous, Cas" he murmured before moving forward and smoothing his hand over his ass cheek. "These won't heal for days"

Dean looked down at the scratches on his chest and down at Castiel who was moaning softly and let out a cry when Dean slapped him hard on the ass.

"Dean" Castiel moaned into the cushion when he slapped the other cheek harder making him cry out and jut forward. Castiel strained against the belt breathed hard when Dean brushed his lips over the red marks and bit into the soft flesh. Castiel gasped in pain and pleasure of the bite over the tender flesh.

"You're a naughty, naughty, boy, Cas" he purred gripping the top of his hair and kissing under his ear. "Say it"

"I'm a naughty boy" he moaned feeling his cock harden painfully to his and Dean's words. Dean smirked kissing down behind his ear to the length of his neck and biting down into sensitive skin. He sucked hard leaving a red and purple mark that caused Castiel to groan and pant breathlessly when Dean kissed a trail down his spine.

"Stay on your knees" Dean ordered when he bucked nearly falling down. Castiel cried out when he reached his lower back and his tongue swept into the crease of his ass.

"Dean!" he whined thrusting his hips back and ass towards him. Dean smiled feeling smug and powerful as he trailed his nails down his ass softly watching him keen and near enough sob into the pillow. Dean licked his bottom lip parting his cheeks and pressing his lips over the quivering hole; he tasted sweat and his own come coating the small puckered hole and licked over it gently.

"Holy shit" Castiel cried slamming his bound wrists against the headboard and spread his legs wider. "Yes, more, I want more, Dean"

Edging his tongue, Dean noses the hole and working around the rim teasing him with thrusts inside him. Castiel whimpers pressing his eyes into the crease of his arm. Dean places his hands on the cheeks so his thumbs slide easily into the space in between so he can his face and tongue further inside him. Castiel gasps in relief when the tongue penetrates him and rolls his hips backwards fucking his tongue and face. Dean's lips seal over the hole thrusting his tongue inside him shallowly.

Castiel's breathing is loud and filled with short needy moans that make Dean smile and press a kiss over the hole before removing his mouth and sliding a finger inside him.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god" Castiel chanted feeling tears prickle his eyes and the edges of the belt dig into his wrists. Dean shushed him as he slid his hands in between his sweaty thighs and cupped his balls tight.

"I need…Dean, please…" Castiel begged rocking backwards when Dean's tongue slid back inside him fucking him harder with each thrust of his tongue. Castiel's vision blurred as his orgasm ripped through his body and he climaxed with a loud shout splattering onto the covers. Dean removed his tongue just in time when Castiel clamped up and dropped down on the covers. Dean smiled reaching over and untying the belt and throwing it to the floor.

"Oh my god" Castiel breathed when he kissed under his ear. "That was…amazing, I thought I'd be terrified of being tied up again like that but…oh you need to punish me again"

Dean laughed breathlessly swallowing down Castiel's taste and rolling him onto his front. Castiel's face was flushed pink, his black hair sticking up with sweat, and his eyes wide and blown with desire.

"Be a naughty boy again and I'll punish you again" Dean murmured with a hint of a promise on his voice. Castiel smiled closing his eyes when Dean rolled onto the pillow and tucked him under his chin.

"Tired?"

"Exhausted" Castiel murmured.

Dean laughed lightly holding him close as Castiel drifted off to sleep and prayed he would never, ever, lose this.

**~0~**

"Okay are you going to tell me why you have been so happy?" Balthazar said as they sat down for a coffee.

"I'm not" Castiel said with a frown pouring sugar into it and stirring. "Just enjoying life"

"You're lying, Cassy, I know you well enough now"

"Oh really?"

"Yes, now tell me" Balthazar said handing him a cookie. Castiel took it with a surprised smile and shrugged.

"I have no idea"

"It's Dean isn't it?"

"No"

"Liar!"

Castiel scowled biting into the soft doughy cookie and shook his head. "I'm just happy, Balthazar, am I not allowed to be?"

"Not without a solid reason"

Castiel groaned annoyed and sipped his coffee. "My exams are all underway, I am doing well, and I am looking for medical schools"

Balthazar eyed him curiously and shrugged. "Fine, I haven't seen you that often though"

"Are we dating and I haven't been informed?" Castiel murmured amused.

"Shut up"

Castiel looked at the time and rolled his eyes.

"I better go; Gabriel and Anna want to see me"

"About what?"

Castiel shrugged collecting his things together. "I'll see you later"

Balthazar nodded with a smile watching him walk away and out of the little café. He bit his lip with a sigh and looked down at the coffee feeling on edge. Castiel wrapped his jacket around himself and pulled out his phone dialling Dean's number.

"I'm still sore from yesterday" Castiel said when he answered.

Dean chuckled spooning curry into his mouth. "Good, I hope you have bruises"

"Several on my hips and ass cheeks, you're a bad man"

"You're a bad boy"

"We make a good pair"

Castiel smiled and heard a screech of a car behind him, he turned to see a black car with tinted black windows speed around the corner and screech to a halt. Castiel stared at the car confused and came back when he heard Dean's voice in his ear.

"Cas!"

"Sorry, I-I was distracted"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine" Castiel said turning back around and walking on. "Just a car"

"What car?"

Castiel turned to look back at it and was surprised to see no one had got out.

"Black, it's a normal car…it just scared me"

"Well come round here"

"I can't, Gabriel and Anna want to see me"

"Well come round after" Dean said rolling his eyes as he sipped a beer.

"I'll think about it" he teased walking down the road slowly.

The car door opened slowly unaware to Castiel who was talking into his phone. Charles looked around the deserted street before darting forward and clamping a handkerchief over his mouth. Castiel gasped and struggled when Charles took the phone away and hanged up pocketing the phone.

"Hello" Charles whispered when Castiel stared at him in horror. "It's good to see you…now sleep"

Castiel struggled and could feel a wave of blackness surround him as he closed his eyes and slumped unconscious in his father's arms.

"Cas!" Dean shouted who heard the struggle and looked at his dead phone. "No, no, no…"

Dean dialled his number and heard it ring and ring till it reached voicemail. Dread, panic, and a frightening fear ignited in Dean who jumped up running out of the flat and to Ellen's pub. Dean had no idea where Castiel lived because he had never asked or been there. Ellen and Jo looked up startled when he came through the doors.

"Where does Cas live?"

"What? I…" Jo said when he came forward slamming his palms on the bar. "He could be in serious danger, Jo; I need you to tell me"

"Danger? Dean, what's going on?" Ellen said alarmed.

"Castiel's father tried to kill him last year and I was just on the phone to him then when a scuffle and he won't answer his phone"

"You were talking to him? You're back together!" Jo said shocked.

"That is not the case right now! Jo, tell me where he lives!"

"34 Derby Road" Jo said startled looking over to Ellen.

"His father tried to kill him?"

Dean nodded once. "Claimed Castiel had a demon inside him because he's gay, he has a demon warding symbol carved into his chest"

Jo covered her mouth in horror when he looked at the both of them and ran out down the road heading towards his house. Anna opened the door alarmed when Dean hammered his fist on it.

"Dean?"

"I think Castiel may be in trouble"

Anna's face paled and she looked towards the kitchen. "Gabriel!"

Gabriel rushed out alarmed. "What?"

"He's got Cas!"

Gabriel paled also looking to Anna who freaked out looking to Dean. "We received a call about an hour ago from Colorado to tell us that our father has broken out, we called Castiel but got his voice mail and we told him to come back!"

Gabriel moved forward gripping her arm. "How do you know?

"I was speaking to him on the phone when it happened; I heard a scuffle and the call ended. Cas told me a car stopped outside but it was normal…I'm thinking it was your father"

Gabriel tilted his head at Dean and looked to Anna questioningly.

"The mysterious guy" she said when his mouth dropped open.

"You! You…"

"I'll explain everything to you but right now your little brother is about to get exorcized all over again!"

Gabriel swallowed and nodded. "Fine, wait, he told you?"

Dean nodded once. "Where would he go and take him?"

Dean stepped inside the house when Anna invited him and shut the door.

"A warehouse maybe?" Anna said twirling her hands together. "Like last time"

Gabriel frowned turning back around and nodded. "If you wanted somewhere private, where no one could see or hear you scream then you would choose somewhere distant, abandoned, and there's a warehouse half an hour away"

Dean looked over to Anna who nodded. "Then let's go"

**~0~**

Castiel woke up smelling damp and old storage boxes. He blinked and opened his eyes to see he was placed against old damp boxes in a large warehouse. Castiel groaned peering around and sucking in a breath when a familiar person came into view.

"Hello, Castiel"

"You're supposed to be in prison" Castiel murmured struggling up and leaning against the boxes.

"I had help from an old friend but my time grows short…no doubt the police have informed your brother and sister" Charles said stepping forward and pointing the gun at him. "No moving, you move and I'll shoot your foot"

Castiel nodded looking around the warehouse. "An old storage unit?"

"Useful" Charles said looking over him. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I'm not possessed" Castiel spat at him when Charles stepped forward looking him up and down and striking him. Castiel gasped feeling blood explode in his mouth that he spat out and looked towards him.

"I don't believe a demon"

"I'm gay, not possessed, the good little boy you once raised is still here but I can't help who I want! I like men" Castiel cried and grunted in pain when Charles struck him once again throwing him to the ground.

"I'm your son!" Castiel shouted tears crawling out of the corner of his eyes.

"My son, my baby boy, would never consort in these type of actions. You're possessed son and I will expel you, if he dies…so be it" Charles said crouching down and gripping his arm dragging him up. Castiel cried out when he dragged him down the length and threw him down in front of a basin filled with water.

Castiel eyed it looking up to Charles who looked down at the water dropping a rosary inside the water blessing it. Charles started reading from the bible while Castiel looked for an escape route; he edged away slowly keeping his eyes on Charles until he caught sight of him and pointed the gun at him.

"Get here" he hissed. Castiel whimpered and moved back to the spot on the floor and knew he was about to be drowned by his own father.

"I'm not possessed, I'm not, and I would know if I was! I would tell you, father, you know I would and I am so, so sorry for…liking men but I can't help it and a demon would not do this to me" Castiel pleaded and gasped when he dragged him up and peered into his eyes.

"I think differently" he said with a sad smile stroking a hand down his cheek. "I'm sorry, Castiel"

"Please" he sobbed looking over to the water and shook his head. Charles didn't hesitate or blink as he shoved Castiel down into the water.

Gabriel turned the corner hard feeling anger and a cold feeling of desperate fear spread in his heart.

"What if he isn't here!" Anna said looking over to Gabriel. Dean in the back seat chewed on his nail agitated until Gabriel swerved and drove across the field towards the abandoned warehouse.

"He better be" Gabriel snarled slamming his foot down as he reached the warehouse and stopped. Dean jumped out sprinting toward the door and pulled on it hard to see it opened. Dean exhaled and peered inside.

"Cas!" he shouted stepping inside. In the distance a splash echoed around and he looked back to see Gabriel and Anna behind him. Dean nodded running towards the sound to see a figure he didn't recognise and Castiel on the floor heaving for breath soaking wet.

"Who are you?"

Castiel looked over to him and swallowed in relief when he saw Gabriel and Anna round the corner.

"Dad" Gabriel said staring at him in shock and at Castiel on the floor.

"It didn't work…he's too far gone" Charles said looking down at Castiel who was shaking. "He's…dead"

"No, dad, he isn't because he isn't possessed" Gabriel said and stopped when the gun was pulled on him. Dean edged towards Castiel who looked at him and mouthed. "Are you okay?"

Castiel nodded reaching out his hand for him.

"Oh I don't think so" Charles said pointing the gun at Dean.

"No!" Castiel shouted making everyone jump at the sound. "Don't hurt him"

Charles walked over to Castiel who flinched and gasped when he dragged him up and pointed at the gun in turn.

"I'm completing this"

"He's not possessed!" Anna shouted at him. "Stop this before someone is seriously hurt"

Dean pulled out his phone attempting to call 911 when Charles coughed loudly. "You call the police and I'll kill him"

Dean watched as the gun was pointed at his temple.

"He's your son"

"He has a dormant demon inside him"

Gabriel scoffed covering his eyes and gestured at him. "Are you fucking insane!"

"YES!" Charles roared making Castiel jump and gasp when the gun was pressed further into his temple. "When you are sat in a prison cell staring at a white wall for weeks and months on end with nothing but your thoughts…it sends you over the edge"

"Let him go" Anna pleaded opening her hands up. "He's still your son, he's our brother…just let him go"

Charles cast emotionless eyes over the three of them and looked back to Castiel who he shoved to the side away from them all. Dean looked over to Castiel.

"Who's he?" Charles said pointing to Dean.

"Dean"

"He looks around Gabriel's age"

"He is" Castiel admitted. "It doesn't matter"

"Is he just another Luke?"

"No, no he isn't" Castiel said shaking his head. "He's more than he ever was"

Charles cocked his head so like Castiel and turned to look at Dean. "Corrupting my son even more are you?"

"No"

"Devil"

Castiel could feel his dream creep into his mind and shook his head. "No, he's not!"

"Did you know?" Charles said pointing the gun at Gabriel who shook his head.

"I found out today"

"I found out over a week ago" Anna said throwing her chin out in defiance. Gabriel looked over to her startled but shook it off when Charles exhaled shakily.

"Lies…deceit…dishonour…this family is in ruins!" Charles shouted cocking the gun a second time and pointing it at the four of them. "I better sort it out"

**~0~**

Crowley winced a little at the bullet wound now sewn up and mended. The bullet struck his shoulder knocking him out when he hit the floor, Charles didn't check if he was truly dead and now Crowley wanted him gone. "Found him"

He handed the information over to the police who nodded and called out for all his best men to get to Docking Warehouse.

Crowley smiled smugly and pocketed his trusted phone. If Crowley wanted someone, he would always find them.

"Murder? Really?" Gabriel said when they spread out eyeing the gun. Charles's hand was shaking and he looked on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"I just…I wanted to make this better"

"By killing him? Imagine what mom would say…"

"Don't you dare mention her!" Charles shouted with tears flooding his eyes. "She would not want this either"

"You've already tried to exorcize him once and now you want to kill him"

"He's my son"

"So am I"

Charles exhaled looking over to Castiel who shivering and shaking looking at him. Charles grimaced in sympathy walking over to him. Dean braced himself when Charles shoved him back till he hit the wall and turned towards the other three.

"Back up! Come on, back away" he shouted shaking the gun so Dean, Anna, and Gabriel backed away from Castiel who moved off the wall watching. Gabriel saw his chance when he looked away back to Castiel and went for the gun. Charles grunted in surprise and the struggle went on, Dean reached for Anna who screamed and watched the gun with close eyes. Charles grunted throwing Gabriel to the floor who landed with a huff.

Outside the warehouse, the police had just arrived.

"I have to do this!" Charles shouted down at him. "You have to understand"

Castiel could see his dream coming true, he could see himself watching Dean die in front of him and he heard Chuck's words in his head but he didn't care.

"Dean!" Castiel cried running towards him and it felt like slow motion as Gabriel kicked Charles's leg and he spun around. Without warning the firearm went off as Charles pulled it and the bullet flew towards its target.

Castiel stopped with wide eyes looking at his t-shirt to see a dark stain spread across his stomach. His senses and hearing seemed to dim he watched as Gabriel tackled Charles to the floor, the police appeared out of nowhere pulling Gabriel off him, and Dean ran towards him catching him when he fell. Anna screamed running over and dropping to her knees when Dean cradled him in his arms.

"Oh shit!" Dean cried looking down to the blood and up to Anna. "Anna, I need…I need something to stem the blood flow"

Anna ripped off her cardigan and tossed it to him as he pressed it over the wound.

"We need an ambulance!" Anna shouted over to a policeman who ran over and nodded talking into his radio.

Dean looked down at Castiel who stared back up at him clutching at the cardigan over his bullet wound.

"You're going to be alright" Dean whispered with tears coating his eyes when he held him close stroking a hand into his hair. "Keep looking at me, don't you dare close those eyes, Cas, keep those blue eyes on me"

Castiel exhaled feeling the pain now and whimpered clutching Dean's hand.

"I don't want to die"

"You're not going to, baby, you're going to be fine" he murmured pressing his lips to his forehead looking over to Anna who crawled over and grabbed Castiel's other hand.

In the back, police were still attempting to control a hysterical Gabriel from beating the crap out of Charles who was being dragged outside.

"I did my job" he whispered as he was shoved in the police car.

"I'm sorry, Dean" he whispered.

"Don't you dare say sorry" Dean whispered back cupping the side of his face. "You did what you thought was right, I didn't see it happening, I thought Gabriel had got the gun".

Anna looked up to Dean with tears running down her red cheeks.

"It'll be here soon" she whispered.

Dean nodded looking down at Castiel and the wound. Blood had soaked the cream cardigan and he swallowed feeling tears prickle off his eyes and he looked finally down to Castiel.

His face was paler then before, blood coated his cheek and his eyes were wide as he stared up at Dean.

"You're going to be fine" Dean repeated pressing his hand against his neck feeling his erratic heartbeat. Gabriel walked over slowly and crouched down next to Anna. Dean paid them no attention as he looked down at Castiel who was fighting both his pain and despair. Dean squeezed his eyes shut feeling tears run down them and knew he was probably scaring him.

"I broke my promise" Dean murmured.

"What promise?"

"I promised you I would always protect you and look after you and look what's happened…I broke it"

"It wasn't your fault" Castiel croaked shaking his head.

"I told you I planned my future out every day at a time but I was wrong, I was so wrong, because you need to plan for the future otherwise what do you have? I want my future with you" Dean murmured brushing away a tear that came out of Castiel's eyes. "I want that little dream I came up with, our little forbidden fairy-tale, and I want it with you"

Gabriel looked at them both and Anna who was shaking. "Why does this feel like goodbye?"

"Don't say that" Anna whispered and turned when she heard the ambulance. "Go, Gabriel!"

Gabriel looked over to them one last time before darting up and sprinting towards the door to get them.

"I love you, I love you so fucking much it scares me, and you can't give up on me. You can't leave me, Cas" Dean said when Castiel exhaled wetly.

"I love you" Castiel murmured in reply. "I'm so sorry"

"Don't you dare start saying goodbye, don't you dare" Dean hissed pressing his forehead against his. Tears ran down Dean's cheeks unwillingly when he closed his eyes, Castiel took his hand away from the cardigan touching Dean's cheek. Dean opened his eyes to look into his and he simply stared into the blue eyes so full of pain and fear. It felt like a lifetime before they heard voices and Dean looked away for just a moment. Dean looked down to see Castiel's eyes closed and sucked in a shocked breath.

"Castiel?" Anna said moving forward and tilting his face towards her. "Castiel!"

"Baby, look at me" Dean said tapping his cheek. "Cas! Don't do this to me, open your eyes"

Ambulance men came over ordering him to move and he was dragged away from him by a policeman. Anna shouted hysterically at them to wake him up as she was placed with Dean.

"Is he dead?" Anna said to what felt like no one in particular before Gabriel pulled her into her a hug.

"He'll be fine, it's Cas" Gabriel said with wide hazel eyes.

Dean gave them a sidelong glance feeling numb and slightly in shock when he watched a woman on the team shout something.

"He's not breathing!"

Dean looked up to the ceiling feeling winded as he watched a man move forward and pressing over his heart to restart it.

"We need to get him to the ambulance now!"

If someone had told Dean his whole world would come crashing down beneath his feet and his emotions would be on the verge of a mental breakdown in a few months' time, he would have laughed. Reality is so much different when it finally hits and there was and never would be anyone else like him and if he was dead, Dean didn't know if he could cope. The worst thing for Dean was that he couldn't protect him when he made Castiel believe he would and it destroyed Dean more than he could ever tell.

The only thing Dean wished for more than Castiel to live was not to feel a damn thing.

**A/N: Oh I cried writing this. I always do… **

**11 pages long and 5,013 words later I have what I wanted. This took me hours, seriously. **

**I hope you like it and if I make anyone cry then I do apologise. I'll give you cookies. **

**So, review please! I am nearly at 300 reviews and want to cry because I didn't believe I would ever get that.**


	29. Chapter 29

In one summary, it was a blur. Dean had no idea what was going on as he sat in the little hospital room staring down at the figure in the bed. Dean's eyes drifted around across the pale white walls towards the window seeing sunrise on the horizon. His emotions were haywire and it had been a very long night.

Dean flicked his eyes up when a young doctor came in giving him a nod and a small smile.

"Are you sure you don't want one of the nurses to get you a coffee?"

"No"

The doctor nodded looking over the bleeping machine and down to bed. Dean looked over to Castiel strapped to every wire, machine, and oxygen tank that was keeping him alive. He didn't know how he was going to tell him that he had died three times and Dean had to watch every time.

"He's very lucky to be alive" he murmured.

Dean shot a glare at him. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because it's true? The bullet missed every vital organ, vein, artery, and he's alive" the doctor replied.

"What's your name?"

"Adam"

"Well, Adam, the guy that I love died in my arms, then he was brought back, and then he died all over again and again and again" Dean said staring up at him with watery eyes. "Three times and you're telling me he's lucky to be alive? Cas is strapped to every machine to keep him alive…I don't think he's out of the woods just yet!"

Dean shouted the last word causing Adam to step back a little alarmed. Dean swallowed looking over to Castiel with a breathing tube stuck down his throat and his eyes shut as he remained there in his comatose state.

"I'm sorry…it's been three days and I've had about two hours sleep"

Adam frowned in concern pocketing his pen and moving back towards him. "Then I would advise you sleep, sir, Castiel won't wake for some time"

Dean looked over to Castiel and shook his head. "His brother and sister are sleeping right now and I promised them I wouldn't leave him"

Adam frowns and notices the chair he is sitting on isn't all that comfortable.

"I could be in a lot of trouble for saying this but…" he said gesturing over to the empty bed. "You are welcome to use it"

Dean looked over to the bed and had to agree that he had thought about it once or twice.

"But if we need it, you'll have to move"

"Thanks, man" he said nodding at Adam who gave him a small smile and glanced over to Castiel a final time. Dean sighed standing up and pressing his lips over his forehead.

"I'm gonna nap, I feel like death, so don't wake up just yet…I love you" he murmured stroking a thumb down his cheek and moving away to sit on the bed and rolled onto his side. Sleep welcomed him with open arms as he closed his eyes and drifted off. His dreams were full of blood, anger, and despair. Dean watched as Charles shot Castiel over and over again, the look of shock and horror on Castiel's face would never fade from his memory. Dean is stuck in his dream and can only watch in horror as Castiel slides to the floor dead. Blood seeps out of the wound while Dean watches Charles howl with laughter, he exhales shakily filled with an overwhelming hatred till the gun is turned on him and he's shot.

Dean woke with a gasp staring up at Anna who's smiling down at him.

"Hey?" he murmured in a croaky voice sitting up to see Gabriel in his place.

"We let you sleep" Anna said stepping back.

"How long have I been out?" he murmured looking at his watch and gaping in surprise. "Nearly five hours"

"You needed it" Gabriel muttered gruffly from near the bed. Dean looked up at it and nodded in agreement.

Since the accident three days ago, Gabriel had hardly spoken to Dean; Dean had hardly spoken to Gabriel. He knew the conversation on how the hell he is Castiel's mysterious guy was upcoming but he suspected Anna had given him the lowdown. It surprised Dean that he hadn't been punched and thrown out of the hospital and was just grateful he was able to be here with Castiel.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed staring over at an immobile Castiel and felt sick to his core. He had told the truth when he said Castiel had died three times, once in his arms, and twice in the ambulance, the moment he was taken to hospital he was rushed into theatre to remove the bullet. Since then, Castiel had remained in a coma with no sign of waking up.

It was a Wednesday now and Dean had not returned to work, they rang him on the Monday afternoon to ask him why he was wasn't in work and Dean simply replied. "I quit"

Martin had ringed and ringed him but he had no time to discuss it with him, Dean had quit his job and that was that.

"Toilet" he murmured moving out of the room and down the corridor to check his phone and saw another missed call from Sam. Sam had been frantic trying to get information out of Dean who was unwilling to give. How could he tell his own brother he had quit his job and he was now at the side of the guy he loved who was also an eighteen year old student?

Dean splashed cold water in his face and looked up at the mirror to see tired green eyes reflecting pain and sadness deep within, bags shadowing those eyes, and hint of a beard he frowned at. Dean looked like a mess and it didn't when his constant worry was Castiel. Dean needed and wanted him to wake up, he needed to see those blue eyes awake and staring into his and then he could feel a sense of calm and even peace.

Anna looked up when Dean returned sipping from a carton of juice. "Little old lady insisted"

Anna gave him a weak smile looking over to Gabriel who cleared his throat looking towards Dean.

"Our dad is dead" he murmured. Dean blinked looking towards Anna who bit her soft bottom lip looking down at her lap.

"What?"

"Hung himself in his cell with a piece of wire he bought from a cellmate, they couldn't save him… I'm glad"

"Gabriel" Anna hissed looking over to him.

Gabriel returned the glare and pointed a finger at Castiel. "Our daddy shot our little brother and you're judging me for saying I'm glad? I'm over the fucking moon the bastard's dead"

"He was still our father" she whispered.

Gabriel snorted bitterly and shook his head. "I have no father"

Anna blinked feeling tears fill her eyes as she looked down and let them fall. Dean felt uncomfortable and nervous as he looked at Castiel's sleeping face. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and pressed warm lips over his knuckles and closed his eyes resting there. Gabriel watched him closely and coughed for his attention.

"You have got to be around my age, you're his teacher, and you're sleeping with my little brother aren't you?" Gabriel said suddenly. Dean opened his eyes looking over to him and nodded once.

"Look, I know you have plenty to say and I'm not gonna call you wrong but I care about him a lot, more than I ever imagined, and I never wanted this to happen. I didn't want us to happen but it did. It happened on October 31st and I don't regret a thing, the only thing I regret is not quitting my job sooner and being older than he is"

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at him and frowned glancing over to Castiel.

"You made him happy"

"I guess"

"No, you did…Castiel really closed up after what dad did to him, he was like an empty shell and then all of the sudden a mysterious guy comes along and he's like a ball of energy" Gabriel murmured staring at Castiel. "He wouldn't come home and when he did he was practically fucking glowing with happiness and then it stopped. I guess that's when you ended it and he became like his former self"

Anna looked up at Dean with a nod.

"You changed him for the better"

"I'm not going to say the age thing isn't a little weird, I mean you're my age and it's a little creepy but…Castiel was never the one to stick to the rules. I saw how you were with him in the warehouse and I can't deny, we can't deny, that you care about him a lot and him too"

Dean nodded slowly hearing the beeping over his head and starting to feel a little insane himself.

"So I'm going to say this, you hurt him in any way possible, I will make sure you will never walk again, never speak and only eat through one of those bendy straws" Gabriel warned flashing his eyes over to him. Anna smirked a little amused and Dean nodded once again.

"I know"

"So, you wake up" Gabriel muttered poking Castiel's cheek. "Come on, little bro, we've had the weekend from hell and now the week"

Castiel stayed motionless simply breathing in and out.

"We could try smelling oils"

"That wouldn't work, Gabe, leave him alone. He'll wake up when he's good and ready"

Anna looked down at her watch and bit her lip again. "We have work"

"Shit! Okay, you call us if anything happens!" Gabriel said pointing his finger at Dean.

"Sure thing" he murmured when they walked out of the room to go to their jobs.

Dean sighed deeply bending over and kissing the corner of Castiel's mouth.

"Please wake up soon, you're driving me insane" he murmured resting there for a moment before kicking back and grabbing a magazine to cure the boredom.

"Story here about a woman whose husband is sleeping with her sister, her mom, and her daughters best friend…kinky sonofabitch" Dean muttered flipping it open to read it and realising it was now nearly lunchtime. His stomach growled for attention and he huffed throwing the magazine down.

"Okay, calm down" he murmured and stopped realising he was talking to himself. Dean glanced at Castiel who was still the same and turned to go out of the room when a choking sound startled him.

"Cas?"

**~0~**

Castiel felt like he was swamped in dark, damp, cold, mud and there was no escape. Pain and aches ran across his body and his stomach was on fire. His mind was whirring with images he didn't understand as he saw blood, pained expressions, Dean, and a never ending black hole. Castiel cried out helplessly trapped in his own mind when he heard a soft familiar voice in his ear.

"_Please wake up soon, you're driving me insane"_

Dean. Castiel's heart pounded hard in his chest and he tried to open his eyes but was met with resistance, he was terrified and tried to swallow but was stopped by something lodged in his throat.

"Cas!" he heard and moaned tossing his head. Warm hands and a reassuring voice followed and the object was removed allowing him to suck in a breath.

"Castiel? Can you hear me? I want you to open your eyes" a soft voice said and he opened them seeing nothing but colours and blurs till it focused and a man with soft blonde hair came into view.

"Can you see me?"

Castiel blinked confused and nodded looking around the hospital room till he caught sight of someone very familiar.

"Dean"

Dean moved forward not thinking or questioning and cupped his cheeks softly kissing him fiercely. Castiel responded immediately as he opened his mouth stroking his tongue against his gently and letting out a breath when Dean parted from him.

Pressing his forehead against his, Dean breathed out in relief.

"Hey, baby" he murmured when Castiel moaned kissing his top lip. Adam coughed feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh yeah" he murmured pulling back so Adam could look over him.

"How are you feeling, Castiel?"

"Sore" he croaked and winced at the scratchy feeling in the back of his throat. "Water"

Dean grabbed the water next to him and tilted his head up so he could take a drink.

"Better?" he whispered and smiled when he nodded.

"I was shot, he shot me" Castiel whispered looking over to Dean who nodded gritting his jaw tight.

"Yes, you suffered a horrific injury but we managed to bring you back, operate in time to remove the bullet and restore lost blood" Adam said looking down at chart. "How's the pain?"

"It hurts" Castiel murmured.

Adam nodded giving him more pain medication and waited till a more relaxed expression ghosted his face.

"You're lucky to be alive, it was a bad shot and missed every vital organ" Adam said before taking his leave. Dean looked over to Castiel who blinked and moaned.

"I died didn't I?"

Dean nodded again and sat down on the bed moving his head to kiss his forehead, over his closed eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and finally his mouth.

"You died in my arms, I looked away for one moment and you were gone" Dean muttered feeling tears coat his throat and eyes. "They brought you back but you died again in the ambulance two times…I thought you were goner, Cas, you lost so much blood and who survives getting shot these days?"

"Me" Castiel murmured touching his cheek with his fingertips.

"Yes, you" he whispered pressing his lips over his kissing him slowly. Dean couldn't help it and the thought of losing him had sent him into a frenzy. Castiel responded gripping the back of his hair scraping his nails into his scalp and tasting old coffee and mint.

"I better call Gabriel and Anna" Dean murmured against the skin of his jaw.

"Dean, what happened to my father?"

Dean swallowed straightening up and lacing their hands together. "After he accidently shot you, Charles was arrested and taken back to Colorado waiting his trial. Gabriel told me just before that Charles hung himself in his cell"

Castiel sucked in a shocked breath. "He's dead?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Cas" Dean murmured pressing his lips over his knuckles.

Castiel blinked looking away and nodded. "It's fine, my father was dead to me already and now it's official"

Dean licked his bottom lip knowing how he was feeling and held his hand tight.

"I love you" Castiel said suddenly making him smile and lean over to him nuzzling his cheek.

"I love you too, baby, and now I'm going to call your brother and sister"

"They both now don't they?"

"Yes, Gabriel threated to kill me if I ever hurt you"

Castiel snorted amused and shifted with a moan of pain. "He's very protective"

"Cas?"

"Yes?"

"I quit my job" he murmured looking down into his lap and over to Castiel who blinked at him confused.

"Why?"

"Because I want to be with you and I can't because of my job, I meant what I said when I told you I want our little fairy-tale"

Castiel smiled weakly and nodded. "I understand"

Dean winked at him and dialled Anna's number who answered after two rings.

"He's awake"

"Yes!" Anna shouted so loud that Dean held the phone away. Castiel pressed his lips into a line amused looking down at the covers tightly around him. Thanks to the medication the pain was subsiding and he felt a little better. The knowledge that his father was now dead had shocked him deeply but there was no sadness, no remorse, and he couldn't a person who had nearly killed him twice. How could you be sad about someone as evil as that? It didn't matter to Castiel that the bullet that was shot at him wasn't deliberate, he had died and was brought back to life but he shouldn't have died in the first place.

Castiel's eyes strayed to Dean who was now on the phone to Gabriel. He loved this man more than anything in the world, he didn't know if he could love him anymore than he already did but he was proven wrong. Every day he fell a little bit more in love with him and couldn't imagine his life now without him. It still baffled Castiel that they had got this far and he still remembered the first moment he saw Dean and never imagined this would happen. Dean ended the call spinning on his heel to face him and sat back down on the bed.

"They're both trying to get out of work early to come see you" Dean murmured when Castiel tugged him down so Dean curled around him. "I don't know if this is allowed, I could hurt you"

"You won't and I want you here" Castiel replied pressing his forehead against his. "Have you been here all this time?"

"I would never leave your side, the nurses were pissed at me" he muttered and chuckled when Castiel rolled his eyes.

"You've quit your job, Dean, that's a big step"

"I know, I had no income anymore and I'll probably lose my apartment but…I don't care" Dean said with a shrug. "I could have the best job in the world and a shit load of money but I wouldn't have you and that wouldn't be enough for me"

"Why?"

Dean trailed his hand up to curl his fingers into his hair.

"People set out to get jobs and careers from as early as sixteen years old; they need that to get money so they'll have a nice long future. Whilst doing that they forget the most important parts, family and love. I have my family, I have my career, and I have my money but for a long time I had no one, I was alone and then I met you" Dean said and realised he was slowly talking his way into a classic chic flick. "You were just a normal student, gorgeous, intelligent, and a keen eye that meant if you want something, you got it. You fascinated me, Cas, in ways I couldn't imagine and I hated you a little"

"Oh" Castiel breathed shocked and amused and Dean kissed him gently.

"It changed when I realised how much I actually did like you, I liked you a lot more than I should. I shouldn't have taken such an interest in you and that drove me to invite you to private lessons. When you kissed me, you unlocked the door I had permanently sealed away when I was sixteen. I hated you again, you were in my thoughts, my dreams, and I longed to know what it would be like to kiss you again when I shouldn't have"

Castiel listened intently hearing Dean open his heart up to him again like last time. It was a rare moment and he knew Dean would never, ever, say it again.

"But you're a flirting dick and you teased me rotten" he whispered and shook his head when Castiel grinned. "I couldn't help myself on Halloween, you looked gorgeous and I took you because I wanted you and then the desk…"

Castiel flushed pressing lips to Dean's cheek bone. Dean grinned clucking his tongue between his teeth.

"You're amazing in bed, I hope you know that"

"Shut up"

"I'm being serious, you're young, gorgeous, and lean" he murmured raking his eyes down his body wrapped in a hospital gown. "It's in my top five of best nights ever"

"You have a top five?"

"Shush" Dean said placing his hand over his lips. "After that we just took off, a blowjob in a cupboard, and then Jo's party where I took you back to mine and I fucked you and then we talked about families, friends, and everything else. I opened my heart up to you and didn't realise at the time you were taking it from me. Then you told me about what happened to you and it meant you trusted me enough to tell me something as big as that"

"It's when I started to realise I was falling fast for you and it fucking terrified me because I was your teacher and the thought of going to prison for something like this just didn't fit for me. We had that snow day and I took you out telling you about Cassie, telling you my favourite films, food, and I was opening my heart even more"

Castiel smiled at the memory resting his head in the crook of his arm knowing the feeling.

"Then my dad died and you were there for me, you never left my side"

"I would have never left you"

"Then we spent Christmas together and then…you told me you loved me and I shoved you out because you scared me so much. You loved me" Dean said cupping his cheeks.

"No, I love you, not loved"

"Then you met Balthazar" Dean said rolling his eyes. "Do you have any idea what jealously is like?"

"I have an idea"

"It's not nice and when he's in love with you…"

"He's not in love with me!" Castiel protested.

Dean raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head. "He is, Cas, believe me. I got jealous and angry because he wanted you and he could take you away from me. We don't have the easiest time in this relationship, Cas, but when I told you that I love you, I meant it".

"What about when you ended it?"

Dean's eyes dimmed in sadness. "I wanted one last night with you, Cas, I didn't want words and I just wanted to kiss you, touch you, and remember you. It killed me, Cas, I had to stand there and watch you fall apart in front of me and I couldn't even take it back because I had to end it not just for me but for us"

Castiel winced at the pain in his lower regions which Dean soothed brushing his hand very softly on his hip.

"Then you went and cracked your head open" Dean said with a snort. "I freaked out and I knew it was my fault"

"It wasn't…"

"The nightmares came back because I wasn't there to make them go away…it was my fault"

Castiel sighed moving his hand to touch the warm skin underneath his t-shirt. Dean stayed quiet for a long time.

"This was my wakeup call that we have never ending bad luck and I should run for the hills or a hole because we're like two magnets being forced together" Dean murmured with a chuckle. "But there's a bond between us that won't fade no matter what happens, no matter what I do or you do it will never fade. I realised I wanted you in my life for a very long time and I wanted my future with only you"

Castiel smiled moving his head up to kiss his lips.

"Dean is there any reason you're telling me this?" he whispered with a quizzical tilt to his head. Dean nodded laying his head back so he could look into his eyes.

"Because I'm a big girl and I'm telling you how I fell in love with you" Dean said with an embarrassed chuckle. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut with a smile when Dean kissed the tip of his nose. "I hate you"

"I hate you too" Castiel murmured with a glint to his eye. "Only you can make me laugh and bloody smile when I've been shot"

"I'm just awesome" Dean said brushing back the black curl resting on his forehead. "But the most important question is have I just spilled my guts to someone who doesn't feel the same?"

Castiel turned startled eyes to Dean who smirked.

"Are you teasing me, Mr Winchester?"

"Maybe, Mr Milton"

Castiel rolled his eyes at him and laced their hands together. "I don't feel the same, not one little bit, I think I might be sick"

Dean sneered at him when he chuckled at his own joke. Castiel hissed at the pain that spread inside him when he moved.

"You need to sleep" Dean said moving forward avoiding his stomach and pressing warm lips to his hair. "You can heal without pain"

"Stay with me?"

"I'll never leave you"

Castiel smiled weakly at him before resting on his shoulder and falling asleep.

**~0~**

"It's about time, home time" Gabriel said clapping his hands when Castiel was helped out of bed. Castiel glared at Gabriel and rested against Dean's chest. It had been several days after he had woken up. The doctors were very pleased with his progress so he was allowed to go home but under strict orders to rest.

"I want him to stay with me" Castiel said when they got in the car. Dean pointed at himself when Castiel nodded looking over to Gabriel who rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but it's up to Dean"

"Stay with me tonight?" he pleaded looking into the rear-view window. Dean nodded once flicking his eyes to Gabriel.

"No…well you know" he said.

"Sex?" Castiel said making Dean flush and look away. "I can barely breathe without wanting to cry from pain! How can I have sex?"

"Alright! Just a warning" Gabriel said driving them out of the hospital.

"Cas!" Dean hissed glaring at him. Castiel smirked looking out of the passenger window and looking forward to seeing his own bed and not eat shit hospital food. Dean felt like a nervous teenager staying over at someone's house but he knew this was for Castiel and who knew what his dreams would be like now.

Anna rushed out to meet them and smiled when she saw Castiel. Anna helped him out and held him close, he hissed in pain and she let go.

"I'm sorry…are you hungry?"

"No, Dean's staying with tonight though" Castiel said looking over to Dean who rolled his eyes at him.

"Okay" she said with a small smile.

"I feel like a teenager" Dean murmured into his ear when he helped him inside.

"Dean, I can't sleep without you, you know that" he said turning his head to look at him. "They're fine with it"

"I still think this is fucking strange" Gabriel said shutting the car door. Anna smirked and glanced towards the door.

"Says the one who had a twenty year old girlfriend when they were fifteen"

Gabriel laughed and nodded. "Do you think it runs in the veins?"

"Yes" Anna said laughing and they walked inside.

Castiel groaned at the stairs. "Carry me?"

"No, walk" Dean said amused moving him forward. Dean followed after him as he walked up slowly and when he reached the top glared at Dean.

"Enjoy my pain?"

"No, I enjoyed the view of your ass though" Dean murmured kissing his neck.

Castiel moved towards his bed and sighed when Dean helped him in and sat down.

"Nice room"

"It's plain and simple" Castiel said with a shrug. Dean smiled at him when he settled into his pillows glad to have Dean by his side. The day passed by quickly with Anna giving them meals and Dean entertaining Castiel.

"I'm bored" Castiel said with a pout.

"You could sleep, it's nearly nine"

"No, I want you…to sing to me"

"What? No" Dean said flicking his thigh. "I'm twenty six, not six"

"Sing to me!"

Dean scoffed shaking his head and pulled out his phone to see three missed calls from school and Sam.

**Sam.**

**Dude, I am seriously worried. I'm coming round tomorrow whether you like it or not! Ellen told me you quit your job. Why! Call me or I'm coming round. **

Dean rolled his eyes dropping it on the side table and looking at Castiel who waited patiently.

"God, you'll be the death of me" he hissed standing up and removing his jeans and sliding in next to him.

"I thought I was getting a strip tease"

"Ha ha" Dean muttered facing him and sighing. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Anything"

Dean sighed pressing his lips to his shoulder and cast a glance at the sickly yellow wallpaper.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…" he whispered into his ear with a smirk causing Castiel to blush and laugh.

"You make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know, dear, how much I love you…so please don't take my sunshine away"

"Why that of every song ever created?"

"Your wallpaper reminds me of the sun" Dean said with a shrug. "What else?"

"Anything other than that"

Dean smirked and nodded rolling over to switch off the lamp and wrapped his arms around him protectively. Castiel rolled with him and being careful to not harm his stomach stayed in the crook of his neck.

"Hey, Jude, don't make it bad, take a song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better" Dean crooned into his ear softly. "Hey, Jude, don't be afraid, you were made to go out and get her. The minute you let under your skin, then you begin to make it better".

"What's that?"

"My mom used to sing it to me" Dean murmured rubbing his back when Castiel smiled gently.

"I like it, sing it again" he murmured feeling sleepy from his pain medication and listened to Dean's soft words in his ear as he drifted off and was thankful to be alive. Heaven, paradise, peace, even a million dollars was nothing compared to this and Castiel was thankful for a second chance. No amount of bad luck or bullets could them apart and it didn't matter what was thrown at them next, they would always overcome it.

**A/N: You lot have given me over 300 reviews! I am so shocked at how successful this has become, I seriously didn't expect it too. I give everyone hugs, cookies, and love. **

**I think a few more chapters and then the end, folks, it had to end sometime but you never know…might do a sequel? Depends on how it goes. **

**So, review! **


	30. Chapter 30

Despite the situation, Dean woke up in a surprisingly happy mood. He turned his head to see a tuft of black hair underneath the blankets and smiled softly.

"Cas" he whispered pressing his lips to the nape of his neck.

"What?" he murmured sleepily.

"I have to go"

"Why?"

"Sam wants to see me, I'm going to tell him about us" he whispered pressing gentle kisses down his neck. Castiel groaned sleepily pressing a hand to his sore stomach and nodded.

"Okay" he said with a sigh.

Dean smiled against his skin and pulled back. "I'll be back later"

"Kay, love you" he mumbled into the pillow.

"Love you too" Dean muttered pulling on his jeans and sitting back for a moment. It was nearly 10am and Dean knew Sam liked to catch him by surprise and arrive early. Anna looked up from the couch when she heard Dean descend down the stairs.

"Good morning" she said with a soft smile.

"I guess" he murmured running his hand into his hair. "I'll be back later"

Anna nodded looking down at her coffee contemplating how to ask the question lingering in her mind.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" he said opening the front door and looking back to her.

"You really love my brother don't you? I mean despite the age difference and everything included…you really do love him"

Dean pressed his lips together and gave a brief nod. "I really do and I'm shocked myself about how I really feel"

"Good, so don't go breaking his heart" she warned pointing a finger at him.

"Ma'am" he said with a salute before walking out into the brisk morning. He inhaled the morning air and felt his stomach flip and turn at the thought of telling Sam about Castiel. Dean knew Sam would not take the information lightly and shrug it off. Dean arrived at the flat and swallowed hard fighting back his nerves; he couldn't even sit down and think before a loud demanding knock startled him.

"Sam!" he heard Jess hiss.

Dean inhaled deeply closing his eyes before opening the door to reveal Jess and Sam.

"Sam"

"Dean"

Jess rolled her eyes at the both of them and forced her way into the apartment.

"Seriously" Jess said standing in the middle of the room. "If we are going to have this conversation then we are going to have it like the mature, responsible adults we are"

"Tell him! He's been keeping secrets from us" Sam cried pointing at Dean who scowled at him.

"Enough! Dean, what's been going on?" Jess said pointing at Sam to sit next to her. Sam huffed but obeyed his wife and dropped down next to her.

"Well…it's a little difficult to explain"

"Start from the beginning…"

"Why have you quit your job? Why have you been avoiding us, my calls, and the truth?" Sam said interrupting her.

"Sam…"

"No, tell me, Dean" he ordered.

"You want to know the truth? Fine, I've been secretly seeing one of my students since October last year, his name is Cas, well Castiel, and he's eighteen" Dean said staring at the both of them in the eye. It could have been comical the way both of their mouths dropped open in horror and shock but it really wasn't.

"Excuse me?"

"What!"

"You heard me, both of you; I've been secretly seeing a student called Castiel Milton since October. I don't regret it, I don't regret him, and I don't regret what we now have"

Sam gaped staring at Jess and back at Dean in complete horror. "You're actually being serious? Dean, please, please, tell me this is some sort of sick joke!"

"No"

"Sam, just shut up for a second" Jess said standing up and tilting her head at Dean questioningly.

"You've been dating an eighteen year old student?"

"Yes"

"This same person who you refused to tell us about"

"Yes"

"The one who made you the happiest I've ever seen you?"

"Jess!" Sam protested in shock.

Dean swallowed and considered her for a long moment. "Yeah"

"This is why you've quit your job?"

"No, not all the reason"

"Explain" Jess said ignoring Sam's protests and splutters of outrage and horror.

"Castiel's father tried to kill him, twice, the first time he carved a demon warding symbol into his chest and the second time which was only a few days ago he was shot. Cas died in my arms…you have no idea how that feels, Jess, not a single clue till the person you've fallen stupidly in love with is dying and you can't do a single thing to stop it"

Sam's splutters of outrage had died instantly as he stared at Dean in surprise. Jess covered her heart and swallowed looking down at the floor.

"They took into the ambulance and he died again…I had to watch it all and I dream about it, I dream he dies for real and then I wake up he's there and he's fine. I don't give a shit that he's nine years younger than me, if he's a student and I could go to prison because he's so….so different" Dean said covering his watery eyes and sniffing deeply. Jess pressed her lips together glancing back to Sam who looked away.

"It's still wrong, Dean" Sam muttered.

"I don't give a damn, Sam, I am sick of listening to people telling me I'm wrong. If an eighty year old man can marry a forty year old gold digger or a seventy year old woman can give birth to twins then why can't I see him? Because he's a student or I'm abusing my power?"

"Because he's eighteen! He's a teenager and you have abused your power! You can go to prison for this, Dean"

"I know!"

"Guys!" Jess said stepping in between them and shoving them apart. "This is not helping"

"I can't believe this! What are you thinking?" Sam shouted ignoring Jess this time.

"What am I thinking? I'm thinking I was right, Sammy, I knew you would react like this. I want you to imagine for one second you're my age and Jess is eighteen, you see her, you want her and you know deep down its wrong but you can't help it and she can't help it. You get to know each other, you see the good side of her, the bad side of her, the part you want to strangle and the part you want to hold close because you're falling fast"

Sam swallowed hard giving a sidelong glance to Jess who was looking between them.

"Then imagine falling in love with her and then someone telling you to break up with her, you have to break her heart and there is nothing you can do to make it better. Now imagine she's dying in your arms…"

"Shut up"

"No, Sam, imagine it…imagine knowing you're going to lose her and instantly knowing you would give up the world for them"

Dean gritted his teeth and looked away breathing out a harsh breath.

"You're in my shoes" he said looking to Sam who was looking over at Jess. "Your Jess is my Cas"

"He's a teenager, Dean"

"So?"

"If the police find out, Dean, you could go to prison for years!"

"He's worth it!"

Sam scoffed walking away from him shaking his head. Jess swallowed and breathed in looking shaken and looked over to Dean.

"Castiel, does he make you happy?"

"God yes" he muttered. "You have no idea"

"I think I do" Jess said with a small smile. "I understand Sam's concern because they match mine, there is the age difference and the fact he's a student but…I've seen you miserable, Dean, and we have been trying so hard to get you to date someone and he may not be the one we think is suitable for you but if he makes you happy…"

"Why are you supporting this!" Sam said grabbing her wrist alarmed.

"Because he's family, Sam, I know you're freaking out because you're his brother and he could go to prison for this but…he's happy"

Sam looked over to Dean and closed his eyes rubbing the bridge between his eyes feeling a headache coming on. Sam felt sick to his stomach at the thought of losing his brother to prison over something like this and couldn't push it away.

"It's wrong"

"Everything is wrong, Sam, I'm not some sick pervert prying on kids…I would never look at someone like that ever again…Cas is so different, he's like a huge spotlight…he's changed me so much and even you've seen it"

Sam nodded averting his eyes.

"You, Jess, and Daniel are my family, you are all I have, Sam, but he's in that picture now and I'm not giving him up again. I can't. But I don't want to lose you, Sammy"

"You're not going to lose me"

"Then try and understand this…for me? This is one of the hardest things I've ever said to you because I knew you would react like this…but nothing's going to happen to me, not now, I've quit the job and no one will know"

"Are you keeping it a secret?"

"For now" Dean said with a nod.

"You're not going to lose us, Dean; you just need to give us a little time to wrap our heads around this. It's a huge deal" Jess said pressing her hand over Sam's heart. Dean swallowed hard feeling the lump giveaway slightly and looked over at Sam seeing the conflict in his eyes shine.

"Time is exactly what we have" Dean murmured.

**~0~**

Castiel sighed kicking his covers from underneath his feet feeling restless and unbelievably sore. The pain in his middle was extreme even with his pain medication which made him sleepy and sick.

"Hey, sweetheart" Anna said walking in and giving him a glass of juice and a sandwich.

"Dean not called?"

"Not yet" Anna said with a small smile and walking out.

Castiel sighed feeling lonely and pulled his phone towards him seeing a dozen missed calls from Jo, Pamela, Balthazar, and even Ash. He dialled Balthazar's number and blinked when he answered on the second dial.

"Holy shit, I heard what happened to you, and I have been freaking out! Cassy, tell me you are okay" he rambled.

"I'm alive" he murmured amused.

"Mr Obvious are we now? I can't believe it…you were shot! I can't…Castiel, you were with me and then you were in hospital in a death induced coma"

"I know, my father came for me"

"Why?"

"A long story involving details I am not ready to tell, Balthazar, but it happened and now my father is dead, he committed suicide"

"Holy shit" Balthazar breathed. "I am more than glad you're okay"

"My family and Dean have been caring for me"

"Oh so he is useful?"

"Balthazar"

"I thought you hated the guy?"

Castiel smirked amused and bit down on his bottom lip. "I lied; we made a deal to tell people we hated each other while secretly seeing each other"

"I fucking knew it"

"No you didn't"

"I did! I knew something was going on" Balthazar cried down the phone erupting a small peal of laughter from Castiel. Balthazar smiled hearing it and closed his eyes feeling relief flood through him and another type of feeling he was forbidden to feel.

"I meant it when I said I was glad you're okay"

"I know you did" Castiel muttered. "I'm okay, I'm going to heal perfectly and be back for my exams"

"Good! I miss you"

Castiel smiled and nodded looking over to the window to see a peek of sun and a blue sky. "I'll see you soon, Balthazar"

"Yeah" Balthazar murmured wistfully and heard the dial tone.

Castiel felt exhausted from one phone call and dropped his phone on the bed with a long tired sigh. He felt his nerves and heart jump when the door went downstairs and he struggled up wincing and groaning at the pain in his stomach.

"Hey!" Dean said when he bounded upstairs. "Lie down, Mr Milton"

"Hey" Castiel said with a wide smile just for him. Dean gave him a small smile walking over and dropping down to kiss him. Castiel smiled when he stroked his thumb over his stubble nipping at his bottom lip.

"How did it go?" Castiel murmured when they parted. Dean sighed kicking his shoes off and dropping down gently when Castiel moved up to give him room.

"Shit" Dean said peeking up at him when he trailed his hand into his hair. "Sam reacted badly as did Jess but she hid it well"

"It will take time" Castiel murmured softly with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I know I just…I wanted them to understand"

"It's hard to understand, Dean, our situation is difficult and you know that. We're not exactly normal and we didn't get together normally"

"Why are you eighteen?"

"Why are twenty six?"

Dean rolled his eyes and smiled when he nuzzled the side of his head.

"I think you should sing to me again" Castiel murmured.

"No, I'm not in the mood" Dean said closing his eyes.

"Spoilsport" Castiel hissed into his ear. "I'm serious about California by the way"

"I thought that was one of your dreams" Dean murmured. "You can go to any medical school, Cas"

"Will you follow me?"

"I'll follow you into the dark" Dean said truthfully. "Like you would for me"

"Of course" Castiel murmured with a small smirk. "I want California, I want that little fairy-tale you wanted…it's perfect and we're together"

"Do think our bad luck will ruin it?"

"Who knows" Castiel replied with a sad frown. "I would hope our bad luck has run out"

"No such thing" Dean said pressing his forehead against his. "But we'll fight through it like we always do"

"I know"

Dean remained there for a long moment before pulling away eyeing him up and down.

"First things first, I want you to get better, I want you to get through all those exams, and I want you to go to prom"

"Dean, not prom" Castiel said with a groan pressing his forehead against his shoulder.

"Every 12th grader must have prom, Cas, including you" Dean muttered kissing the back of his head. "Why should you miss out?"

"Did you go to yours?"

"I did…I ended up making out with Sandy Leaper" he said with a small smirk which sobered when Castiel glared at him.

"Is that jealously?" Dean said amazed.

"No" he said with a pout which turned into a smile when Dean kissed the tip of his nose.

"I'm all yours, Cas"

"Yes, you're mine" Castiel said with smug satisfaction wrapping his arms around him. "Oh how the girls will weep"

Dean rolled his eyes dropping down on the cushion next to him and pressing two fingers over his eyes.

"Sleep"

"Why?"

"The more you sleep, the more you heal" Dean said watching Castiel smile softly and close his eyes. Black lashes falling just shy onto his cheeks, rosy cheeks more defined on his cheek bones, and a rose dusted pink lips he longed to kiss over and over again. He was more beautiful than he had imagined and the thought made him chuckle at how girly he truly was now.

Dean sighed slowly knowing he had yet the support of his brother and Jess but at least he hadn't lost him. Family was important and Dean needed his family just as much as he needed love and companionship. He would see Castiel through his exams and prom till the time come when their future would be decided for them both and he wanted to leave knowing he had the love and support of his family, nothing else mattered.

If there was anything he could wish for right now it would be, for his family to support his decision and for no more bad luck. There's only so much you can take before you before every falls apart.

**A/N: A small chapter. It's a filler for my more important chapters coming up. **

**Personal note, I am moving into my new flat and the internet has broken down which means updates are going to be slow. I have no idea when I will next update but I will try my very best for you all. **

**It is a hectic time but I am a loyal writer. **

**Enjoy, review, and also if I write a sequel…what should the plotline be? **


	31. Chapter 31

It had been four weeks after the shooting and Castiel was healing marvellously well. In between the four weeks of recovery, Castiel had been studying for his upcoming exams, filling in three applications for medical schools and looking over California apartments with Dean.

Whilst Dean had been struggling to find a common ground with his brother and finding a part time job. Dean had been to see Martin and handed in his notice to his very pissed off ex-boss who said he was fired anyway wanting to have the upper ground. Dean was desperate to have Sam find a way to move past the fact he was seeing an eighteen year old student and accept it for what it is. Jess had repeatedly told Dean, "I'm trying my best", but it seemed to be going nowhere.

"Why am I applying to Wisconsin?" Castiel grumbled lying in between Dean's legs and resting on his chest. They were lying together in Dean's apartment looking over medical schools and revising for his exams.

"Because if you don't get into California, you're screwed" Dean said with a small smile looking at the booklet.

"It looks cold and miserable" he murmured in distaste. "I still can't believe I'm going back to school tomorrow"

Dean wrinkled his nose pressing into his shoulder.

"Dean, I'm ready and you know I am as well" Castiel argued throwing the book aside. "My stitches are gone, there's hardly any pain, and I am perfectly fine to go back in. My exam is tomorrow anyway"

"I don't want you to get jostled or hurt, Cas, I used to work there and I've seen a thousand nose bleeds, bruised ribs, and busted lips to know it does happen"

"You're sweet when you're protective" Castiel murmured tilting his head back to look at him.

"I'm not sorry for wanting to wrap you in cotton wool" Dean protested kissing his forehead.

Castiel snorted amused looking forward with a sigh.

"Jo and Balthazar say it's not been the same without me"

"Jo the betrayer and Balthazar the guy who wants to jump your bones"

"Jo is not a betrayer!"

"I know, I was kidding…but not about Balthazar"

"He doesn't"

"He does!"

"He's dating Pamela, Dean"

"So?"

Castiel huffed rolling his eyes at the stupid little argument over one of his best friends.

"He does not want to jump my bones, he knows I love you"

"Do they know?"

"Jo and Balthazar do, Pamela and Ash do not" Castiel murmured licking his bottom lip. "I don't know how to tell them without them freaking out at me…Ash will probably nod along and deal with it but Pamela…she has a major crush on you"

Dean chuckled and nodded. "I knew it"

"It's not funny, Dean, she's going to hate me and question why me instead of her"

"Because she's not my type, she has curves, breasts, and womanly features, I want muscle, sex appeal, and a gorgeous head of hair" Dean murmured pressing his nose into his hair inhaling his shampoo.

"I hope that's me"

"No it's not"

Castiel elbowed him backwards and smiled when he grunted.

"Well like, Jo, Balthazar, Gabriel, Anna, Jess, and Sam…I'll have to tell and deal it. Doesn't it scare you about how many people know?" Castiel said with wide eyes.

"A little bit but I get over it" Dean murmured resting his head back and closing his eyes. "They had to know, Cas, otherwise we would have been caught and be in a bigger mess then we already are"

Castiel let out a deep sigh and nodded leaning back against his shoulder.

"Do you think Sam will ever accept me?"

"I hope so" Dean murmured thoughtfully trailing his fingers into Cas' soft hair. Castiel hummed like a little kitten wriggling a little when shivers ran down his spine. Dean raised an eyebrow and moaned when he rubbed against his cock. They hadn't had sex in over four weeks and it was beginning to kill Dean.

"Cas, you keep doing that and I'm going to end up coming all over your back" Dean hissed when he wriggled again.

"Really?" Castiel murmured when he pushed back against his cock feeling it harden instantly.

"Cas" Dean groaned pitifully when he laughed. "We haven't had sex in weeks, it's killing me"

"You think I'm not struggling either?"

"Not as much as me"

Castiel smirked turning over towards him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you've been shot, Cas, I didn't and don't want to hurt you"

"I'm fine now"

Dean eyed him doubtfully but couldn't resist spreading his legs when Castiel crawled up to his chest and smirked.

"I could hurt you"

"We'll never know till we find out" Castiel murmured.

Dean cupped him suddenly feeling Castiel gasp and moan.

"Whoa, I think you're horny as I am"

"Fuck me" Castiel hissed gripping the top of his hair grinding his hips against him. Dean's eyes rolled back and he nodded gripping his hips tight and pushing him upwards and down onto the couch.

"Tell me if I hurt your stomach"

"It's fine" he murmured tugging off his t-shirt and glancing down at his chest with a wrinkle of disgust. "I'm disgusting"

Dean looked down at him in disbelief and shook his head slowly. "You're gorgeous, Cas"

"I'm not…look at this" Castiel said pointing at his chest and bandage over his middle. "I'm a mess" Dean shook his head again and moved down pressing his lips over the faint scarring.

"We all have our own personal scars, Cas, and these are yours. They're symbols of what you've been through and what you've beaten. This and this are not ugly and you're not a mess"

"You love me, you would say that" Castiel murmured still full of doubt.

"Cas, I didn't love you when I first saw it and I still thought you were beautiful" Dean whispered cupping the side of his neck and kissing him deeply. Castiel groaned moving his hand down to undo Dean's belt and tugging his jeans down.

"Fuck me" he pleaded when Dean did the same and removed the rest of their clothing till they were naked. Castiel moaned when their bare skin made contact and rubbed up against him desperate for more friction. Dean felt under the couch and pulled out a tube of lube squeezing it onto his fingers and rubbing his fingers against the small hole. Castiel gasped feeling shivers of pleasure radiant inside him and nodded moaning his name loudly.

"Dean, fuck me, make love to me, I don't care…. just get inside me right now!" Castiel begged when his fingers breached inside him fingering and scissoring him open.

"Patience is a lovely little virtue, baby" he teased kissing his adam's apple.

"Fuck my virtue"

"I'm trying" he murmured crooking his fingers inside him watching him arch crying out.

"Dean" he whined tossing his head. Dean grinned and obeyed pulling his fingers out and positioned himself and sliding inside the tight hole slowly. Dean closed his eyes when he was sheathed inside him and moaned realising how much he had missed this.

"Fuck" Castiel groaned gripping him tight and kissing him hard. They kissed slow and passionately as their bodies rocked together perfectly and familiar. It felt like reuniting and touching for the first time in a long time, every sensation heightened, every feeling exploding into something more and intimate.

"I've missed this" Castiel moaned spreading his legs wider loving and hating the familiar burn inside him. Dean nodded grunting in agreement when he fucked him slow and hard brushing against Castiel's prostrate. Castiel gasped wrapping a hand around his cock pumping his hand in time feeling his orgasm start to build up inside him and it didn't take long for his release as he climaxed with a shout hitting Dean's stomach.

Castiel was more than thankful that it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. Dean gripped his hair tight feeling his own climax and shuddered rolling his hips deep inside him as he came inside him. Castiel breathed out heavily when Dean hovered over him before pulling out and kneeling on the couch.

"That was so good" Castiel moaned covering his eyes.

"Did it hurt?" Dean murmured stroking his hand over the bandage.

"Not as much as I thought it would" Castiel said with a smile.

"Good" Dean murmured kissing him briefly. Castiel grinned at the fact he now had his sex life back and felt a burst of happiness when Dean pulled him up gently so he could his arms and legs around him and kissed him slowly. They relished the fact they could do this now without fear or being found out.

**~0~**

"Anyone hurts you, shoves you, or anything I want you to punch them" Dean warned when he was dressed and ready to go.

"Dean, stop worrying!"

"I can't, Cas"

"I promise I'll punch whoever shoves me" he said with an eye roll.

"Good, come here" he muttered beckoning him over to the bed and kissing him.

"An over protective boyfriend, I didn't think I'd get that" Castiel murmured thoughtfully.

"Can you deal with it for a while? You were shot, Cas, I'm allowed to freak out a little" Dean said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's allowed" Castiel replied kissing him softly and grabbed his bag. "See you later"

Dean watched him leave with a small frown knowing he shouldn't feel worried but he couldn't help it and knowing he was surrounded by a load of kids who couldn't care less about him worried him.

Castiel looked up at Cardozo feeling an overwhelming desire to turn and run knowing Dean wasn't working there anymore but he needed to do this. He walked inside and down the corridor heading towards his locker when he heard a squeal and turned to see a figure jump at him and hug him. Castiel huffed wincing at the sudden sharp pain in his middle and pulled back to see Jo.

"Oh god, I am so sorry!" she said looking him up and down. "I'm just so happy to see you! How are you?"

"I'm okay now" he murmured opening up his locker and gasping when cards fell out.

"People wanted to wish their best wishes so posted them all here"

Castiel stared at what seemed to be a hundred cards in and out of the locker.

"Hardly any of them speak or know you" Balthazar said appearing out of nowhere. Castiel turned his head grinning at him and bent down scooping them all up.

"They hear a student has been shot and I'm suddenly the top gun" he said with a smirk.

"Is that humour I hear?"

"Maybe" Castiel responded looking up to Balthazar who chuckled lightly.

"Casanova!" Pamela screamed coming towards him and hugging him hard. "Holy shit! I couldn't fucking believe it and you're here!"

"Yes" he choked when she squeezed too hard and let go.

"Good to see you're okay, dude" Ash said looking him up and down.

"Thanks, Ash" he murmured in relief when Pamela let go.

"Well, well, look who's still alive" a cold voice said and they all turned to see Meg and Ruby standing there.

"I forgotten your existence" Castiel murmured eyeing her.

"I heard you were shot, it's a huge pity you didn't actually die" she said with a malicious smirk.

Balthazar stiffened suddenly next to him and went to speak when Jo and Pamela stepped forward protective and furious.

"I have been waiting to do this for a long time" Jo said stepping in front of Meg. Jo moved towards her suddenly and slapped her so hard she reeled back hitting the locker.

"You little bitch" Ruby hissed moving towards her but was stopped by Pamela who shoved her away.

"Like she said, sweetheart, I've been waiting a long time as well to smack that smug ugly smile of your face!" she growled gripping her hair and shoving her down on the ground. Ruby screamed punching back when Pamela ripped a chunk of her hair out.

Castiel watched in surprise when Jo slammed Meg into the locker face first.

"Threatening someone like that? Wishing they were dead? You're scum of the earth, you twisted bitch"

"Should we stop this?" Castiel hissed when the girls screamed and fought bloodily.

"No" Balthazar watching with a tilted head a gleam in his eye. Castiel looked towards Ash who laughed shaking his head.

"ENOUGH!" a voice roared and they turned to see Bobby coming down the hallway and pull the girls apart as they spat blood out and stared at each other breathless.

"She started it!"

"You're a crazy bitch!" Meg shouted at her.

"Me? You're a psychotic little whore!" Jo shouted waving a lock of Meg's hair in her face. Meg swung her fist towards her but was held back by Bobby who ordered the four of them to the principal's office. Castiel mouthed "thank you" to Pamela and Jo who nodded looking smug but sore.

"That was hot" Balthazar said nodding looking over to Castiel who rolled his eyes at him.

"Isn't she your girlfriend?"

Balthazar looked uncomfortable at the question and shrugged. "We've dated…"

"You mean you've fucked"

"That's dating?"

Castiel laughed covering his eyes and looked up when the bell went. "Who's the new history teacher?"

"Some old broad called Annie" Balthazar said with a shrug. "I never, ever, thought I would even say this but I kinda miss your man"

"What?" Ash said startled.

Castiel gasped looking at Balthazar who closed his eyes in horror.

"You're seeing…Dean Winchester?" Ash said horrified.

"Oh my god" Castiel breathed and faced him biting his lip. "Yes I am but I will explain everything to you and of course Pamela at break time so please….don't say anything" he begged.

Ash looked at Balthazar and nodded looking dazed and confused. Ash left them to it and wandered into the history room while Castiel hit Balthazar hard on the arm.

"I'm sorry! I forgot he was there and well…its old news"

"Not to him or Pamela, Balthazar, I was going to wait and tell them" Castiel said brushing a hand into his hair. "I don't need this with all my exams coming up"

"They'll understand"

"How can you possibly know that? The sooner I finish and move to California the better"

Balthazar froze stiff and looked towards him. "You're moving to California?"

"Yes? I'm going to medical school there and Dean is coming with me"

Balthazar swallowed hard suddenly feeling very sick and walked away from him into the classroom.

"Balthazar?" he called and swallowed suddenly feeling rather confused and upset.

Castiel turned walking down the hallway and feeling rather lonely when he entered the classroom and longed the day to hurry up so he could return back to the apartment with Dean.

**~0~**

Castiel wasn't prepared for the consequences when Pamela and Ash charged up to him in the yard, Ash looking sheepish and confused while Pamela was thunderous.

"Ash has just told me you are seeing Dean Winchester!" she hissed poking him in the chest.

"It's true"

"What?" she shouted alarmed.

"I've been seeing him since October and I am not going to explain myself because I am sick of explaining myself to everyone who finds out. It happened, I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me and it doesn't matter if I'm younger by nine years and we are teacher and student because I still love him" Castiel ranted looking between them. "Dean has quit his job now and as long as the school board never finds out before we go to California then we'll be okay"

Pamela looked over to Ash who shrugged.

"Wow" he murmured.

"I can't actually believe it…this is huge!" she said looking astonished and suddenly happy. "Is he good in bed?"

"What?"

"I bet he is, I bet he's an animal in the bedroom" Pamela said nodding and grinning at him. "Did you think I would be furious?"

"Yes"

"No, I'm surprised and a little confused by these sudden turn of events but hey! You're fucking a teacher, it doesn't get any better"

"You can't tell anyone" he warned.

"We promise" Pamela said turning to Ash who crossed his heart with a smirk.

Castiel blinked feeling surprised and curious at how well they were taking it, a little too well, and it did scare him a little bit. The day ended quickly after the surprising confrontation and after a quick call to Gabriel to tell him he would be at Dean's, he was home.

Dean looked up when he walked in and smiled softly when he walked in unscathed.

"How was it?"

"Exam went well, Meg told me I should have died and Jo beat her up receiving two weeks of detention every day but she said it was worth it and Pamela plus Ash know about us"

Dean blinked at the sudden information and held open his arms which he walked into clinging to him.

"How did Pamela take it?"

"Very well…scarily well in fact and so did Ash" he muttered into his chest.

"Meg…that little bitch" Dean scoffed. "She'll end up in prison or on the streets with the way she's going"

"Dean…"

"I don't care" he said honestly. "I'm glad to hear Jo beat her up!"

Castiel chuckled and simply clung to him inhaling his warm smell when suddenly Dean let go and stepped back.

"I have news" Dean said with a small smile.

"Okay?"

"It's a little soon and you might not even get in to the medical school but…I secured an apartment for us. It's fifteen minutes away from the school so you can get there and back, it's good money, it looks nice, all I have to do is go see it and pay for it" Dean said watching his every reaction while Castiel stared at him.

"You-you've got us our own home?" he whispered.

"Yeah…but I can say no…" Dean said wrinkling his brow up. Castiel pressed his lips together looking down at the wooden floors before jumping at Dean who caught him startled.

"I can't believe you did that!" he cried clutching him tight. Dean laughed relieved and nodded.

"You get bored all alone in an apartment and I know you, I know you can get into this school and if you get an interview we can visit the apartment as well" Dean said when he pulled back kissing him fiercely.

"I love you so much right now" Castiel hissed cupping the back of his neck. "How are you perfect?"

"I'm far from perfect" he murmured.

"You're perfect for me, you will always be perfect for me" Castiel said staring into his eyes. The green flared with warmth and happiness and shut when he moved forward kissing him.

"Good, because this apartment is awesome" he muttered and chuckled when Castiel shoved him towards the bedroom.

"I'm going to show you how much you have made me happy, Dean bloody Winchester" he hissed pushing him down on the bed.

"Oh baby, talk to dirty to me" Dean said amused when they undressed.

For now it was happiness and light in the horizon for their future while they headed towards it. In a few weeks prom would be underway and the last of exams would be completed and nearly a year would be passed since their first meeting all the way back in September 1st. California seemed on the cards with hopefully a long future ahead and with the acceptance of friends and some family it seemed they would be alright. They had yet to receive the acceptance of Sam but Dean was hopeful he would come round, he always did.

From a forbidden affair came a romance they didn't even think would exist for them. A massive amount of bad luck, near death experiences, and broken hearts cannot break them apart no matter what. Age difference, status, and jobs are nothing compared to the most powerful forces on the planet, temptation and love. One is wanted more than anything and the other is feared and sometimes forbidden but when the two collide what do you get? A forbidden love story.

**A/N: This is unexpected; I didn't expect to end so soon. Wow. **

**I may write a sequel for this, I am not sure because I always screw up my sequels. **

**Thank you so much for 300+ reviews, guys, this is the most successful story ever! I can't believe I've ended it. **

**There may be a few things left unresolved but if I write a sequel I will resolves them. If not, imagine your scenarios! **


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